Doing It Anyway

I was reading this wonderful post by Karen Russell this morning and though several parts of the post spoke to me deeply, the part that resonated the most with me was when she wrote this:

So it really doesn’t matter what I feel, it only matters what I do.

Even though her context is different, I work hard to apply this way of thinking to my life regularly. (By the way, I loved her context too but she already talks about that beautifully so I didn’t think it needed repeating.) I am a big proponent of doing things. In one of the Soul Restoration classes, there’s a whole session called “She did it anyway” and I remember it being my very favorite week.

When we don’t feel like doing things, we tend to think that others are doing it because they “feel” better about doing it. When I didn’t exercise at all, I used to look at others and say “Well she loves running.” or “She’s so good at it, I could never do that.” on and on. I didn’t, for a second, imagine that they didn’t want to do the activity either. I can apply this to practically anything in my life. Scrapping, working, exercising, eating a good meal, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the yard, reading to my kids, playing with my kids, spending time with those I love, etc, etc.

There are certain activities I pretty much never feel like doing. Like exercising. Having done it for quite a while now, I can confidently say that exercise will not be something I look forward to or feel like doing. But it will always be something I do anyway. I won’t wait until I feel like doing it. I will just do it. Just like cleaning up the dishes or picking up a mess. It’s something I don’t like to do but I appreciate the outcome so I deal with the process. I do it for the rewards that come from having done it per se.

(I want to mention that there are other areas where the rewards are not worthwhile to me and the doing is also dreadful so I don’t do those. For example, I don’t like cooking and I do believe I can provide nutritious meals for my family without having to cook, so I don’t cook. I just wanted to make sure to highlight that there are cases when neither the work nor the outcome are desirable and it’s important to recognize those too so we can stop doing them and use our time more effectively. These items are clearly personal. A tidy house might be less important to you than a home-made meal so you spend your time cooking and I spend mine putting the dishes away. There’s no right or wrong here, just knowing what your personal preferences are and using them to make yourself happy.)

Anyhow, back to my point. I also have a list of things that I do enjoy most of the time, but only after I begin. As I’ve mentioned here before, I feel a strong sense of inertia. When I am reading, I rarely want to stop reading so I can draw. When I am scrapping, I rarely want to sit with my kids instead. There’s a strong pull to continue whatever it is I am currently doing. It doesn’t matter what the current activity is (as long as it’s something I tend to enjoy), I just don’t want to transition to another one. But I’ve learned over time that, for me, doing a variety of things each day makes me feel more fulfilled at the end of the day. I have several projects and I like to move them all forward frequently. So there are many days where I don’t feel like sketching. Or art journaling. Or sometimes even hanging out with my kids. But I don’t wait for that feeling to pass. I don’t wait to feel like doing art.

I just do it.

I tell myself it’s time to sketch. I stop what I am doing and start sketching. Invariably, about ten minutes in, I am lost in the activity and grateful I’m doing it. So much so that when I am done, I don’t tend to want to move to the next activity but just continue what I am doing. But I move on. And at the end of the day, I am always grateful.

So, I’ve learned to never wait for the feeling to be there. There are times I really feel like creating or reading, and I work hard to honor those times. But more often than not, it’s just about doing it anyway.

This applies to being kind too. And not participating in the gossip. Making healthy food choices. Not yelling. Not being sarcastic or passive aggressive. Calling someone you’ve been meaning to call. Doing something when you said you would do it. It applies to the areas of doing your share in the world like Karen’s story in her post. Being a kinder, helpful member of a family, of a society. Lending a hand when you can. Not because you’re feeling like it but because it’s the right thing to do.

I’ve learned over time that many other people don’t feel like doing it either. Do you think most writers feel like writing every single day? When you look at others without the cloudy glasses on, you can clearly see that the reason others get things done is because they are dedicated to their goal and focused on the outcome. And they certainly don’t feel like doing it all the time either. But they don’t wait until they feel up to it.

They just do.