This was an okay week, nothing too terrible and one really good book. Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.

---

The Opposite of Always (3 stars): I’ve been thinking about this book since I finished it. I was thinking about it even as I was listening to it because I felt annoyed almost immediately and I couldn’t put my finger on what was annoying me. I kept losing my focus and I knew the reviews were solid but I just couldn’t feel the story.

The gist of this story resides in Jack’s trips back to the beginning of their story so that he can live different permutations and figure out what he’s supposed to do and why he keeps getting sent back in time. Parts of it reminded me Lauren Oliver‘s Before I Fall which is one of my favorite YA novels and maybe that’s why I didn’t feel as interested in the plot this time because I felt like I’d already read a novel like this. (And that one resonated more with me for very different reasons.)

Having said all that, I liked the characters but wished they were developed more. I liked the diversity and that it was not the focal point. I liked the writing at parts. And I liked the friendship and the parents in some sections, too.

In the end I would have liked a story that was a bit deeper, I felt like there was a lot there and the author could have gone one click deeper and made the characters and this story much richer. I still enjoyed it and felt both happy and satisfied when I finished it.

---

The Wildlands (3.5 stars):  I loved the beginning and the ending of this book. I know you can always read the blurbs so I am loath to regurgitate the plot here, but in just a few words this book is about 4 siblings who survive but are orphaned after a category 5 tornado. (Their mom had already passed away at childbirth.) Three girls and a boy. The brother soon disappears and comes back after an eco-terrorism bombing. He comes back to take the youngest sibling and the story splits between the two on the run and the two that stay behind.

I loved both Darlene and Cora who are definitely the most developed characters in the story. I struggled a bit more with Vincent and I feel Jane was quite under-devopled though I liked the little bits of her we got.

I love the way the story wrapped up. I loved that it was real and not a Hollywood version of life. I also loved the writing, it was so visual, so poetic. A joy to read.

I’ll be honest, I checked this book out in the past but didn’t feel like reading it. I work in Silicon Valley, use Apple products and have worked with Apple before, so I wasn’t sure if I wanted to read a book about Apple in my spare time, but someone at work told me this is one of his favorite books and when people tell me that, I usually read the book.

This book is a very fast read. I started and finished it today. It’s about the design process, like the title says, but the two areas the writer has worked the most in is browsers (which I’ve worked on as well so it was fascinating to me) and the keyboard for the iphone and later ipad. The storytelling is excellent and keeps you engaged the entire time.

If these types of stories fascinate you, I am confident you will enjoy this book.

---

On Being Human (4 stars): There’s so much I want to say about this book that I don’t really know where to begin. I had never heard of Jen Pastiloff before I picked up this book. I picked it because the title (and the cover) spoke to me.

This book is mostly a memoir of the author as she goes through her life’s journey and then there are many sections that could be qualified as self-help through the realizations she’s sharing along the way. But the whole time it’s about her and it’s not lecturing you as if she knows what’s right for you. So in that way, it’s not really self-help 🙂

The book starts when the author is really young and loses her dad at a young age which has a profound impact on her life. The family then moves back an forth from California to New Jersey a few times and then she moves to the Los Angeles area and is a waitress there for a long long time before she finds yoga and love and herself and starts running retreats all over the world.

The writing is honest, raw, introspective, unvarnished in the most beautiful way. At times it pained me to read how she was self-destructing so much and to read her pain. But then I was also cheering for her and I took so much of the journey along with her because the writing is so real and you come to care for her so much.

There was much I underlined here, here are just a few:

The idea was this: I can give this away, this love, I do not have to keep it here in the dark, I can give it away and create more, even if I don’t remember what it feels like to be loved. I can create it.

I loved this. The giving it away and creating more.

This was a moment my sister lived with me where we were truly happy so I tacked it on the wall above my desk to remind me that nothing is ever one thing, that although there were moments where we hated each other and couldn’t stand living together, there were also times like this.

This is so true. I feel this so much of the time, especially with people I love.

Depression is a response to past loss, and anxiety is a response to future loss.

For some reason, I had never thought of this, in this way, before. This helps reframe somethings for me.

We can only be where we are.

Obvious maybe but hard to keep remembering this.

I’m worthy to receive.

I loved this because it’s not just about being worthy but about being worthy to receive. Loved this sentiment.

There will always be the one who doesn’t like you, the one who says, No, you should not do this, Yes, you suck. And we always always have two choices: keep going or shut down.

