Weekly Intention: This week my intention is to try to go back to a bit of a routine for myself and find ways to ground myself. The coronavirus news is definitely creating a low but persistent level of anxiety in me. Coupled with the inability to go climbing and working late nights due to perf, I am more discombobulated than I’d like to be. My intention this week is to go back to exercising in the mornings on the treadmill and to see if I can make it to two classes at work this week. Coupled with some drawing and some journaling I am hoping that will ground me. I also plan to leave work at a reasonable time every day, even if it delays perf even further.
This month’s intention is:Wild Air: Go outside. Smell the spring air. The seasons are shifting again and it’s time to try new things, new places, take new chances. Pick one thing and go big. Drink the wild air.I did finally make the exercise list from February but I still didn’t make a list of people to reach out to and date nights to do. I did start a hike list but we only managed to do half of one this week. Let’s see how we manage next week. We also have to apply for our Whitney and Half Dome as this is the last week for Whitney.
One way I will show up this week: calm.
I will go into the wild: I am hoping that Jake and I can take another hike this weekend and I also want to get out for 20 minutes every day, even if it’s just to sit in the sun.
This week, I will pay attention to: continuing the food plan, getting more exercise, and finishing perf. setting a routine for some of my other work that’s still not settled.
One new thing I will begin this week: back to daily walking.
One magic I will create: I want to have a bit of a time with my kids if I can pull it off this week. Some small magic together as a family.
One thing I hope to release: the guilt i feel over how off this year feels so far. how little i feel like i am honoring my word. also how hard i am being on myself.
One thing I will join in on: work exercise classes!
One area I will practice being open: that everything will be okay.
I am looking forward to: perf being done.
This week’s challenges: just going back into routine, exercising again.
Top Goals:
Work: finish perf. stay on top of email. spend some time with nbu and tokyo. write down plans.
Personal: i still really crave the way figure out a routine that works for me. i still crave journaling. go back to exercising more. continue eating the wild.
Family: support nathaniel and david and jake. taxes. whitney and half dome. science fairs. school breakfast.
I will focus on my values (love, learn, peace, service, gratitude): i am trying to remember these, keep it all in perspective, and lean into who i am and what I value.
This week, I want to remember: i am so lucky and blessed.
Living Wild is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here.
The Wildest Part of this Week was: Voting wearing plastic gloves. I always prefer to vote in person but this year, I wasn’t sure it was safe. So we decided to go with gloves on just to be safe.
Top Goals Review:
Work: did not finish perf but pretty close. stayed on top of email. did not spend some time with nbu and tokyo.
Personal: did not figure out a routine that works for me. did journal a little. did not get into a groove. did eat the wild.
Family: supported nathaniel and david and jake. finished taxes, round one.
I celebrate: Voting.
I am grateful for: my family’s safety and health at these times of uncertainty
This week, I exercised: i’ve been doing a poor job of exercise. i went bouldering on Tuesday night at work and I went on a mini hike with Jake today. I need to go back to the daily walking and maybe take some classes at work since I can’t go to the climbing gym at the moment.
This week, I answered the Call of the Wild: Some awesome outdoor time in Houston. That will be it this week.
This week’s Wildcard was: Well coronovirus definitely is a wildcard. Albeit not a good one.
I said yes to: bouldering at work, a 5am hike right after the time change so it was a 4am hike. working really late every night this week.
I said no to: exercising in the mornings, which i am sad about.
Core Desired Feelings (leap, soft, release, join, delight) Check-in: i haven’t connected to my core desired feelings in so long. I actively work on releasing but nothing else sadly.
My mood this week was: on edge if i am honest.
I am proud of: staying calm throughout all that’s going on
I release: the guilt of not getting it all done, of not being perfect.
Here’s what I learned this week: life is precious. yes, i know this but i seem to also have to relearn it often.
What I love right now: I love that the days will now be even longer, i love that spring is around the corner and i love that I have a desktop at work now.
Weekly Review 2020 is a year-long project for 2020. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here.
Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I also have an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
The Girl With the Louding Voice (4 stars): I really enjoyed this book of a girl who despite her terrible circumstances is convinced she wants to get an education. Sold to a husband at the age of 14, she doesn’t stop in her quest despite one setback after another. It was hard to remember that despite living a very grown up life, the main character is just 14 as she goes through all these experiences. Sometimes she’s doing naive things and some times she makes mistakes. All in all, I am glad I read it.
