I’ve been thinking a lot lately again and like before I originally thought these would end up as individual posts but I can’t seem to find the time (or more like motivation) to sit and write it all out so I am going to try this quicker version instead.
17. I read a young adult book last week where the main character was in high school and she’s super popular. In the story, the girl is living her last day (she dies in a car crash) and then gets up the next morning to live her last day again (and again and again.) There are many plot points but the gist of it is that several small and big events happen on this one day and as she relives the day she changes events. The obvious part is that the small things we do (or don’t do) have profound effects on others (and us.) But the part that really really blew my mind was completely unrelated. At some point in the story, one of these super-popular girls (let’s call her L) does something mean (she writes something nasty and a girl’s name on a wall which then others copy all over the school.) Later on, as her friend is re-living her days she mentions that L had no ill-will towards this girl whose name she scrawled on the wall. The dead girl tells us it was completely random. She says in all likeliness L was testing a new pen and needed something to scrawl. It’s that random. That’s what struck me. I had a lot of mean friends as a kid and while some might have been a bit personal, most weren’t. They were random, they didn’t mean anything at all. Nothing. And yet, I’ve carried it and lived with it and defined myself around these meannesses for most of my life. I am sure I am not expressing this clearly because I promise you that it was life changing for me. It has shifted me to my core to have this realization and I am still digesting it.
18. Something else I noticed last week is that our dreams constantly shift and change. At least mine do. And it’s important to pay attention so that you don’t accidentally walk into some path that you’re actually no longer interested in. I had this realization because something I wished deeply for a year ago suddenly popped up in my life last week. It was an incredible opportunity, almost as if this person had read my wish list. And yet, when the opportunity came up, I felt no excitement. Actually I felt a little sad because I knew it had been such a dream and here it was coming true and I didn’t really care for it. It felt cumbersome. The important part here is to continually pay attention to the path you are walking to ensure it’s still moving in the direction you intend to move. Things change and if we don’t pay attention we find ourselves on a road we don’t really want to be on anymore.
19. This is a bit similar to the one above but another lesson I learned is that just because someone else is giving you an opportunity doesn’t mean you should take it. For me, especially in areas where I have less confidence, it’s really hard to turn down an opportunity. I always think “who am i to say no?” I feel like I am not qualified or important enough to refuse this person. The more important the person, the harder it is to say no. And, yet, just cause someone wants you doesn’t mean it’s a right fit. Just cause an opportunity came doesn’t mean you should take it. I’ve learned to step back and look at the opportunity carefully, think of the commitment in time, effort, stress and also the rewards and then make my decision. I might be a nobody but my time and effort are still valuable (especially since it means I will not be spending it on my loved ones.) Another lesson learned the hard way.
20. Another book I read this week taught me the lesson of how so many things that happen to me are actually smaller than they seem. The way things work is like this: something bad happens, i decide it means this one thing,from then on anything that’s even remotely related feeds my original idea of what it means and I let it grow bigger and bigger and bigger until it consumes me. For example: let’s say I am a writer wannabe. I send in a story, it doesn’t get picked up. I decide it means I’m not talented. From thereon, any even slightly negative comment on any message board, or from a friend just feeds my story that I am not talented. “She must have meant that I suck.” When I see another friend get published, it also means I’m not talented. It couldn’t possibly mean she worked night and day and submitted ten times more often than I did. Because my story is that I am not talented and I’m sticking to it no matter what. See the signs of self-sabotage here? I create a bad story and then I feed it forever. I realized how when I do this, I am basically looking for opportunities to feed my story. I make everything and anything about me. I don’t have to take responsibility anymore because it’s all happening to me and it’s all part of my story. Whereas if I didn’t have this story/idea, each event would be a single (likely) small and random instance. I wouldn’t even notice some and I would pass by the others. This taught me to pay attention to my stories. To how I am feeding them. To back up and pay attention so I can stop.
Random thoughts are occasional blathering by me. Here are part 1, part 2, part 3, and part 4 .
I thought it might be a good idea to review my goals at the end of each month and see if I am still making sure to prioritize them. I also thought this would be a good time to shift, adjust, add, take away as needed. So here we go. This is the list I posted on January 1, minus the few I deleted in Feburary, with status updates for March.
Family
1. Read and do workbooks with David daily (Project A Book A Week with David).
We’re on a roll here. We just found a series we really like and we’re reading our way through it for now. But I love all the books we’ve read in March, too.
2. Take photo of full-family and write updates weekly (Project Us Right Now).
Still going strong. I have scrapped so many of these already, too. This project makes me so very happy.
3. Write a daily diary of us + gratitude (Project Daily Diary)
So far, so good.
4. Start a family night where we all play games or watch movies together (Scheduled for Sunday nights 6pm)
We’re still doing this as well. We’ve played mostly math games and dominoes this month. David looks forward to them each time so I am really happy we’ve decided to do it.
5. Sign up for a mommy/me class with Nathaniel (this still needs to be scheduled)
Amazingly this still hasn’t happened. But now that Jake’s schedule is about to change, I might have him sign up for it.
6. Schedule minimum bimonthly date nights with Jake
We’re doing well on these. Date nights rock.
Health (Project Healthy For Life)
1. Do a combination of walking and running daily, work your way up to 5K a day
So far, so good on this one, too. I’ve exercised at least 2.8 miles every single day in March for a total of 86.8 miles.
3. Do strength exercises 3x a week
I still haven’t started this. I will likely start it either mid-April or post June once I’ve reached 3.1miles which is going to stay steady.
4. Track exercise+food+sleep+water using the fitbit
I am still tracking sleep and exercise. And paying strict attention to food.
5. Get minimum 7hours of sleep every night and 8 on the weekends
I am mostly doing well on this still. 7-8 hours most nights!
6. Eat at least one serving of vegetables daily and chicken/fish 3 times a week
Doing well on the veggies. Not eating enough protein.
7. Walk at least 8500 steps a day and work your way up to 10,000
I am doing ok on this as well. Not as high as I would like but now that the weather is getting better, I might add a 15-minute walk to my days which will take me to the 10,000 point, I think.
8. Walk/Run a 10K
This is still a November goal 🙂
9. I also want to work on the coffee+graham crackers intake but not sure of the plan here yet.
Bleh. I decided to put this goal on hold for now.
Art + Photography
1. Draw and paint a portrait six days a week (Project Six Portraits a Week)
This project is on hold for now but I did actually draw one portrait for my art journal.
2. Art journal weekly (Project Weekly Art Journal)
So far, so good. The weeklong daily is definitely my way of doing this for now. I love it to bits and do not want to do anything else. It fits me almost perfectly.
3. Sketch something small daily (15-30mins)
I didn’t do well on the sketch daily goal. I made a total of 7 in March. I am aiming for two sketches a week in April.
4. Go on a Monthly photo excursion alone or with a photo buddy
Amazingly I am not doing well on this. Not sure why. I will try to schedule some ahead of time now that the weather is more promising.
5. Write weekly extended photo articles on my blog
I am not sure I want this. The idea is not appealing so for now I am not doing it. I have been writing my thoughts in general though and I do like that.
6. Figure out for once and all if I want an etsy shop and what will go in it
no progress here still.
Scrapbooking
1. Create one layout a week just for me
I’ve been doing this. Sort of…
2. Do monthly The Girls’ Paperie layouts
Done done done.
