Towards the end of 1999, I spent six months in Tokyo for work. I lived in a corporate apartment in Roppongi and walked to work each day. Every weekday I started my day with an hour-long Japanese class. By the time I came back from Tokyo, I could speak Japanese relatively well. I even took some proficiency tests. (Nothing too amazing, mind you, but just enough to get by.)
I was twenty-five.
There are several areas where people seem to think that you either have an inherent ability or you don’t. Learning languages is one of them. So are most artistic abilities. Computers, too. People often tell me that they’re just not built that way. They’re not “good” at languages or good at drawing or technical stuff. Etc.
What they really mean is: I’m too lazy to put in the work.
(I know it’s harsh. I’m sorry if I made some of you mad. Bear with me.)
The things is, yes I am good with languages maybe. I had the good fortune of growing up in a multi-lingual household. I also was required to learn languages at school. My life was surrounded by people who cared and valued language-learning skills. So they prioritized it and so did I. Maybe the early infusion helped and maybe it didn’t. But here’s the real truth about what I did to learn Japanese so late in my life.
I studied.
For hours and hours and hours.
And hours.
I spent hours memorizing the alphabets. The way to write those difficult Kanji letters. All those foreign words that meant nothing to me. I worked and worked and worked to remember them. You can make up a million reasons why it was possible for me to learn this difficult language but I know it would have never happened without all that hard work. And maybe if you didn’t study languages a lot like I had, you would need more hours than I did but the trick to making it work wasn’t my wealth of knowledge. It was mostly hard work.
The one major area my past experience did help me was in showing me that I could do it. I’d managed to learn six languages before I learned Japanese. I had proof that I could do this. Even if none of the languages correlated to Japanese in any way, I’d proven to myself that I was capable of putting the work in and getting results.
So I’ll admit that the past results gave me some confidence but the rest was all hard work. And without the hard work I would have never ever learned it.
Because of this, when people tell me “oh you’re clearly good at languages, I just don’t have that skill,” I get mad. It discounts the hundreds of hours I put in to make it work. It writes it all off with “you’re good at this.”
Same goes for art. In everything I’ve tried to do in the last few years whether it be scrapping, drawing, art journaling, painting, or photography, I’ve learned that what sets the successful people apart is the AMOUNT and KIND of WORK they put in. Maybe it’s less painful for them because they feel passionate but it’s still hours and hours and hours of practice. Same for writing. Same for programming. People only get good by working hard. (The exceptions here are super-rare. Rare enough to not be statistically significant.)
Two things happened this week to remind me of how much hard work it takes to achieve things: One, Jake sent me this video today which reminded me that the athletes work so much more than we do to keep their body in shape. They work. Because to them it’s not about losing a few pounds. It’s about getting to do their passion. So they do what it takes.
And the other one was during my I Heart Drawing class. This class is on drawing fashion figures and I am really struggling. My girls look funny. My lines don’t flow. Things just never work out the way I wish they did. When I whined about it, here’s what the amazing Jane said:
“Of course you need to practice Karenika, we all do. Of course your drawing isn’t exactly as you want it – you are learning. You are meant to be making mistakes remember?! Can I flick a switch and just transmit what I know after years and years of joyful practice?”
See what she says “YEARS AND YEARS OF JOYFUL PRACTICE.” The fact is, the frustration causes me to practice less which, of course, means I don’t improve. She’s been doing this for years. She’s been doing it diligently, joyfully and putting in her hours.
And I haven’t.
So it’s no surprise that I am not “good at this.”
As upsetting as it might be to acknowledge, I’ve come to accept that the only thing standing between me and the thing I want to learn (master, be good at, whatever.) is my willingness to practice.
To put in the time.
So well said. I agree completely! I can’t bear the way people say “wow, you have a great camera” when they see my photos – instead of “wow, you really know how to use that camera of yours!” – as you know getting to be above average at taking photos is a SKILL that takes a LONG TIME to master!!
Wow are a truly amazing person. This is one of my biggest faults, thinking that I am not good at something and just quitting. I have done this countless times with countless activities. Thanks for the reminder that the work is worth it if I will only do it!
