Variety

They say it takes all kinds to make the world go around. I don’t know who they are but they always know what they’re talking about, don’t they?

I have two major points, both relating to the same idea and I’ll try to be quick since it’s already late and I need to sleep real soon if my back is to ever heal.

People always told me that a good marriage is based on shared likes and dislikes. I have never been married but I’ve had several long-term relationships and I couldn’t disagree more. I’ve always been fascinated by men who are my total opposites. Never much of a drinker, I’ve petty much completely given up drinking in the last nine years and all my boyfriends have been drinkers. (Actually two of them were alcoholics but that’s another story for another time) I’m both shy and outgoing, both at inconvenient times, but my favorite thing to do would be to curl up with a book. I tend to go out with men who are socially liked and active. I don’t mean to imply that I get attracted to my opposites, cause I don’t. There are many attributes my boyfriends and I share. (This entire theory goes for friendships, too. Actually, even more so.) The thing is I like to meet people who are different than I am. I like to hang out with people who have different perspectives on a certain issue than I might. I like to be around people whose passions differ widely from mine. If I only hung out with people who thought and acted just like I did, how much fun would life be? It’s only through conversations with people who avidly disagree with me that I learn to stretch my mind. I like people who challenge me. Not to imply that I like someone who has opposite beliefs to mine but has nothing to back his or her beliefs up. But if the person has a point and he or she is intelligent and coherent enough about it, I’m fascinated and thrilled to converse. I love the fact that my boyfriends and friends have opened me up to new thoughts, new hobbies and sometimes even new worlds.

Just like I disagree with the hang-out-only-with-people-like-you people, I also agree with those who say that the web is full of crap. Who are you to judge what’s crap and what’s not? Even if you are qualified in recognizing good design or correct grammar, just because a page is not designed or written up to your standards doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve to exist. If you don’t like a page, don’t visit it. If you like it, recommend it to others whom you think might also like it. I think people only judge others to feel good. If you and someone else agree that a page is crap, you two must be cool, right? I just think that the neat thing about the web (and New York and America in my opinion) is that there are a million different kinds of people who use it and they each express themselves in their own way. I think each of those pages has a valid existence and I’m glad each person has a place to share his or her thoughts/feelings/opinions publicly if they so choose. Even if I might totally disagree with that person or find their expression distasteful, that’s my opinion and I have a right to have one. I’m not saying don’t have opinions, I’m just saying use your energy to concentrate on improving/building/living your life and leave others alone and let them do whatever they want to without bashing them publicly and making them feel not-good-enough and scaring them away from ever expressing themselves again.

So it wasn’t short. But I promise both points are related in that all sorts of people exist in the world with their own likes and dislikes and that’s what makes this world a great place.

I might be influenced by my own childhood experiences, but I think that the world and the web is big enough for all of us and next time you see someone with a differing opinion to yours, maybe you should listen before you judge.

You might learn something.

Previously? Secrets.