No matter how much I want to curl up in bed (which is forever!) climbing outside is always 1000 times better than the couch. Exercise, fresh air, togetherness.
I spent almost all day in the couch. When I noticed that I was eating the candy and cookies and chocolate at my table, I got up and cooked myself a pound of veggies so I could graze that instead.
I still ate a loaf cake later, too. But it felt good to get some veggies into my system. It also felt good to take a walk outside and it was quite cold so it felt great to take a warm bath when I got back.
This week ended up being a bit of a mess. I got exercise.and nutrition in but no water, and very little soul work. Thankfully I felt ok most of the week. But I absolutely need a new routine for journaling.
Now that I am exercising first thing, it’s taking up all my morning. I have no time for journaling and I already really miss it.
Its been a busy week. I did exercise and tried to eat reasonably well but I haven’t journaled, sketched, or done many of the other self-care acts that I wanted to this week. Tomorrow looks unlikely too.
But maybe I can do more this weekend and make sure I take extra time to journal and check in with myself. Since it’s a long weekend that seems feasible.
I really did not do well on anything but movement this week. And even the tracking is falling by the wayside. But it’s.ok I am making progress.
And here’s the best part: I am remembering what matters most and making choices That line up with that. I am choosing to show up the book club. I am choosing to take time to exercise. I am choosing to take a walk with my husband.
That’s what this project is all about So as far as I’m concerned it’s working.
Some things continue to be challenging here. I have now shifted my exercise to early in the morning but that means on days when I’m having a tight schedule everything else falls by the wayside. So no journaling and no art.
I’m not entirely sure how to fix this without waking up earlier which I don’t want to do since that compromises on sleep so that’s what I have to think about a little bit today.
I’m still really enjoying this project and making it visible for myself the progress that I’m making towards wellness so it’s making me very happy.
Making the invisible visible is always a good thing.
I walked over to the coffeeshop today just to encourage myself to do a long walk. When I got there I decided to get a coffee and a baked good.
The two options were either a brownie or a lemon cookie. I asked the barista which one she would recommend and she said she’s not a big chocolate person. I told her I was and she said well then she would definitely recommend the brownie.
As she handed it to me she said something along the lines of it being a treat that I deserved or maybe she said indulgence I can’t remember. But I do remember that I thought words matter and how we use our words also matter.
Calling the brownie an indulgence immediately made me think “do I deserve it?” I could tell there was a tape in my head that said well you ate all those vegetables earlier today so it must be okay. And then another voice saying you’re never going to be thin if you keep eating brownies. And yet another one saying you’re already almost 50 when do you stop worrying about these things. All these voices inside my head just from a single word.
I have been trying really hard to unlearn all of the tapes in my head about what’s a good food and what’s a bad food. I’ve been trying to pay attention to what I’m craving and just eating only the amount that I actually want. I’ve been paying attention to the words I use and the words others use.
It is so hard to unlearn things especially when they’re all around you all the time. And I felt really proud today for being able to catch all those conversations in my head and for being able to order the brownie anyway and eat only as much as I wanted and then put the rest away. And most importantly for not feeling guilty or ashamed or even daring.
It’s going to be a long journey for me to normalize all the foods and maybe it may never happen but this is also part of the wellness journey for me. Paying attention, noticing, being intentional. And as always giving myself grace again and again and again.
Today was mostly a rest day. I didn’t achieve all my goals this week but I did well and i.am grateful.
The best part of being in California is getting to walk outside in the sunshine almost every single day of the year. I decided to take advantage of it and got my audiobook to keep my company as I walked around snapping photos and enjoying the sunshine.
Here’s what I found out today. This project is working out for me amazingly well. I had a pretty tough week this week and I was still able to do most of what I want to do for myself and having this project is help me make the right choices.
I’m exercising more. I am eating better. I am taking time to connect with myself. I am taking time to do my art. And I’m trying to take better care of my body.
And when a day is exceptionally tough and I don’t do those things I am now giving myself so much more grace because I know that I do them more days than not.
This morning I woke up and did all my meditation and exercise before any of my day started.
And I am grateful that I did that because my day went downhill fast and now I have no interest in this project or doing well. All I want to do is lie on the couch.
But that’s ok and I can give myself grace and I am glad I moved my body this morning. Tomorrow is a new day and there will be more opportunities to do more.
Years ago, I took this class at work that was about how I used my energy and how I optimized around things that give me energy versus take away energy etc.
One of the things the teacher highlighted was that there were ways to stack up things that we wanted to do. For example, I might want time to connect with my kid and I also might want to get healthier so one way to do both is to go take a walk with my kid.
Last night I got to take a bath and relax and also at the same time talk to my mom and my nephew which checked off my connection bucket. This morning I got to listen to classical music and journal at the same time. It’s been interesting to see how I can combine some of these wellness activities that I care about.
now that I’ve experienced a few of these I think I’m going to look at them and see if there are more possible opportunities for stacking.
Things are still mostly going well and I’m trying to get a good balance between giving myself grace and encouraging myself to do more of the items on my list because they are all meaningful to me.