Moodiness

Add to the joys of pregnancy a new one: moodiness.

Any normal human with as many hormones as I’ve got would justify the ups and downs. Top that off with severe lack of sleep, constant heartburn, incessant sneezing, and a huge belly with huge boobs that my back and legs aren’t too thrilled with lately and you got yourself the perfect combination of an unpredictable bitch.

I am not the jolliest person you’ll ever meet. Most people who would describe me as ‘fun’ already like me and therefore have a biased opinion. I am not light, jovial, or easygoing. I tend to be pensive, thoughtful, caring, and reliable. I’ve always wanted to be funny and fun but I have come to admit neither seems to be a part of my personality. What can you do?

Most days I can dance the line between sad and happy quite well. While I am neurotic and worried a lot, I am not often very sad. Since I’ve been pregnant I get these random attacks much more frequently. I am overwhelmed with sadness and frustration and feel really miserable. Nothing looks, sounds, or feels right and no one can convince me otherwise. Things seem purposeless and I am too tired to care. It doesn’t last very long and it’s not something I am terribly worried about in the long term but it’s quite unpleasant to experience. Especially since I get no warning whatsoever. The good news is, I could eat ice cream since I am no longer dieting. The bad news is I don’t want ice cream or anything else.

What I try to do is sleep or curl up with a book and wait for it to pass. Hormones, I remind myself. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean I’ll be a bad mom. It doesn’t mean I’m hurting the baby. It’s just hormones.

Or so I hope.