I used to be one of those girls who brag about not being friends with women.
Well, I didn’t brag, really, but I would always point out that I have much closer male friends than female ones. I grew up with discouraging female friends. All the women around me were catty and self-centered and shallow. To be honest, so were the men. But as soon as I broke off from that crowd, I consistently picked men as best friends.
By high school, I had a few female friends, but with the exception of one, I had problems with all. I don’t know if it’s due us being the same gender and thus allowing for more comparisons, but I still thought that women were less trustworthy. A few of the women whom I considered close friends have regularly, over the years, let me down when I least expected.
I’ve considered women as more calculating, more out-for-herself type and backstabbing. God forbid anyone who stands in the way of a woman who’s determined to reach a goal. Even if that person is her supposed best friend.
I’ve had close friends date my exes, bash my boyfriend to his face, talk bad things behind my back and just be outright cruel at times.
A male friend has never done any of those things to me.
My male close friends, and I’ve had quite a few, have mostly been less intense and generally couldn’t relate to certain “female” issues I had, but overall they were more reliable, a whole lot more fun and less likely to ditch me when they found a significant other.
Today, my closest friend is Jake, but other than him, I have friends of both genders. I’ve realized that different genders offer different benefits and points of view to my life. Depending on what my problem is, I reach out to whomever I believe will support me and whomever will give me good insight.
I’ve stopped believing that it has anything to do with gender. People are just people. There are women who make crappy friends and women who make fantastic ones. A woman who might be a terrible fit for me, could easily be the best buddy of someone else. Same goes for men. I don’t think only being friends with the opposite gender makes me sound cool.
At least, not anymore.
I think it makes me sound immature.
Previously? First One.
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