3. Do monthly Pink Paislee layouts
I am all over this.
4. Do monthly Creative Therapy layout
Did several of them, all the way to July.
5. Do monthly Write.Click.Scrapbook layout + write one more week during 2011
Did all of them up until July.
6. Successfully teach all four scheduled 2011 classes at Big Picture Classes and the one I am a part of in Masterful Scrapbook Design
So far so good on this too. Still in the middle of teaching Finding Your Way.
7. Aim to do 5-6 guest design spots or classes (that I teach) this year
I was a guest for My Creative Scrapbook kit club for March. Between this and the two last month and the four classes, I met this goal already.
8. Submit to one magazine a month (maybe, I can’t decide if I want to do this just yet.)
I submitted in February and one layout got picked up but didn’t work out in the end. March didn’t happen. I will try for April. Not sure if I like this after all.
Reading
1. Read a book a week (Project A Book a Week)
2. Read one book with David each week (Project A Book a Week with David)
Both of these are going great.
3. Regularly attend both book clubs
I’ve sort of decided I might not want this anymore. One of them I still attend but one I might move to only attending occasionally. Still pondering this one.
Writing
1. Write at least one long thought/idea oriented blog post a week
I did well on this for March. Wrote quite a few.
2. Write one new class (if you have requests, please share)
3. Write one downloadable pdf for my site or etsy (if you have requests, please share)
I still haven’t done either of these.
4. Write+email a newsletter each month
Doing this so far! Next one goes out in a few hours 🙂
5. Possibly do NaNoWriMo (not sure of this one…)
We still have quite some time till November thankfully!!
I decided to add one more here mostly because it’s been so beneficial during January.
6. Journal at least 5 times a day. Even if just for 15 minutes a day.
I am still working on this. I am doing the art journal each night but I also decided that for April I will commit to long journaling at least twice a week.
Learning
1. Learn to draw and paint portraits (Project Six Portraits a Week)
On hold for now.
2. Take 5-6 online classes this year
I’ve already taken 8 this year. I believe I have no problem meeting this goal! I took Christy’s class in March. Taking her next class in May and taking Soul Restoration II in June. I will likely add more.
3. Learn to write an iPhone/iPad application (sort of out there but achievable – let me know if you have an app you want)
Ah. Still didn’t make any progress here.
4. Learn how to make a stop-motion movie
No progress here either.
Community (This is a particularly hard one for me.)
So this area was a struggle for me last month and I decided it might be best to revamp it. Here’s what’s left now:
1. Do a weekly-open house for Nathaniel’s moms group
Woot! I did this and it’s been a lot of fun!
2. Invite guests over for dinner at least once a month
We had a guest just last week. It was wonderful.
3. Go out to breakfast/lunch once a month (to work or elsewhere)
I have this scheduled for tomorrow, does that count?
4. Reach out to people I admire more often (leave more comments/send emails)
I’ve still been doing this in the form of offering help and will continue to do so.
And that’s it for March. Overall, I think I did pretty okay especially considering how stressful work was. Let’s see how productive April is.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately again and like before I originally thought these would end up as individual posts but I can’t seem to find the time (or more like motivation) to sit and write it all out so I am going to try this quicker version instead.
Here are part 1, part 2 and part 3.
14. Looking for the Quick Fix. This, too, has been on my mind a lot lately. We seem to have grown into a society of people looking for the quick fix. Learn Japanese in 24 hours. Become a master programmer in a week. Blah blah. These are not possible goals. Things take time. Dedication. Work. Becoming a master takes time. To me it’s a contradiction in terms. Trust me, I’d love to wake up tomorrow morning and be a master artist. Someone who can draw beautifully. But it’s not going to happen. Most of the people you see as “overnight” successes are people who are obsessively putting time and effort into their passion. Painting night and day. Writing for hours on end. Drawing again and again. When I study a new language I study for about 4-5 hours a day for months! Months. Gladwell famously mentions in his Outliers book that you need to dedicate 10,000 hours to something to master it. Break that down. An hour a day would get you 365 hours (ok 366 on leap years.) at that rate, you’d reach 10,000 in 27 years. If you do two hours a day, it’s still going to take 13.5 years. And when was the last time you put in two hours a day, every single day, into anything? I am a big proponent of “what you pay attention to blossoms.” And attention = time in our society. There are many things that are faster today. Like finding the meaning of a word or the original book a movie is based on, etc. You can google just about anything. But you still can’t shortcut life. If you want to be a good artist, writer, sports player, musician, programmer, physicist, you name it, you need to put in the time and the effort. Not just empty time either. Meaningful, purposeful time. Studying it, observing, growing, learning. I truly believe that. When I get frustrated with my sketches and how elementary they look, I remind myself I’ve put in maybe 10-20 hours so far. That’s 0.2% of 10,000. I’ve got a long way to go. Sometimes I need more perspective to bring me back to reality. It’s always about perspective. It also reminds me that where I spend my time matters. Very much.
15. Internet and blogs have brought real value into my life. I know it’s fashionable to bash blogs as a waste of time People who’ve inspired me despite not knowing them or ever having met them in person. There are people out there who share and I read and I get inspired to try things in my own life. Sometimes I succeed and discover something I never knew before or find a new passion. Sometimes it doesn’t work out but I am still thankful for having tried. But there are people who’ve tangibly changed my life. Heather is the reason I bought my first digital SLR. It prompted Jake to teach me more about photography. The camera led me to my first business. It brought on a passion I didn’t even know I had. I’d liked taking photos before but nothing like this. I learned so much about photography. Discovered a true love. I might or might not scrapbook my whole life but I will always take photos. It’s my passion and I put the hours into it, but Heather was the person who opened that world to me. She triggered it. Just by being herself. I am so grateful. Ali has inspired me in many ways but the most significant one is December Daily. Because of that album, I now always plan a million activities for my family during December. It’s become a tradition and something we all cherish so much. We owe so many of our adventures to this. So many amazing memories we will now have forever. December Daily is what triggered that for me. Ali’s pages and point of view also helped me look more closely at the everyday moments in my life. Tell our ordinary stories. This, too, has changed my life. It’s like getting to look back up on the “good old days” while they are still happening. It increases awareness, gratitude, and joy. Cathy, too, has changed my life. She is the one who triggered my “getting healthy” goal this year. Yes I am doing all the work but the trigger matters. The Nike+ made a tangible difference for me and I read about that in Cathy’s blog. Seeing her transform gave me hope. And now I have lost over 24 lbs in six months and I am the smallest size I’ve ever been in my life. More significantly I exercise every single day. With the exception of a brief hour with Heather, I’ve never met these people. We don’t regularly email or chat. But they have tangibly changed my life. If that’s not real value, I don’t know what is.
