Living

It’s like this.

Since September, I’ve been struggling to keep writing. Not because I don’t want to, but because most of the topics I used to find interesting don’t seem to be anymore, at least not to me. I’m sure things will eventually work themselves out and I will find the time and energy to ponder random things once again, but till then I apologize for the lack of consistent updates, especially in my side sections like tidbits, learned things, and aiptek pictures.

I spend many nights sitting at my laptop trying to will myself into writing, but I can’t. I don’t even want to sit at home anymore. I want to go out, be with people. Somehow remind myself that life is going on, in its charming, annoying, delightful, fun and sad ways. I want to talk until I’m blue in the face, I want to listen until I’m falling asleep. I want to laugh and hug.

At the times I don’t crave human attention, I long for the opposite. I take a good book and curl up or turn the TV up all the way, enough to block my thoughts. Part of me wants the days to pass and another part wishes she could stop time. There are moments I want to hang on to badly.

As if to reassure me, my laptop broke yesterday. I was trying to take out one of the books it’s stacked on and I dropped it, causing the A/C adapter to split in half, inside the machine. I spent all of yesterday running from uptown to downtown, trying to replace the part, only to find out that it’s not possible. I have to order it directly from Toshiba. At night, when I finally collapsed on the couch, I ordered the part and decided to relax. It’s amazing how stressed a tiny glitch can make me at times. Yet when the world falls apart around me, I manage not to freak out.

So I might not write very often lately. If you like my site, take this as an opportunity to explore the archives. I’ve got a lot of words on this site and I guarantee they’d keep you busy for quite some time. I will be writing again real soon, I’m sure. Knowing me, I’ll even update tomorrow, after having said all this. But it’s important to say it anyhow. This way, when I look back years later, I can remember why.

Just a little down time.

I want to temporarily stop thinking so much and start living more.

Previously? Tidbits of Conversation.