Prompt: Gratitude – 04 | There’s something good in everyday
my beautiful friend Kelly
I entered 2019 in the middle of a major depression. I had spent the last six months extremely sad and unable to see any light as I looked down the road of my life. It took me three months to come up with a word for the year and I ended up having to create a spreadsheet with all the options until I found the one that spoke to me: magic.
I picked magic because I knew I had to get intentional around both adding more magic to my everyday life and also about seeing the magic that was already there. I had stopped seeing anything good about my life, let alone magical. I needed to make a concerted effort.
Throughout 2019, I exchanged weekly emails with my friend Kelly, listing all the magical things from that week. In June 2019, I finally started to feel better again. I could breathe again, I could imagine possibilities again, and I started seeing the magic of everyday again.
I don’t know how much the weekly practice contributed to my healing but I know that it was the most tangible way to remember that there is indeed something good in everyday. That every single day I get is a gift and is magic and I am so very grateful to get to have one more.
And so grateful to finally feel better.
This year I am planning to do something different than last year. Around last September, I stopped taking a lot of daily photos which then meant I also stopped scrapbooking. I have several of the Story Kit’s piled up. So I decided to switch gears a bit and see if I can use Ali’s prompts to tell my stories. I might (or might not) also turn them into scrapbook pages. In the meantime, I will just enjoy telling my stories.
Stories from 2020 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here. The prompts are from Ali’s Story Kits unless mentioned otherwise. I have started an instagram account for these, we’ll see if I keep it up.
Weekly Intention: This week has the potential to be a crazy week. I have several big things going on as well as a bunch of work I have to get done and then I am possibly going to the kids’ school Monday night, climbing Tuesday night and taking Friday off to be with David for his birthday. My intention this week is to stay as calm and grounded as I can. Let’s lean into the silence of the wilderness.
This month’s intention is:Wild at Heart: Take new chances with your heart this month. Try new date nights. Reach out to new people. Create new connections. Strengthen your heart with exercise. Interesting one. I think a great reminder and something that was top of mind. I am going to think about this.
One way I will show up this week: attentive. calming maybe?
I will go into the wild: not sure about this one. maybe over the weekend? I have a hike slotted for Jake and me.
This week, I will pay attention to: things that are happening and mostly how i show up
One new thing I will begin this week: journaling still 🙁
One magic I will create: still need to: Book a vacation for winter break, wrap david’s presents.
One thing I hope to release: the thin layer of anxiety i add to everything.
One thing I will join in on: maybe go to school monday?
One area I will practice being open: maybe here i can be open to feedback this week?
I am looking forward to: some big projects culminating
This week’s challenges: getting to draft 2 is still likely my biggest one.
Top Goals:
Work: clean email. draft 2. thursday. nbu doc.
Personal: figure out a routine that works for me. journal. get into a groove.
Family: support nathaniel and david and jake. celebrate david.
I will focus on my values (love, learn, peace, service, gratitude): i aim for peace and learning at work. gratitude for me. service and love for my family.
This week, I want to remember: which of these will matter in 5 years?
Living Wild is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here.
The Wildest Part of this Week was: Hmm this week was mostly just a lot of work and late nights. I worked 10+ hours most days and still went climbing on Tuesday night – though I didn’t end up climbing so much – and Thursday morning. I still haven’t adjusted to the rhythms of 2020, yet. Here’s to hoping February fares a bit better.
Top Goals Review:
Work: had only one walking 1-1. cleaned email. did not really continue or really do the nbu doc.
Personal: totally did not figure out a routine that works for me.
Family: did support nathaniel and david and jake.
I celebrate: being brave this week.
I am grateful for: a quiet weeked.
This week, I exercised: I did uphill walking (15%) 4 days and rock climbing 3 days.
This week, I answered the Call of the Wild: Hmm not much this week. I feel called but am not answering the call. I did take one walking 1-1 but it’s measly.
This week’s Wildcard was: hmmm. just having to have so many conversations at work i think.
I said yes to: resting this weekend.
I said no to: working over the weekend even though i really should have.
Core Desired Feelings (leap, soft, release, join, delight) Check-in: Hmm. I am taking a big leap and trying to release all the anxiety around that. I am also thinking of what/where and how to join. Those are top of mind right now.
My mood this week was: very tired.
I am proud of: some solid climbing on Saturday and working hard to tackle the overhangs.
I release: the outcomes
Here’s what I learned this week: how i show up has a big influence on how the story goes.
What I love right now: I love that I am moving slowly.
Weekly Review 2020 is a year-long project for 2020. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here.
Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I also have an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
The Love Story of Missy Carmichael (5 stars): “She marched to the beat of her own drum, whereas I seemed to listen out for everyone else’s.”
