Brave

Ever since I made this collage page for the Your Living Canvas class, I’ve been thinking about bravery and taking brave steps and being brave in general.

Here’s what I’ve come to believe….I’m going to say something controversial now. Ready?

I, think to the outside world, the difference between a brave move and a stupid one is the outcome. Society (and even we) measures bravery on how good the outcome was. If you took a big risk and moved to a new town, job, relationship and it turned out great, you were so brave! But if the outcome was less than stellar, well then you were dumb and/or didn’t think things through.

Taking a step in a new/different direction is very difficult. Our body, mind, heart and soul just want to play it safe. We like inertia. We know how things work at this moment. Even if we dislike so many parts of status quo, we know how to navigate through it. All the upsides and downsides are known.

And “known” is a good thing.

Unknown is a scary thing. The outcome is not quantifiable. There are no guarantees. There’s risk (and of course potential reward) and whenever there’s risk, there is always the possibility of undesired outcome, unexpected downside. I think almost all of us are afraid of the unknown.

I might be in a situation where I have to decide if I want to plunge forth on a decision that involves some changes. Some unknowns. I am trying my best to get reassurances that things will work out the way I want them to, but there are no guarantees. When you do something new, something you’ve never done, there are no guarantees.

To be honest, even the “knowns” are not guaranteed. Today I have a wonderful husband and two great kids, I have a job working at home, I have a home, I have hobbies, friends, etc. One or more of these things may no longer be true tomorrow. Things are not in my control as much as I’d like to think they are. So things could change tomorrow anyway. But the difference is that if I plunge forward, I will have put the changes in motion. I will be the responsible person if things don’t unfold as desired. It will be my fault. I will say “I wish I hadn’t been so stupid or greedy or selfish….” I don’t know what I’ll say but it won’t be nice. I’ll blame myself.

Whereas if things work out, I’ll be so wise! Good job doing the right thing Karen. Good job for being brave.

But of course, what’s brave is taking the step. Moving forward even though you don’t know the outcome. Thinking and feeling your way through the choices. Doing the best you can to stabilize and clarify the unknowns. And then just taking a leap.

Each leap is brave.

Regardless of the outcome. Each leap means you’re trying to grow, stretch, improve, try something new. Each leap means you’re not staying with the easy but unpleasant status quo. You’re taking charge of your life. Right or wrong. You’re doing something about it.

And that’s brave.

How it turns out? Well that’s just life. Things work out the way they do. Sometimes they don’t. And then you learn and you apologize. You eat your pride and figure out your next steps. Or maybe it’s a small adjustment. Maybe it’s the final straw to something that was fundamentally never going to work.

And sometimes things work out. And then it’s magic. You’re so glad you leapt.

No one knows what the future really holds. And we can all be geniuses in retrospect. So we all work with what we have now.

I want to practice being brave. I want to know that regardless of the outcome, I will find a way to be ok, I will survive, I will thrive. Each time I am brave, I get stronger. Each time I am brave, I learn to trust myself more. I want to remember that being brave is about taking the leap. Not about where I land.

I want to be brave.