People We Choose

At a quick glance, the men I’ve been with have nothing in common.

People say who you hang out with says a lot about who you are. In that case, I assume whom you date says even more. As opposed to our family, we choose our friends and significant others.

Including Jake, I’ve had four men in my life. Each had different heights and weights, with different colored hair and eyes. Different economic and religious backgrounds. Different family structures. Different levels of intelligence and motivation.

There are commonalities. Three of them had colored eyes and wore glasses. Three of them were scrawny and tall. Not that these things matter. Their personalities were each completely different. Most people who’ve met all four are quite confused at my lack of consistency.

But not me.

When I think of these men, I can tell exactly why all three were able to capture my heart.

They made me laugh.

I’m not sure why other people choose partners, but I tend to pick people that I think complement me. I look for happy men who will push me to try different things. I pick men who are more comfortable in their skin. I figure if I choose someone exactly like me, not only would it be no fun, but I wouldn’t be able to grow.

The men in my life have all introduced new worlds to me. They made me see issues from a totally opposite perspective. They made (and continue to make, in Jake’s case) life delightfully interesting.

When I choose friends, I tend to do a little bit of both. I have really close friends who have a similar background, value structure and family life to me. I also have friends who challenge my thought process, my beliefs, my lifestyle and my choices. If I surround myself only with people who agree with me, I don’t believe I’d realize my mistakes as quickly. But all my friends have the same sense of loyalty to friendship as I do.

I think the people we choose to be with does say a lot about who we are and who we strive to be and with whom we are willing to associate.

Look at your life. Are all your friends the same? Why did you pick the people in you life? What do they have in common?

It’s always good to know.

Previously? At the Movies.