I loved and adored this story. This is the story of Missy Carmichael who is living by herself at the beginning of a new stage of her life where she’s lost her husband and is estranged from her daughter and so far away from her son who lives in Australia. She is living a contained life.
“To be open with one’s emotions, to reveal one’s devotion so obviously, seemed reckless, as if inviting a knock?back.”
As she meets her next-door neighbor Alice, her life begins to open up and thanks to a series of small-seeming events she starts building a community around herself. She touches people’s lives and allows them to touch hers. She mends relationships. She learns about herself. She grows up and opens up.
“The magic doesn’t stop the worst happening. The worst happens all the time, every day. And then life goes on. And you just hang on and hope that you can keep whatever crumbs and tiny white teeth are left.”
The magic of letting others help you, of expanding your life, of leaning in and on others is at the heart of this gem of a novel. And it shows you what happens when a person is supported and loved and blooms under the care of that love.
“I’d never seen myself like that before. The first photo summed me up, mostly, but the second had exposed my other self, the tiny part of me that could laugh like that. I wanted to poke my way into that part like I’d delved into the envelope, widen and open it up so that it overwhelmed the stiffness and self?consciousness and all the other weaknesses I despised.”
It’s not possible to read this beautiful novel, full of beautifully rich characters and not to feel your heart growing a size bigger. I have loved my time with it and it will stay with me for a long while.
with gratitude to netgalley and Penguin Group Putnam for an early copy in exchange for an honest review.
Big Lies in a Small Town (4 stars): Diane Chamberlain is such a master storyteller. I loved both of the characters’ storylines here and I loved how they came together in the end. I felt both of the characters (and worlds) were well developed and interesting on their own which is relatively rare in novels like this. I enjoyed every moment I spent with this story and if you’re a fan of Chamberlain this one won’t disappoint.
Love Her or Lose Her (3.5 stars): I enjoyed my time with this sweet romance novel. I loved that it was about saving a marriage as opposed to a new budding romance. I loved how each of the characters were flawed and yet also wonderful. They were three-dimensional. I liked the therapist a lot, too. Most of the novel was reasonably predictable but it was sweet and endearing.
The Camera Never Lies (3 stars): The premise of this story was so compelling to me that I checked it out from the library multiple times. I had read that it was by a Christian author and I don’t usually read novels of that genre so I couldn’t decide if I should read this. But I kept coming back to it so I finally decided to just read it. And I am glad I did. The story was interesting and despite several reviews to the contrary I actually thought the characters weren’t 100% stereotypical. I liked the premise and i liked the overall lesson that hiding things are not good for you. I believe it’s really important to live aligned with your values and that when you’re out of integrity with who you are, you suffer. This story was a good reminder. I enjoyed it.
And there we go, another week of reading in 2020.
Books I Read this Week 2020 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
Prompt: Family – 07 | Start making a collection of favorite family stories.
When I was around three or four, my sister was lying on my parents’ bed and reading the paper. I was so jealous that she could read and I couldn’t, so I asked her if she’d be willing to teach me.
I’m originally from Istanbul, Turkey and when it comes to reading, Turkish is a relatively easy language because it’s transliterated. Each letter has only one possible pronunciation and once you’ve learned your letters, the words are just about putting the letter sounds together.
Lying in that bed together on that day, my sister taught me how to read. At the time, she could never have known the size of the gift she gave me. Reading has been my favorite way to spend my time for the last forty years. I’ve read thousands of books in my life so far and I think about that moment all the time. About how she could just as easily have said no. About how it is one of my favorite memories with her.
I will forever be grateful to my sister for that gift.
This year I am planning to do something different than last year. Around last September, I stopped taking a lot of daily photos which then meant I also stopped scrapbooking. I have several of the Story Kit’s piled up. So I decided to switch gears a bit and see if I can use Ali’s prompts to tell my stories. I might (or might not) also turn them into scrapbook pages. In the meantime, I will just enjoy telling my stories.
Stories from 2020 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here. The prompts are from Ali’s Story Kits unless mentioned otherwise. I have started an instagram account for these, we’ll see if I keep it up.
Weekly Intention: OK this week’s intention is to journal daily, do some more art, spend time with Nathaniel. Lean into my work. Just live life to the fullest.
This month’s intention is:Into the Wild: Start small. Make a plan for the steps you want to take and give yourself a lot of grace. Take a handful of steps. You got this. Journaling this week.
One way I will show up this week: one more round?
I will go into the wild: finally do some walking 1-1s.
This week, I will pay attention to: longer term plans.
One new thing I will begin this week: journaling darn it.
One magic I will create: Haven’t done these yet: Book a vacation for winter break, start an evening routine. One of these.
One thing I hope to release: random worry.
One thing I will join in on: Still need time.
One area I will practice being open: still haven’t done this either: I would love to look over the exercise schedule at work again and see what I can try on.
