UNRAVELING – GOODBYE TO 2022

As always, I want to start by saying that this is going to be a long post. These reflective posts are how I make sure to live my life intentionally. They matter to me and I love being able to look back on them in future years. I know that this might not be interesting to many (if not any) of you, so please feel free to skip it. If some of you find it interesting, all the better.

This particular exercise is following Susannah Conway’s Unraveling 2023 sheet. You can download it right here. I split the reflective questions looking back on 2022 in and the questions to help clarify goals/dreams for 2023 into two posts. This is part I, part II comes next week. All questions are Susannah’s and are copyrighted to her.

Before we start unraveling 2023, let’s take a moment to look back over the last twelve months.  How has this year been for you? Pick up your pen and let’s do some digging. 

1. First of all, did you have a word for 2022? Joy
2. If you did, how did your word help to guide you through the last 12 months? Can you think of  any specific examples? It helped me spend more time doing things that give me joy. I also surrounded myself with objects that give me joy. It was a great anchoring word.
3. What did you embrace in 2022? I embraced being here with what’s here. Spaciousness. I gave up both control and codependency as much as I could. I accepted my people as who they are and tried to love and support them.
4. What felt uncomfortable in 2022? So much. I decided to leave my role at work for another role. It was a huge decision and very uncomfortable. I continued to support my husband through his difficult journey. I took 3 months off work to take care of myself and my wellbeing. Both of my kids had important personal journeys. My new job came with a lot of drama. All of these were uncomfortable.
5. What changed for you in 2022? I read the co-dependency book which considerably changed my thinking. I also had a major moment around August where I realized everything in my life was icing from here onward and that all I wanted to do was love my people. I changed jobs and remembered that work is not my identity. I let go of trying to control outcomes. I let go of trying to predict the future. I embraced who my kids are. I embraced my husband’s struggles. I expanded and felt spacious and at peace for the first time ever in my life.
6. What did you discover about yourself in 2022? I discovered that I love my people with all my soul and loving them means letting them be who they are and cheering them on. 
7. What new dreams did you uncover in 2022? I wrote this last year: “My biggest dream has always been to be able to live with peace and ease and I think this is the year I’ve come closest to it.” And this year I feel like I’ve come even closer. I feel so grateful. I also spent a lot of time painting and drawing this year and that is a big dream for me too.
8. When did fear hold you back in 2022? Less so than before. I notice the fear rising more often now and can respond instead of react. I am proud of myself.
9. Where did you practice courage in 2022? I practiced it again and again. I let go of my fear of how things will turn out or what others will think. I had faith this year. I trusted myself. I showed up to my life again and again despite being deeply scared and despite so much unknown. I just continued to show up. I am proud of myself.
10. What surprised you in 2022?  Peace. Spaciousness. It is the most wonderful feeling to let go of scarcity and to have inner peace. 
11. What was the best day in 2022? What happened? The day that I realized that I had accomplished everything I’d wanted in my life and that I was in fact deeply content and thankful and that everything from here onward was icing on the cake. That day completely freed me.
12. What was the most difficult day in 2022? What happened? There were many, many hard days in 2022. So much unknown and unpredictability. Work continued to be hard, home was hard. There was so much uncertainty in 2022. So many low points for the people I love. So much of not being seen or appreciated. But I survived them all.

