Too Intense

So I’ve been experiencing a new bout of giddy with
new friendship syndrome. And I was trying to remember the last time
this happened so I was looking through my archives and spent the day
going down memory lane. The last time I blogged about it was in 2001
but I did have another one of these in 2003, when I moved to San Diego.

It’s interesting to see that they are not as frequent as they seem and,
over time, I am not actually even friends with half these people. I am
with some and in those cases, they are solid, strong friendships that
feel good and not messed up even though the intensity is gone. It’s good
to know it can last but it doesn’t matter too much to me if it doesn’t
each time. Some people have staying power, others don’t. Each plays
his/her role in my life and that’s the part that matters.



I’ve also noticed today that the intensity with which I go to this phase
can freak some people out. This has happened before when people
interpret it as more than friendship or aren’t used to people being
really this straight with them and not having it be sexual. But it’s
not. And generally, eventually they come around. But, maybe not every
time. Who knows?

Anyhow, another important thing I thought today is that I miss writing
this blog. I mean properly writing it. Where it’s not photos or
scrapbooking or books, but it’s me. My thoughts. Not just about David,
though those too. But about me, what I think. What’s going on. Why it
matters.



So I’m going to try to do a lot of that. Daily, in fact. Let’s see if I
can manage every day in November.