Women and Bondage

I’ve never really been into bonding with women. Just not my thing and until this very night, I don’t think I could put my finger on the reason.

My firm just had a shinding for women in technology, in the firm. Imagine a fancy restaurant setting, filled with middle aged women, trying to form networking and mentoring relationships with each other.

I’m not saying that networking or mentoring are bad concepts. I just think that they can’t be administered like that. You can’t put a bunch of people in the same room and tell them to network. At least, not me. I don’t perform well on demand.

Even if we were to take the personal aspect of mentoring and networking out of the diagram, who is to say I want a female mentor? I think the assumption that just because I am a woman only other women can mentor me is a condescending assumption. Especially when talking about career issues, I can imagine many men who are more similar in thought to me than women. Not to say there aren’t issues which are specific to women, but assuming women make the best mentors for other women is wildly wrong if you ask me.

Maybe my impressions are overpowered by the fact that I feel women are inherently cattier and more conniving then men. Whatever that says or doesn’t say about men’s level of intelligence or calculating nature, it does say that sometimes men are more trustworthy then women.

Most of the women managers I’ve known are much less self-confident and secure. Many of them couldn’t care less about your career goals or lack thereof.

I’m not trying to say that there are no women who’d make great managers and mentors. One of my favorite managers in the firm is a woman. She’s a great mentor to me cause she took the time to get to know me and tries to make sure I am on the path to my goals. She doesn’t feed me her lifestyle. She doesn’t fear I’m going to take her job. She is just there for support and she is my cheerleader in the firm. And I appreciate it immensely and I talk about her everywhere.

So we both network through each other and she is one of my mentors. But none of this has to do with the fact that she’s a woman in technology and therefore understands me and where I’m coming from.

It only works cause caring for me and helping me out is something she wants to take the time to do. And those connections cannot be made at an administered event.

Previously? Antsy.