16. Self-conversation matters. I recently finished Christy’s amazing she art class and it made me realize something. As I watched her paint and stamp, I heard her say “oh that’s cute” or “i love that” often. I noticed that even if she made a mistake, she wouldn’t beat herself up about it. She’d just work with it, around it, or try to fix it. She was easy on herself. She enjoyed the process and was generally happy. When I create art, that’s not how it goes for me. I generally beat myself up a million times. I feel like I’ve ruined the piece a good ten times. I have to stop myself from stopping and chucking it away. I feel like it’s all just proof that I suck at this. It’s like I am waiting all along to be proven right that I am no good. Isn’t that terrible? Watching her made me realize that I’ve noticed others be positive, too. People enjoy the process. They build themselves up and see possibilities. I need to focus on that. Focus on patting myself in the back, cheering myself on. Being more positive. Feeling like I can do this. And giving myself permission to learn. To explore. I talked a lot about the “little girl” in my Finding Your Way class at BPC. The little one that lives inside each of us and the one who’s full of energy and hope and creativity and ideas. The one where most of the good stuff comes from. I feel like when it comes to art and mixed media I squash mine a lot and often. I am not kind to her. I need to work on this.
and there we are. that’s what’s on my mind lately.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately again and like before I originally thought these would end up as individual posts but I can’t seem to find the time (or more like motivation) to sit and write it all out so I am going to try this quicker version instead.
Here are part 1 and part 2.
9. My kids can teach me so much. I’ve noticed a lot of things my kids do that I can learn from. For example, my little boy is very persistent. When he doesn’t know how to do something, he keeps trying and trying and trying until he gets it. More significantly, he doesn’t beat himself up each time he fails. He does sit there and bash himself when he stumbles and falls. He might cry if it hurt, but he doesn’t act like “I can’t believe i fell again! I am such a moron.” He gets up and runs again. And again. He also eats what he loves first. He doesn’t save it for last like I often did. I’ve learned over the years that if I save my favorites to last, I end up eating everything even if I am full, which is not good. My kids are not afraid to ask for help. They do like to do some things by themselves but they also feel comfortable asking for help. They don’t worry about looking stupid or being judged. They just know they can get it done better or faster or more correctly so they ask for help. They know it’s a part of the learning and growing process. They communicate. Often and clearly. They tell me what they are thinking and they are persistent I listen. They also teach me to have more fun. They spend their time doing what they love. If something starts to get boring, they move on and do something else. I tend to spend a lot of my free time doing things I’ve told myself I should do. There’s balance here of course but I do need to spend more time enjoying the moments. There’s no saying how life will turn out, might as well have a bit more fun while I can.
10. The Switch. I’ve learned, over time, that I have a switch inside. I tend to be really nice and kind to most people. I assume the best of them etc. etc. I’ve had many people be mean to me over the years. But I don’t mind the obvious mean people. What I do mind is people who are subtly mean. Who start taking advantage of me. Who end up being two-faced and unkind. I am not sure how and why it happens, but I tend to assume the best of a person until one day they do something (often something seemingly small) that makes me realize how they’ve really not been nice all along and sort of been taking advantage of me little bit at a time. Or just that they are not actually nice. And then the switch flips and I can never see this person in the same light again. I am hurt and broken inside and there’s almost nothing they can do to get me out of that bad place. It takes a long time to get there but once I am there, it’s like I can’t get out. Now everything that comes from this person is filtered through my negative opinions of him/her and I assume the worst and I assume unkindness. I think both are flawed. No one is nice all the time and no one is mean all the time. People are human. I think when I look up to someone, I often make them bigger than they are. They are almost sure to fail me. So I do need to watch for that. But I also need to pay more attention so before it even comes to the switch point, I can reach out and communicate or slowly distance myself so that the switch never comes on. This way, I still have a chance to cool down and see things without positive or negative filters.
11. Looking for the Good. I know I’ve talked about this before. But I always come back to it. Especially when thinking about #10 above. I have a way of getting to that bad place. Thinking everyone hates me. Hating myself. Crushing myself with my own judgements and words. Reading into everything everywhere and making it about me and about how I am failing at things, failing the people I love. I can go on and on. I’ve learned over time that most of this is a reflection of how I feel about myself. My default place is the insecure place where I need affirmation and support. However, there are times I feel in my element. I feel strong. Comfortable. Then I see things more positively. So I am making a point of looking for the good lately. I am trying to remind myself. Just like the practice of gratitude, looking for good in your life, in people’s words and actions changes my minutes, hours, days and life. If I feel lost, I try to play with my kids who, I am so happy to say, are joyful little boys. They remind me that life is beautiful. They laugh at the sound of music and make silly faces. So I am going to make a point of looking for the good. Choosing joy. I seem to need regular reminders. But that’s ok. I will remind myself again and again for as long as it takes. Because this is important.
12. Rest and Restoration is Important. I am not good at slowing down. I like being busy. It makes me happier, more productive, more fulfilled, etc. But I also am learning to appreciate the value of rest. For me, it’s not as related to how much I did as much as it is about my stress. I could do a lot of stuff but not feel stressed out and so I don’t need rest. But if I do something that really stresses me out, has me on an edge for days, I invariably need to rest. I need to restore all that energy I spent. I need to go back to my place of happy, relaxed comfort zone. If that means I lie on the couch and read that’s ok. The thing I do often is that I beat myself up for not doing the items on my todo list during these times and then I don’t do them anyway. I just make myself feel bad. So instead of doing something I might enjoy, I punish myself and tell myself that if I am not doing this item on my todo list, I should not get to do this other fun thing. Instead I do nothing. I waste the time altogether, whining and feeling tired. What a waste. I’ve decided that during these times, I will give myseld permission to just do something I love. It might be reading for a whole day or just sitting and playing legos with my sons. It might be spending the whole day on pinterest. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as I am choosing it and I am not beating myself up for it. Anything that helps me rest and restore the energy is ok to do. Some of my best ideas come when I let go and relax fully (just like some of my best ideas come when I am working hard. Extreme situations seem to bring forth creativity for me.) So here’s to letting myself rest without scolding myself.
13. Passing Judgement. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. I wonder why we’re do wired to pass judgement. Where does that come from? How does that protect us? How does it help you to bring someone else down? Why are people mean? I know there are times people are jealous and let that seep out with mean comments. But why? How does it make me feel better to say something mean to you? If I have no money and can’t go on vacation, then I see that you’re going to Hawaii and I say something like “It must be nice to be able to go to Hawaii.” That made you feel terrible but how did it help me? Do I get some kind of a physical release or a happiness boost from having torn you down? I truly don’t get it. Genuinely. I can understand the instinct behind jealousy. I can understand the curiosity and wanting to know about someone else’s drama. What I don’t understand is how making them feel bad actually help you feel good. I have personally experienced how helping someone can make you feel good. It can lift you up. Does hurting someone also lift you up? For me, it always makes me feel worse. Like a crappy person. And now I’ve made them and me feel bad. What’s the point of that? I am not being flippant here. I swear I don’t get it. I would love some explanation on this one. I am not saying I am always good but I do try not to deliberately break people. I genuinely feel good for others when they reach their dreams and goals. I don’t think their success makes mine any less likely. On the contrary, I now see it as a reachable dream. Sure I feel jealous sometimes, frustrated, wonder why not me, etc etc. I’m human. But I don’t think that making that other person feel bad will actually ever help me feel better.
there you go. a bit of what’s on my mind. more coming next week.
Several people have asked what I thought about the Soul Restoration class and instead of writing the same stuff again and again, I thought I’d post it here. Remember that these are just my personal thoughts.