Pandemic Reflections: Year 3 

1. I don’t think anyone thought the pandemic would have magically resolved by the end of 2022.  Things have been shifting and changing, but the majority of us are still living with restrictions.  BUT! We’ve made it this far! If you’re anything like me you’ve likely been reflecting on what  matters and what doesn’t. How has the pandemic impacted your life thus far? I wanted to keep this for one more year. I got covid in January. My kids still wear masks everywhere. Pandemic left my husband deeply scarred. I still prefer to work at home. And I still prefer to be at home in general.
2. What have you learned about yourself during this entire experience?  I learned that people experience things differently. We observe the world and internalize information with our own filters. There isn’t as much “truth” as there is our own interpretations. This is important to remember because when I am certain something is true, I am likely to be wrong. My lens impacts my world. And I get to choose the lens I wear. 
3. Write down everything that’s helped you get through the year. Consider: new routines,  boundaries, connections with others, online community, new things you tried, things you read,  places you visited, new perspectives. I’ve done so much this year, here are some things that helped:
   1. I really didn’t spend as much outdoor time as I would have liked this year but I did buy twinkly lights for the living room.
   2. Did a lot of watercolors.
   3. Did a lot of exercise.
   4. Did a lot of climbing.
   5. Did a lot of drawing and journaling
   6. Did a lot of reading.
   7. Saw a lot of friends..
   8. Got us all vaccinated and boosted..
   9. Gave myself grace again and again.
4. Note: With these next three questions there is absolutely no judgement here, so try to answer  honestly so you can identify any areas that need tending to! How have you taken care of yourself physically? My exercise declined a lot this year, especially in the second half. Even though I likely did 16K or so, I didn’t climb as much and didn’t exercise as rigorously as last year.
5. How have you taken care of yourself mentally? I did daily mediation and still have a coach and a therapist. I journaled.
6. How have you taken care of yourself emotionally? Same as above. 
7. What have you missed this year? I missed traveling. 
8. What haven’t you missed? Commuting to work.
9. What new ways of seeing the world have you discovered?  I have become more spacious and calmer and more able to see/sit with others’ pain without getting triggered by it. I’ve also become less anxious during the weekend. I feel less scarcity.
10. What will you never forget? This feeling of spaciousness and groundedness, I deeply hope it is here to stay. 
11. What have you let go of? Trying to control outcomes. Trying to get too much done.
12. What feels more important than ever to you? Feeling my feelings, getting help, showing the people I love how much I love them. Being here for my people. Being kind. 
13. What now feels unimportant? What others think. Outside in. 
14. What are you ready to begin? Hanging on to the spaciousness and peace. Grace and kindness. 
15. How has this year impacted your priorities? I grew so much as a person.
16. How has this year impacted your home life? Things have slowed down. IT’s still a mess here but I love my people.
17. How has this year impacted your relationships? I managed to grow two deep friendships this year. I am very grateful for both.
18. How has this year impacted your work life? I changed jobs. I took a leave. Both of these things saved me this year.

The Gratitudes 

1. What have you been most grateful for this year? Big things, little things, the profound and the  everyday, what are you grateful for?
   1. Grateful that my sickness was very mild and no one else got sick.
   2. Grateful that we are all still together and hanging on to each other.
   3. Grateful D’s college applications and essays are done.
   4. Grateful that A made even more new friends and has been socializing more and working on finding who they are.
   5. Grateful for a new job and a very supportive manager.
2. Gentleness alert! Did anything happen in 2022 that needs to be forgiven? Maybe it was  something someone did or said to you. Maybe it was something you did or said to someone else  — or to yourself? Maybe you feel you let yourself down in some way. Here’s the thing — we are  all beautifully fallible human beings doing the best that we can with the tools that we have, so  where can you give the gift of forgiveness to yourself or to another?  This was a tough year. So much struggle for me and people I love. There has been so much unknown and so much I can’t control. It was a tough year and I give myself endless grace for continuing to make it through and getting stronger and kinder and growing so much. 

The Gifts of 2022

1. I now invite you to close your eyes for a moment and think about 2022 as a whole. As you cast  your mind back over the year, consider the gifts that 2022 offered you on your life’s journey…  What stands out the most? What really mattered?
   1. The time off and medication really changed my life.
   2. I helped David with his essays.
   3. I quit my job and took 3 months off and started a new job.
   4. I learned how to do watercolor landscapes.
   5. I journaled. .
   6. I went climbing with Jake regularly. 
   7. I read 250+ books
   8. I gave myself grace, let things go
   9. I documented our lives, did OLW and WIL.
   10. We got more shots, more vaccines.
   11. Kids continued to do incredibly well at school with loving friends.
   12. I stuck by my people and worked hard at loving them.
   13. I deepened two of my friendships considerably.
   14. I showed up for my life. I loved myself. I was kind. I did the best I could. 
   15. David got into college!
2. Describe 2022 in 3 words: challenging, spacious, growth.
3. If the events of 2022 were made into a film or a book, what would it be called? And finally.
4. Before we finish with 2022, take a few minutes to write out anything else you need to say to  the old year in the space below. You might like to say some final goodbyes and thank yous…Dear Karen, I am really proud of all the work you’ve done this year. I am proud of how you stuck with it. Got the help you needed. Took care of yourself. Stood by your people. Learned to let go and sit with uncertainty.  You are so strong and kind. Remember this feeling of spaciousness, it’s how you’re meant to feel. Remember what matters most. Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. I love you.

THANK YOU 2022 YOU ARE NOW COMPLETE!