I get mad too! I worked hard at what I have and set goals in my life and spent hours and hours getting better so I can have more. I totally understand where you are coming from. When people say to me you have everything and more. It makes me made, because I only have these things and good life because I sacrificed and worked hard. Now I know I am not the only one who thinks this way! Thanks!
Just what I needed to read today. I really like the “joyful” with the practice.
I just found your blog two days ago and several of your post have really resonated. Thanks.
Wonderful post! I love athlete video. I get frustrate that I don’t start out being great at something too. I really like the idea of calling it “joyful practice” though. Great perspective.
Just another inspirational post. I cracked open my journal today. I’m not sure if it will become an art journal of some kind, or a savor project kind of experience, but I’m just happy to be using my supplies and telling my stories and practicing my craft. Thanks!
I love love love this post! It is so true. I get frustrated when people say things like “wow you are really talented” It has nothing in my mind to do with talent but perseverance and determination-when you do something everyday you can’t help but to get better at it!!
amen!!
Definitely words of wisdom… I think this is lesson we have to teach our kids especially… because today things are seemingly so instant and “easy.” Most people don’t take the time to really learn something, they just move on!
I agree 110% with this post! And I do love the words “joyful practice” –something that I’m moving into slowly in 2012.
Again, your honesty rings true for all of us. Envy is a shocking vice and makes people say some rather silly things like wishing to be able to do ‘whatever’ it is that someone else can do ‘so easily’ (which is something they have really worked all their life to do well). Love your words.
Thank you so much for this wonderful post! When I was a young girl my father had an old guitar that I would pretend to “play”. Since then I’ve loved all types of guitar music and had dreamed of one day learning to play. Fast forward about 40 years and I had all but forgotten that dream. I finally found a classical guitar class that I could afford at the local community college. Two and a half years later I’m still learning, now taking private lessons, and have come so far. I have so much further to go and know that I will only master this wonderful skill by putting in those hundreds of hours of practice that you mentioned. Sometimes I forget that and get discouraged that I’m not where I would like to be. As a result, I procrastinate and put off practicing. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story; it was really the kick-in-the-pants (so to speak) that I needed. I hope you don’t mind that I will be borrowing your quote “The only thing standing between me and the thing I want to learn is my willingness to practice.” That is the simple, yet powerful, truth and I’m posting this in large print on the wall to help keep my goal in clear focus! Maybe a I’ll put in a copy in my guitar case, too. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Since I was young, I was led to believe that it takes talent to be able to do something. Those who could draw would be in the talented art classes and those who could play music will be on the school stage and those untalented ones like me, will be sent off to the labs hoping that maybe I can do the math and work the science. Until I read Julia Cameron’s Artist’s Way and Finding Water. A quote from her, “It is tenacity, not talent, that rules the day”. So now, I am “joyfully practicing” what I love everyday even though I don’t get paid and recognized. If only someone had told me sooner. Still, it’s never too late 🙂
Hi Karenika,
Oh, I sound like a tough teacher! I suppose I am…. I can see the brilliance even when you are not feeling it, so I need to decide for each of my students when to grab your hand and pull you to make that next step… not giving in to frustration because we are suffering from that very human (especially female!) need to be ‘perfect’… You are a talented artist and it’s so wonderful walking with you on your creative path.
xoxox
Jane
you’re one of the best teachers I’ve ever had! And considering I take 20+ classes a year, that’s saying a lot 🙂
wow, great post. I have never thought of a talent like this before but you’re right. We often use a person’s talent (any talent) as a way to dismiss all the hard work that goes into developing and growing a skill. So now, my perception is shifted. I won’t dismiss my own (or others) hard work when I’m working on something I’m good at because it still takes work to be “good” – it’s not magic. And I won’t get so frustrated when learning something new – maybe be a little easier on myself.
Thanks, Karen!
I totally agree, thank you for sharing, and it hit the spot. I was feeling sorry for my self and wondering how you manage to do all that you do, realising from one of your other posts that it’s the time you schedule and allocate to those things you say you want to do. This year I have got a range of things I want to achieve and try and targets I have set for my self, I say to my son what ever you put in you will get in return. I have always seen the break through when I’ve spent the time, and its happened when I least expect it. The course sounds great!