I’ll admit that I wasn’t sure I needed to take this class. For the first time in many many years, I feel like my soul is in better shape than it’s ever been, so I wasn’t sure what it would do for me. I mean, I knew I could always use more work but I didn’t feel like I needed it. Not like sketching and painting and drawing, all of which were calling to me with more urgency. But I’ve been reading Melody’s blog for a long time and the way she writes really speaks to me strongly. It moves me and makes me feel empowered and inspired so I knew I was going to miss out if I didn’t try. Since I have little kids, getting away to go to Brave Girl Camp wasn’t an option for me. So when this opportunity presented itself, I had to take the plunge. I was taking 4 other classes at the same time and this was the one I thought I was least likely to learn “new things” in.
I could not have been more wrong.
I would have to say this is easily one of the best classes I have ever taken. Ever. One of the ones I learned the most in and grew the most in. I am the kind of person who pays attention. I would say I am aware. I listen to myself. I watch and observe and try to learn and grow. And, still, I learned so very much about myself in this class, it’s almost impossible to explain how much. I had revelation after revelation.
Here are some basic details about the class: It’s 6 weeks long (though we had a bonus 7th week) and each week is several videos. Each video is 5-15 minutes but there might be 4 to 8 for each lesson. There are downloadables too but you really need to be able to watch the videos, the content is in the videos. So you need reliable and good internet access. Then, each week, there are projects. You can make them as artsy as you want or not at all. There also are journaling prompts each week. Around 15 or so each week. You are strongly encouraged to journal the ones that speak to you. You are also encouraged to make something called truth cards. (I have only made one of these so far but it’s in my list for April or May and I will definitely make them because I know it will be very very powerful.) There are many many many technique videos, too. On art, journaling, etc. There’s also a community where you can share, listen, support, ask questions, etc. That’s the basics.
I will admit that I didn’t participate a lot in the community. I had limited time and decided early on it would be easy to sink it all into the community and not do any of the work but I wanted to do the work, so I chose that. Other than that, though, I did everything. I watched the videos when they went up (I excitedly awaited each one to be honest.) I did a lot of journaling. I did all the art. I used one journal to do everything in and here’s what it looks like now.
I think the single biggest thing that helped me was the journaling. The art was powerful, too but not as much as the journaling. The journaling made me keep it real. Dig deep. Art was also like that. Just not as deep. But maybe that was because I did the journaling first each time.
Here are all my posts about the class so you can see how much I grew and learned each week:
Week 1 – Soul House
Week 1 – TruthTeller (It looks like I never posted this one. The art is below.
Week 2 – My Timeline
Week 3 – The Two Karens
Week 4 – She Did it Anyway
Week 5 – The Good and the Bad
Week 6 – Where the Peace Is
Week 6 – Promises
Week 6 – No More and Focus On
Week 7 – Daily Soulwork
Here’s the Truthteller page:
I should have written about that one for a long while, too. Apologies.
What made this class great was that if you actually sit and did the work, it was impossible not to learn and grow. It’s genuine, it works. I will admit that I don’t have anything truly horrible that is going on or went on in my life. I cannot speak for how hard it is to handle all this inward looking if you have. If you need real help, you should be seeking it with a professional of course. But if, like me, you like to be inward looking, more aware, and want to free your soul, this is the class for you. You have to commit to doing the work, though. Really really doing it.
I genuinely, deeply, truly recommend it. And I am so thankful that Melody and Kathy decided to finally do it online. I knew it would be truly transformative and, for me, it really was.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments, I will be detailed and truthful in my responses as long as you promise to remember these are just my personal opinions and your experience, of course, might end up being different.
I often see comments here and in other places I am about how much I get done. Like most things you see online (or even in the real world) your view is, of course, skewed. You see what I do get done, but you don’t see what I don’t get done. You don’t see the millions of little choices I am making or sacrifices to make sure I carve the time to do the things I want to do. I have written about this before, but I don’t think we can ever be reminded enough. My life is far from perfect. I yell at my kids. I fight with my husband. I fail. I get rejected. I cry. I worry. I hover. I annoy. etc etc. I’m human after all. I think I am pretty good about being honest (and not too whiny) here but feel free to tell me if I am not. Not even for a moment would I want you to think I’m anything other than a flawed person struggling and trying to do her best each day.
I am also very lucky in that I have a patient husband who forgives me regularly and with whom I’ve already shared 17 years of my life. So he’s patient and kind with me. So are my kids. They play a lot on their own. They listen to my requests. They are easy going and kind. They forgive me when I mess up. They also don’t have a lot of activities or playdates so I am not carting them around all day. I have a full time job so I work a lot and while my job is flexible and wonderful, it supports our family and I prioritize it over activities and playdates during the week. I don’t cook. I don’t clean. I tidy up, run dishwasher and laundry etc but those do not take the same amount of time of course. I have no idea where my iron is and I haven’t vacuumed once since we moved here two years ago. I have a wonderful cleaning lady who comes every other week and I am deeply grateful for her and the time that grants me. I rarely talk on the phone and rarely do one thing at a time.
So all this is to say that I do a lot and I don’t do a lot of other things. It’s all about prioritizing. Having said that, I’ve recently had some major revelations about what helps me get things done. I’ve also realized getting things done is a really really big part of me. Something that makes me happy. Some people get stressed with deadlines and long todo lists. I am the opposite. I thrive on deadlines and get frustrated when I don’t have a lot to do. So I have found ways that help me get things done and I wanted to share with you in case any of you are like me. Here’s some of what works for me (these are not in order):
Schedule I am a strong believer of schedules. That’s why I have one here on the blog. I schedule my posts for specific days. It keeps me honest and it helps me schedule my tasks. I have daily, weekly and monthly schedules for things. For example, I weigh myself every Wednesday. Or I take family photos right after I exercise each weekend day etc. I find that scheduling a task makes it more real. It’s like a meeting. If it’s on my calendar, I show up and do it.
Organize Similarly, I make lists and organize myself daily. For the last two weeks, I’ve been writing a personal and a work todo list every night before I go to bed. This way, before I wake up and face that day’s disasters, I already know what needs to get done and I can get up and get one thing done before I check my mail or do anything else. During the day, I check off items and anything that didn’t get done moves to the next day’s list. (if it still needs to get done. sometimes they are moot by then.) I write my lists by hand but that’s cause i like to. I used to do them on the computer. I like the feeling of pen.
Do Anyway I wrote about this in the newsletter. I learned not to wait for inspiration to strike. If I scheduled something or if it’s on my list. I do it. I don’t wait to feel like it. I just sit and do it. Almost always a few minutes into it, I feel like doing it. So now, I just do it. No matter what.
Figure out the Frog I figure out the one thing that has to get done. If I did only one single thing on each list, which would it be? And then I do that first. For personal, it’s always exercise. If my exercise is done for the day and I dropped the ball on everything else, it was still a great day. The other thing about eating the frog first is that it puts you on a roll. It gives you a push and an adrenaline. So then you’re pumped and ready to get more done. So when I make my lists, I always identify the frog and underline it.
Choose Wisely Time is a limited asset. Not everything is going to get done. So I prioritize my life according to my personal goals. I don’t cook because I don’t like doing it and I don’t want to spend my precious time on it. I feel like as long as I give my family a nutritious meal, it doesn’t matter if I cooked it. I use that time to do art, to read to my son, etc. It’s personal to me. Some people love to cook. It calms them, it’s bonding time, etc. That’s great. I don’t judge at all. I just think you should spend your time on your own choices. Not what you think you should do or what you feel guilty about etc. We all have things we have to do but we also get a lot more choice time each day than we’d like to admit. Choose wisely.
