Last of my nature photos; I’m going to have to go take some photos tomorrow.
I thought today would be a good day to get Nathaniel to try pasta for the first time. David still doesn’t eat any pasta or rice and I wanted to make sure Nathaniel has a chance to try it all before he’s too old to be open-minded. I had some Spiderman pasta I’d bought for David so I cooked it for him. I tried giving it to him one at a time but he wouldn’t take it so I just plopped the whole bowl on his tray.
He stared for a while and then reached for one.
Stuck it in his mouth.
Chewed for a while.
And then wasn’t so happy.
But thankfully he continued. And I kept watching him and letting him try things. Until he picked up the bowl.
Which meant bowl-time was over and I tried a fork. But that wasn’t so successful either. He ate a few more and then we decided it was time to put it away and try more again tomorrow.
And here’s a cutie shot just for me.
He’s still dripping. After all I wrote yesterday, I sat and did an art journal page last night and it was so much fun. I loved it. It made me happy. I even played around with one today and started journaling, too. Still feeling a bit iffy but I am happy to be dipping my toes in.
A completely uneventful day here. Tomorrow David’s school starts back up and with Nathaniel’s new nap schedule it promises to be a bit disaster-ish. But I will keep an open mind and see how it goes.
Note to Self:
I noticed today that my desire to belong extends to my hobbies as well. I had been struggling so hard with scrapbooking and my place in it for the longest time. Which is a bit ridiculous since it’s a hobby. But when I get really involved in the community surrounding my hobby, I suddenly feel the need to fit in. To become a bigger part of the community. When I joined AMM, I quickly needed to be on the Design Team which would make me feel a greater sense of belonging. Years ago, when I wrote novels, I used to be a part of this community called Writers’ Village University (I am still a part of it now. Lifetime member.) and even there, I quickly needed to belong. I wasn’t just a member. I worked on their magazine. I wrote and taught classes. I did the same at AMM and then BPS and I even taught elsewhere. I applied for Manufacturer Design Teams. I wanted to write books. I wanted to belong. The need to belong is so acute in me. The need to be accepted, chosen, picked. And it’s pretty insatiable. I wanted to teach at BPS so badly. It was a dream come true for me. Still is. And yet I still get sad that I don’t get published in magazines or get picked for design teams. (To be fully honest, I haven’t applied in a year but back when I was, I didn’t get picked at all.) And yet, I know that most people I know who are on teams are overworked and frustrated and do not really really enjoy it. And I know that it would stress me out. It might even make me feel inauthentic. I don’t want to scrap for the product, I want to scrap for my stories. My life. My kids. And yet, the need to belong is overwhelming. Insatiable. It spreads all over my life.
Today, I thought about all this again. About my motivations behind things. About whether I can ever scrap just for myself again. Can I stop needing to belong? I belong with such good friends already. An incredible husband. Amazing kids. Loving and generous parents and sister. A fantastic job. Do I really need to create all this drama around my hobbies? Things I’m supposed to be doing for fun. I don’t know how to do this. But I know that I need to. This is about being mindful after all. I am open to suggestions.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am thankful for the small piece of art I did last night. Seeing it made me smile this morning.
2. I am thankful for getting to read to David tonight. I tend to want to rush bedtime routine and don’t always enjoy my time but tonight we snuggled into bed and I read the Polar Express to him. I know it doesn’t seem that way but I also know that my days of getting to read stories to him, snuggled up in bed are numbered and I am deeply thankful for them.
3. I am thankful for spending the whole day in my pajamas. I had absolutely no errands or chores today and I sat and worked and played with my kids.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Getting to level 3 in his Batman Didj game.
2. He couldn’t think of a number two as we didn’t do a whole lot today but then I told him he can pick general things too so he said he’s thankful for his Daddy. (not for you, Mommy, he added, oh so nicely.)
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