Mondays at 3:45 I was supposed to take a class in Introduction to Theories of Learning. I thought the psychology class would give me a little insight into education theories, but obviously others didn’t. I got a call on Thursday to inform me that the class was cancelled.
Since I cannot not take a class, I went through the catalogue and picked the only other class offered at the same time. Another psychology course: Pursuing Happiness. Actually it’s a mixture of psychology and philosophy. As part of the teacher’s survey of the students, he asked us to write our theory of happiness on the back of an index card.
He said that, in his opinion, everyone has a theory on happiness, on what makes someone happy, what we need to do to be happy. He claimed that people develop this very early on and internalize it. So I thought about mine.
I’ll tell you what I wrote on the index card. My theory of happiness is that for a person to be happy, first the ‘big’ things have to be in place. The big things are: health, financial security, physical safety, etc. You might have other big things or consider some of the ones I mention as not important, but this is my list, so I’m talking about mine.
I think that if you’re not healthy, it becomes very difficult to appreciate other aspects of life. Yesterday, I threw out my back and have been in acute pain since, and it has overshadowed all other good things in my life.
Assuming the big things are in place, happiness is celebrating the little things. Most major accomplishments take time, so it’s crucial to notice and celebrate minor accomplishments. Happiness is noticing details and appreciating life’s little delights. Happiness is accepting others as they are. And accepting yourself as you are while trying to better yourself according to your own standards. It’s minimizing the stumbling blocks while maximizing the celebrations of good events. Knowing that life is not a means to an end, but a journey.
That’s what I wrote, give or take a few words.
I’ve been thinking about it since the class. What makes people happy? There are fatalistic theories of life is life and we let it work without struggling too much. Then there are others who believe that life is what you make it and you create your own happiness or lack thereof.
Some people say money makes them happy, but often, those people spend their whole life making the money and no time enjoying it. Do they just like to say they have it or are they doing it as a means to an end? The problem with having big goals (like being rich) is that they are often not well defined (how much money exactly) and they take too long to achieve. What makes me happy often is having a sense of self-accomplishment and self-growth, being loved, loving, and being hugged.
I don’t exactly know what my theory of happiness is, I’m still working on developing it. Maybe this class isn’t going to be so useless after all.
What’s your theory of happiness?
Previously? Thirteen.
I think there are different levels of happiness. Like you say, when the “big” things are in place there is a basic level of contentment, a freedom from anxiety. There are moments of pure joy too that can happen anytime, even when you’re feeling miserable, like hearing your child chuckling away at something funny or seeing them achieve something they’ve been working hard at. I’m not even sure that “happiness” is the right word – it’s too broad and can mean so many different things to different people. It includes contentment, joy, fulfillment, ecstasy, laughter, lack of anxiety. I don’t think we can have all of these parts of happiness all the time and that if we had them all the time happiness would become boredom.
french fries. no question about it.
Thanks a lot for asking this question. At the moment and I’m not really happy (lot of stress). I defined for myself that happiness starts with a clean desk and a clean inbox next Friday afternoon. Thanks for giving me some food for thinking.
Pfew. On some days I know and on some days I don’t have a clue. Equanimity. Excercise, both physical and mental. Good weather. Good books. Nice people. And some peace and quiet. But even when I have all that I sometimes get so sad or so angry and depressed. Maybe they offer that class of yours over here as well?
Truely speaking happiness is mostly relative. As the same event can make you happier on a day and the same event may be a normal thing for you. It is mostly relative to the current situation. How worse off or better off you are at any given point of time.
By the way thanks for making me think about it.