Yes No Maybe So (3.5 stars): I enjoyed this sweet novel. The two characters were reasonably developed and had moments of being weak and moments of being strong. I also liked how several things don’t get resolved. There is always a need to tie up loose ends when a novel finishes. If it’s a plot driven story, I can see that might be necessary but in real-life things don’t tie up so easily so having a handful of things unresolved feels more right to me. Like Albertalli’s other books, I thought this was real and sweet and enjoyable to read.
Run Me to Earth (3 stars): Sometimes a book just comes at a wrong time. I could never get into this book or focus fully on it. So I didn’t connect with the characters. I still enjoyed my time with it and will have to go back and read it another time again.
Trick Mirror (4 stars): I picked up and put down this book several times before I finally read the whole thing. I am not sure why I waited so long. It was an excellent collection of essays that were well researched and we’ll written. Highly recommend.
Interior Chinatown (4 stars): I really enjoyed my time with this book. What a smart, funny, poignant and sweet book. Such a unique way to explore Asian-American racism and stereotypes, funny but not dark or ironic and also manages to be sweet and touching at the same time. Highly recommended.
Me and White Supremacy (4 stars): I will have to read and reread this book regularly. When it comes to these topics, I prefer to read wide and regularly. I can never learn enough and I have a long way to go. I listened to this on audio which I would not recommend. It’s a workbook, it’s best in print form.
Moon of the Crusted Snow (3.5 stars): I really liked the time I spent with this quiet, sad, and well written novel. The atmosphere in the novel was a big part of the story for me. The topics explored in the short novel still managed to be complex and the characters were memorable and textured. An unusually well done dystopia.
The Opposite of Fate (4 stars): I postponed reading this book because I thought it would be melodramatic and the reviews said the characters were one dimensional. For me, neither turned out to be true. This was well-narrated so the story seemed quiet and sad which rang true to me, but not melodramatic and over the top. I liked each of the characters and didn’t really think they were one dimensional. The whole story is centered around one event so you only see the characters through that lens for the most part, but I still thought the author did justice to the nuanced decisions throughout the book. At least for me, it was a good read.
And there we go, another week of reading in 2020.
Books I Read this Week 2020 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
I am not a naturally happy person. I work hard, I am reliable, I am kind, I am thoughtful, but I am not always happy. My default state of being is pensive, sad, and often worried. I spend a lot of my time hustling for worthiness and trying to earn the space I take up in the world. This is likely why I feel very drawn to people who can lighten my mood and quiet down my thoughts. At the very top of this list is my amazing husband.
My husband and I met and started dating back in 1994. He was always so happy and light and joyful. It didn’t matter how hard a day was, he would go to sleep and wake up like tigger: full of hope and joy and excitement.
Even now, twenty-five years later, he is still the light that fills up my life. He walks into the room and I feel like the sun is shining on me. Of course, he has his tough days too and he’s not always tigger-like but the joy my husband exudes is enough to fill both of us up most days than not.
I often tell him that he doesn’t even have to do anything, he just needs to be around me and I feel filled up with sunshine. I feel optimistic and grateful and happy. His presence alone is enough for me.
I am so grateful that I found him.
This year I am planning to do something different than last year. Around last September, I stopped taking a lot of daily photos which then meant I also stopped scrapbooking. I have several of the Story Kit’s piled up. So I decided to switch gears a bit and see if I can use Ali’s prompts to tell my stories. I might (or might not) also turn them into scrapbook pages. In the meantime, I will just enjoy telling my stories.
Stories from 2020 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here. The prompts are from Ali’s Story Kits unless mentioned otherwise. I have started an instagram account for these, we’ll see if I keep it up.
Weekly Intention: I get to travel for work at the early part of this week. I will be in Houston for three days with 60+ colleagues in a leadership training. Then I get to be home while Jake travels to be with his siblings. My intention this week is to be kind to myself. I’ve been struggling and I really need this reminder.
This month’s intention is:Wild Air: Go outside. Smell the spring air. The seasons are shifting again and it’s time to try new things, new places, take new chances. Pick one thing and go big. Drink the wild air.One more week left in February. I still didn’t make a list of people to reach out to and date nights to do nor did I make the exercise list from February. For March, I think my plan is to make a hike list and see how many we can complete. We also have to apply for our Whitney and Half Dome.
One way I will show up this week: focused.
I will go into the wild: I am hoping that Jake and I can take a hike this weekend and I also want to get out for 30 minutes every day.
This week, I will pay attention to: getting ahead at work, and starting the food plan.
One new thing I will begin this week: I am planning to start eating the wild again this week. Let’s see what I can do.