Discipline This is one of my strongest assets. I am very disciplined. Sometimes I want to read longer but I remind myself that it’s time to move on to something else on my list. It feels hard to tear away from the book, TV, game, whatever but everything on my list is something I cherish so once I start the next thing I am always happy. I just need to keep myself disciplined. I also work before I play. So I exercise first thing. Then I can relax and have my coffee. I read to my son before I read for myself. Etc. I try to stay very disciplined and focused.
Hold Yourself Liable And probably the most important one is that I hold myself liable. I value my tasks and make sure I do them. I look at my scrapping, reading, exercising, etc the way I look at my tasks at work. I would work hard not to disappoint my boss and I work hard not to disappoint myself. I set my goals and then try to have high integrity, even if just to myself. No one will care if I stopped doing my art journal. But I will and I value that as much as I would if it were someone else. If a task is becoming cumbersome, I revisit that priority and reassess. I might change it. I might even scrap it. But it’s always a conscious decision.
And remember, I fail often. These are just things I try to do. When I succeed, they are what make me succeed so I wanted to share. I hope this was helpful in some way.
I thought it might be a good idea to review my goals at the end of each month and see if I am still making sure to prioritize them. I also thought this would be a good time to shift, adjust, add, take away as needed. So here we go. This is the list I posted on January 1 with status updates for February.
Family
1. Read and do workbooks with David daily (Project A Book A Week with David).
Still doing well here. Even though David sometimes whines and fidgets a whole bunch, I think he’s really enjoying this project and now he hears references to things we’ve read and I can see how he’s excited. Like he heard “Emerald City” in a commercial recently and also saw a reference to Aslan and picked up on both.
2. Take photo of full-family and write updates weekly (Project Us Right Now).
This is also still going great. I bought a second remote since the first was not working and this one is great and we’re having a ton of fun. I can’t wait until the weather is warmer so we can try more outdoor shots.
3. Write a daily diary of us + gratitude (Project Daily Diary)
Still on a roll on this one.
4. Start a family night where we all play games or watch movies together (Scheduled for Sunday nights 6pm)
This, too, is going strong. We skipped a few weeks due to visitors and birthdays but we’re back on track now.
5. Sign up for a mommy/me class with Nathaniel (this still needs to be scheduled)
I haven’t done this though I do still think it’s a great idea. I need to work on it.
6. Schedule minimum bimonthly date nights with Jake
We’ve gone out on two date nights in February and have another one coming up. We’ve also had some date nights at home sitting together and cuddling.
Health (Project Healthy For Life)
1. Do a combination of walking and running daily, work your way up to 5K a day
So far, so good on this one, too. I’ve exercised at least 2.7 miles every single day in February for a total of 75.72 miles.
2. Complete the 100 pushups schedule
well this is off the list.
3. Do strength exercises 3x a week
I haven’t started this. Still not sure on this one. But won’t start in March. Likely April.
4. Track exercise+food+sleep+water using the fitbit
I am still tracking sleep and exercise.
5. Get minimum 7hours of sleep every night and 8 on the weekends
I am doing relatively well on this still. 7-8 hours most nights!
6. Eat at least one serving of vegetables daily and chicken/fish 3 times a week
Doing well on the veggies. Need to do better on the chicken.
7. Walk at least 8500 steps a day and work your way up to 10,000
According to the fitbit, my February average is pretty good. I am doing ok here. I should walk more and will try to add a 15-20 min walk a few times a week.
8. Walk/Run a 10K
This is more like a November goal 🙂
9. I also want to work on the coffee+graham crackers intake but not sure of the plan here yet.
Bleh. Still drinking 2-3 coffees but I am working on the graham crackers. I did not do so well in February, however.
Art + Photography
1. Draw and paint a portrait six days a week (Project Six Portraits a Week)
Drew them six a week all February. Likely changing direction for March.
2. Art journal weekly (Project Weekly Art Journal)
So far, so good. All Soul Restoration in February.
3. Sketch something small daily (15-30mins)
I am working on this. This is what might take #1’s space. I have sketched about 6 pages in February. I have plans for March too.
4. Go on a Monthly photo excursion alone or with a photo buddy
I did this but not with a buddy. Just as part of my trip with my inlaws.
5. Write weekly extended photo articles on my blog
Ugh. No work done on this one.
6. Figure out for once and all if I want an etsy shop and what will go in it
no progress here either.
Scrapbooking
1. Create one layout a week just for me
I’ve been doing this. Sort of…
2. Do monthly The Girls’ Paperie layouts
Done here, too.
3. Do monthly Pink Paislee layouts
And here. I am all over this.
4. Do monthly Creative Therapy layout
Did the layout for February and the one for March even.
5. Do monthly Write.Click.Scrapbook layout + write one more week during 2011
Did all of them up until May.
6. Successfully teach all four scheduled 2011 classes at Big Picture Classes and the one I am a part of in Masterful Scrapbook Design
So far so good! Both MSD classes are finished. So is Embrace Imperfection. In the middle of Finding Your Way now.
7. Aim to do 5-6 guest design spots or classes (that I teach) this year
I guested on Scrapbook and Cards Today blog in February and also on Making Memories. I have one more coming up in March. So far, so good.
8. Submit to one magazine a month (maybe, I can’t decide if I want to do this just yet.)
I submitted in January and one of my layouts got picked up for Scrapbook Trends. I also submitted a few in February. Let’s see.
Reading
1. Read a book a week (Project A Book a Week)
2. Read one book with David each week (Project A Book a Week with David)
3. Regularly attend both book clubs
All three of these are going great and right on schedule.
Writing
1. Write at least one long thought/idea oriented blog post a week
I’ve been working on these. I think I did relatively well with this in February.
2. Write one new class (if you have requests, please share)
3. Write one downloadable pdf for my site or etsy (if you have requests, please share)
I haven’t done either of these yet.
4. Write+email a newsletter each month
Doing this so far! Next one goes out in a few hours 🙂
5. Possibly do NaNoWriMo (not sure of this one…)
We still have quite some time till November thankfully!!
I decided to add one more here mostly because it’s been so beneficial during January.
6. Journal at least 5 times a day. Even if just for 15 minutes a day.
I am still working on this. I didn’t do as well in February as I did in January but I am still journaling and trying to make time for it each day. I’ve also begun a daily art journal in February and did it every single day. More on this coming soon.
Learning
1. Learn to draw and paint portraits (Project Six Portraits a Week)
Working on this one, see above.
2. Take 5-6 online classes this year
I’ve already taken 8 this year. I believe I have no problem meeting this goal!
3. Learn to write an iPhone/iPad application (sort of out there but achievable – let me know if you have an app you want)
Ah. Didn’t make any progress here.
4. Learn how to make a stop-motion movie
No progress here either. Though I have an idea.
For March, I am going to try to make a sketch a day. Let’s see if it works.
Community (This is a particularly hard one for me.)
So this area was a struggle for me last month and I decided it might be best to revamp it. Here’s what’s left now:
1. Do a weekly-open house for Nathaniel’s moms group
I just sent the email for this. So none in February but looking good for March.
2. Invite guests over for dinner at least once a month
We didn’t have anyone over but we did go into the city to have dinner with friends so that counts.
3. Go out to breakfast/lunch once a month (to work or elsewhere)
I did this in February and will aim for it in March as well.
