Something slightly different. Not sure how I feel about this photo but here we are.
Quiet day today. I am learning to be more and more peaceful every day. Working really hard on not freaking out. With work and with home-related things. Trusting that things work out somehow or another. Here are a bunch of photos from our day.
Nathaniel loves playing with David’s toys.
And the remotes.
And he loves looking at the TV when he turns it on. And I love looking at his lips and fingers and face.
He was being whiny this afternoon as David and I did some workbooks, so I put him on the couch next to David.
He immediately reached for the workbook (and pencil).
David, nicely, locked arms with him to block him lovingly. Isn’t he awesome?
And he also loves this toy I got for David years ago where it has different switches you twist and press and lift etc which opens these doors and animals pop out. He can’t open them but loves closing them. So he closes them and then shrieks until I open them back up again. And again and again.
Lovely day. I am trying to do my updates earlier so I can have time in the evenings to read and work and relax. Also gives me something happy to do during the 4-6 timeslot that I am not a fan of so win-win.
Note to Self:
I am working hard to learn to let go of things. To learn to realize that most things don’t matter. It’s not worth arguing. It’s not a big deal if a friend isn’t reading my blog. If my son spilled some crumbs. If Nathaniel skips a nap. If my hubby leaves something around instead of cleaning it up. These are small things and while they might be slightly frustrating, they don’t mean anything. They are not secret signs of bigger things. I am working hard not to make stories around them or get carried away. I think it’s better and easier to live this way. I want to work on this more and more. Sometimes I catch myself too late but still better to be mindful too late than not at all, right?
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am trying to enjoy this calmer, more relaxed attitude. Hopefully it won’t bite me.
2. I am grateful for my upcoming book club meeting.
3. I am grateful for David who helps me so much with Nathaniel and with the house.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Daddy and Nathaniel and Mommy, my whole family.
2. Playing with and getting presents from my family.
David is so very patient with his brother. I can see by his expressions that he is often not happy with the way Nathaniel gets in with him and his stuff, but he is always gentle and kind. What a sweetheart! As for the little things, yes, some days it’s easier to let them go. I try to think (quickly) when something happens like you mentioned, is it going to matter tomorrow? or in an hour? I decided that my house is lived in, it’s not a showcase (far from it!). It’s important to keep a certain amount of decorum (read: control) but it’s more important to be patient with my son and to emulate that than the freaking out about crumbs (I do it too, especially when I’ve just cleaned up). As for friends reading your blog – sometimes that feels weird to me, but I try to think that maybe it’s just not their thing, maybe they don’t want to know the things that run around in my mind, or maybe they are just plain busy and doing their best to keep up with their day to day lives. I have a meditation practice that is my own combination of zazen and metta, I spend a minimum of 10 minutes morning and night doing that and I find it calms my mind. I think you can invent your own way to center yourself, but it’s the practice of it, the making it as important or more important than other things that is the struggle, a struggle that is worth it. Have a great day, Karen!
that’s a good way to think “is it going to matter tomorrow” I like that. thank you. i am going to karen’s retreat next week let’s hope i can learn enough to take a little zen practice home with me.
Dear Karen,
You wrote “…I am working hard not to make stories around them or get carried away. I think it’s better and easier to live this way. I want to work on this more and more. Sometimes I catch myself too late but still better to be mindful too late than not at all, right?”
And I just want to say YES. yes!
This is not easy work, but it’s rewarding, I promise. Be gentle with yourself along the way and know that I’m here.
xoxo
k.
thank you! And I am here, too, reading you every time. so happy for your new job 🙂
Hi Karen,
Oh, you’re getting it! Letting go, not allowing little frustrations eat away at you is SO key to getting to the place in life I see you striving for. The key phase for this, with kids and husbands, is pick your battles. What’s nice for me reading your blogs is that I’m about 15 years older than you, and I let this stuff go when I was your age myself. (Also, I had my daughter very early, so you are about the age of my children.) You saw two important things this week, between the idea of letting the little things go, and your next post where you realize that sleep is so important. I really wish I could live on less sleep, but I just can’t, and once you realize that and make sleep a priority, you get so much more done during the day, and you enjoy it so much more. So Bravo Karen! You are making great progress in learning who is in charge of your happiness. Have a great weekend, and follow through on your commitment to get some sleep!
thank you for your kind words. i am such a work in progress….got a long way to go 🙂