Structure, Willpower, and Stress

If you’ve been reading here with any regularity, you’ll know that I live a relatively structured schedule. I’ve always thought that the structure allows me to get more things done. As it turns out there is a correlation between “willpower” and “structure.” The more things are scheduled, the less they require use of willpower. You don’t have to motivate yourself to do it. You do it cause it’s the next thing on the schedule. This is also why “every day” works better than “3 days a week.” Because if it’s every day, you can’t put it off to tomorrow. It has to get done today and tomorrow and every other day.

I understand that structure doesn’t work for everyone. I respect that we’re different. But I also challenge you to give it a try. Pick one thing and create a schedule around it. Just for that one thing. It can work like magic. And getting to keep more of your willpower to then use on other things is just an added bonus.

Having said that, I have had times where my own schedule stresses me out. Some days, a lot of unexpected things pile up and I find that my sketch (that I usually do at 8:30am) is still not done at 6pm and I am stressing. At that point, I have two choices: I can let it go or I can let the stress go and just tell myself it’s a choice I made and it will bring me joy to sit and work on it.

Letting it go is the easy thing. Ok maybe not for me. But it still feels like the easy thing. At the end of those kinds of days, I feel wiped and frustrated and all I want is to lie on the couch and watch TV or surf the net.

But here’s the thing….

On the days when I do let it go, I am always bummed when I go to bed. I feel a small feeling of self-disappointment and a big feeling of blahs. For me, TV or net-surfing is like cool-whip (in Melody’s terms): it’s an activity void of soul-lifting. I can do it for hours and I feel just as empty (if not more) afterwards. Whereas if I do the hard(er) thing and sit at my table and sketch, within 15 minutes, I am completely engrossed and by the end I feel more fulfilled and my soul is much happier.

However, there are times when the activity I’ve put off on my schedule is not soul-restoring and/or I am truly wiped and I need to get sleep. So now we’re not talking soul-less web-surfing vs. sketching but sleep vs. something that doesn’t have to get done. It’s on the schedule cause I put it there. I would like to do it but the idea of doing it is causing me a large amount of stress or guilt when instead I really really need the sleep.

In that case, I get sleep.

As a side note, I have learned to prioritize sleep over pretty much anything. Sleep is important for my body and soul and brain.

The idea here is threefold:

1. Structure is good for you. How much structure and what to put on the schedule is up to you and make sure to keep a good balance between encouraging and suffocating.
2. Sometimes things don’t work out and your schedule goes awry. Remember that you created those activities for a reason and remember to choose what lifts your soul over the mind-numbing activities even when you feel you’re too “tired.”
3. If you’re actually tired (and not just being lazy like in step 2) then remember that you created the schedule and you can let it go. Sleep trumps pretty much everything.

Letting yourself off the hook for one day does not mean throwing the schedule out the door. Sleep, rest, and get back in the game tomorrow. We get a fresh start every day.

And if this happens a lot, review your schedule. Change it. It’s yours. It’s there to serve you. If it’s not serving you, change it.

I look at my schedule as a way to give myself permission to do the things I want to do. It’s not my chore-list. I don’t put the laundry or dishes on there. Ever. I put my own tasks. Sketching, exercising, journaling, etc. Things for my soul. In my opinion, even those things can require willpower. Putting them on the schedule gives me permission and allows me to do them without depleting my willpower.

And each time I check something off, I lift my soul up just a little bit more.