One magic I will create: Maybe I will give myself a celebration party for being done with the packet.
One thing I hope to release: I am actively working on acknowledging the anxiety and listening to the voices inside that don’t seem to be rational. Paying attention to what I say and what I hear and how I feel. First step to releasing is noticing, I hope.
One thing I will join in on: I have a trip to the kids’ school on Tuesday night which involves a community dinner.
One area I will practice being open: that it might work. just maybe.
I am looking forward to: having jake back.
This week’s challenges: just so so so much work this week.
Top Goals:
Work: finish perf. stay on top of email. spend some time with nbu and tokyo.
Personal: figure out a routine that works for me. journal. get into a groove. eat the wild.
Family: support nathaniel and david and jake. taxes.
I will focus on my values (love, learn, peace, service, gratitude): i am hoping the journaling will help me here.
This week, I want to remember: all the kind words i heard this week.
Living Wild is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here.
The Wildest Part of this Week was: Getting to be on the NASA observation room at the Johnson Space Center and watching the control room and the scientists at the ISS. How amazing!
Top Goals Review:
Work: did docs for draft 2. cleaned email. traveled.
Personal: did not figure out a routine that works for me. did journal. did not get into a groove.
Family: supported nathaniel and david and jake.
I celebrate: Traveling and coming home and supporting both my kids.
I am grateful for: finally committing
This week, I exercised: i didn’t do much this week, just a thursday night session with Jake but I did stand and walk a lot earlier this week
This week, I answered the Call of the Wild: Some awesome outdoor time in Houston. That will be it this week.
I embracedSilence of the Wilderness: Pretty solid journaling over the weekend and I am planning to do a lot more in March.
Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I also have an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
Weird (4 stars): “But believing that your weirdness is your superpower can also be hugely beneficial. There is evidence that thinking about your circumstances in a different way—a process called cognitive reappraisal—can help you cope with challenges better. Perceiving what makes you weird as being what gives you strength can, ultimately, make you happier. If you already possess the lemons of social rejection, you might as well make a really odd lemonade.”
I’ve had a mixed relationship with this book. From the get-go, I should have realized that maybe I was putting too much pressure and had too high expectations. I have always, always felt weird and lacked a sense of belonging regardless of where I was and how I got there. It didn’t matter if I passed exams, if I got promoted, if I made it through an interview, or if I was invited. I have constantly had a voice in my head that repeated that I just didn’t belong there. Regardless of where “there” was. And that I was different, weird, and would never just be like others.
So when I came upon this book, I was like: I will finally have all the answers.
I assume you can see why it might not be possible for this book to meet my expectations. And, alas, while it did not, it was quite a good book to read.
“When we hear a dissenting view, we think more critically about what we’re hearing.”
The book is full of stories. Many of the people in the book are different because of an outwardly visible trait. There are a handful of examples where it’s an invisible difference but many of those are also things like religion or cultural background, etc. and even though I am also outside of my country and culture, I felt this way when I was back home, too. The closest, maybe, example for me was the author herself and I appreciated her honest account of her own life and her own journey with feeling weird and the anxiety this has created for her.
There were some really wonderful bits in the book, ideas for me to try, ways in which for me to feel less alone about who I am and how I feel (which is where the comparisons to the book “Quiet” come from, I assume.) Seeing the ways in which others have found their ways around has been tangibly helpful to me. But, of course, there wasn’t the one true answer to how I could either feel differently or suddenly just be ok with who I am. No such answer exists.
‘I told Chloe that my boyfriend naturally takes criticism in the Joyable-approved way. “When you criticize him, he seems to say, ‘That’s interesting! I’ll assess your viewpoint along with all the other evidence,’” I said.’
I loved this because it’s a similar experience to how I feel with my husband. I think there’s a fundamental sense of belonging that many have which makes taking this type of feedback more palatable but if you don’t have that grounding sense of belonging, well everything is up for grabs.
There are two things I wish this book had more of. One is stories of people more like me. People who feel weird and different but not for any obvious reasons. That might be too much to ask and I understand that.
The second thing that I missed was the author’s summary of her findings, the book ends with a story and I found myself craving for the author’s distillation of all she learned, all she’d recommend, just one more reiteration for me. Many non-fiction books have this and sometimes it does get on my nerves but alas this time I found myself looking for it.
with gratitude to netgalley and Hachette Books for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
Perfect Little Children (3.5 stars): I was craving a fast-paced mystery this week so I started this story without knowing much about it. I knew it was going to have some craziness and hoped it would be enjoyable.
It totally delivered.
