What a crazy ride this book was! The blurb said it was a mix between Room and Gone Girl. I absolutely hated Gone Girl with a passion and Room made me super sad so I wasn’t sure if this one was for me but then I needed something fast and good and the reviews were so high that I decided I should give it a chance.
I didn’t stop reading it until I finished. The audio narration was excellent and the whole time I knew there was something messed up but I just couldn’t put my finger on it so I kept going, waiting for things to unravel. In the end, this was way better, for me, than Gone Girl though the Room-like parts did make me very sad but because it was in and out of that part of the story, it didn’t feel the same deep sadness Room felt like for me.
If you like psychological thrillers and weren’t triggered by the content of Room, you will like this one.
I had read that this book was fantastic so even though the blurb didn’t sound like my type of book, I grabbed it anyway. In the end, I am glad I read it but I do think it wasn’t my type of book. The pacing of the story is interesting because there’s so much action but also so much description so it felt both fast and slow. I liked the different characters and how complex they each were in their own ways. I liked how it didn’t feel stereotypical. The whole time I was reading it, I thought it would make an excellent movie.
We had parent-teacher conferences this morning. My kids have been doing school from home since mid-march of 2020. They have been home almost an entire year. Neither kid has seen a friend in that time in person.
No one.
As they presented their projects and successes and growth areas from the first semester of sixth and tenth grades, I kept feeling deeply grateful for everything. Grateful that they are finding ways to thrive despite these circumstances. Grateful that they are still finding ways to connect with friends and foster new relationships. Grateful that they are so resilient.
And grateful that we’ve been able to both be there for each other and give each other the space we need. We’ve had tough moments for sure and may still have many more but on the whole, we’ve all been making it work.
This wouldn’t have been anyone’s first or second or third choice. But we are here, and we’re finding ways to lean in and make the most of it.
Yes to leaning in. Yes to seeing them and the ways in which they shine.
I am a goal-oriented forward-looking person, I set goals and then I look ahead and find ways to make them happen. I am also reflective so I do take time and step back and assess and adjust etc. I try to look within and check in with myself.
But here’s something I don’t do nearly enough: really take a step back, look at the past and at the journey I took to get to where I am and the distance I’ve traveled. So I can see the progress.
The other morning, I walked downstairs when it was still dark and big boy’s computer, that he built from parts, was glowing. A year ago, he would barely maybe have been able to tell you the name of all these parts, let alone build a functioning machine out of them and install arch linux. He has come such an incredible distance in this one year that it’s unbelievable. It gives me hope that such a profound amount of progress is possible in such a reasonably short time.
It also reminds me of the value of making progress visible. I often only focus ahead.
It’s like hiking up a mountain. It’s good to be focused on what’s ahead of me and getting to the summit. But at some point it’s also good to look behind me and see how far I already traveled, so I can celebrate the progress and use it as a way to build faith in myself that I have what it takes to get the rest done. And most importantly so I can make all the work up till now really visible for myself so I don’t just gloss over it.
It’s so easy to move forward, get the next achievement and immediately set your eyes on the next one. Or to dismiss the value of some serious result I worked hard for.
So, yes to pausing and looking back at the journey and really really seeing and celebrating the distance traveled.
Today when I was done with work, all I wanted to was rest but I realized that the movement goals I’d set for myself require 45 mins of time daily. This is before walking or climbing. That means if I do less one day (like yesterday when I only did the bike for 20 minutes and that was it) I have a lot more to do the next day. And that I have no built-in complete rest days. I’m not sure if this will be sustainable but I’m going to keep trying for a while and be willing to be open to changing it as needed.
The nutrition goals I have seem to be going okay the exception of maybe water which I’m definitely not drinking enough of. I did find a good dinner option at least for now that allows me to increase my intake of vegetables.
Today there was no art or no journaling and still there’s been no meditation so some things are still suffering and I have to figure out why and whether I can put structures in place to make it more accessible for myself.
Overall I feel like this project is definitely on the aggressive side but not in an overwhelming way especially if I use it more like a guide than a rule book which is my plan pay more attention to wellness focus on the things you want to do try to do more of them and see what happens.
I’m definitely doing more exercise this week than I did last week and I definitely did more drawing and I definitely had more vegetables just those three things alone make this whole project worthwhile.
Found a potential dinner option! My meetings started at 7am today and went till 7pm due to grocery pickup which really messed the routine of the day. I still managed to draw but no journaling this whole week…need to find a way to make that more accessible.
No meditation either. Making progress on all the others and got back on the bike! So, overall a good day.
The last time I rode the bike was December 28 before I talked to the doctor about my sciatica. It’s been a month and my pain is still here but finally dissipating enough that today I decided I wanted to get in the bike and see how it felt.
I took it very slowly and did a scenic ride so I wouldn’t feel any pressure. My leg is aching a bit now but no sharp pain yet.
It’s been a hard journey and I don’t plan to go right back to the tough rides, but I am excited to be able to finally ride again and trying to remind myself to take baby steps so I can continue to do this.
Yes to slow ramps. Yes to beginning again. Yes to staying healthy!
It helps to encourage myself to get a variety of exercise classes so this way I do a lot of different ones over the week. Having goals also helps me plan what to do each day.
So far I’ve been able to do art everyday and I’m really happy to have restarted that. it helps to have my top expect the night before.
I have yet to make time for journaling for some reason I can’t seem to do it. Similarly I haven’t meditated once in the last week.
The cold showers are definitely not starting yet It’s too cold to even think about them.
I appear to be sleeping at least 7 hours every night.
I need to come up with a plan for dinner and waste out a little bit more protein to my diet. And some variety for lunch is also really helpful.
Tracking things is really helpful.
So far I feel good about this project. And that’s where we are on day three.
I know I seem to post a lot of flower photos. I am not really taking photos of anything lately except for the flowers all over my house so that’s all I have to share.
This morning I woke up at 5 am and couldn’t fall back asleep but I also refused to get out of bed, so instead, I lay there in the dark and listened to a talk with Byron Katie (at 2x speed of course because I can’t handle anything else at this point.) And it reminded me of how important it is for me to keep grounding myself in teachings like hers.
I signed up for a free conference early this month and I’ve been lucky enough to get to listen in on conversations with Kelly McGonigal, Sharon Salzberg, Jack Kornfield, and Byron Katie amongst others. It’s been such a gift to get to remember their teachings. Years ago, I used to listen to Tara Brach daily as I did art and I learned a tremendous amount from her and felt such a sense of calm and peace from the repeated practice. Even though I keep saying I need these repeatedly in my life, I rarely make room for it. Instead, I read books, I work, I don’t make room for re-learning.
After listening to Katie talk, I blissfully went back to sleep and slept until 8:30am. So grateful I chose to spend my morning this way.
Yes to slowing down. Yes to learning and re-learning.
