Well, it’s almost the end of 2011. Another year gone. I remember thinking at the end of 2010 that it had been a great year for me and that I couldn’t possibly do better in 2011. But I was ok with that. 2010 was great and it gave me the support I needed to tackle some newer, more ambitious goals for the following year. If I didn’t do as well, well that was okay, too. It didn’t have to get better.
But it did.
It got so much better. I feel like 2011 was significantly better than 2010 (which is saying a lot considering how I felt about 2010), in just about every way. And I am deeply, deeply grateful.
Projects
Like last year, I want to start by reviewing my projects (the title of each section links to the original post I made in December 2010 about the project I was undertaking):
Daily Diary:
I wanted to do a random photo, daily family photos, 3 gratitudes for me and 3 for david each day. I did this daily all the way up to a few months ago when I switched to posting weekly. The change was very conscious with the intention of creating the space for myself so that I could post more of the “thoughts” posts I used to do in the past. When I look back on the years of my blog, these “thoughts” posts are some of my favorites and I wanted to get back to capturing them more. Having the daily posts made it harder for me to do that. The weekly setup is working well for me and I plan to continue it in 2012.
A Book a Week:
As usual, this wasn’t a big problem. I love reading and do it as often as I can. With two book clubs, I have a lot of external motivation to read literary and interesting books. I have spent a lot of time reading Young Adult novels this week as there seem to be many good ones and I’ve given up reading anything that I consider unnecessarily sad. I am not sure how much longer this Young Adult novel kick will continue but I am ok with it so far. Whatever gives me joy is the motto I’m sticking to. I’m not reading so others can approve. I am reading for me. As it turned out I’ve actually read over 70 books in 2011.
Weekly Art Journal:
Well this has been a success if I say so. I had no idea how this project was going to go. I’d been scared of and interested in Art Journaling for so so long. I had no reason to believe this year was going to work any better than the past, but it did. It did! I’ve made over 200 art journal pages this year. I’ve art journaled consistently since February. I’ve created things I hated and things I loved and everything in between. I’ve taken many classes and experienced with so many mediums. And I’ve found my voice. At least one kind. I’m still playing with this but I feel so much better. I feel like this year has been a tangible step forward in art journaling for me.
Six Portraits a Week -> Daily Sketching:
Well this project morphed. It started with me wanting to learn how to draw faces, which I tried. I took classes, I practiced and I had mixed results. And then I got bored. I secretly wanted to learn to sketch so I changed this project to sketching. Which I did regularly since April. I’ve created over 250 sketches this year. I’ve used graphite, colored pencils, pastels, acrylic, and watercolors. I’ve drawn realistic, whimsical, landscape, portraits, and everything in between. I’ve created a practice. I still have a very long way to go here but I love love love sketching and I am deeply grateful to have picked it up. This is the area I hope to make a lot of headway in next year.
A Book a Week with David:
David and I read 52 books this year. Here’s our list. I am deeply grateful for this project. We read so many incredible books. We laughed. We shared so many moments. He loved so many of them and he is an avid reader on his own, too. For me, it’s some of the most precious moments David and I shared this year.
Healthy for Life:
Another huge success. I lost more than 20% of my body weight this year. I went from being on the top the normal weight range to the very bottom. I went down about 6-8 dress sizes. I started eating almost exclusively whole foods. And, most significantly, I exercised every single day this year. Every day. I am amazed to even write that sentence. I have never ever exercised for more than a week or two in my whole life. This was a huge change in my life. I am deeply grateful for it and very conscious of the effort it will take to keep it up. I’m fully committed to being healthier now and I will not destroy all the hard-work I’ve done in this space. Hands-down the biggest personal accomplishment I’ve achieved in a long, long time.
Us Right Now:
The biggest goal of this project was to make sure I was in more photos with my family. I wanted photos with me in them. And now I have hundreds of them. This project brought all of us so much joy despite the bickering and even yelling during the shoots. We tickled and laughed and made jokes. I love looking at these photos. I love their ordinariness. I love their imperfection. Most of all, I love that I am in them!! I cannot recommend this project enough to everyone.
That’s it for the projects I’d selected for 2011. I did relatively well with all of them and I am happy with how they turned out. I’ve printed all the cards and put them in their albums, too. All set to say good-bye to some and welcome new ones. A sign of a project that really works for me is that I choose to continue doing it. Like I did last year for the gratitude project. I carried the gratitude practice from 2010 to 2011 and will do so to 2012. I am carrying over almost every single project from this year to 2012. This, to me, is a sign that I chose well and have received a lot of joy from doing these projects. Let’s see how they turn out for 2012.
Goals for Each Priority
I had some other goals for 2011, too. Here’s a quick summary on some that are not mentioned and how I think they turned out:
- Start a family night where we all play games or watch movies. This worked out good for the most part. We did it almost regularly and I loved each of them. We will continue this for 2012.
- Take a class with Nathaniel We never did this one. Well, I tried one class but barely went which is rare for me. I disliked it quite a bit. We set a special mommy-and-me project for 2012 so I hope that will work well.
- Schedule minimum bimonthly date nights with Jake We did quite a few of these. Most of them were to the movies. I’d like more variety for 2012.
- Exercise & Food goals I had some goals around running a 10k, which I never did. I decided this is not a goal for me. I don’t really care to race. I just want to exercise. I also wanted to do more strength exercises which I still want to do. I need to focus on this one more. I did ok on vegetables and protein but could do significantly better. But I did finally manage to quit the coffee and graham crackers. (though in the last month, I’ve been drinking one latte a day but I plan to quit that before 2012.)
- Monthly photo excursion I totally did not do this one. I am not sure why honestly. Most of the non-family photos I took this year were of flowers. I like flowers okay but they are not my favorite subject. They were just the most convenient one. I’m going to have to think about this one a bit more and see what I want for 2012.
- Write weekly extended photo articles on my blog I’ll be honest. This is not something I want to do. I sometimes go through these phases where I think of things I “should” do on my blog to get more readers or links, whatever. But then I remember that this blog is mine. It’s my fun, my personal space and for me. It’s not really to make money or draw interest by doing something that feels painful to me. And, so I don’t plan to do this unless I can find a way that makes it fun for me.
- Figure out for once an all if I want an etsy shop and what will go in it Another controversial area for me. Something I felt like I should do but not something I want to do. So, unless some amazing idea comes to me when I am not looking for it, this one is shelved permanently.