4. Reach out to people I admire more often (leave more comments/send emails)
I’ve sort of been doing this in the form of offering help and will continue to do so.
And that’s it for February. Overall, I think I did pretty okay. Let’s see how productive March is.
If you’ve been reading my blog anytime in 2010 or 2011, you know that I write three things I’m grateful for each day. This practice of gratitude has had a profound affect on my life. There are many moments in a day, now, where I have to sit down to take in all the gratitude I feel. I am fragile and strong and overwhelmed all at once.
Needless to say, I am really thankful for my life. And I try hard not to take a moment of it for granted. I also want to pay forward, outward as much as I can. So, along the way, I’ve decided to offer help any time I see an opportunity.
In the name of full disclosure, I think I’ve done this my whole life. If I see someone sad, I offer help, I try to be there, I ask what’s wrong. If I know someone has a problem I can fix, I try to. I’ve been a counselor, a resident assistant, a teacher. I think I just like to help others. It’s, in fact, how I ended up with my husband but that’s another story for another time. Anyway, so I’ve always been a helper but I am more mindful about it now. I purposefully reach out and offer and I pay attention to what pulls me to help.
We’re not talking about donating money to a cause here. Or even volunteering with a non profit. I’ve done both of those but this is about reaching out to individuals (often ones I don’t know and ones who don’t know me) and offering help. Technical, monetary, emotional, whatever. And here’s what I realized: it’s harder to accept help and to offer it.
I am often very delicate when I offer it. I try to write my qualifications (if it’s technical help) and go on and on enough so that the person knows I am authentic. I am often annoyed about how much up front work it is. I wish there was a way to just write “I can do this, trust me. Let me try.” Or “I care. I want to help. I swear I am a good person.” and know that the other person will just believe me. But, alas, trust is hard. Especially when you don’t know the person. And accepting help involves a lot of trust. Even professional help.
I’ve had some people ignore me, some refuse, and others accept the help. In each of the instances where the person accepted the help, I’ve benefited tenfold. I’ve been able to experience the joy and satisfaction of making a positive difference in someone’s life. That’s a huge huge reward. I do not discount it for a moment. I am deeply grateful when the person trusts me enough to accept it. Even more grateful when it’s successful help. And ecstatic when “it all works out.”
So, despite the fact that it’s hard work (and sometimes fragile), I still offer to help. I wish and pray with each offer that the other person can feel my genuine-ness. I am grateful when they do (or they just decide to give me a chance anyway.) It’s now an active and solid part of my 2011 goals.
Offer as much help as I can to as many people as I can. And be open to accepting help when offered.
ps: i wrote this a while ago and since then I’ve read this wonderful article by kelly rae roberts who puts my feelings into words so eloquently.
Here’s a continuation of Random Thoughts I’ve been having lately. You can read part I here.
Here we go for more random:
5. Don’t believe what you see on TV. Ok this one is a complete side note but a few weeks ago, Jake and I went to the movies and there was this one scene were two people were having sex for the first time (with each other, not ever) and suddenly one said she only had 45 seconds and the other said “no problem” and so within that time, they both finished at the same time and it was implied that it was magnificent for both. It was a Thursday night and the theater was mostly empty. At the end of that scene, one person in the back shouted “Yeah Right” and everyone began to laugh.(sarcasm anyone?) Because, of course, it was so beyond unrealistic. It was almost ridiculous. But at the time, you didn’t really think about it. You were caught up in the scene. And this is so common in media these days. Giving us messages of “typical” marriages or relationships or intimacy. It makes everyone feel like they must not be the norm. They must be failing, messing up. Like how if you’re not a size 2, you’re fat. Consciously or not, we’re receiving these messages and trying to measure up. I think it’s terrible and wish they would stop feeding us these made up lies. I think if we all spoke the truths a bit more often, people could connect better and in general feel less messed up.
6. I’m Bad with Transitions. When I was at the airport for CHA, I noticed that I am bad with transitions. Sitting there and waiting for the plane was stressful because I kept wondering if I would get to carry my bags on and be able to fit it and who would sit next to me and on and on. I do this quite a lot. When I am on my way to something or somewhere I am often anxious and worried. Once I get there, I adjust and I am almost always ok. It’s the unknown that throws me off and brings in stress. I know this is common with kids and parents often have routines for transitions. Like going from dinner to bedtime or play to naptime or school to home etc. Maybe I need routines for my transitions too. More prep time. Maybe it will reduce my anxiety. I think it’s worth a shot. So for the next month or so, I will pay attention to when anxiety arises and try to see if it’s something I can establish a routine around. If you’ve done this, I would love advice.
7. Worry Lists I worry often and a lot. From huge things like something happening to my family to tiny things like oversleeping or doing some art badly. Worrying is a constant on my mind and takes up more room than I’d like and I often look for ways to get rid of it. I’ve mentioned the God Box idea before which I think is wonderful and I will do it. But I wanted more, so while I was flying to CHA, I decided to try something new. I sat down and brainstormed a long list of everything I was worrying about at that very moment. Big or small. Every single thing. Then a week later, I went back and wrote whether that item happened that week or not. And if it did happen, what consequences that brought. Were they as bad as I had imagined? Some of the items are long long term like something happening to one of my kids. For those I just check if something happened to them that week and then they go on the list again the next week. For others, they are short duration and get completely resolved that week. Like a meeting I am worried about. The meeting comes and goes and it’s over. So I can permanently get rid of that one item. The idea is that if I see week after week that a high percentage of my worries do not come true, maybe I will calm down more, worry less. If I see that nothing happened to my kids 98 weeks in a row, my senses of statistics starts kicking in and telling me it’s ok to worry a small amount less. Maybe. I figure it can’t hurt to try, right?
8. You’re not that special. Just like I am done with sarcasm, I am totally over the attitude of “i won’t do it cause everyone else is doing it.” People who don’t go to a place, listen to a music, read a book, etc. cause others are doing it drive me insane. What makes you so special. Are you above and beyond all normal people? Here’s a quote I found on Amy’s friend’s site that I love:
Andre Dubus III, author of House of Sand and Fog, another OBC selection responded to Franzen with, “It is so elitist it offends me deeply. The assumption that high art is not for the masses, that they won’t understand it and they don’t deserve it – I find that reprehensible. Is that a judgment on the audience? Or on the books in whose company he would be?”
This was in response to Franzen’s snubbing Oprah for picking his book. But I love this quote. What’s wrong with masses? Why are you so superior? I just don’t get this. Truly. I like the music I like and the books I like. Some of them are popular and others aren’t. This doesn’t make me less or more special. It just makes me, me. I feel that as long as you’re authentic to you, you’re special. And if you stay clear of everything “the masses” like, you can easily miss out on some wonderful things. Seems plain silly to me.
There you go. A bit of a brain dump for you. I have one more thing to write about but that’s for later. This one’s too long already and I am sure you’ve had enough of my thoughts for today.
So I’ve been carrying these thoughts around for weeks now. Some of them for months and I originally wanted to make a post for each but I’ve quickly realized that it will never happen. I will postpone it forever. So ,instead, I’ve decided to write paragraphs for each and clump them together. This might be one post or if it’s too long two, three posts. I will just write until I have nothing more to say or I am tired. I hope this doesn’t annoy you. They are not in any order at all.