I read this one in a single breath. It was crazy, twisted, but also really enjoyable. The characters weren’t well developed, there was much suspension of disbelief and just a whole bunch of crazy. But I expected it all and wasn’t looking for anything else. So it was perfect for me at that moment in time.
The Holdout (3.5 stars): After my last crazy mystery I was ready for some more. This one promised the same kind of twisty mystery so I picked it up and started reading it. I enjoyed the twists in the story, a handful that I didn’t see coming at all. I liked the characters and the plot. It wasn’t deep or literary but it also wasn’t silly and completely unbelievable like some of these stories can be. It also didn’t assume the reader was stupid like some of the plot twists can do. All in all, it was another super fun read for this week.
And there we go, another week of reading in 2020.
Books I Read this Week 2020 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
Prompt: Learn – 02 | What are the big lessons you’ve learned so far in your life? So much wisdom comes from each of us sharing what we’ve learned up to this point in our lives.
I went to a leadership class a few weeks ago, for work. I am grateful to work at a place where I get the privilege of taking a week off work to focus on my career and have my company pay for and support me. I am even luckier to work at a place where there are so many smart, interesting, and kind women who support each other.
As I sat there grappling with what I wanted out of my career for the next few years, I realized that I was unable to answer this question because, for me, my career is never the part that matters most. I love working and I’ve been incredibly blessed to work at places that were full of smart, interesting people I could learn from and do work that I found interesting. And yet, what fills me up is how I do my life. When I lean into the parts of my life that fulfill me the most, I am at my happiest.
So for me to do work well, I have to first do life well. I have to be clear about what my life goals are and then figure out how work fits into that. This is an important lesson for me because in moments of my life where I have been unclear about this, I’ve always been unhappy and chosen to opt out of my career.
It’s time to sit down and design a life I want. Align on what matters to me and how I can make it happen. And then see how and where my career fits into that picture.
This year I am planning to do something different than last year. Around last September, I stopped taking a lot of daily photos which then meant I also stopped scrapbooking. I have several of the Story Kit’s piled up. So I decided to switch gears a bit and see if I can use Ali’s prompts to tell my stories. I might (or might not) also turn them into scrapbook pages. In the meantime, I will just enjoy telling my stories.
Stories from 2020 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here. The prompts are from Ali’s Story Kits unless mentioned otherwise. I have started an instagram account for these, we’ll see if I keep it up.
Weekly Intention: I get to travel for work at the early part of this week. I will be in Houston for three days with 60+ colleagues in a leadership training. Then I get to be home while Jake travels to be with his siblings. My intention this week is to be kind to myself. I’ve been struggling and I really need this reminder.
This month’s intention is:Wild at Heart: Take new chances with your heart this month. Try new date nights. Reach out to new people. Create new connections. Strengthen your heart with exercise. One more week left in February. Maybe I make a list of people to reach out to and date nights to do and maybe I finally make an exercise list.
One way I will show up this week: intentional.
I will go into the wild: not sure if I will have a lot of opportunity to go into the wild this week between my trip and jake being gone, so we’ll see.
This week, I will pay attention to: see if i can finish the handful of docs I have to write to be done.
One new thing I will begin this week: I am hoping to being both journaling and scrapping more regularly starting this week. Let’s see if I can pull of either.
One magic I will create: Hmm maybe some alone time in Houston…
One thing I hope to release: maybe this feeling that’s come over me that seems to be crushing my soul.
One thing I will join in on: houston will be all about joining.
One area I will practice being open: to the possibility that everything might turn out ok.
I am looking forward to: houston.
This week’s challenges: travel is always a bit challenging for me
Top Goals:
Work: docs for draft 2. clean email. travel.
Personal: figure out a routine that works for me. journal. get into a groove.
Family: support nathaniel and david and jake.
I will focus on my values (love, learn, peace, service, gratitude): let’s see if i can find my way back to peace again.
This week, I want to remember: i can do hard things and i am so incredibly lucky.
Living Wild is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2020 here.
The Wildest Part of this Week was: The climbing. We went outdoors climbing at New Jack City and it was totally wild. My second time outdoor climbing ever. My first time lead-belaying Jake. It was fun fun fun.
Top Goals Review: none 🙂
I celebrate: A really lovely time away from home.
I am grateful for: Recovering and managing to have a lovely time after the first terrible night.
This week, I exercised: We went on two hikes and an outdoor climbing session.
This week, I answered the Call of the Wild: so much outdoors time this week! Joshua Tree National Park and New Jack City and Palm Springs!
