This is where I love now and I work here and I paint here and eat here and practice my letters and my Korean and read and watch TV. And I sleep here.

I’ve lived on this couch for almost two weeks now.

Today was my first day back to working. I took it easy and I am ready to nap now. One day at a time.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Flowers and paintbrushes making me happy.

I am ready to be done with recovery.

All the respect to people who have to do this, it takes mental fortitude and patience.

I was also thinking today about how we are all really living our lives alone. I am lucky to have an amazing and loving family who have been taking care of me, checking up on me, sitting with me. Kind friends who message me, offer to come sit with me and bring whatever I might wish. I’m really lucky.

But in the end I am experiencing this all by myself. Only I know how it feels for me and I have to make it through, no one else can do it for me.

It’s easier to be alone with other people who love you around you but in the end all we really have is ourselves and that’s the biggest reason to love yourself, to know yourself and to have your own back. Because we experience so much of life on our own. It’s much easier if we can be our own friend through it.

Maybe I’m not making much sense with the lack of sleep but it makes sense in my head 🙂

Trying to hold it together over here and still very grateful for lack of physical pain.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Finally finally finally the headache is gone. I have all the respect in the world for people who endure migraines, I am so very sorry for all you have to deal with. The plus the oxycodone pretty much meant I couldn’t even open my eyes because of the light sensitivity. So grateful that we’re mostly down to back pain and all the expected pain now. Now I just have to rest sleep and wait to recover. Don’t love it but so so much better than the headache.

Grateful.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Resting and recovering here. Have a headache that redefines all headaches that came before. Who knew anesthesia caused headaches. Not me. I also didn’t know about vasovagal either but had one of those today too. Overall though it could be much worse. If this blinding headache would go away it would be exponentially better.

#open #olw #stayingopen

Haven’t had enough of the flowers yet so I’ll be posting them for a while. I’ve been rewatching some of Brene Brown’s talks recently. I find that revisitng then once a year is a good reminder for me. Same with the “This is Water” speech by David Foster Wallace. Remembering what matters most and what we take for granted so easily.

#open #olw #stayingopen