Catalyst 43 – Peace

Today’s catalyst is up: Tell
us about a BIG dream you want to achieve (aim high!).



My text is right from the blog entry a few days ago:
Anyone who really really knows me would know that I am not peaceful. I
don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I’ve always felt different and
not in a good way. Like something’s wrong with me. Like I don’t belong.
Like I am not good enough. And will never be.



This is not tied to any particular achievement. I’ve achieved a lot in
my life. I’ve been really lucky and blessed to have a great education,
fantastic career, amazing and loving husband and truly the best kid in
the world. And that’s just a few of them. But this feeling of not
measuring up (to something undefined) doesn’t go away. I compare to
others constantly but only in ways where I feel like I am not as good.
Not as intelligent. Not as pretty. Not as nice. Not as talented. I can
go on and on.



So this year I decided to work on the most important concept of all (for
me.) Achieving peace and blooming into my own. This is my year to
discover and embrace who I am. Be the best of me and love it. Relax and
not criticize myself. Not compare myself to anyone. Not worry about
being not good enough. Stop and appreciate the truly amazing things in
my life. Be thankful. Shed the past and be open and welcoming to the
great future. But mostly be in the present.



God willing, I will have another baby this year and I want to make sure
my kids have a peaceful mom who is happy with who she is (flaws and
all). I want to make sure my husband has a wife who is happy. If there’s
one thing I’d like to teach my kids, it’s that it’s ok to be whomever
they are. And how better to teach it than by example?