Daily Diary – April 22 2011

So right before I went to bed last night, I realized I didn’t have my notebook. This is the notebook where I journal, sketch and write my daily todo lists. I live with this thing. I couldn’t possibly imagine having left it at home so I was sure I lost it. Let’s just say it put a sour end to a lovely day.

But I went to bed and despite Nathaniel waking up several times and a raging headache, I still woke up happy and after a bit of getting everyone settled, I went to the gym. And when I came back, we thought it would be fun to take a walk down to the beach. They had these golf carts that take you down to the beach and I knew David would want to ride one so we took it down to the beach.

Once we got there, everyone was happy. At least fascinated.

David was happy.

Nathaniel was watching the waves.

And his brother.

Who ran right into the sand.

And kicked around.

And laughed.

And went running.

The colors are off on this one but I still like it.

We walked all the way up the path and I took tons of flower photos on the way up. And then we went into the lobby and rested by the fire.

Then it was time to check out so we packed up and got out of there. We drove down to the Santa Cruz boulevard and Jake and David played video games while Nathaniel napped in the car and I sat with him and did my sketch. When he woke up I tried to get him to sit on the driver seat but he was mighty cranky.

They came back and we all walked to the boardwalk and the boys all had some food as we enjoyed the fresh air.

We walked back to the car and headed home and guess what? my notebook was here!! So it all worked out! The kids are now in bed (well David’s playing in his room but the little one’s in bed.) and we’re watching 30 Rock and I will then journal and do my art journal and blissfully go sleep. It was a truly sweet and wonderful vacation and, like always, it’s wonderful to be home.

I also wanted to say, thank you for your kind words about my “random thoughts” post this week. I didn’t mean to cause a ruckus. I actually feel much better inside than I ever remember feeling and I am not sad in any way. When I said “i might be a nobody” I meant that I am not a big name in the industry and thus a million opportunities don’t come my way each day which makes each of them harder to turn down. I didn’t mean for that to sound so out of proportion. Also, while I can feel not as talented as I wish I were, I don’t ever let it stop me and I still sketch and art journal and work on improving myself so I can be happy with me. I appreciate your kind words deeply but as you know it’s always more about how one feels about oneself. Which is why I am working on finding my way with art and sketching. I did it with scrapping and it’s been wonderful. I am also doing it with exercise/food so I can be more at peace with my body and that’s wonderful, too. So I know I can, I am just working on it.

Same goes for the “hang ups” from my childhood. I spent some time in a dark place over that but I am not anymore. For me, all these thoughts are coming out of paying attention and stepping back being more aware which is the first step to being free. I feel much more in a good place with all of this. Everyone has issues. These are some of mine. I am working on them and sharing them, analyzing them, thinking about them is all part of the process for me. I didn’t mean to worry anyone and like before I deeply appreciate your kindness but please know that I am in a good place. I have the most wonderful life. The best kids in the world and the most amazing, supportive and loving husband. I have a great job, friends, home, family and I love what I do in my free time. I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more. I am grateful every minute of every day and, it is because I feel so much happier that I can now notice these things, think about them and talk about them and work on them. Just wanted to make sure you knew not to worry.

But I am so touched by all your words. I am so so grateful. Thank you. It means the world to me.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for our sweet vacation. It was exactly what I hoped it would be.
2. I am grateful for another two days off to relax.
3. I am grateful I found my notebook!

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I watched TV{* his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I played video games with daddy.
3. I am grateful that we walked on the boardwalk and went to the beach.