Ain’t that the truth. Who’s going to win? The one?

I have no idea who she is or was or what she’s ever done or might do, but my point is, life’s pretty filled up with all of us walking around telling stories about each other and to each other and about ourselves.

This also made me stop and think. It’s so true that we have our own stories about ourselves, about others, the stories we share. On and on. There’s so much noise. Who knows what the truth is.

Instead of getting caught up in who doesn’t like you, get caught up in who does. It’s much more interesting.

i loved this idea. hard as it may be to implement.

“No one is going to give me a fucking medal,” I yelled into the phone as if she were the deaf one. “I have to give myself one.” There is was. My whole life I had been waiting for permission, waiting to be discovered, waiting to be acknowledged, chosen, given permission to take up space. All of my life I had been waiting for someone to tell me I was enough.

The lady who left my retreat gave me a gift. She gifted me with the revelation that you have to do all the ard work of loving yourself yourself. In that moment in the kitchen with those ladies and the wine and the chocolate ganache, I finally realized that no one was ever going to save me. No one was ever going to give me permission to be me. I had to do it.

And this. So much this. Not waiting. Giving permission. I have to do it.

If any of this resonates with you, I highly recommend this book, it will stay with me quite a while. I’m grateful for people who share their stories honestly. Even though this author and I have so little in common in our lives/histories, there is still so much I share with her and so much I’ve learned from her journey and her openness.

Thank you to netgalley and duttonbooks for the advanced copy in return for an honest review.

---

Golden State (3.5 stars): I’m still thinking about how I feel about this book. I originally picked this book up right when it released. The premise seemed interesting and I thought it would be the kind of book I like. When I first started it, I couldn’t get past the first scene. I couldn’t understand what was going on, the narration was off aggressive, loud and felt invasive and I just decided to put it down.

When I finally picked it back up this week, I just willed myself past that scene and I am super-glad I did. The book got much better for me as soon as I moved past that scene. It was fast paced, enough ambiguity mixed with consistent pace of revelations and good character development.

For me, it fizzled at the end, which is why i eded up with 3.5 stars and not more. I felt like it shifted too drastically and the story wasn’t as interesting, for me. Overall, I am still glad I went back to this one.

---

If Cats Disappeared from the World (3 stars):  I enjoyed this story especially because it was such a different one. I’ve spent some time reading Japanese authors in the last few years and I enjoy the different rhythm and dialogue and perspective they tend to have.

In this case, some of those elements were there. The plot is unusual and interesting. The characters and some of the dialogue drew me in, especially the parts that had the ex-girlfriend and the cat. I enjoyed reading the backstory of his parents and all of it had the familiar yet unfamiliar sense I get from reading novels that are set in different cultural backgrounds than mine.

At yet, I don’t know if it’s the translation or not but the sentence structure and the word choice left much of this novel stilted for me. It was hard for me to connect to the dying man and the rhythm just felt off. I can’t even really put my finger on what exactly made it hard to really love this novel. This is the kind of story I would usually love. But alas, it fell a bit short in this case.

I wish I could read the original.

---

The Night Tiger (3.5 stars):  I know I must be in the minority for this book. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to read it but then I got it in my library queue and it was Reese’s pick at Audible and I felt like the universe was telling me I should read it.

It took me a while to get into it. The beginning was slow and a bit discombobulated, for me. But then the middle was pretty great. I liked the characters and grew to really care about them, especially Ren. I didn’t like much of the dream sequences but even that didn’t deter me too much.

I felt like by about 3/4ths in, I was ready for it to end. My interest and excitement had waned and it went on much longer than I though necessary. In the end, I am still glad I read it. The characters, the plot, the setting were all unusual, for me, and I appreciate how much I learn from books like that. It just wasn’t as magical as I’d hoped it would be.

---

And there we go, an ok week of reading. Here’s to a great week next week.

---

Books I Read this Week 2019 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2019 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.

If it weren’t for two super great reads, I would have said this is an average/not great week. But two super good reads in a week is pretty excellent.  Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.

---

Tangle’s Game (2.5 stars): As someone who has a history in both finance and tech, I was excited to read this book. I wasn’t exactly sure what the plot would be but I thought it had potential.

I am loath to say anything bad about a book because I know a ton of effort goes into writing a book and it’s a huge accomplishment. This book has an interesting story line and I liked the last 15% more than the rest of the book. For someone who’s looking for an interesting, plot-driven story, it might just be the thing.