- Scrapbooking After the tangible progress in 2010, I felt like 2011 was a quieter year for me and scrapping. I still scrapped quite a bit between all the assignments I had and goals I made for myself. But I certainly didn’t do it as much as last year and I haven’t been feeling the motivation to do so as much. But when I do sit to scrap, I find that it still gives me all the joy it’s always given me. I don’t know how this will evolve in 2012. I am leaving it be for now. I will be scrapping a lot in a different way for the savor project and i will have design team assignments. I am guessing those will keep me busy for a while until I sort out where I want the scrapbooking to go.
- Writing This is an area where I didn’t do as well as I’d hoped in 2011. I did start writing more thought-oriented posts and I loved doing those and I did my newsletters which also made me happy. Most significantly, I started journaling again and it’s had an incredible impact on my happiness. However, I didn’t write a new class, downloadable, or a novel. I don’t want to do any of these things. I think that if I don’t feel ultra-motivated to do it, I shouldn’t do it. Time is precious and I don’t want to waste mine.
- Learning I took a lot more classes than I’d intended. I loved most of them. I didn’t write an ipad app. I didn’t code much at all. I also didn’t make the stop-motion movie. I still hope to do that one. I have some audacious learning goals for 2012. I am scared of them. But that’s the idea.
- Community In the end, I did okay on this one. Not excellent but better than I was. I made some new friends. We had many guests over. This area is challenging for me and I hope to grow more in 2012.
Free
My word for 2011 was Free. I wanted to let go of the past and feel free to do anything I want for my future. I wanted to be lighter by letting go of the load I’ve been carrying around all these years and be free to do, be, feel anything.
Of all the words I’ve had so far, this one seems to have had the most impact on me. I truly feel freer than I’ve been. I’ve spent a lot of time and work on letting go. This area will always be something I need to work at but I’ve made leaps and bounds of progress here. More than I’ve made in 20 years. And I’ve made some huge leaps in moving forward too. Sketching, art journaling, trying new things. These are major leaps for me. Not telling myself that I can’t. Or that I have no talent.
Most significantly, I feel like I’ve become a lot more aware this year. I notice things I do. The ways in which I am not kind to myself. The actions I take as a result of some past history. I’ve been able to course-correct so much more often. I’ve been able to come up with coping strategies. I’ve been able to fix things, let go of things, and embrace things.
And the greatest gift of this year has been an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. Somewhere along the line I realized how incredibly lucky I am. How much I have in my life. And since that moment I’ve been feeling a deep sense of gratitude. I can’t even put it into words properly. It’s not just words. It’s a very powerful feeling that washes over me several times a day now. It often stops me in my tracks. It’s fragile and tender and truly wonderful. It allows me to let go of everything because the sensation of gratitude is so wide and so deep. It’s easily been the best gift of this year. I hope to hang on to it for the rest of my life.
And there we go. Another year gone.
Here’s to an even better 2012. May I savor every moment of it.
Like last year, after I thought about my word and my plans for 2012, I began to think more and more about what the word and the priorities meant. Since I tend to be self-reflective during this time of year, this is very long and mostly for my benefit (I like having a record of my plans and my thoughts) so feel free to skip. I won’t be offended.
By the way, this is influenced by Chris’s annual review article. I’ve read this before and have always liked the idea. I’m a technical person at heart and all these specific goals, measurable steps, etc. are right up my alley. Since I have my list of 9 priorities this year, I thought it would be a good exercise to see if I could come up with 3-5 goals for each.
So here we go:
Goals for Each Priority
Family
1. Read to David daily with a focus on longer, more involved books. (We will incorporate these into David’s Book of Good Memories)
2. Take photo of full-family and write updates weekly (Project Weekly Diary).
3. Write a weekly diary of us and daily gratitudes for me and David (Project Weekly Diary) and the gratitudes are on the left column of the blog.
4. Continue our family night where we all play games or watch movies together (Scheduled for Sunday nights)
5. Create letter-focused spreads and art with Nathaniel each week (Project Letters with Nathaniel)
6. Create at least one crafty spread a week with David about things that made him happy that week (Project David’s Book of Good Memories.)
7. Volunteer in both David and Nathaniel’s schools at least twice each semester. (I know this doesn’t seem like a lot but it’s the minimum I hope to do.)
8. Schedule minimum bimonthly date nights with Jake
Health (Project Healthy For Life)
1. Continue running daily, work your way up to 5K a day
2. Find a trainer so I can add basic weight-training and strength exercises weekly
3. Track the food I eat each day. (not fun!)
4. Continue using the fitbit daily with a goal of 10,000 steps a day
5. Get minimum 7hours of sleep every night and 8 on the weekends
6. Eat at least one serving of vegetables and protein daily
7. Start a meditation practice
Work
I don’t share much about work on my blog and I won’t here either but I promise you I have 5 specific goals for work for 2012.
Art
1. Sketch minimum four times a week (Project Weekly Sketching)
2. Art journal weekly using hand-lettering at least half the time (Project Weekly Art Journal)
3. Take at least three art classes
4. Experiment with at least three mediums
5. Try sketching using different sizes. (Really big+really small)
6. Focus on and hone one specific sketch style. (or two or three!)
7. Experiment with collage once a week (Project Journey into Collage)
Storytelling
1. Continue to create for my design teams (Maya Road, My Mind’s Eye, Write.Click.Scrapbook)
2. Create at least four pages (2-spreads) in my book (The Savor Project)
3. Design a class around different ways of storytelling
4. Aim to do 1-2 guest design spots or classes (that I teach) this year
Reading
1. Read a book a week (Project A Book a Week)
2. Read daily to David (longer, more involved books) (Project Reading with David)
3. Regularly attend both book clubs
Self-Reflection
1. Write at least three long thought/idea oriented blog posts a week
2. Journal five days a week
3. Take at least two self-reflection-focused classes this year (already signed up for Body Restoration)
4. Do the exercises in A Minute for Me, daily
Learning
1. Take two classes locally
2. Take four online classes this year
3. Learn to drive on the freeway
4. Learn to ride a bike
5. Learn to collage
Community (This is a particularly hard one for me.)
1. Go out to breakfast/lunch once a week
2. Invite guests over for dinner at least once a month
3. Extend an invitation to someone new once a week
4. Leave comments on blogs I read once a week
5. Respond to comments on my blog + return emails within 48 hours
There we go. As more creep up over the year, I will likely come here and add/alter as needed.