1. Your Words Come True. Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” I think this statement is very pithy. It shows the power of your thoughts. Regardless of facts, your thoughts play a big part in the outcome of your actions. I firmly believe this holds true of your words, too. If you say you can’t do something, you likely cannot. But the power of words go even further because since they are often outwardly expressed, they end up affecting others around us as well and they start to believe what you say. If you say “I’m fat” enough times, people around you start seeing you as fat. If you tell someone you’re dumb, they stop thinking otherwise. I promise you, it works consistently. The number of times you need say it out loud might differ but words are powerful. They convince people eventually. So it’s better to say things that are empowering instead of defeating. Even if you don’t think you can do it, you can say “I can try.” or “I can give it my best.” That’s what I do with the exercise. I tell myself that I will give it all I have. That I can do it. I don’t always believe it, but I say it anyway. So this is for you, and for me, to remember that words have power. What you say comes true. It’s a way of calling things to yourself. So why not call the best?
2. Being Busy is not Always Bad. I always favor a long todo list. I like being busy and I like doing doing doing. For a while, I worried that this was my way of avoiding some deep issue. That I wasn’t ok to stand still and I would break down if I did. Or something. I am not sure what but it had me worried. And then I had a bunch of time off so I slowed down. A lot. I realized that not having much to do or not doing much didn’t cause me to breakdown. It caused me to be lazy. I sat on the couch and moved very little. I read. I wrote. I watched TV. But overall, I felt sad. Empty. Like I didn’t really have a purpose. I like having purposes. I like a schedule and todo lists. I like deadlines. I like getting things done. Not because I am running away from something but because I love the feeling of accomplishment. Even finishing a tiny task makes me happy. Rearranging my table. Finishing a layout. Whatever it might be. So I decided to stop worrying and feeling bad about who I am and what I do. I can sit still and read for hours and it’s great, but being busy is not bad. It’s who I am and I’m all about embracing who I am these days. So there we go.
3. I am not Fun.Here’s another one I’ve clung on to for years and years. I am not what you’d typically consider to be a fun person. I don’t dance, drink, do drugs, or go out partying. I talk a lot. (A lot!!) but I am much more of a 1-1 person. I prefer deep, authentic conversations. For the longest time, I felt bad about not being fun. When I saw people with lots of friends partying or having fun, I felt envious. But then I forced myself to think of what I am. I am authentic, reliable, loyal, kind, patient, and loving. Helpful. Genuine. I will do anything for the person I love. I read a lot and have a wide range of interests so I can talk about most subjects and have a wide variety of friends. So I don’t drink with them or go dancing. But I am me. And I am here. I think it’s time I made peace with that instead of desperately wishing I was everything I am not. Being consistent, dependable and loyal is nothing to sneeze at in a friendship. Right? They will just have to go drinking with someone else.
4. Sarcasm. I am so so done with sarcasm. I never got it. I think it’s a way to be mean without getting in trouble. It sounds mean, bitter and sometimes even nasty. What’s the point? I think it’s completely overrated. I’d rather have a kind, genuine friend who’s happy. Any day of the week. So if your thing is being sarcastic, I am letting you know now, that I am not going to respond to it. I will not feed it. I refuse to be a part of it. I think it’s destructive. And mean. There, I said it.
More coming next week.
I thought it might be a good idea to review my goals at the end of each month and see if I am still making sure to prioritize them. I also thought this would be a good time to shift, adjust, add, take away as needed. So here we go. This is the list I posted on January 1.
Family
1. Read and do workbooks with David daily (Project A Book A Week with David).
We’re doing well on the reading and have done it every single day except for the two days when I was in Los Angeles. I tend to read to him when he’s eating or when we’re waiting for the bus. We read longer on the weekends and then we’re generally just sitting on the couch. We haven’t done as well with the workbooks but that’s partly because I haven’t created a schedule for them. When he’s at school tomorrow, I’ll pull out the 3-4 new ones and put them on a rotating schedule which should make us stay more focused.
2. Take photo of full-family and write updates weekly (Project Us Right Now).
This is going wonderfully. I make a point of taking photos of all of us each day we’re all home. I am so glad I decided to do this project and so thankful that my family is being super-accommodating about it.
3. Write a daily diary of us + gratitude (Project Daily Diary)
This, too, is going well and I am making sure to do it each day. This is one of my favorite things to do so I take the time and prioritize it.
4. Start a family night where we all play games or watch movies together (Scheduled for Sunday nights 6pm)
We started this and have had one every Sunday except yesterday because I was out of town. All of us have come to love it and look forward to it each week.
5. Sign up for a mommy/me class with Nathaniel (this still needs to be scheduled)
I haven’t done this. I will prioritize it for February. I still think it’s a great idea.
6. Schedule minimum bimonthly date nights with Jake
We’ve gone out on two date nights in January and have some coming up in the next few days as well. So far, so good.
Health (Project Healthy For Life)
1. Do a combination of walking and running daily, work your way up to 5K a day
So far, so good on this one, too. I’ve exercised at least 2.6 miles every single day in January for a total of 81.06 miles.
2. Complete the 100 pushups schedule
I had started this and was doing relatively well but then it caused a huge TMJ problem so the doctor told me I wasn’t allowed to do it anymore. Hence this item will have to be stricken off.
3. Do strength exercises 3x a week
I haven’t started this. I am thinking I might change this to stomach exercises. Not sure yet. I will figure this out in February as well.
4. Track exercise+food+sleep+water using the fitbit
I am definitely tracking sleep and exercise. The rest not so much. Too much work for not necessarily equivalent reward.
5. Get minimum 7hours of sleep every night and 8 on the weekends
I am doing relatively well on this. If not 7, I definitely get at least 6.5 most nights. Actually I’d even say I get 7 most nights.
6. Eat at least one serving of vegetables daily and chicken/fish 3 times a week
Doing well on this too. Almost 5 days out of 7 I eat my veggies and I am still buying and eating the chicken throughout the week.
7. Walk at least 8500 steps a day and work your way up to 10,000
According to the fitbit, my January average is probably around 8,000. Actually closer to 8500 if I count CHA which was considerably higher of course. Still, this is an area I’d like to focus on some more.
8. Walk/Run a 10K
This is more like a November goal 🙂
9. I also want to work on the coffee+graham crackers intake but not sure of the plan here yet.
I bought some lemons so that if I am really craving more than the 3 cups of coffee, I can drink lemon water. But ideally I’d like to go down to 2 coffees at least. Not ready for this one, yet.
Art + Photography
1. Draw and paint a portrait six days a week (Project Six Portraits a Week)
Changed this one so it’s drawing only. But going great so far.
2. Art journal weekly (Project Weekly Art Journal)
This, too, is going great so far.
3. Sketch something small daily (15-30mins)
This is not happening at all. I have a sketch class coming up really soon and I am hoping that will do the trick to get me started here. I am still really really interested in doing this.
4. Go on a Monthly photo excursion alone or with a photo buddy
Sadly, I didn’t do this at all. I actually haven’t gone photographing in a long time. I will try to schedule one in the next two weeks.
5. Write weekly extended photo articles on my blog
This, too, hasn’t happened. I will brainstorm some ideas so I can get this going to at least once a week.
6. Figure out for once an all if I want an etsy shop and what will go in it
no ideas here yet.