For me, there were several things that made the book less than ideal. The beginning of the book dragged quite a bit longer than I would have liked. It took a long time for the reader to find what was in the drive and what this whole thing was about. This would have been interesting in a character-driven story but in a story that was mostly about the plot, it made me impatient and frustrated. Some of the details of this future world were interesting to me but I felt the author didn’t give me the depth I would have liked. The characters were reasonably under-developed with possibly the exception of the main character. Even Ichi did a lot of telling of her backstory as opposed to feeling like a 3-dimensional character for me. Most of them didn’t change or grow much (except Amanda) so it just fell flat for me.

What ended up being the most frustrating part for me was the lectures the women gave each other (and the men) about how hard it was being a woman (or being biracial). It felt super didactic and super condescending. As a woman, I felt offended and annoyed. As a reader, I felt like the characters were taking a pause in the middle of the plot to lecture each other. It just really didn’t fit at all. There were several other political commentary sections that felt the same way. Like the author was lecturing through the characters. It bothered me enough that I almost put the book down.

I don’t want to give away the interesting parts of the plot but I did enjoy Tatsu and found the plot around Tatsu to be interesting and enjoyable. I think this story would have been more enjoyable without some of the extra commentary, especially if you enjoy plot-driven stories.

thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy in return for an honest review.

---

The Secret of Clouds (3 stars):  I saw this book in my library and the cover looked so beautiful that I wanted to read it. I knew nothing about the book and had never heard of the author.

This book is about a teacher who is tutoring a sick boy and through her relationship with him, her perspective (and then life) changes. It’s a good book but it’s not a book that will stay with me. It’s more in the sweet, little story category. It felt more plot, less character development and those books are usually not my favorite.

If you want a sweet, easy-to-read book that’s touching, this is not a bad pick.

---

Be Angry (3 stars): I’ve never read a book that contained the wisdom of the Dalai Lama that didn’t teach me something important. This was no exception. This book was a bit disjointed and that made it hard to keep up with but the wisdom, the teachings, the thought-provoking perspective is all there.

---

Being Creative (3 stars): I like the message this book is imparting. That creative is something you are. It’s inside you. The book is broken into 5 sections, each with 4 ideas around how to get you more and more into the creative mindset and to unlock the creativity within you.

The first section really resonated with me, the idea of beginner’s mind, starting small and reducing the size, and even consistency. I have done all of these in my own work and they do work like magic. I love the sentiment that “we don’t push the difficulty away. we don’t put it off until tomorrow. We stay with it now – with all the terror it induces.”

I also liked some of the new-to-me ideas like “internal camera” and “prepared piano.” There are other ideas that I don’t use regularly but make sense tome like making small changes daily, like your first thought being your best one, like not theorizing.

I also loved this: “Remind yourself each day that you have some responsibility for your creativity. You can change things.”

At its core, this book comes with this message: “Abandon the illusion of creativity. Instead, address what’s there….Be free of the mess.”

I love the ideas in this book.

Here’s where it fell a bit short for me: The format of the book was hard for me to get into, I felt like there was a lot of repetition, the chapters were too short, not enough details for the ideas and not enough solid examples. It was a bit too abstract at parts where I wasn’t sure I understood what he was saying fully. I could have used a bit more depth.

At the end of each section, there’s a “further learning” section which is full of things to read, listen, study and visit. They are delightful and wide-ranging and add so much depth to this book. I loved reading each of them and I can’t wait to dive into many of them.

On the whole, I am glad I read this book and I feel energized to keep creating and to heed the reminder to “stay with yourself as the only source of creativity – it’s not out there but inside you. You are the receptacle of all things creative.”

How can one not be inspired by that?

i received an advanced copy of this in return for an honest review. thank you to netgalley and the publisher.

---

Shout (4.5 stars):  I wanted to read this from the moment I heard it was coming out. If you’ve read any of her previous novels, you know Laurie Halse Anderson is a powerful writer and this memoir in verse is no exception. It’s powerful writing at its best.

too many grown-ups tell kids to follow
their dreams
like that’s going to get them somewhere
Auntie Laurie says follow your nightmares instead
cuz when you figure out what’s eating you
you can slay it

if you have never read LHE, there are a lot of trigger warnings to be had with this book, so please be careful before you pick it up. I am grateful for people who tell their story and for people who tell their truth. We need so many more books like these.

Beautiful, deep, heart-wrenching, and truth telling. Thank you, Laurie Halse Anderson.