Schedule for Blog
I’ve also come up with a tentative schedule for my blog for 2012:
Mondays – Weekly Layout
Tuesdays – Weekly Sketching
Wednesdays – A Book a Week + The Savor Project
Thursdays – Weekly Art Journal
Fridays – Journey into Collage
Saturdays – Weekly Diary
Sundays – David’s Book of Good Memories(including Reading with David) and Letters with Nathaniel (we will alternate this each week)
I will also aim to post self-reflection/thought posts four nights a week. Likely Monday through Thursday.
And I haven’t decided whether I will continue the monthly newsletter or not just yet.
Thoughts to Cultivate
Last year, I created major focus areas I wanted to have throughout the year. Things that I want to come back to again and again. Some of these I will repeat for this year since I still would like to keep them forefront on my mind. And others are new for this year. These will likely show up in my art journals + self-reflection but I also want to have them here for reference.
1. Let go of worry This is definitely the biggest issue for me. I worry constantly and I worry about the smallest things as well as the big ones. Even though I know worry is a wasted emotion I still can’t help myself. I want to continue work on this very actively during 2012. I didn’t keep a god box last year but I plan to start on it this year. I also want to create worry lists from week to week (I mention the idea in number seven of this post.). I want to be very mindful about what and who makes me worry more and create tangible solutions to each.
2. Slow down and be aware I tend to be an over-achiever which is great but because I am so task-oriented and accomplishment-focused, I often rush through things. I am focused on the end and I don’t enjoy the journey. I don’t slow down. I don’t take my time, explore, learn, grow as much as I could. So my plan this year is to slow down considerably. Take my time drawing. Take my time reading and thinking. If some things don’t get done, that’s ok. I think that much more growth happens when we slow down and approach things mindfully. Since my word for this year is savor, this is something I plan to pay extra-attention to. One change I made from last year was to aim to reduce some of my daily tasks. My goal is to do 4 sketches a week and 4 art journal pages a week instead of doing 7 of each. This way I get a few days off and if I want to I can complete a sketch over two days.
3. Do not yell This one is self-explanatory. I absolutely hate hearing other people yell. And yet I do it more often than I’d like. This year, it’s a non-negotiable. It will not happen. It’s not a 5-10% thing. It’s all or nothing and the goal is nothing. People I love deserve my respect. (This is word for word from last year. I wish I could say I adhered to it. But, no. So for 2012, I want to be more resolute. Stronger. Kinder. Quieter.)
4. Be patient This one sort of goes along with 2 and 3. I need to practice more patience. I don’t need to rush through everything. I have young children. They are good good children. They are kind and generous and sweet. They deserve my patience. So does my husband. And me, too, I deserve being patient with myself. This, too, aligns perfectly with the savor theme.
5. Embrace joy I wrote about choosing joy before. Savoring is all about seeking the marrow of life. I want to seek joy. I want to quit worrying and embrace life and joy and bring forth good things in my life. Joy again and again. This would be so magical if I could do this. Just the idea makes me feel good.
7. Reach out I want to focus on building community more this year. Not necessarily a big one but one that makes me feel more a part of something bigger. I want my kids to grow and cultivate friendships and I want to set an example by doing the same. I am often too lazy or scared to do it. Time to let that go. This also means taking more trips, traveling, and in general getting out of the house more.
8. Be brave and self-compassionate I want to be braver this year. Try new things. Take chances. In all areas of my life. With art, with reaching out, with work, with daily life. And I can only do that if I practice more self-compassion. I want to be an example to my kids that we practice courage regularly. It’s not inherent. I want to show that sometimes we fail but we get up and try again. I want to move away completely from anything that encourages shame-words. I want to practice kindness and patience with myself. I want to show that failure is a part of life and so is showing compassion to oneself.
And there we are. I am sure more will come up. But these are some of what’s on my mind.
Here’s to hoping 2012 is fantastic for all of us!
Apologies for posting two reposts in one week. This is a post I wrote for Julie’s Art Journal Everyday series in November. It talks a little bit about my art journaling journey and process. I wanted a copy preserved here.
The first time I decided I wanted to keep an art journal was in 2007. I had a 7-gypsies book in my stash, I decorated its cover with a photo I took and my word for that year.
I was super excited to fill its pages. During the next few weeks, I made a few collage pages. Some inspired by artists I admired, others using techniques I’d learned in the classes I took online. After the initial 4-5 pages, I didn’t touch that book again until 2010. When I finally finished it last year, I felt a sense of relief. Three years of trying again and again, and I was finally able to finish one art journal. I’ll admit that it was a lot of effort. I spent every single day in November of 2010 creating pages, just to finally be done with the book. I remember feeling frustrated each day and while I was proud to have completed it, the book just didn’t feel mine. It felt like a collection of my version of other people’s techniques and styles. It was beautiful. It just wasn’t “me.”
When I made my list of projects for 2011, art journaling weekly was at the top of the list. I knew I wanted to art journal more (I’d wanted to art journal more since 2007!) but I truly didn’t have an idea what that meant. What exactly was art journaling? When I looked around to people whose art I admired, I saw a wide variety. There was acrylics, collage, watercolor, fabric, drawing. I can go on and on. Instead of feeling inspired by the variety, I felt confused and frustrated. I didn’t know what was “right.” Where should I start? What did an art journal really look like? I signed up for a bunch of different classes, all claiming to teach me how to “get inspired.” But they just managed to confuse me further.
And then, two pivotal things happened. The first one was a blog post by Julie. I had seen similar week-long pages by Judy Wise and admired them, but I had never before thought I could create them, too. Julie’s post and the way she broke down her process was exactly what I needed. So I purchased the same journal and immediately started doing my own week-long pages. I used a wide variety. One week it would be watercolors:
Then doodling.
Then acrylics.
And then back to watercolors.
This project was a great step for me in unleashing my inner-artist. I would create some background pages on the weekends and then each day, I did a little bit of stamping, some coloring, and some writing. It felt very doable and I had a lot of fun with it. You can see all my pages here.
As much as I loved this new weeklong project, it wasn’t enough. I wanted to create those beautiful, artistic pages I saw others create. I kept searching for my artistic voice. I signed up for every class I could find online. My second pivotal event was taking Christy Tomlinson’s She Had Three Hearts Workshop. I’d already taken a previous course by her and it was good so I signed up for this one thinking it would be fun, too. But it was so much more than that, for me. As part of her class, Christy demonstrated several different mediums. She used videos so I could see exactly how each medium worked and there were a few that I had never tried that spoke to me.
