I Love You

I love you.

Three little words that carry tremendous weight. Uttered by some too quickly and by others not quickly enough.

When my ex boyfriend and I had started seeing each other for quite some time, he said, “I’ve never told any girl that I loved her.” He looked proud. I, on the other hand, pitied him and almost said, “I’m so sorry for you.” At that point I’d been lucky enough to love two men.

I haven’t had that many boyfriends. Jake’s my fourth and we’ve been together for the last six years. My shortest relationship has lasted around two years. So I don’t take my relationships lightly. But I have loved each man I’ve dated. To be honest, in some ways I still do.

I don’t believe love ever goes away completely. Loving someone is kind of like giving a piece of your soul or being to someone else. Even if things don’t work out between the two of you, the person always carries a special spot in your heart. Their place in my heart is nowhere near what Jake occupies but it’s still there. After having shared years of memories with someone, I don’t think you can ever have no feelings whatsoever for that person.

I’ve never worried about saying, “I love you.” I didn’t care whether I was the first or the other party had already uttered the words. With the exception of my first boyfriend, which was an exceptional circumstance, I can’t even remember which one of us said it out loud first in any of my relationships. I think the hard part is having all the associated feelings, not saying the words.

Loving someone means giving that person a part of who you are. It means trusting them with a piece of your heart. It means taking a risk. And it hurts. But big rewards don’t often happen without big risks.

So, if you love someone, I say, “Tell him. Tell her.” Don’t worry about what she or he thinks. This is not about the other person; it’s about you and about how you feel. Love is an incredible feeling and you’re lucky to be experiencing it. There is no reason to hide it. I tell Jake that I love him all the time. It doesn’t take away from the importance of it. I don’t just say it, I mean it.

Each and every single time.

Previously? Letting Go.