One Day vs This Day

I was talking to a client the other day and he told me that once he accomplished such and such goal, he would then be able to relax and spend a lot of quality time with his wife. For this person, spending more high quality time with his wife was at the top of his things-i-want-to-do-more-of list. I paused for a second and then I told him that he was no longer allowed to wait for his one-day life.

Here’s the thing.

This is your one-day life. You can’t put off living, happiness, and joy until the “one day” comes. Because it might never come. We tend to always move the target as we get close to it. So what was “one day” to you ten years ago might look very different now. You might already be living the “one day” you hoped to have back in 2003. And, yet, here you are putting things off for this magical “one day” again.

And if you ever reach that “one day” it might not be what you expected. You might find yourself busier, unhappier, less fulfilled than you imagined the “one day” would look like.

You might not live to see the one day.

You might have some terrible thing happen and it would change your possible “one day” scenario completely. You might have a huge fortune befall you and the definition of “one day” would turn topsy-turvy again.

None of us know what tomorrow will be like. None of us know what really will happen. All we get is this one day. This day. All we get is this moment.

And in this moment, there’s really no good excuse to put off doing something that gives you joy over doing anything else.

There are exceptions of course, I don’t mean “quit your job, move to some remote beach until your money runs out and you’re penniless.” I am not speaking extremes of any kind, actually. I am talking about weaving in some of what you love, some of the reward you keep postponing, into your everyday.

What is on your list of things you’re going to do “one day”?

The day you’re finally rich enough to quit your job. When your kids are finally grown and out of the house. When you’re finally healthy again. When you’re thinner/prettier. Whatever your personal reason is, I encourage you wholeheartedly not to put off all your dreams/joys/happiness to “one day.”

Instead, make your “one day” list right now. Sit down, get a paper and pen and write it all out. From the smallest/easiest to the craziest. Write it all out. First of all, it’s wonderful to have dreams, goals, ambitions, hopes and things to look forward to.

But even more importantly, once you make the list, it’s real. You can start weaving some fo these into your life already. Want to go to Africa? You can start buying books, learning about what parts of Africa you might want to visit. This way you’re actually one step closer to achieving it. You can spend time with your loved ones. Go out to dinner with a long lost friend. Maybe you can’t quit your job and hang out with friends all day long, but you can certainly schedule a weekly dinner with friends. There are many ways to start taking baby steps into your “one day” life. Many ways to fulfill some of them right now.

I definitely do see the advantages of having dreams and goals. Things to look forward to. Sometimes life is hard and those goals keep us hopeful and give us the energy to make it through the rougher times.

However, there’s a difference between having something to look forward to and postponing joy. Postponing living. Especially postponing connecting with your loved ones. The time to spend with your kids is now. With your spouse. With your friends. With your parents. Now is the time to connect with the people you love. Now is the time to take a few moments every day and do something that gives you joy. Draw. Walk. Sing. Run. Whatever it is, putting it off is not the answer.

Maybe we will all get lucky and the “one day” plan will completely work out. And then you can do every single thing on your list.

But in the meantime, let’s live the one life we have fully. I’ll give you the same homework I gave my client. Schedule date night right now. Spend time with your wife. Don’t put off your happiness. Give this day everything we have. Soak in it. Go all in.

This is your time.