Her class finally gave me the inspiration to sit down and create some pages. (Instead of just looking at them, bookmarking ideas, and never creating.) I bought a few new supplies and started to create daily. Within a few weeks, I’d accumulated a bunch of pages and while I liked these more, I still felt like something was lacking. My pages looked off to me but I kept creating and trying these new mediums anyway. One day, I was talking to my husband and I asked him what he thought of my most recent page. He said it was pretty but that the colors looked a little muddy.
It’s going to sound weird but, for whatever reason, it was exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment. His words made me realize the problem I had all along! If you’ve ever seen my scrapbook pages, I always use a white cardstock background. I like the way colors pop out on white. And yet, when I sat to art journal the first thing I did was to paint my background. That’s what all the classes tell you to do. It’s supposed to help you overcome the fear of the “blank page.” But I hated the way blue looks against a page with a yellow background. I disliked that a colored background meant any layer I added didn’t have the true color anymore. So, the very next day, I used a white background instead:
And suddenly, everything clicked for me. I’d finally found my way. Throughout the next few weeks, there were several other things that fell into place to define my personal way of art journaling but it all started with that white background. It freed me to let go of many other preconceived ideas I’d gotten from my classes.
So let me walk you through how I create a simple art journal page today and all the decisions I make along the way:
The first thing I do is cut a piece of paper. I do not use a journal. I like my pages to be loose so I can stitch all over them, so I no longer use bound journals. This, too, was a big change from the classes I took. They almost always tell you to get a journal.
I then pick some stencils I like and happy, bold, heavy body acrylic colors and create my focal point. Yet another no-no for art journaling according to the classes I take. You’re supposed to do your background first and focal point last. Not me.
I rarely use water. I tend to take my dry brush, dip it in the paint and go for it. I like the look it gives on the dry paper. Oh, and I use watercolor paper and I never gesso. I like the texture the watercolor paper gives my page. I don’t like how gesso feels. Unless the medium desperately needs it (like acrylic ink!s) I will not use gesso.
So here’s how it looks after my initial step. I just used two stencils and then similar colors to create a bit of a border. It’s messy and not tidy:
The next thing I do is stamp my saying. Each of my art journal pages have a saying. A meaning, a thought. To me, it’s a crucial part of the process. I do the same thing with my titles on my scrapbook pages. It’s the meaning behind this page. Why I created this particular page on this particular day. Most of the time, it’s a thought on my mind. Very rarely, it can be a quote or a song lyric. As I was stamping this one, I made a mistake and I wanted to keep the photo so you could see that it happens all the time:
That “f” is supposed to be a “t.” So I used gesso to erase it (another advantage of a white background) and re-stamped on it when it dried. Here’s the page with the full title:
The next thing I do is use some of the stamps I have as texture and layers. I’ve accumulated these over time and I have a baggie of them so I can use different ones on each page. (Though I always seem to prefer the same few stamps.)
Here’s how the page looks once I’ve stamped on it some. This is another area where I make it my own. I have a stamp I use on every single page. It’s my “signature.” It’s the little “be you” stamp on the upper left corner of the photo.
I then added some pen outline to the butterflies and circles to tidy them up a bit and make sure they popped out. The last thing I do is stitch all around the page and I am done. Sometimes I might stitch on my focal point, too. But not this time.
You might find it too sparse or even boring. That’s totally ok. The thing about art journaling is that it’s personal. What speaks to me might not speak to you and vice versa.
After four years and many, many, many pages, I feel like I am finally finding my personal voice and style of art journaling. I create a page almost every day and most of them are simple like the one above. I love the process and the end result. Sometimes I vary the look and try something new. But most of the time, I stick to what I love and what speaks to me.
That’s the trick with art. Doing what speaks to you. If you’re struggling like I was, I recommend throwing all the “rules” you’ve learned out the window and trying some new things. Here are some ideas of what you can try:
1. A different type of paper
I tried everything I had at home and bought a few new things. I finally found one specific paper I love the feel of and now I use that most of the time. I also found I love watercolor paper and not canvas. I love loose paper and not bound.
2. A different medium (watercolor, acrylic, pan pastel, pastel, oil, etc.)
I much prefer heavybody acrylics. I also adore pan pastels. I use watercolor on my sketches, but rarely on my art journal pages. I do like the feel of watercolor pencils and have it on my list to try them more often. The medium you use can make a world of difference. Don’t go out and buy a bunch of things but see if you can find a friend to borrow supplies from or see if you can go to a local studio for open art time.
3. A different background
Try using white. Try putting tissue paper all over the background. Or stamping all over it. Try using black paper. Kraft paper. See what speaks to you.
4. A different order
Dare to do your focal point first. Do the journaling first. Or create a page with no focal point. With three focal points. Just experiment on your own with doing things in a completely different order so you can see what inspires you the most.
Most importantly, the best thing you can do is to keep creating. Before I discovered my way, I made over 200 pages. If I hadn’t made all those pages, I would never have discovered that I didn’t like the way the colors looked muddy. I would never have found the paper I like or the colors I prefer. Lessons and bookmarks are great inspiration, but you can only learn and grow by trying. By experimenting and finding your own personal preferences.
Give yourself the time and space to play and discover what feels authentic to you. Take it from me: you do not have to do it the way everyone else does. We are all different and we have the space to express our uniqueness; that’s what makes art so incredibly powerful.
Thank you for letting me share my own journey with you
This post was posted on the Big Picture Classes blog a few weeks ago but I thought it would be good to post it here, too. I hope you like it.
In Turkish, we have a saying. It loosely translates to:
“Drop by drop, it becomes a lake.”
This is how time works. Negligible amounts of time dedicated to the small task can end up amounting to tangibile, visible changes in your life.
I wanted to share some examples of my personal projects with you today. I will share three different examples with you. Just to show you that the idea applies across the board.
One of my goals this year was to learn how to sketch. I can’t draw at all but I’ve always wanted to. I loved watching people sit with a piece of paper and pencil and create works of art within moments. I saw other people’s sketchbooks and felt a strong desire to have my own. I was quite scared of this goal and postponed it for a while. Finally, on April 10, I decided enough was enough and I would start sketching every single day. Here are the two sketches I made on that day:
Yes, I told you. I can’t draw.
