I don’t have anything pithy to say today. Except for maybe one thing: it’s always worth it to be honest, open and vulnerable. Not with everyone and not all the time but in the right amount, with the people who matter, at the appropriate times.
I find that authentic connection in nearly impossible without it and so much wonderful connection happens with it. It makes us all feel less alone in the world.
I wish more of us did it more of the time.
Yes to being honest and connecting with each other through vulnerability. It’s a superpower.
It was finally time to switch my Christmas decorations so yesterday with the help of my awesome husband, I got plants and pots and soil and created happiness.
I am working really hard lately to add small joys into my life and find ways to be present and in the moment.
Plants make me happy. Flowers. Fresh food. Sunshine.
Most of these things are so easy to achieve. And relatively affordable. So here’s to doing more of these simple things that bring happiness and joy.
I can’t get enough of the ranunculus and the season is slowly ending so I am enjoying them as much as possible.
I installed SSL certificates on my machine this weekend and a day later I realized some of the features I was using were now broken.
I spent four hours last night surfing hundreds of sites trying to debug my issue, staying up well past bedtime. Each time I thought to walk away, I figured the next two things I tried might work so I couldn’t leave.
When I finally gave up and went to sleep, I dreamt about the certificates all night. I thought about workarounds, alternative features. I did not get enough sleep.
After I woke up and forced myself to do all my exercise, I walked downstairs and started to look into it again in the middle of a meeting.
Within 20 minutes I had found and fixed the issue.
There’s a reason people tell you to ‘sleep on it.’ it’s advice I need to heed more often.
Yes to fixing my problem, yes to the power of sleep. Yes to having SSL finally.
I am tired and content right now. My mind is reasonably empty which is rare and lovely. I have many things to do and many things I am worried about.
But in this very moment I am not thinking about any of them. I am here, resting, listening to a good book, feeling my sore legs, arms and toes from tonight’s workout, and feeling warm snuggled under the pile of blankets.
Grateful for the quiet and grateful to be in this present moment.
Yes to being present and yes to doing things that help me be more present.
Today I was thinking about what I would like the next few years to look like. I have some big milestones coming at home with my older son starting 11th grade next year. And I think it might be time to lean in more with life vs work for a while.
I have to think about what that means.
What I do know is life passes way too quickly. I make a decision and then four years later I wake up down the path from that decision that I had no idea was going to be this long and end up here.
Time passes by and some things cannot be lived again. My kid is going to be around for two more years before he starts a path to his own life. I want to enjoy every moment of that. I will only be in my 40s for a few more years and I want to enjoy every moment of that.
I’ve been thinking a lot about roller coasters lately. When my older one started middle school, the head of school told us all that middle school is tricky and a lot happens and that our kids would be riding up and down a rollercoaster over these three years.
And that our job was to not get on the coaster with them. Instead to wait at the bottom with a plate of cookies and be there for them when they get off.
I’ve been thinking about this analogy for my life in general. I can easily get caught up on helping people around me and getting on the rollercoaster with everyone around me who is experiencing difficult emotions.
Which is not helpful. Because at the best case I am riding with them and now experiencing things too and thus less able to help. And in the worst case, I’m now on a rollercoaster myself, involving myself into a conversation that wasn’t about me, making it about myself and now I am involved and part of the problem too.
So lately, I’ve been reminding myself that this is not happening to me but to a person I love. It is not about me (unless they tell me otherwise) and the best way in which I can be helpful is by staying grounded and asking them what would help.
It works wonders when I manage to do it.
Yes to supporting the people I love. Yes to not getting on the rollercoaster with them. Yes to awareness.
I was walking to the car from the climbing gym today when I saw this drawing. Things feel like this more often than I would like.
There are many things going well in my life. And today’s news was a sigh of relief for a moment at least. And I am grateful for so much of everything I have. Everything I get to do and more.
And yet there’s still more to do and so much going on. And so much of living life anyway. I was doing email tonight since I was wildly behind from being away last week and everyone I emailed replied within minutes. Tons of others doing email at 8, 9, 10pm at night. We are all working all the time. My kids have not seen their friends or been to their school in person in over a year. My little one will get to celebrate his yet another birthday during a pandemic.
Things are “fine.” And yet…
Yes to acknowledging what is. Suppressing or ignoring things doesn’t help us move past them.
I’ve been looking for a way to have Turkish tea. There’s a place near our house that serves it and it’s so aromatic and reminds me so much of home.
I don’t know which tea it is so i found one on Amazon that can be used with a pot and made some today. Alas it wasn’t the one. It’s tasty but not aromatic.
Still enjoying it and the slowness it encourages in my life.
I don’t have much to say today. I am feeling calm and quiet. Likely still from vacation. I know next week will be stressful and busy so I am enjoying the calm while it’s here.
Here’s to sitting with the here and now and not paying down early to tomorrow’s stress.
Another good climbing day today. I was telling Jake on the way home that the sessions are so unpredictable. I could feel like today will be great and then it’s a disaster. And then other days I could feel like I have nothing left and the session could be fantastic. It’s completely unpredictable in advance.
Tonight was a fantastic session.
It also was a good reminder that most days are just as unpredictable in life and as such a particular bad day doesn’t have to be an indicator that the next day will be bad too.
Yes to good sessions and trying hard climbs. Yes to taking life one day at a time.
