300 days into this year. This year for which I had so many hopes. This year which we spent getting tested and vaccinated and tested more. A year spent in solitary.
Alas, parts of this year turned out so much better than I hoped and others so much worse. Isn’t that life for you?
I discovered a new-to-me musician today and have been listening to his work nonstop and it has given me endless joy.
So grateful for artists who share their soul with us so we might have more color and joy in our lives.
Feeling calm and rested from a few days off. Lately I’m finding that I love moving slowly more and more. I notice my rushed thoughts or anxiety around no doing enough and I remind myself that I have all the time I need.
I say it out loud because I am also noticing that I need to hear myself say it.
As part of my one little word class, I’ve been doing affirmations for a few weeks and this is one of the ones that really resonates each time.
We had parent-teacher conferences today and it was really wonderful to hear all the teachers had to say about the big boy.
But what was even more magical to see was how excited all of the teachers were to talk about the subject they teach and how excited they were to see how genuinely curious big boy is. The teachers all love teaching these kids and seeing them learn and think and grow.
When I moved to America one of my big dreams was for my kids to have an excellent education. To have their curiosity be met with excitement and encouragement.
It’s been raining cats and dogs all day today. I haven’t left the couch except to exercise.
Reading two lovely books simultaneously. Every time my mind interferes to remind me of something I have to get done, I acknowledge it, thank it and let it go.
It’s amazing how much can change when you decide to change your perspective. I made a big shift a few weeks ago and it’s changed my whole life. If someone had told me that I could do this I would have laughed at their face.
I am a big fan of feeling my feelings. I like to name my fears and worries out loud. I know they are there whether I acknowledge them or not and whether I say them or not. I believe that naming them, saying them out loud and putting them outside of me is key to reducing their power.
It’s an important way for me to connect to myself and not to numb.
It’s also a step toward connection with others who might feel similarly so I can feel less alone.
So I am not a fan of dismissing or diminishing the feelings when they are spoken out loud. I try hard never to tell my friends or boys that what they are feeling is not a big deal and that there are people much worse off in the world. Or that if they voice their fears, that voice might bring them forth so don’t say it. I disagree with both of these philosophies.
Our feelings are real whether we acknowledge or not. Our lives and worries and anxiety and blessings are not part of a comparison game. We are allowed to worry and be sad no matter what. And naming our fears does not make the universe send them our way. For myself, I try not to encourage wallowing because I don’t think it helps me. But acknowledging and being acknowledged absolutely does.
How can I work through my feelings if I am not even allowed to say them out loud?
My favorite moments about life are always in the little moments. Snuggling up on the couch. Laughing in the car. Watching my kids play. Joking around in the kitchen.
