2011 has been a good year for me in forward-progress. I’ve spent a lot of time doing some of the things I wanted to do. I’ve focused on sketching, art journaling, exercise, and journaling. More time with my family. More productivity at work. I feel like I’ve moved forward in all those areas. I have visible, tangible proof for most of the changes.
But I still find myself struggling.
I have specific wishes in all these areas that evolve, grow, change as I work on them. For example, this past week, I decided I wanted to be able to draw my own characters in a simple, illustrative style. Like Abigail Halpin whose style just speaks to me. The thing is, I have no desire to be a children’s illustrator and I lack the years of practice (and I am guessing a lot of formal education) she has. As I’ve learned in the last two days, it doesn’t come naturally to me and I have absolutely no idea where to begin learning.
I want to work on my lettering. Even though I’ve signed up for Lori’s amazing class, guess what? It won’t work unless I practice. A lot. So what’s lacking is not my ability to write beautifully but my willingness to put the time in to practice again and again until I can do it.
I want to build firmer muscles. Not bulky ones but I’d rather exchange my flabby tummy for a firmer, stronger one. This means weights, pilates, sit-ups…Something to work on those muscles. Same goes for the rest of my body. I want to eat healthier. This means committing to learning more about food, finding things that work with my lifestyle.
I want to focus more on self-growth. This means journaling more intentionally. Finding classes, books, resources to help me more.
I’m learning something really obvious: the work is never finished. There’s always more ways in which to grow. There’s always more to learn. And everything requires time. Everything.
That’s the most difficult decision to make: where do I dedicate my precious time? What do i want to do with it? Am I doing what I want to do or what I think I should do? What I liked back then but don’t like anymore (but won’t stop?) Am I spending my time in the way that makes me happiest (most fulfilled)?
My attempts at learning to do “illustrative” sketching are abysmal enough that I wanted to walk away immediately. Just pick something else to do. Anything else. But I told myself that I will give it a month. Even if it’s a month of terrible sketches, I want to see if I can find a way to make it work. After a month of legitimate effort, if I still hate what I produce, I can walk away. I am willing to dedicate 15-30 precious minutes to this every day for a month. In exchange for possibly opening a joyful door for myself. Or maybe just proving to myself that I can.
As for the other things on my list, they will get their due, too.
But as I look forward to 2012 and plan my projects, the biggest thing on my mind is Time. Answering the most difficult question of how I want to spend my minutes.
They are so rare and so fleeting.
Have you made plans for 2012?
Funny you should ask! I have been thinking about this too, this is why I took your Time class starting in Dec. I am hoping this class helps me better plan mt time so I can grow in my journaling. I find it so hard to express in words my thoughts. Working all day, my mind by the end of the day is fried and I feel my life is all about work and limits my creative freedom. I admire the work of you and many others in the blog world. THanks for sharing!
Wow, I can relate to what you wrote. Although sometimes, it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that maybe I’m not meant to do certain things a certain way, no matter how much I practice. Or is it really just hard work that is missing…but as you have expressed, time is limited in the end… so we can’t do it all. It’s so hard to choose…and wanting to do a lot of things, I think spreads me thin, more than anything else. It’s frustrating indeed. Everyone talks of priorities, but what if you have too many dreams and hopes.
Sometimes it seems like no progress has been made, but if you compare the first attempt to your attempt today, you see the growth side and side, and that usually makes me feel happier! I’m not sure if it’s just resigning to things, to feel satisfied with a certain level of achievement, versus shooting for even higher…hmm…
Hi Karen,
could you retake your class to figure out the timing part? 🙂
you know what? I am planning to!! 🙂
Thanks Karen I do need to rethink all my priorities this time since we’ve moved it seems almost everything is different. Great reminder!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also on the lettering a piece of advice from a calligraphy teacher. Relax and put some music or something with a beat on. Only practice fifteen minutes to thirty at a time. My students couldn’t believe it when I told them this. I used to practice to the beat of the dryer sometimes when I couldn’t get anything else to work. Hope this helps.
Love your artwork.
thank you, it does help!! I am practicing but I am so bad at it!! 🙁
Karen, I have another thought on your activities for 2012 – what about your health – the jaw problems you have and how to handle stress. This was my topic for 2011 – I have NOT been able to combat the stress and find a better approach, so that I can react to it in a more caring way. Soul Restoration was a good start, but I need to revisit this in 2012.
What about you?
Best,
zewa
i think this is good. it relates a lot to my word for the year, too. thank you. i will think about it a bunch and get back to you 🙂
My “want” muscle gets plenty of exercise, but my “practice” muscle is on life support. “Practice, practice, practice”, as Mary McDonnell’s character says in ‘Sneakers”.