I’ve always been a curious person. My mother used to tell me that as a kid I asked questions non-stop. Her friends asked her why she kept replying to me instead of telling me to lay off the questions. But she never did. She is a real patient mother.
I don’t do something unless I can see the logic behind it. In my household, all rules were explained as opposed to forcefully applied. Since I was a pretty responsible little kid, I never had a curfew. I went to an all women’s high school where I was on debate teams. I’ve just always been in a position where I feel comfortable backing up my actions and choices and thoughts. Mostly cause I spend time thinking of my choices and have reasons for my decisions. It could even be safe to say that I spend too much time thinking about them.
For this reason, when challenged I tend to be too head strong. I feel like I can justify myself and I expect others to back up their arguments, too. When Jake and I fight and I say something, I can always spew out a million examples to make sure he understands where I’m coming from. But I’m sure he hates it.
At work, timid people think I am overwhelming cause I like to explore an issue before I make a decision and I am generally adamant about my opinion and like for others to prove me wrong before I change my mind. For confident and intelligent people, that’s not a problem. They tell me what a moron I am and why my idea is totally wrong. I really like that. I have no problem being told that I don’t know the right answers, I just want the other person to prove me wrong. I want them to have thought about it, too. I want them to challenge me not to tell me what to do for the sake of it. If the highest manager in my area says I have to do something and I think it’s a stupid suggestion, I don’t shy away from telling him. I’m not usually rude about it, but I also don’t nod and go to a corner and do as he said. And it says so much about my boss that he doesn’t fire me. Actually he’s mentioned that he likes that about me.
The problem is that I don’t like the idea of the other people (the ones who don’t feel comfortable yelling back at me) to think that I am not open to listening to their suggestions. Cause I am. The only way one can learn is by listening to other people. I just want them to explain how and why they reached that opinion and in most cases they either don’t know or they don’t want to share.
Or maybe I’ve managed to scare the crap out of them.
Previously? Changes Abound
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