I’m finding that there are some things I can do in moderation in my life and then other things where it’s just too much of a slippery slope.
16 years ago when I wanted to get pregnant, I quit diet coke and was off of it for over a decade. A few years ago, when I was at work one day, I had one thinking meh it won’t matter.
Next thing, I was having one at work daily.
And then I told myself that I can have more but only when I am at work.
And then I would bring home 1-2 cans from work but since I wasn’t buying them I could say it was still leftover from ‘work’
And then, of course, I started buying them.
And now I drink 2-3 cans a day. Some days more.
It went from one time to buying cases in less than six months. This is one reason I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. I’m not sure I could do it in moderation.
So today I spent some time thinking about other things I need to just stop doing. Even if they taste good, feel good or whatever. There are a lot of ways to experience joy in life.
A lot.
I don’t have to receive it from something that also causes harm. So I will have to start making a list and eliminate things that cause more harm than good.
Yes to taking better care of myself. Yes to owning my own truth.
So grateful to have made it to this Friday. I worked a lot today but also got some meaningful work done. Not as much as I wanted (never as much as I want) but made progress.
Now I want to mark an official boundary to pause work and start personal time. It’s been even easier than usual for work to bleed into personal time as the covid life extends out to be forever.
At first it was emergency sprint mode, then it was finding some new adjustments and now it’s about finding a normal for at least six more months. We have no clear path to vaccination soon in CA and I have a kid under 12 so he has no vaccination plan at all yet. School is about to be over in 6-7 weeks and my office doesn’t open until at least September.
All this means at least six more months of some sort of weird covid life here. Which means that I have to draw some boundaries or by the time life opens up, I will be so burned out that it will not be easy to recover.
So now starts my weekend. Rest, relax, rebuild.
Yes to me time. Yes to boundaries.
(Photo is remnants of big boy’s photography homework)
I am grateful we made it Thursday. Even though I have a lot to do tomorrow, I have only two meetings and I am hoping I’ll be able to pace myself well.
We’ll see.
This was a long week and I can’t really even put my finger on why. I have felt depleted all week.
Feeling depleted starts this negative cycle because then I am too tired to eat well or make good choices. Sometimes unintuitively I even go to bed late during a week where I feel depleted. So I just keep making one poor choice after another.
So I am trying to put some checks in place to help. Midmorning healthy snack, middle of the day visits to climbing gym, breaks to walk outside, connecting with friends in the afternoon and closing computer when work is done.
Some help, some help less.
Realistically I need several days off so I can rest and rejuvenate.
Day two of cold showers was decidedly harder! But did it. I will say that 30 days in I am in a more mediocre place but still making progress and that’s what this is all about. Here’s to showing up every day!!
I was talking a colleague today about being reactive vs proactive. I tend to be proactive and organized and intentional about my life.
And that’s at the crux of the word ‘yes’ for me. Diving in, choosing to take this head on, designing the life I want.
Being proactive is awesome when you know what you want.
Then there are times or areas when I don’t. Where I am a bit lost or don’t have super strong opinions. And saying yes is also about receiving things. Taking what comes and reacting with openness and possibility instead of judgement and fear.
The unexpected always surprises you. And what you do with that surprise is totally up to you, too. So much of life is about how we receive it.
I want to get much better at receiving it with grace and enthusiasm.
Yes to receiving it with possibility, optimism and unbridled joy.
I had my first cold shower this morning and it was cold cold cold!!
I did it post-exercise this morning so I imagine tomorrow will feel even more painful. Let’s see!
In the wellbeing journey I feel exercise, food, meditation and skincare seem to be going reasonably well. I have more room to grow on drinking water and cold showers so let’s see how this goes!
I’ve been quite cranky for the last two days at work. I am not even sure why but I’ve been moody and everything is getting on my nerves.
I’ve experimented with several things: sitting outside, hosting talks, connecting with people I love, sleeping in, getting up early and exercising and a few other things.
They all worked for a while. But didn’t last or shift my perspective.
So finally we went to the gym today and I saw how they were setting new routes and I started climbing. Climbing is one of the very few things that completely gets me out of my head.
It’s just hard enough for me to climb a complicated wall that I have to be absolutely present. I can only hang on for dear life and figure out my next move. I have no room to think of anything and that’s my favorite thing about it.
Now I’m sitting at home and feeling centered and calmer (and more sore!) Here’s hoping this sticks and I can be less grumpy tomorrow.
Yes to getting out of your head. Yes to finding something that really helps me be present. Yes to climbing!
I had a tough day today. I couldn’t put my finger on the why but I felt frustrated and spent all day. I was annoyed with everything and wanted to upend my life completely.
I have a 24-hour rule for moments like this. Where I do nothing for 24 hours and then see if I still want to take drastic action in which case all bets are off.
Big boy has managed to rack up a lot of accomplishments in his short life and tends to have many academic accolades here in our house. So he gets celebrated often.
Little boy is still too little for many of these opportunities but this week he’s had his first big accomplishment and we wanted to make sure to celebrate it.
It’s not about the size of the accomplishment here in our house, it’s about looking for a reason to celebrate each other. As a type-A person, I find it very easy to move from accomplishment to next goal without acknowledging or pausing for too long.
And I want to make sure I don’t do that for my kids. It’s important to celebrate accomplishments, risk taking, stretching out comfort zones, and sometimes just making it through a tough day.
Big fan of celebrating over here. Big fan of remembering that there’s something to celebrate each week, each day. Taking a moment to acknowledge that and finding a way to cheer each other is so joyful.
I am not a fan of competing with others. I don’t subscribe to the ideology that there’s only so many slices of pie to go around. I think we each get our own pie. So today we celebrated little boy making his own pie a little bit bigger.
Yes to celebrating each other in big ways and small ways. Yes to cheering each other on.
