It’s birthday season over here. Today is my nephews’ 22nd birthday. Yet another reminder of the passage of time and how lucky I am to get to see them grow into loving, kind and capable human beings. What a joy!
Sunday nights are usually not my favorite. But lately I am finding myself grounded and calm. This is likely the best gift the universe can give me.
Even though my 100 days of radical wellness has been over for a while, I’m still eating the greens and protein. I am drinking more water. I am exercising and doing art and journaling. And the restorative yoga continues to change my life.
I expect the next few months will bring a lot of change and uncertainty. Work, school, and reentry into life are all going to be transitions and I am usually not a fan of transition.
I plan to hang on to all this wellness I am grounded in and say yes to receiving it all with grace and an adventurous spirit.
Yes to what comes and yes to adventure. And yes to the guidance of calm.
Today I got to: exercise in the morning including cardio, core and meditation. Then I got to chat with a good friend which most definitely was the highlight of my day.
I worked for a few hours and then I went climbing with my husband. Came home and had a bunch more meetings for work. Then spent an hour discussing 11th grade course selection options with my son. And now I have to do some more work.
My day was all over the place but it was full. Life and work and family and personal are all mixed up at the moment and yet I am still trying to make sure there’s time and room for each.
As I get older and older, I am learning to let go of the idea that there’s a way “things are done” and embracing the fact that I get to do things my way.
I have to do some uncomfortable things in the next few months and I’ve been stalling and hemming and hawing instead of doing them.
And each time I postpone something that I know has to get done, it looms over me and I start worrying about it constantly. Sometimes the trick is to just do it. Like booking my stupid DMV appointment.
But other times, the trick is to find a way to move through it that feels doable for me. Maybe I am not ready for a conversation and can send an email instead. Maybe I send just one single email. Whatever it might be, doing in on my own terms brings the autonomy and control back to my own hands. I am not a victim of circumstance. I get to choose how this goes. And if I can’t do it the way others would, that’s ok too. I get to do it the way *I* would.
Today was Google I/O which meant I went to work again in person. It has been good and tiring to be at work. A lot of wonderful reminders of what was lovely about being at work and seeing people in person, even if behind a mask.
Also reminders of commuting, a lot of socializing, and just using so much energy. I had forgotten that feeling of walking in after being gone and feeling that overwhelming tiredness.
I am still feeling a lot of feelings about all the changes and find myself internally triggered many many times a day and then stepping back to tell myself it’s going to be okay and to take one step at a time and try to do the next right thing as Glennon often says. Just the fact that I am able to step outside of my experience while I’m having the experience is a huge success for me. So I am taking the wins where I can get them.
I don’t handle change all that well. I tend to thrive on routine and I like consistency.
This year at work has been nothing but change. Just when I get one routine going, another major change descends and I have to reconfigure my thinking and my structure again and again.
Today was the beginning of yet another change. I’m not loving it so far. It’s hectic and the ground under me feels like it’s shifting and I am just so tired of having to adapt.
And yet I am, of course, learning so much, too, and trying to remind myself that choosing yes was about being here now and leaning into what is.
So I am trying to breathe an extra few breaths and reminding myself that it’s all going to work out. Because it always does in the end.
And it’s not the end yet.
Yes to leaning in. Yes to being open. Yes to being uncomfortable.
The last member of our household got his first shot today.
I feel very lucky that little boy has just turned 12 and can now have his shot.
We drove around and waited for some time today to make this possible for him and I am grateful that it worked out. I am grateful that in a month or so he will be able to finally see some friends. He hasn’t seen a friend in person since last year March. Nor has the older one.
We all miss seeing people, hugging people and going on adventures.
Yes to staying healthy and yes to going on adventures again.
I drove on the freeway for the first time since last year March. I wasn’t sure if I’d feel too anxious but it didn’t feel terrible and I managed to make it there and back just fine.
I get to do it all over again tomorrow and then again Monday and Tuesday. I expect I will have it totally down by then.
I got a tiny glimpse at the life before all this and it was eerily familiar. All the same and yet all a little different. Seeing people. Having conversations face to face.
It felt good.
Yes to seeing people and yes to mk snacks and yes to glimpses of life.
I am still documenting daily life here and loving these small moments.
I seem to be feeling really tired and off this week. Just a lot to do and no energy to do it. So instead I am taking all the rest I can and all the grace I can give myself.
It helps that I am reading Andy Weir’s new book which is a fantastic distraction from life.
Little boy finally hooked up this little Arduino kit we got him for his birthday. Each button does something different and saves him clicks and work. It was cool to see how quickly he mastered this one.
I am completely wiped from climbing today and have nothing pithy to say at all. I am taking each day as it comes at the moment and using all my energy to do the next right thing I can.