Alas, I kept trying. I dedicated 15-30 minutes a day to it. Every single day since April 10. I took other people’s sketches and tried to create my own versions. I used charcoal, colored pencils, pastel pencils, and eventually watercolors. I used photos as inspirations, too.
In the process I found artists that inspired me and I copied their work. Since I wasn’t selling anything and made sure to give credit, I didn’t worry about copying.
my version of the amazing sketch by Andrea Joseph:
Then I started to draw off of photos:
and finally moved to watercolors:
With just 15 minutes or so every day, I was able to improve my sketching significantly. To the point that I am no longer scared to sit and draw. Yes, I still have days where I hate my creations and I have a long way to go before I can use my own imagination, but I am no longer scared when I see something. I no longer think “I could never do that.” I know it’s just a matter of time, patience, and dedication.
All it took to have faith in myself (and to draw better) was 15 minutes a day.
Here are two more examples of how regular dedication of time can make a tangible difference in your life:
Another project I worked on this year was starting to exercise. I have never, ever exercised in my life. I don’t do any sports, and I don’t even know how to ride a bike. On October 2, 2010, I decided enough was enough and I would start exercising every day. I started with a one mile walk around the neighborhood and slowly increased to a 45-minute exercise of 2 miles of walking and 1 mile of running. As of July 2011, I had lost 32 lbs. I now weigh less than I did when I was 19 years old. Yes, I did watch what I was eating but I’d been doing that for years. What made this work was the 45 minutes a day I dedicated to working out. And now that my stamina is higher, I was able to change things up so I run 2 miles instead of walking so my 45 minute exercise is down to 21 minutes. I can use the extra time to be with my family.
And, finally for something different, my oldest son just learned how to read a year ago and he’s becoming more and more interested in books. I wanted to spend 2010 reading books to him to encourage his love for reading. Since I didn’t grow up here, I asked around a lot and made a list. It had most of the classics from Charlotte’s Web to The Wizard of Oz. I dedicated 20 minutes a day to read to him. Sometimes it would be during breakfast and other times, near bedtime. Just 20 minutes a day. I’d read to him and when we finished a book, he’d tell me what he thought of the book. (you can read more about the project here🙂 As of November 12, we’ve read 48 books together. Just 20 minutes a day.
So let’s summarize. With 15-45 minutes a day of dedication a day on each task, in less than one year, I was able to improve my drawing, lose 32 lbs., and read 48 books. If those are not excellent results, I don’t know what is. So next time you’re complaining about how you don’t have time to start something, remember that it takes a lot less time to accomplish a goal than you might think.
More importantly, what I learned when I was writing the Reclaiming My Time workshop is that you have a lot more free time each day than you think. All it takes is a good, hard look at where your time goes. I promise you, you will be surprised. As you can see from my examples above, taking just a few minutes each day to do things I value has changed my life. It made me more productive, happier, and more fulfilled.
Remember that how you spend your time is how you spend your life.
It’s been a rough few days here. Mostly due to work where I am trying to get some things done and there’ve been some challenges. But if you read here regularly, you know I don’t talk about work here. So this post is not about work. This post is about the fine balance between positive self-encouragement and negative self-talk.
I am fantastic on the latter. Not so great on the former.
The funny thing is, I firmly believe that I regularly work on improving myself. In many areas of my life, I try to be better. And not even better by other people’s definitions but by my own. I do the things I want to do. I work on the things I want to be better at. That’s why I started trying to sketch. Or even why I started to exercise. I didn’t lose the weight for my husband or mom or anyone else but me. I decided it was time and I just did it. While there are still areas where I falter often, I am generally pretty good at trying to tackle things I feel the need to improve.
Where I struggle is when I disappoint someone else. Or even when I think I disappointed them. (Often the other party doesn’t seem to care or worry nearly as much as I do.) I can’t seem to get over the feeling of how my inadequacy caused me to let them down. I beat myself up and go into the bad place of where I nonstop think that I am not enough. I worry about it so much that I become even more unhelpful. It’s no longer constructive.
When I look at other people who have the fine balance more under control, they seem to be able to say “That sucked, I’m sorry, I’ll do better next time.” They take notes on what to do (or not to do) next time.
And then they move on.
That’s the thing. That particular moment has passed. Even if I let someone else down, I cannot take it back. I’ve come to realize that’s the part that kills me. I so want to take it back. I so want to do better. I so want to be better. But the moment has passed. There is absolutely nothing I can do to take it back. And it’s okay.
It’s okay that I cannot take it back.
Anyone who’s decent will forgive me. Because when people see me, they can tell I care. They can tell I am working on improving and they can tell I would never intentionally let anyone down. I am confident that this is obvious about me. So instead of falling apart, what I’d like to do is stay on the constructive side of this fine balance. Be able to step back, take some notes, figure out next steps and try not to get myself into a similar situation next time.
I believe I can do this.
I believe this is what I need to work on. Not trying to do it right each time. Which is unattainable. But trying to stay on the constructive side of the fine balance between improving and feeling not enough. Knowing that I am always enough just the way I am will give me the perspective that I need to improve the steps so the same situation doesn’t occur the next time.
Yes, it all starts with knowing that I am enough just the way I am.
No matter what.
One of the things I’ve learned this year is to take time for myself each day. Whether it be to make art or to exercise or to just sit quietly and journal. It doesn’t much matter which activity I chose, what matters is that I am choosing to respect myself enough to show myself that I deserve some of my time, too.
As a mom, it’s often hard to choose yourself over the others in your life. As a working mom, I pretty much have a full plate of people to answer to all day long. My sweet husband, my precious children, my kind boss, and my amazingly talented workmates. All of these people are in my life every single day (ok so the work people tend to be more so on the weekdays, but still…) And they are all truly people that I like having in my life. People I chose. People I admire, love, and cherish.
But they are all demanding in their own way. Some out of need, others out of their love for me, and some for our combined goals. And I want to give my time to all of them. Not to mention friends, other family and loved ones, etc. When it comes to these people, I think we often feel an obligation to put them first. We often feel like we can give them all of our “good” energy and then we can make do with what’s left.
The thing is: there isn’t much left on most days.
You come to the end of the day and the work is over (at least for that day), the kids are in bed, and your husband is sitting next to you quietly working. Now is the perfect time to sit and work on your personal projects. Everyone’s taken care of and quietly content. Now you can focus on you.