Scrapbooking
1. Create one layout a week just for me
Well I must admit CHA sort of put a damper on that. However, I did make layouts for Little Yellow Bicycle and Maya Road, neither of which is existing design team work so I’m going to say that they count!
2. Do monthly The Girls’ Paperie layouts
Ahem I made 8 layouts and 3 projects this month using the new products.
3. Do monthly Pink Paislee layouts
And three layouts here.
4. Do monthly Creative Therapy layout
Did a canvas but I’m going to count that. And did two layouts for upcoming prompts as well.
5. Do monthly Write.Click.Scrapbook layout + write one more week during 2011
Did all of them up until May.
6. Successfully teach all four scheduled 2011 classes at Big Picture Classes and the one I am a part of in Masterful Scrapbook Design
So far, so good. The BPC classes start in the middle of February. I hope to see you there!
7. Aim to do 5-6 guest design spots or classes (that I teach) this year
Doing well on this so far. I have 4 classes total at BPC, 2 with DebbieHodge, I have guested for Little Yellow Bicycle and sort of for Maya Road, and have one more opportunity coming up. So far, so good.
8. Submit to one magazine a month (maybe, I can’t decide if I want to do this just yet.)
Well I am submitting. I’m going to. Soon.
Reading
1. Read a book a week (Project A Book a Week)
2. Read one book with David each week (Project A Book a Week with David)
3. Regularly attend both book clubs
All three of these are going great and right on schedule.
Writing
1. Write at least one long thought/idea oriented blog post a week
I’ve sort of been combining this with art journaling a bit and I wrote so much in the beginning of the month that I didn’t want to write after that. I have a long list of ideas here, though, just need to sit and write.
2. Write one new class (if you have requests, please share)
3. Write one downloadable pdf for my site or etsy (if you have requests, please share)
I haven’t done either of these yet. I will reserve some time in February to focus on them.
4. Write+email a newsletter each month
Doing this so far! Next one goes out in a few hours 🙂
5. Possibly do NaNoWriMo (not sure of this one…)
We still have quite some time till November thankfully!!
I decided to add one more here mostly because it’s been so beneficial during January.
6. Journal at least 5 times a day. Even if just for 15 minutes a day.
I definitely did this in January and hope to continue as my classes come to an end and my daily encouragement goes away.
Learning
1. Learn to draw and paint portraits (Project Six Portraits a Week)
Working on this one, see above.
2. Take 5-6 online classes this year (already signed up for one with: Misty, Stephanie, Ali, and Melody so maybe I should aim for more)
I loved, adored and cherished each one of these classes. I have already signed up for two more: sketchbook delight which is all of February and Recycled Journal Pages by Pam Carriker who I am a huge fan of and her class was January 1 but you can join anytime and it’s free so go check it out. There are two more Strathmore free classes there and I signed up for those, too. I haven’t just yet, but I know that I will also be taking Christy’s class because it looks irresistible. After they are all done, I will likely sign up for this mixed media class sometime in the spring. Yes, I have a problem. All this while I am teaching two classes in February (three actually) and another in May and one more in September.
3. Learn to write an iPhone/iPad application (sort of out there but achievable – let me know if you have an app you want)
Sort of working on this one. Chasing down some ideas. Nothing started yet.
4. Learn how to make a stop-motion movie
No progress here.
I meant to add more here. I haven’t been able to yet. But I am trying to learn to sketch, paint, draw, art journal so there’s a lot going on there. I might try something in the spring when I am a little less busy.
Community (This is a particularly hard one for me.)
1. Reach out to people I admire more often (leave more comments/send emails)
2. Invite one book club member out to breakfast/lunch once a month
3. Go out to breakfast/lunch once a week (to work or elsewhere)
4. Ask one of the moms in David’s class out to lunch/coffee once a month
5. Do a weekly-open house for Nathaniel’s moms group
6. Invite guests over for dinner at least once a month
7. Stretch: Do a get-together or attend one
I am embarrassed to say I’ve failed almost all of these. I have been reaching out to people but mostly to offer help. I have a long post I plan to write about this but I want to reach out more and offer help more in 2011. But I haven’t been leaving comments or sending emails for just praise. No breakfasts or lunches this month so far for any of the ones in 2-4. No open house yet but this will start next week. I have inlaws here this week. We have had two guests this month for dinner, so that’s the only one we have been doing. I really need to either reset expectations here or do more of these.
And that’s it for January. Overall, I think I did pretty well especially considering I had CHA to prepare for. Let’s hope February is productive as well.
As you already know, I’ve been taking Stephanie Lee’s class Shifting Ground. This class has been amazing. Which does not surprise me one tiny bit. Her previous class which I took in 2009 was also amazing. She has an incredible way with words. She is able to put my feelings, thoughts, worries into succinct and eloquent words. On Monday, she posted a long entry about the importance of regular journaling. Towards the end, she had a section about how some people worry that their journals will be found and read and if they write mean things, it might hurt the reader’s feelings. Here are some of Stephanie’s words (excerpted with permission):
If the people in your lives have doubts about your relationship with them and then they catch wind of you keeping a journal that you don’t want them to read, they will WANT to read it. Not because they care about what you’ve written as much as they want to know what is real and they want to know if their fears are real. No one wants to be in relationships that are uncertain even if you have no real problem with them in particular.
When I read these words, I was immediately taken aback by how true they were. I suffer from a lot of insecurity related to my relationships with other people. Because of my personal feelings of low self-worth, I tend to always assume that people aren’t really interested in being in my life but that they’re “putting up with me” for one reason or another. I am constantly paranoid that they are in the brink of walking out or they are talking behind my back. A good twenty years ago, I had people in my life like that. But back then I was a teenager and so were they. I notice lack of integrity (especially when it comes to friendships and popularity) is quite high during those years. And yet, despite many years of solid friendships, I still find myself paranoid, insecure, and scared. I feel uncertain in so many of my relationships. And even in my marriage sometimes. Mostly because I am so used to living with the worry of being left that I can’t imagine a world where someone wants to stay with me out of choice.
Stephanie then continues to say:
Live your life as transparent as possible. Reaffirm your commitment to those you love in your actions, words, and energy. They will trust that and be less concerned with the details of how you are able to maintain it. Let your demonstration of love – both for them AND yourself – be so strong and solid that there will be no room for them to doubt that what you are writing isn’t damning to them.
And this is exactly what I asked Jake to do for me this year. To be really honest and open. To spell things out for me that might seem superbly obvious to him. To let me know that he forgives me when I mess up. To assure me that he’s choosing to stay with me. I know this must seem sad to have to do after sixteen years of being together but it’s nothing to do with him or our marriage. It’s related to my personal fears and state of mind about life. I love what Stephanie said and I know for a fact that I am not the only person out there who is insecure in this way.
I took these words to heart and decided that I wanted to be better about my relationships, too. I want to make sure I am committed to the people I love with my words, actions and energy. I want to make sure my children, my husband, my friends know without a shadow of a doubt that I am committed to them and that I love them. I want to make sure there’s no room for doubt. There’s no reason to worry. There’s nothing but the strength of our bond. (And I love that she mentions love of oneself as well. I definitely need to work on that one.)
Even if it turns out they’re not insecure like I am, I cannot imagine anything but good coming out of this vow.
Thank you, Stephanie, once again for the weight and value of your words. Here’s to strong demonstrations of love and commitment.
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projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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