---

A Woman is No Man (4.5 stars):  I have so many thoughts about this book. I was very much looking forward to reading this book even though I didn’t know too much about it. The most consistent thing I’d heard about it was that it was harrowing. So I braced myself as I started reading it and I will say that I think knowing there was going to be devastating parts of the book really helped me so I wanted to make sure to pass this on in case in helps other readers too.

This book is about three generations of Palestinian women living in America (Brooklyn, NY.) The mother-in-law, the bride, and the daughter of the bride is how I think of it in my head. Each of their stories is raw, honest, and has heartbreaking parts. Each, in their own way, highlights the difficulties of growing up as a woman in this very patriarchal society/community.

There is a lot that happens in this book, and since I grew up in Turkey so much of this rang close to home for me. I heard so many of the same messages around a woman’s worth when I grew up (even though I am not Muslim.)

Each of these women’s stories makes you feel deep sadness. How they had to sacrifice their soul and identity to exist. How they had to endure. And how they just passed this on from generation to generation (that’s the part that made me both angriest and saddest. that it’s not just the men who do this but the women do it to each other.)

This novel doesn’t hold back. It’s not sensationalist, it’s not trying to be loud, it’s not trying to preach, it’s not trying to do anything but tell the truth. A terrible, sad truth.

I will also say this novel is compulsively readable. It’s well written, the characters are deeply developed and you feel for each character, even the ones doing horrible things. You can feel each person’s brokenness. The author did a terrific job.

We need more books like this. We need to tell our stories. We need to speak our truths. To me, it’s one of the best gifts of books, that I get to learn about others’ truths. I get to relate. I get to feel empathy. I get to care. It helps connect us and make each of us feel less alone. I am grateful for those who choose to be brave and who choose to tell their stories.

---

Riots I Have Known (2.5 stars):  I wasn’t even sure how to rate this book. I requested this book because it sounded intriguing and it sounded like it would be funny but also thought provoking. “Smart, wry, and laugh-out-loud funny” said the reviews. In retrospect, I should have known better than to attempt a book on satire. Satire, sarcasm, and dark humor are not my thing. I like heavy/serious books, I like light/funny books, I like a very wide range of novels but I have historically never been a fan of satire. It feels off to me. If you have a point to make, make it. Don’t make it in a way that’s belittling and underhanded.

I know this is a point of view and completely my opinion. I also know that it’s hard work to write a novel so I am going to do my best to make sure this review is not colored by my anti-satire bias as much as possible.

This is an interesting story by a Sri Lankan prison mate during a riot. He is locked in the media room in the jail and narrating the events of his life. It’s mostly written in a stream of consciousness style and it weaves in and out of present day and is set against the backdrop of this big riot so there’s a lot of rhythm to the story. For me, this style made the story hard to follow and I kept losing my focus. But it also added a layer of both urgency and a bit of deliriousness into the story which I felt viscerally.

Despite my dislike of satire, there were parts of this book that were just laugh out loud funny, even for me. I couldn’t help myself. I shared some of them with my 14-year-old who also thought it was hilarious. There are many, many mentions of our daily lives and twitter, and kickstarter and things that are both obnoxious and so true. And while it’s exaggerated of course, it never veers so of course to be unbelievable. Sadly, for our society, most of this crazy was still in the plausible range which is what made it so much more funny.

If satire is your thing, and you do not shy away from stream of consciousness novels, I am confident this will be a winner for you. It might even be one of your favorite novels of 2019.

I received an advanced copy of this in exchange for an honest review.

---

The Perfect Liar (3 stars):  I was tired yesterday and in a mood where no book felt appealing. All the books I was looking forward to reading felt heavy, complicated, too much. I don’t know if I am the only one who has days like that. Anyhow, when I saw this on my list I decided it would be just the thing.

And it was.

It’s a simple mystery novel. Not trying to be all twisty and turny and shock the reader though it has some twists and turns but none of them are super unpredictable in my opinion and, for me, this kept the book more fun and enjoyable.

---

By Invitation Only (3 stars):  I was feeling in a slump and wanted to read something light and fun and this book was due back at the library in 3 days so I decided it was time to tackle it. Just as I had hoped, it was totally able to take me out of my slump. It’s light, sweet, and funny in parts. I don’t think much of it will stay with me but I still enjoyed it while I read it. Sometimes that’s all I need from a book and I am grateful to be able to be sure I will find it.

---

And there we go, a good week of reading. Here’s to another good week next week.

---

Books I Read this Week 2019 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2019 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.