Except you’re spent. You’re so tired that you cannot focus on anything and even the idea of putting clothes on to exercise is enough to make you shudder. You can’t even be convinced to do something you love like scrapping or doing art. You simply feel exhausted so you veg out in front of the TV or internet and crawl into bed when you’re tired enough.
And there goes “your” time.
You tell yourself, tomorrow will be different.
But it isn’t.
You work yourself to the bone every day. That’s what we do. We give to the people we love. We give to the people we feel obligated to give to. We put ourselves last because it seems like we can do that “later.” But I say it’s time to change that. I am not talking about a drastic “everyone can go to you-know-where” kind of change. I am talking about two 15-minute slots in your day. I’m saying for 15 minutes tomorrow morning you do something for yourself.
Maybe you take a walk or you make a sketch or you go out and take some pictures. Journal. Start a layout. Whatever your heart desires. Just for fifteen minutes. But it has to be early in the day. Way before you’re tired. Don’t worry about the todo lists or all the other people waiting. 15 minutes is not a long time for them. They love you.They trust you. They will wait.
And after those 15 minutes you will feel so good. You will feel like you took a little bit of time to take care of yourself. Luxurious time. Time you don’t usually allow yourself to take. And this will make you so much kinder and more generous towards those other people who love you and depend on you.
You deserve to take a little bit of time each day to treat yourself like a star. Give yourself some of that love and care you give to others, to the house, to your family. I feel like taking care of myself is a gift I give to my kids, too. They see that I value myself and spending time doing things I love. It shows them it’s ok to take the time to do something that gives you joy. It’s ok to take time to take care of your health. It’s ok to put yourself first a little bit each day. It makes me more joyful. And when I am happy, they are happy, too.
Because they love me.
So my wish for you is that tomorrow you take 15 minutes for yourself, give yourself some of that star treatment, and focus it on whatever it is you love to do.
Even though they say knowing is half the battle, sometimes it feels like awareness is more frustrating than not knowing. If I don’t know something I can blame a third party. I can live my life in blissful ignorance. I can avoid the issue. I can step around it. I can duck the pain because being aware can be very painful. It can sting. It can make you feel small. It can make you feel exhausted. Like the battle’s too big for you to even begin trying to fight it. Like you can never win anyway so you might as well duck under the pillow and not listen to the voices in your head.
But, of course, we all know that when there’s an elephant in the room, it takes all the space there is.
That’s how awareness works for me. Once I know, I can’t un-know. My brain constantly shows me examples of how I repeat that weakness or bad behavior. Sometimes I even see it coming and still can’t stop it. Because knowing myself doesn’t always mean I can stop myself from making bad choices or decisions.
But still.
As frustrating and frightening and defeating as it might feel, I am a huge fan of awareness.
I believe in making choices consciously. I am grateful for the power of having options. I like to know the cards I am holding so I can decide if I want to rearrange them, let one go, or even let them all go.
I’ve been teaching this class on time. And when you start to look at where your time goes, the instinct to self-reprimand is strong. Just like when you’re gaining weight and you sit down to write all the things you actually eat, you often feel ashamed of how much you do indeed lie to yourself all day long. It’s not the eating. It’s how you *think* you’re eating so much less (or differently) than you actually are. It’s how you spend three times as much time on the computer as you think you do. It’s how you can see that you certainly have 30 minutes to spare to exercise each day.
Truth can feel painful.
But it also gives you the power to run your own life. I can’t remember where I read it but I remember an article about newborn babies and how even they prefer to have the choice to make their own decisions. How important it is to have options and to feel like we’re in control (even at that young age.) So knowing where your time goes gives you the option to change it. It puts the reins back in your hands. The reason it feels overwhelming is because “With great power comes great responsibility.”
But the thing is, whether we like to face it or not, we are responsible for our lives. We’re responsible for what we eat, what we do, how we talk, the words we say, the actions we take. And the way we spend our minutes. We already have all this responsibility whether we like it or not. The great gift of awareness is that it gives you a clear view into how things actually are. So you can make your decisions with 20/20 vision.
Would you rather go at it blind?
I’ve decided to embrace the gift of awareness. Bring it on. It’s part of growing up and owning who you are. Living in your story. Making the choices and standing by them. Good or bad. I prefer to see things clearly and make all my choices with acute awareness.
I only wish it was as simple to have a clear picture of how things are in all areas of my life.
A friend emailed me earlier this week and said that she stopped making art because of unkind words. This particular friend had just recently found her wings and was creating a lot of wonderful art that made her soul sing. She was taking classes, learning new things, and, most significantly, creating a lot of art. She was so happy that I could feel the joy reverberate through the emails she sent me.
And then someone she cared about said these unkind words. I will give this other person the benefit of the doubt and assume she said them thoughtlessly, without being aware of the impact it would have on my friend. She probably just said the words and forgot all about them.
But my friend didn’t.
She was so crushed that she stopped doing art. Completely.
Completely.
She put her stuff away and just cried. And then busied herself with other things. And then cried some more.
When I first heard about this I felt enraged. I have experienced this same thing so many times in my life in so many different situations that I felt like it almost happened to me. Time passed and I reflected on it a bit (which was easier since it didn’t actually happen to me.)
In my experience, when something like this happens and I am confident about the subject matter, it doesn’t get to me. I generally get annoyed at the other person or might even say something defensive or mean. But if it’s something that’s still in its infancy or something I am just getting comfortable with, I am much more likely to give credence to the other person’s words.
Which is unwise.
I’d even go so far as to say, it’s stupid. This takes me back to my thoughts on qualifications. I’ve suddenly made this person’s words and taste more valuable than my own. Why would she know more than I do? Why would her taste and opinion be better than mine? Why why why?
Because I am looking for the bad. I am still evolving and still finding my way. I am not secure. I feel the need for external validation. But more than anything else, deep down, maybe I am scared that I am not good. And when someone, anyone, confirms that I am willing to believe them. Or maybe now that I am finally feeling more secure and someone I trust says such unkind words, it feels like I was punched in the face.
But just like everything else. This is all about me. It’s about my personal faith in myself. About how I make the other person’s opinions more valuable than mine. And while there are many areas where this makes no sense, art is probably at the very top of that list.
Art is subjective by definition. In a post I wrote for Julie’s blog, I said these words:
“Give yourself the time and space to play and discover what feels authentic to you. Take it from me: you do not have to do it the way everyone else does. We are all different and we have the space to express our uniqueness; that’s what makes art so incredibly powerful.”
