I’ll admit, I’ve been a bit down lately. Lack of sleep will do that to you. And the thing with being down is that it goes into a spiral. The more you’re down, the more down you get. Everything suddenly looks blacker and it just self-perpetuates from there.
So, since I’ve been on this negative bend lately, everything seems to be getting to me. One of those things, the topic of our day, is the blogs I read. It appears that everyone in the world (in the blogosphere) is having a perfect life (besides me). I had the same problem when David was 3 months about how I just can’t take this perfection anymore. It’s like a disease.
I know that blogs are selective sharing. The weird thing about it is that people tend to share just enough that you feel like you know them. You feel like you get a glimpse into their lives. Personal lives. Yet, you totally don’t. You only know what they choose to share. The way they choose to share it. You think you’re friends with this person. But you are not. You’re really just one of the voyeurs into the person’s life. The part of their life they put up for the world to share.
While I know all this, it’s all too easy to distort this reality. Especially on a day when you’re seeing it all through negativity-tinted glasses. I read these blogs. I read about their perfect lives. Their perfect children. Their perfect jobs. Houses. Husbands. Friends. Weather. You name it. It’s perfect. And I crumble to pieces. I wonder why mine can’t be so perfect. Why doesn’t my kid sleep? What am I doing wrong? And the guilt and loneliness just swallows me up.
Funny thing is, blogs are supposed to be about connection. Or so I think. And I understand the urge not to write the bad stuff. Who needs their laundry aired in public? Especially when it’s cached forever. I get this. I swear I do. Yet I can’t stop myself from the despair I feel when I read the perfect entries. I don’t know that there’s a solution. I just know that maybe it’s time for me to walk away from reading them for a while.
Just in case anyone out there is reading my blog and thinks my life is perfect, I want you to know it’s not. I have a lot of wonderful things and I am truly thankful for so many of them. I appreciate it all. But it’s not perfect. I have days where: I get depressed. I fight with my husband. I get impatient with my kids. I don’t clean up the messes in my house. I fail at my job. I cry. I have all sorts of bad days. They come, they go. Sometimes they stay longer than I want them to. In the end, I am thankful for all that I have and I think most of the time the good days far outweigh the bad ones but I want to make sure you know that there are plenty of bad ones.
That’s just how life is.
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What I Hate About Reading Blogs11 comments to What I Hate About Reading BlogsLeave a Reply |
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i agree. completely. my life is pretty hard and crappy right now actually…hence the lack of blogging from me. one of the main reasons i am considering going private…so i can share more than i feel like i can right now.
hang in there karen…
I totally agree with you on the perfect blogs. I know my life is not like that all – it can be hectic with kids and husband, but I am thankful for them. Thank you for being so honest. Hang in there you will get to sleep all night soon.
i think that’s exactly why i haven’t gotten a good flow to content for my blog, because i try not to share too much of my personal life, but it’s often a lie to pretend i care about writing about other things when i have this tough stuff screaming at me. i love this post, it’s so funny i stumbled on it looking through old bookmarks- i was just thinking about the same thing as far as honesty and how people’s lives look in their wonderful blogs, and wondering if or how it could help me to write honestly about some of the stuff going on with me. thank you for being honest!
I could have written this exact post if I blogged. Currently I am very overwhelmed with life and why can’t I just have a pitty party for myself and not feel guilty about it. Yes I am gratiful for things but why do I always have to be so gratful – okay I think I need to do this for your class (telling stories deeply) and write about my pitty party week – You are so inspiring.
You are not alone and other people don’t have perfect lives either. Most people just go quiet when the times are tough. My life also isn’t perfect, but this week has been good – last week, not so much.
The treasure is to find the good in amongst the mess, lack of sleep and bad days. My children are older now (16, 13 and 9) in my mind those days of when they were small are remembered with pleasure, the bad things almost forgotten. The pleasure of sleeping through outweighed by the grumpiness of a disturbed night.
Thanks for sharing with us and for allowing us to encourage you too.
Hey Karen,
Maybe you’re reading the wrong blogs! *hug* I’ve read blogs where what you’ve said is the case, but I’ve also read blogs where the writer is brutally honest about life. A lot of those are protected blogs, btw.
I have a blog for personal stuff, which is protected. Then I have my business blog and my art blog and the blog my husband and I have for our family and friends who live far away. Each has a different tone and focus.
What you’re feeling sounds like what I feel like when I think back to when I was a kid. I thought life would be like “Happy Days” when I got older. It never was and it never will be. It is what you make it.
hang in there.
Tracey
Er … maybe those happy, perfect blogs are just a front, a wish for happiness and perfection so they blog like it’s real?
Sorry, haven’t come across such blogs. Mine’s not perfect, but a mix of happy and not-so-happy.
I have credited you with my blog post today and would encourage you to follow the links I have there to see that some of us do tell it like it is.
I’ve been reading and following you for the last week or so. We all have crap times in our lives, where you just don’t want to get up in the morning. Having a baby and a young child is challenging on it’s own, without having to work, run a home, be a good wife etc etc.
Go with the feelings. Be down and miz. and this too shall pass.
and know that there’s lots going on out there that you don’t know about.
just 2 weeks ago i blogged about how down i was – and the support i received from my blog friends bouyed me right up there.
thank you for all your kindness ladies. i am feeling a bit better today. i will checkout the sites you mention and sorry for being whiny lately.
i’m sitting here gobsmacked b/c this is exactly how i’ve been feeling this rainy/stuck inside/feeling yuck day. it started w/ wanting to pop around, find some pretty things to look at & turned into a finger pointing “why am i such a lazy mess?” day.
ugh…so annoying. but that darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable. guess i’ve got to try to hear that call of lightness that’s hard to hear 🙂
& i think, for me, that lightness comes when i turn off the static. fix my focus where it should be.
thank you for your honesty. geez i love how i always find just what i need when i need it.
xoxo
gi