Making Value Judgements

Since the baby still hasn’t decided to grace us with his/her presence, I decided to take a long walk yesterday. Walking is supposed to help the baby decide to come and it was a lot more appealing to me than castor oil, which is also supposed to help the baby along.

During my walk, I started thinking about how much time we spend judging people. From the smallest things to the most significant. We spend hours criticizing other people’s lives, their clothes, the choices they made for a career or a partner. We criticize their taste in books or music. Their hair color or the way they arranged the furniture. It’s almost as if we get off knowing other people’s lives aren’t as ‘good’ or ‘appropriate’ as ours.

I’m not talking about major tragedy here. There are some people who seem to really enjoy that, too. But for the most part, any decent human tends to feel sorry for an individual who is genuinely suffering. I’m talking about people who look down upon others for listening to Britney Spears. Or for reading Sidney Sheldon. Or for wearing certain clothes or shoes. As I was walking around yesterday, I began to wonder what motivates people to judge others that way.

Who decides that one singer is “better” than another? Who decides that being good at math shows a higher level of intelligence than being artistic? Why and where were such conclusions made? Does it make a person feel better to know that their musical taste is “superior” to others’? I truly don’t understand why we do this? When did it start feeling good to bash others? It makes me sad that children who are born not knowing any of this will eventually learn and have to adapt to the society in which they are raised.

This is why I ended up leaving my home country and environment. Not only did I not fit in, but I couldn’t foresee a situation in which I ever would. Isn’t it sad that because everyone has to be the same, we miss the opportunity of learning from each other? The chance to expand our horizons? If I only hung out with other computer programmers, I would have never learned the joy of sign language or graphic design. I may not be nearly as talented in either as some others are but I still get to appreciate them thanks to the people who love them and have opened my eyes.


Even if I didn’t care to learn certain things, why can’t I let people do what they like to do without making value judgements. Why is it funny to make fun of people’s choices? As someone who’s been judged a lot in her life, I have decided to be extra careful in making judgements of others. I am going to make a huge effort to watch my value judgements and to stop them. I will listen to myself more and destroy all my stupid preconceived ideas until I instinctively give people the benefit of the doubt and the respect they deserve.

I owe that to the little girl I used to be.