That’s the great thing. Your art is yours and that’s exactly what makes it beautiful. No one else in the world can create it exactly how you can. No one has the same magical combination that you do.
And even more importantly, there’s magic in being in that joyful place where something you do lights you up. Where you go to bed thinking about it and wake up with the excitement of knowing you get to do art today. It’s the kind of thing that happens incredibly rarely in life.
Why would you ever let anyone take that away from you?
So I was thinking about my friend today as I sat to make my own piece of art. I was thinking how there are so many voices around us. Voices of perfect strangers whose art we admire and yet are too intimidated by. They stop us from even starting. Voices of loved ones who utter crushing words carelessly. Voices of loved ones who don’t utter anything (silence can speak loudly sometimes.) Voices of our own lack of self-compassion or confidence.
We are inundated with voices. And yet, there’s that small, tiny one inside us. The one that rises up from our soul. The one that might be the quietest but also the most important. The one that lives in our true essence. That’s the only voice that knows how we truly feel. That’s the one we need to pay attention to and foster.
Because that’s the only voice worth listening to.
So, my friend, if you read this, please know that the voice of your soul is what matters. It’s all that matters. Please, please don’t give anyone permission to crush it.
I had a conversation this morning that completely messed up my day. The funny thing is that I was talking to someone who works for me and was answering a question I had. He did nothing wrong at all. He was courteous and did indeed answer my question.
But after we hung up, I felt off. I felt small and not enough.
I felt like I wanted to ask him to explain the answer more deeply but felt too shy (inadequate, small, stupid) to ask. My first instinct was to be annoyed with him. But it didn’t take me long to realize it was all me.
I do this often.
There are times when my view of myself can get so skewed or small that everywhere I look, I only see people saying mean things. It can happen with anything. A coworker forgets to reply to email. A teacher doesn’t give my art feedback. Or even better, she will say nice things and then put an ellipses (…) and I will read into what the dots must mean. No one is free from my negative imagination. My husband, my kids, random person at the grocery store. It doesn’t matter who. Anyone can make me feel tiny during these times.
I have an excellent ability to gloss over the good and zoom in to the bad. It’s as if I am clinging so hard to this belief that I am not worthy that I will use any occasion to feed my belief. If anything is open to interpretation in the slightest way, I will slant it to the negative angle. Absence of information is negative and so is anything that is subjective.
Cheri in my class reminded me of this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt today: No one can make your feel inferior without your permission.
I believe this with all my heart. In the end, it comes down to inner strength and self-image. What we believe of ourselves is what we project to the world. People can only make us feel small if we let them.
And when I am in this bad place, not only do I let them but it’s like I’m forcing them. It’s like I am looking for the bad, seeking it, embracing it, encouraging it just to prove a point.
It took me almost all day to realize that it was the phone call that threw off the balance of my day. By then, I’d already found several other ways to feel bad about myself and had spent quite a bunch of time on the couch, pouting and feeling sorry for myself.
As I told Jake about the phone call and how it made me feel, he reminded me that the person on the other side was kind and truly happy to help. He had already told us we could call him as much as we needed. He wasn’t trying to make me feel small and if I had asked him to explain more, I bet he would have. Instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt, I assumed the worst of him and spent my whole day feeling bad about him and me.
Not to mention all the negative energy that I infused into anything else I did today.
I know that some people always look for the good in everything. People, situations, conversations. Life. I know that people like that annoy others. It feels fake. And maybe with some it is, but I know that with others it’s not. They genuinely have a positive outlook on life. I don’t know if this comes from a healthy dose of self-confidence or a healthy dose of optimism. But, either way, I’d like to be one of those people. I’d like to look for the good instead of the bad.
Imagine the joy this would bring into my life and to the lives of everyone around me.
This morning, as I woke up and started writing my journal, I realized that I was still feeling a bit off. Nothing specific was wrong but I felt out of sorts. I spent half the page writing about how I was feeling unprepared for December, frustrated, tired, worried, etc. I wrote that I hoped my December Daily would put me in the mood. I whined and whined.
Then I stopped.
I wrote that what I needed to do was to “slow down.” I wrote that if my goal for 2012 was to savor, I might as well start right now. By whining, I was wasting this very moment. I wrote that if I couldn’t do it for one month, I was surely not going to be able to do it for a year.
“Be quiet,” I wrote. “Calm. calm. calm.” (I laugh as I type this because seeing it repeated like that makes it sound not calm to me!) “Today I start to officially savor. Great way to welcome the best month of the year.”
And then my mood shifted.
David was making lunch for both himself and for his brother. He’d asked me if he could and I told him he was welcome to try. He was so excited to do something that I usually consider a chore. His delight made me happy. He did it all and did it wonderfully. I was proud of him and joyful to see him proud of himself.
After I dropped off the kids at their schools, my good mood persisted. I did my daily tasks, tackled work problems, drove to work, went to the offsite, came back home, put up the Christmas decorations outside, put the kids to bed and wrote my newsletter, all in a good mood.
I am smiling as I write this.
Almost nothing changed since this morning. I still haven’t done the many preparations I make for December. I am still behind and tired. But the difference is that I changed my lens. I am not looking at it through grouchy eyes anymore. I am letting it be. I am savoring the good. I am having faith that things will work out and that if they don’t, I will adapt.
Because you know what? I always do.
So instead of torturing myself ahead of time or reprimanding myself for being behind, or whining, I chose to pick up a different way to look at things. I believe we all look at the world through a lens. Sometimes it’s rosy and other times it’s gray. Sometimes it goes back and forth in a day. But almost all the time we have the choice. We can pick up the lens we want.
We have a lot more choice than we might like to admit. And today, I chose to let the gray one go. I chose to let myself off the hook. I chose to stop whining and start savoring.
And, today, it made all the difference.
I know we’re still over a month away from 2012. However, I generally use the time from Thanksgiving to New Years Day planning for the next year. I am already mentally done with 2011 and ready to think about the new year. And the first thing I like to do is choose a word to represent the theme for my year.
This year, I decided to share my word and my projects with you early in case one of them tickles your fancy and you like to do it, too. It also gives me a chance to get organized earlier. So as we wind down 2011, I will be sharing them with you. (I will also do recaps for my 2011 projects.)
