Last week had some rough moments for me. I went through a few days where I struggled so much that I had those times where the world just looks dimmer. It doesn’t even matter what started it and what added on top, what matters is that I found myself sinking and the hole was narrow and deep.
When I find myself in one of those, it requires a lot of clawing to get out. It seems easier to give up and just sit there. Easier to just cry, yell, or unleash it on others in some way. But, of course, that doesn’t get me out of the hole and I do more damage, and continue to look at the world with the glasses that block out the joy.
This morning, as I was journaling around 5:45am, I made a decision about the next three months. I gave myself the challenge that each time anything upset me, angered me, frustrated me, or even remotely irritated me, I have to immediately stop and think of something I am truly grateful for. Not one of those general “I love my kids” or extreme “isn’t it good to have arms and legs” ones. (Not that those aren’t amazing and important but I wanted to make sure I got specific, detailed and not hand-wavy to ensure I was taking it seriously.) I have to think of a specific thing I am grateful for in that very moment that makes my life magical. That’s special and wonderful about my life. Every single time.
This is not as much to replace the “bad” thoughts as it is to balance things out. I think that I have a tendency to assume “everything is terrible!” when I get in a downward spiral. The plan is that these moments I have to take to acknowledge the good will keep me and this potential spiral in check.
I already do a daily gratitude practice but I’ve come to think of this as gratitude on steroids. Gratitude with more in-the-moment presence.
I don’t know if it will work but I am going to focus on it consistently and try to make a practice of it and let’s see what comes of it. If you’ve ever tried anything like this, I’d love to hear how it went for you.
Thoughts become things. If we’re thinking a negative and turn it into a positive, then our mood will also shift. Although I will admit there are times when that spiral makes it difficult to find something for which I am truly grateful beyond I have a roof over my head, it does work.
A practice I have recently implemented was inspired by something I had read about Thich Nhat Hanh, who recommends a process of ‘Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile.’ So when I find my mind starting to spiral downward, I focus on taking in a breath, and as I breath out, I focus on something good at that moment – similar to what you have described. If I’m bathing my daughter, I focus on her. If I’m outside walking, I focus on the beautiful world and so forth. So far this has helped me immensely in my search to find a sense of peace and contentment. Good luck to you!
Hi,
I just stumbled onto your blog/art about a month ago. You are so inspirational and have incredible talent!!! I look forward to reading your posts, each time amazed how you are able to accomplish so much; and at the same time being a loving Mother and wife. It was refreshingly honest to read about you were feeling low and how you have processed that into a really positive mental exercise. THANK YOU for sharing that and for your beautiful artistic gifts!! Your Fan, Julie
thanks so so so much for your kind words. they truly made my day!! 🙂
You know…this is something I am working on. I always assume that people I am in conflict with are thinking negative things, whereas if I would give them more credit for goodness and assume they were thinking good things, the conflict would resolve much easier. Or not even come up in the first place. Not exactly the same as your gratitude work…but similar.