A while ago I wrote about a reminder I keep above my desk. “Will this matter in five years?” It’s a way I help ground myself in remembering how to prioritize the important over the urgent or even the irrelevant.
Another mantra I use all the time is: “it’s not about you.”
I can easily take everything personally. When someone around me is sad, angry, frustrated, or stressed, I tend to absorb the blame. Or find ways to make it my fault. Even when it clearly isn’t.
So I’ve been practicing saying “It’s not about you.” Sometimes I say it out loud. Sometimes I say it in my head as someone is speaking or as I read email. I need the reminder again and again because when I think it’s about me, I react and my prefrontal cortex shuts down. I cannot be kind or generative from that place.
And when I remember that it’s not about me, then I can approach with empathy and kindness because service is one of my core values and I love to help others.
The difference is substantial.
And honestly it’s never about me. Even when it’s a reaction to something I did or said, how others react is all about them not about me.
I painted for hours today and it felt exquisite. I didn’t have any goals, didn’t complete any pieces of art. I just used the gelliplate and had hours and hours of fun while listening to a book.
It’s not often that I give myself permission to just do something without an end goal. I tend to like finishing things. Checking off items. Today I did none of that.
I love going to the ocean and looking out into the vast horizon. It reminds me of how big the world is and how small my problems are.
The amount of time we spend on this earth is tiny. It’s so small and it goes by so quickly. It seems a shame to waste any of it on worrying about the small things.
And yet I don’t remember that as often as I should. As often as I wish I did.
Our evening took an unexpected turn when my husband’s leg was in a lot of pain last night after we left the movies.
A trip to the ER during vacation isn’t anyone’s favorite way to spend time and during covid times it means sitting in the ER for four+ hours all by yourself.
Even though it took him until 3am to see a doctor, it turned out that he had a bacterial skin infection so the long night was absolutely worth it.
Now we’re all enjoying our lovely little house in paradise by relaxing as much as possible. Powering our brains all the way down and letting our bodies rest and recover.
That’s what vacation is all about.
This is not the way we planned to spend this one but sometimes the universe has other plans and when the universe speaks, we listen.
Today’s been one of those days where I find myself context switching often. Major presentations at work, setting up tree people to come look at my fence, sitting on a work panel, setting up PCR tests for my kids so they can go back to school, packing, downloading data for my husband for an ML project at work, scoring my son’s test results, and 1-1 career conversions and more within an 8-hour window.
It’s a lot. And it’s the fullness of life. I am grateful to have this richness even if it’s hard sometimes.
Weekly Intention: I really failed on my intentions last week. Well mostly. I am still working on the boundaries. This week is a half week before I take some well deserved vacation. My intention this week is to ensure I can set things up to move while I am out and leave no one in a lurch.
This month’s intention is:August: Yes to Life: Time to get organized again, transitions are coming. Eleventh and Seventh grades. Get organized, plan, prepare and do what you need to do. Write down all your dreams. Make plans. I am working my way through this. I have bought new shoes for the kids, will buy more clothes and school bags etc. I am also hoping one more vacation will help us all start from a place of rest.
One way I will leap this week: vacations are always a leap for me especially if i disconnect from work.
One boundary I will set this week: i will not read email on vacation
One area where I will go deeper this week: rest.
What do I need to sit with this week? honestly i just want to rest and rejuvenate for most of this week.
I am looking forward to: our vacation.
Focus onCore Desired Feelings (lighter, kinder, enough, magic, wild): here’s to a week of lighter and magic and a little bit of the wild.
This week’s challenges: getting through the early part of the week without pain.
Top Goals:
Work: clean email, get cadence and strategy comms out the door, finish up perf reqs.
Personal: more journaling and art somehow, find another class, rest a lot.
Family: climb with J, get david to do class+ACT, do more SAT with N, adventure with all my boys
This week, I want to remember: everything will be ok and i will miss nothing.