I really struggled with my word for next year. As I thought about my projects and what I wanted next year to represent, here are a list of words that I considered:
- mindful
- grateful
- slow
- calm
- enjoy
- present
- joy
- thrive
- pay attention
- appreciate
Gratitude has been a big theme for me since 2009 and I loved the idea of putting it upfront and center. But it wasn’t enough. I felt like I really embraced my word for 2011 and I wanted the one for 2012 to be just as powerful. While gratitude is a powerful concept, I felt like I was already embracing it and I wanted to challenge myself more. The second theme in my words was about being in the present more. Being more aware, noticing things, slowing down, paying attention. If you read my blog regularly, it’s easy to guess that this is a big challenge for me. I am pretty type-a and I am result-focused. So I don’t always pay as much attention to the process as I would like to. I liked the idea of challenging myself to purposefully slow down. And the last theme I noticed was one of embracing joy. Thriving, appreciating happiness. This is another challenge for my usually self-critical and worrying self. I am often anxious and tend to focus on the negative. So, seeking joy would be a welcome improvement.
I liked all three themes of gratitude, mindfulness, and joy. I didn’t want to give any of them up. So I kept searching and searching.
And I finally settled upon: savor.
Savor.
I like that the one word somehow combines all of my themes. Savoring something often implies slowness and calm. It implies joy and appreciation. And even gratitude. I considered other words like bask that didn’t have heavy food-implications. But savor felt just right.
So savor it is.
To keep my word upfront and center this year, I already changed my blog banner. (If you’re reading this in email or on an RSS feed, come take a look.) I also started a new project called The Savor Project (more on this on Thursday) and I ordered two little rings.
They are both from the Cinnamon Sticks shop. It’s the heart stacking ring and the silver stacking ring. I ordered two the silver ones a few years ago. One of them says “Karen & Jake” and the other one says “David & Nathaniel” and I wear them on my left index finger all the time. I will now add the heart and the new silver (which will say “savor”) on top of the two I have. I haven’t received them yet but will take a photo and add it here when I do.
Following on my tradition from last year, I also made my Priority List for 2012. Just to remind the idea behind this is:
I was listening to The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and one of the things the author mentions is managing our time and how we spend much of it doing what’s urgent instead of doing what’s important. As in, we’re often reacting instead of thinking ahead and calmly acting in the direction of our dreams and priorities.
So I decided it would beneficial for me to make a “Priority List”. A list of goals and people I want to prioritize during the year. This way, when an opportunity or request came my way, I could check my list and make sure it is aligned with my priorities before I accepted it. It’s easy to lose sight of things and take on projects that end up eating a lot of my time and not making me fulfilled. If I had my list to look at each time, I could keep what’s important at the forefront of my mind and make sure to prioritize it.
Here’s my Priority List for 2012:
* Family
* Health
* Work
* Art
* Storytelling
* Reading
* Self-Reflection
* Learning
* Community
Like last year, these are not in order. Yes, most of the time my family comes first. However, there are times when work takes higher priority because it has to for a brief time. Or sometimes I might choose to exercise even if my son wants to play at that moment. These priorities are fluid for me. They are all a part of me and I want to make sure I value them and dedicate time to each. I also want to make sure I turn down anything that doesn’t line up with one of these.
The list is similar to last year but not exactly the same. And like last time, I know you could make everything fit into one of these categories but, in my heart, I know what these mean. And I know when something comes along that doesn’t fit. Above everything, I want to stay true to my gut. I’ve made the mistake of doing something that will look good and make others think well of me before and it was a lot of heartache for me and so I want to listen to myself more and trust my gut and know that if I turn down something that feels wrong, other opportunities will still come my way and I will know when the right one is there. So I will have faith in myself and in the universe.
And I will prioritize the important.
And there we are.
Here’s to an amazing 2012: The year I will SAVOR each moment.
I know I haven’t written an evening post in a while and I apologize. I decided I wanted to take time off for Thanksgiving and be with my family, rest, etc. But I hadn’t fully planned on it, which is why I didn’t mention it sooner. Alas, it is what it is.
I did write up a lot of new posts coming in the next few weeks which talk about my plans for 2012. I picked my word and my projects for next year. Of course, they might still change but I am pretty attached to most of them. I am continuing some of my favorites from this year and adding a few new ones. Some challenges. Some to honor my word. I haven’t done a full-year-lookback yet but I feel like I’ve done a lot of service to my word this year. I don’t know if I will actually follow through but, for now I am planning on doing the OLW album with Ali next year. I think it’s a good way to pay even more attention to my word. And the one for next year (as with the one for this year) is near and dear to my heart and will need a lot of “keeping it in the forefront.” Much more on my word coming tomorrow.
Besides planning for next year, I spent a lot of my four-day weekend reading (two book club books: Winesburg, Ohio and Angle of Repose), sketching, art journaling, thinking, and being with family, of course. I also started my drawing class this week. It’s called I Heart Drawing and it’s by the wonderful Jane Davenport. It’s excellent so far. And I signed up for two more classes (yes, I can’t stop!). One is Christy’s 12 Ornaments class and then the other is for next year. It’s Body Restoration by Melody and Kathy. I loved both of the Soul Restoration classes and have no doubt I will love this one, too. Melody’s way of thinking and teaching resonates with me. I think that’s the trick with taking classes: finding a teacher that just does it in a way that speaks to you. (and knowing what that is, of course!)
I also signed up for a local class for next year. I think I need to get out more and this class is on Monday nights at a local collage so I will have to leave the house each Monday night. It’s on Willpower and by the author of this book. I expect it to be both useful and interesting. It should hopefully give me some stuff to write about here, too.
I haven’t written my December newsletter yet and cannot decide if I will continue them or not. If you’re subscribed to it, let me know your thoughts. This is not a quest to get compliments, I would love to know the truth since they are time-consuming. Feel free to email me if you don’t want to leave negative comments on the blog.
I am also not ready for December yet. I feel like I haven’t spent enough time planning my calendar of activities. I am not even excited about December Daily yet. Just feeling behind, I think. It’s ok, I keep telling myself. Everything will fall into place. It always does.
My class starts in two days. If you’re on the fence, I recommend you take it. I don’t think I will teach it again. Chances are very low. I am excited for it. This is one of my all-time favorite classes because it applies to every single person, not just crafters. And if you do the work, I have absolutely no doubt it will change your life.
And there you go, that’s a completely random update from me. Much more coming this week, I promise.
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projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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