I took a long walk this morning to get the ranunculus from the farmer’s market. When I got back home, I was quite sore and didn’t feel like doing anything else for the day.
Even though I read a book I loved, I was secretly still giving myself grief for not riding the bike or doing other productive things. And this doing thing x but giving myself nonstop grief for not doing y, thing is super annoying.
Because it means I am not getting to enjoy the thing I am doing and I am not doing this other supposedly better thing. So there’s no winning.
I have no idea what the way out of this is. Well I know one way is to just do the other thing and be done but what I don’t know how to do is to truly give myself grace and let myself enjoy doing thing x without any of the guilt.
Alas today I did read the book despite feeling crappy about it, and then I also ended up riding the bike after all. Just wish I hadn’t chastised myself all day secretly while I was resting first.
Yes to being aware of negative voices and cycles. Yes to doing things anyway.
#yearofyes #karenikayearofyes
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