The Wildest Part of this Week was: I am going to have to go with our hike to Mission Peak on Sunday. 9miles and I was feeling good. That was definitely the wildest part.
Top Goals Review:
Work: did not do any walking 1-1s. did clean email. did get some answers. and started!
Personal: didn’t even come close to figuring out a routine that works for me.
Family: did support nathaniel and david and jake.
I celebrate: Nathaniels winter culmination. It was so wonderful to see all his accomplishments.
I am grateful for: finishing my first draft.
This week, I exercised: I did uphill walking (15%) 5 days, rock climbing 2 days, and took one very long hike.
This week, I answered the Call of the Wild: I did a long and hard hike on Sunday. 9.2 miles to Mission Peak
This week’s Wildcard was: Mission Peak and my good meeting at work.
I said yes to: working all Sunday to get my packet written.
I said no to: doing anything on Saturday.
Core Desired Feelings (leap, soft, release, join, delight) Check-in: Hmm. Mission Peak hike made me feel so much better. Delightful. Did not do much of the others tho.
My mood this week was: good, especially on Friday.
I am proud of: getting my MRI done.
I release: i think i am starting to release a bit
Here’s what I learned this week: i can do this.
What I love right now: I love that I am giving myself some grace.
Weekly Review 2020 is a year-long project for 2020. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here.
Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I also have an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
“She felt she could get up and dance on it when she realized the beetle was silent. In fact, when she prodded at the back of her mind, she realized it was gone. She no longer cared what the others thought or did or what they thought of her. It no longer mattered to her that Amanda and Chloe were being assholes, that she hadn’t started studying for finals yet, or that who-knows-what chemicals were being pumped through her body that very minute. It wasn’t like she always thought it would be: a sharp hit to her system and she was somebody else. Her body slipped into it easily, naturally, like this was how she was always supposed to be. She felt curiously warm and safer than she’d ever been. She felt gloriously, sparklingly fine.”
I read Erica Boyce’s The Fifteen Wonders of Daniel Green last year and loved it, so when I saw she had a new novel, I knew I wanted to read it. Just like the previous novel, what made this story magical for me was the character development. Similar to Daniel Green, this book started slowly. I wasn’t sure who was who and how they were related. But just like the previous novel, it all came together.
Each of the characters in this story is textured, complicated, and real. They have their own stories and a series of experiences that led them here to be this person. They are 3-dimensional and rich and I couldn’t help but get attached to them.
There are some surprises in the story but nothing that felt super twisty to me, nothing that distracted from the overall quiet but powerful nature of this story.
The depictions of anxiety are so vivid and so visual and so visceral in this story that I could both see and experience it as I read it. I loved this story as much as, if not more than the previous novel. I cannot wait to read more of Erica Boyce’s stories.
With gratitude to netgalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for an early copy in exchange for an honest review.
The Honey Don’t List (3 stars): I am usually a big fan of Christina Lauren books. They are fun and uplifting and the characters are well developed. While this wasn’t a bad book by any means, I felt like it wasn’t one of their strongest. The biggest reason is because the characters weren’t nearly as developed as I feel they usually are. We knew almost nothing about Melissa or Rusty Tripp, especially Melissa. We’re told a lot about how awesome in love they were but it’s a lot of telling and very little showing. Nothing to really explain how Melissa ended up this way or even a bit more of her textured personality. They mostly seem to be cartoonish.
But even with all that, I still read the whole book in a day, got lost in the story and enjoyed my way through it. If you’ve never read Christina Lauren, I wouldn’t start with this one but if you’re a Christina Lauren fan, I am sure you’ll enjoy this one.
with gratitude to netgalley and Gallery, Pocket Books for an advanced copy in return for an honest review.
The Beekeeper of Aleppo (4 stars): I loved this sad but beautiful book. I checked it out of the library many, many times before I finally broke down and decided to read it. The story of Nuri and Afra is completely gut wrenching. The things they must endure to get out of a war ravaged country and how there’s no such thing as a happy ending in these situations is so beautifully depicted in this story. It will definitely break your heart.
Long Bright River (4 stars): For reasons I can’t explain, I didn’t want to read this book. It looked like it was going to be a police procedural and I’ve read enough of those that I am not excited about them. And I’ll be honest the plot in this story wasn’t what drew me to love it. This is a slow cooking book and then by about 3/4ths of the way through, I found I was so attached to the characters and wanted to know how things turned out for them. I loved the writing. The depictions of addiction were so powerful and the brokenness of a family, so real. I am glad I read it but this is definitely not a fast-paced story.
Godshot (4 stars): “Whatever’s happened to you can either make you beautiful, or it will ruin you forever. You decide.”
I have so many feelings about this book. I’ll start by saying that the writing is phenomenal. Such beautiful sentences and such a pleasure to read them. It reminded me of White Oleander many different times. Really excellent imagery in her writing. The atmosphere of the draught was so stifling, so real that I felt parched as I read the story.
