In my house, we had no unexplained rules. My parents often had decent reasons for the household rules and any new ones had to be justified. It might seem condescending to imply that my parents had to back up their decisions but I believe their behavior instilled very sound seed in my and my sister’s personalities.
I’ve always tried to have sound reasons for my actions. More importantly, I’ve always paid attention to the reasons behind my actions. Before I did something, I’d think about why I wanted to do it. As an overly emotional person, I know it’s extra crucial for me to make sure I stop and think before I act or decide.
But this is not about whether I think before I do or not. It’s more about for whom I do it.
I’ve met many people who make decisions based on other people’s criteria. People who choose careers because of popular demand. People who wear a certain type of clothing cause their crowd thinks highly of them. People who decide to lose weight cause someone makes a comment. People who move to another part of the world to follow a person they love. People who change their personality to fit in better.
I’m sure most of us are guilty of one kind of such decision making at one point in out lives. Fitting in is such an integral part of living in a society.
Having said that, I also hope that we all grow up and figure out our mistakes. The fact is doing something for others is never a good idea. In some cases it’s a blaming disaster waiting to happen, in others, it’s even worse.
I have friends who have chosen their college majors on what their families decided for them. They finish college and a few years later, they finally face the fact that they never wanted to do this in the first place. Now at a minimum four years of life has been lived satisfying their parents’ wishes, possibly even more. These people consistently have a hellish time trying to figure out what they want at that point, cause they never thought about it when other people were busy doing so.
In the cases where people follow a loved one around the world or change weight/hair/clothing for others, all it does is mask the actual issue. And by the time, the person realizes what’s going on, it becomes the other party’s fault, ruining the entire relationship.
You should do things for yourself. Pick a career you know would make you happy. Or meet your goals whatever they might be. Lose weight cause you are ready to and you want to. Change your hair color cause you want to try something else, not cause your friend said you’d look better blonde. This way not only will you think about your actions more, but you’ll be secure with your decisions.
And you’ll have no one to blame.
Oh, and, hi Ryan! =)
Previously? Nice People.
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