Being Vulnerable

People often email me or leave comments about how I am so willing to show my vulnerability. The thing is, I am a firm believer in sharing vulnerability. I think that’s one of the only ways in which we connect with others. When we throw “looking good” and “being fake” out the window, then we’re left with just the bare bones of who we actually are.

And, let me tell you, we’re all flawed beings. We just are. And life complicated. It’s messy and difficult and challenging. Throw a bunch of flawed people into a complicated world, and things get even messier.

For me, this is just the reality of life.

Just like the fact that we are each magnificent and wonderful. And that life is a gift full of new surprises every day.

I think the deep lows and the huge highs are both there simultaneously for both life and for each human. There are things we are great at and things we suck and and a lot in between. And there are parts of our life that are deeply challenging and other parts that are magnificent beyond our dreams. We don’t always notice all of these things simultaneously but I truly think they are all there at the same time.

So at any moment in time, we’re struggling with something. And my bet is that someone, somewhere is struggling with the same thing. Maybe not in the exact same way, but with the same issue. And feeling crappy, worthless, and alone. Just like I am at that moment. And I find that, often times, when there’s no cure for my problem, the first thing that helps me feel better is being vulnerable. Admitting my sorrow. My weakness. I feel like as soon as I put it out there, I already feel a little better. My urge is usually to sit with my sorrow and wallow and feel alone. But it never works. It just perpetuates the thought that I should be perfect. That my flaws must mean I am unworthy.

But they do not.

Let me say that again:

my flaws do not mean that i am unworthy.

Each time the conversation in my head goes in this direction, I remind myself that I believe we’re flawed. I believe all humans are flawed. Some of us might hide it better. But it doesn’t change the facts.

And I also believe that humans are good in their core. We all wish to connect and be acknowledged and seen. So I don’t believe that my showing my weakness is going to make someone take advantage of me. Instead, it will allow someone else feeling the same way to connect. To feel less alone. To realize that there are others struggling in the same way. And if there are many of us, we can help each other. We can be strong together.

We can lift each other up.

We can remind each other that we are all worthy. All of us.

And it all starts with being vulnerable. Someone, somewhere has to take the first step.

I don’t mind doing that. I am always grateful for those who are brave around me. Those who pave the road for me. Those who stand up for things. And I think being vulnerable is one of those things. Something we all need to show more to the world. Something we all need to be more comfortable with. So that we can all realize we’re in it together.

Maybe it starts here cause I feel like people here are kind to me and don’t know me in real life so it’s safer.

Either way, a step is a step. And each step makes you braver. So I take my first steps here.

And hopefully create an environment where you can be vulnerable with me.

Together we can forgive each other, give each other strength and remind each other that we are worthy.

No matter what.