“I don’t think they were her ideas. I think they were yours, and then they were the beers’ and then they were that man’s from the phone. I think she learned to ignore her own ideas a long time ago.”
I also loved the character development. I think the characters were mostly well developed, especially Lacey May and her mom. Vern was less so but we don’t really see much of him directly in the story so it would have been hard to do that. I loved Daisy and her daughter. There was so much texture in the characters.
“It was the same way I had. Her belief had accumulated like a tumbleweed and it became too hard to go back once she’d come so far, sacrificed so much.”
But here’s the thing: this story was so sad. So so so over the top terrible. Just one awful thing after another. I am not saying this kind of stuff doesn’t happen. Of course it does. It just was so much that it almost felt manipulative. Horrible things happening to women all throughout this book. So you have to be ready for that. It just felt like I was watching a roadside accident and I am not one of those people who finds that fascinating, I find it devastating.
I’d give this a 3.5 but the writing was so amazing that I felt a strong need to round up.
With gratitude to netgalley and Catapult for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
And there we go, another week of reading in 2020.
Books I Read this Week 2020 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
Prompt: Design – 02 | What have you been doing recently to design a life you love?
I spend a lot of time thinking about what matters to me and designing the life I want for myself. I pick a word of the year, make daily, weekly, monthly goals for myself so that I can continually work towards building the life I want. This time of year is always when I take a moment to look back and reflect on the year I’ve had. On what worked and what didn’t work as well. I make a point to write down all the things that happened so that I can see how much happens in one year and how much I’ve already done. It’s important for me to get to see it because it’s easy for me to write off all the positive efforts I put into areas of my life and only notice where I am still falling short.
After I bid farewell to the last year, I spend a lot of time dreaming, wishing, designing the life I want for the following year. At this moment, I am spending my time thinking about what I want 2020 to look like. I use my One Little Word to have the overarching goal for the year. Next year, my word will be: WILD. It’s a reminder to go out into the wild more often. To hike, to camp, to be near the water. To learn, grow, take risks. I then choose my core desired feelings. Four or five words that reflect how I want to feel throughout 2020. When opportunities come up, I think about how they will make me feel and see if it’s one of those five. If so, I say yes. If not, I turn it down. This helps me spend more time feeling the way I want to feel.
Once I have those down, I then design projects for myself so I can push and encourage myself. So I can in fact live my word and my feelings every single day. I have projects around drawing (like @karenikareads), reading, telling stories, going on hikes, movement, journaling and reflection, etc. This helps me take time each week to remember how I am spending my moments and see if I can help align them to the way I want to live.
I spend a lot of time designing the life I want. I still manage to struggle all the time but I know that being intentional helps me get closer to the life I want then ever.
This year I am planning to do something different than last year. Around last September, I stopped taking a lot of daily photos which then meant I also stopped scrapbooking. I have several of the Story Kit’s piled up. So I decided to switch gears a bit and see if I can use Ali’s prompts to tell my stories. I might (or might not) also turn them into scrapbook pages. In the meantime, I will just enjoy telling my stories.
Stories from 2020 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here. The prompts are from Ali’s Story Kits unless mentioned otherwise. I have started an instagram account for these, we’ll see if I keep it up.
Weekly Intention: This is a short week since Monday is a holiday. I’d still like to journal more and see what’s going on with me. Why I feel how I feel. I’d like to slow down and be aware of how i feel in the moments I feel it.
This month’s intention is:Into the Wild: Start small. Make a plan for the steps you want to take and give yourself a lot of grace. Take a handful of steps. You got this. Exactly the same as last week: Doing ok so far with walking and climbing, would like to get back on the yoga and pt wagon. And breathing more. Oh and I’d love to start a hike a week.
One way I will show up this week: Maybe do my perf for a change.
I will go into the wild: Maybe do one long hike.
This week, I will pay attention to: the energy i give off.
One new thing I will begin this week: Let’s go with regular journaling still.
One magic I will create: Hmmm. Book a vacation for winter break, start an evening routine. One of these.
One thing I hope to release: anxiety.
One thing I will join in on: Still need time.
One area I will practice being open: I would love to look over the exercise schedule at work again and see what I can try on.
I am looking forward to: finishing a draft maybe?
This week’s challenges: just a lot to get done in one week and I have an MRI on Friday morning.
Top Goals:
Work: walking 1-1s. clean email. get some answers. start.
Personal: figure out a routine that works for me.
Family: support nathaniel and david and jake.
I will focus on my values (love, learn, peace, service, gratitude): I would really like to get back to my center and be clear on what i want, where i am, and what i choose from here.
This week, I want to remember: to focus on what will matter most in 5 years and not just this week.
Living Wild is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here.
