As always, I want to start by saying that this is going to be a long post. These reflective posts are how I make sure to live my life intentionally. They matter to me and I love being able to look back on them in future years. I know that this might not be interesting to many (if not any) of you, so please feel free to skip it. If some of you find it interesting, all the better.

This particular exercise is following Susannah Conway’s Unraveling 2024 sheet. You can download it right here. I split the reflective questions looking back on 2023 in and the questions to help clarify goals/dreams for 2024 into two posts. This is part I, part II comes next week. All questions are Susannah’s and are copyrighted to her.

Describe 2023 in three words:  challenging, change, grateful

If the events of 2023 were made into a film or a book, what would it be called? She tried, she grew, she let go.

Describe the plot and main characters of 2023. Any unexpected plot twists? Yes, so many twists and so many new characters. I am grateful for the new friends I made this year and people who held me and showed me so much patience and kindness. This year had some really hard moments and also some wonderful joys as many of them seem to lately. I am grateful to be here and grateful to love and be loved by so many people.

Did you have a word, words or a phrase for 2023? open

If you did, how have they guided and supported you through the last 12 months?  After my leave in the summer of 2022, I felt so much spaciousness and openness and I really wanted to hold on to that feeling of calm and generosity. I wanted to remember that I have what I need and it’s all icing from here onwards. Even though I lost that feeling on and off throughout the year, I can still connect with it deeply and my body remembers that feeling. Each time I felt myself closing in, I reminded myself to stay open. It has been a good companion for this year and I expect it will be a word I will carry all my life. 

How have you evolved over the last 12 months? What feels different now? Hmmm.  I think I feel calmer and more grounded. I also feel like I can see the good around me better. I also feel more generous about letting others be who they are.

When did you stand up for yourself in 2023? (And when didn’t you?) Several times at work and several times at home. I feel like I worked hard to protect myself and stand up for my needs. In both cases, I put up with more than I should have in several instances. My threshold is higher than it should be but I am working on it.

What’s supported you most in 2023? What’s really helped? I think it was a combination of things: I feel really supported at work with both friends and my manager. I am grateful for that. I also felt really supported by friends and art and books helped so much as they always do. And, of course, therapy helped a lot too.

What exhausted you in 2023? Did you notice at the time? I am most definitely emotionally exhausted. The beginning of 2023 was very tough with getting covid, surgery and a few really tough conversations. The last few months have been very intense at work with a lot to do. I also haven’t been sleeping well which isn’t helping either.

What did you let go of this year? And how do you feel about this? I am learning to let go of control. Of certainty that I think that I have but of course don’t have. I am learning to let things be and have faith that I can take whatever comes my way.

What new priorities have you uncovered in 2023? Big or small. This year, I invested a lot into slowing down. I took longer to get out of bed, I gave myself more grace and I didn’t push myself as hard. I also worked hard to have my people’s back. My people and myself are my priorities. 

Which connections have you cherished the most in 2023? Of course my family. Also friendships both old and new. My connection with Ellen at work. Several work colleagues who I’ve really loved working with.

What ambushed you in 2023? How did you deal with it? Covid, some conversations at work and home, and so many hard decisions. I am still learning to deal with it. I am trying to walk the path slowly and gracefully. 

If your body could talk, what has it been saying this year? I am here to support you and I know that when you’re ready, you will do better.

How have you taken care of yourself physically? What’s worked? What needs work? I tried to be less intense this year than I was last year but I think that resulted in relaxing too much and I didn’t work out nearly as much as I should have. I am weaker than I was last year. But that’s ok. I’ll slowly get back where I need to be.

How have you taken care of yourself mentally? What’s worked? What needs work? I’ve done a lot of learning this year. Both at work and for creativity. I didn’t take as many classes as I would have liked, but I liked everything I took and I practiced a lot. I also spent a year learning Korean. I am looking forward to taking more classes next year. 

How have you taken care of yourself emotionally? What’s worked? What needs work? I did a lot of therapy and work on myself this year. I’d like to say it worked but of course I need more work. I am grateful for all the time and effort I’ve invested into it. I plan to continue to do so.

The Releasing – Go gently with this next section. This is the space to remember the losses, the goodbyes and the struggles. Did anything happen in 2023 that needs to be forgiven, perhaps? Use this space to note down the more difficult moments of 2023 and keep going in your journal if you feel ready to untangle your feelings further. So much happened this year. I messed up so many times, I caused pain, I was hurtful or neglectful. I messed up more than I would like. I also got hurt so much. People were unkind. Conversations were difficult. I felt lonely and alone and unseen and broken and helpless. It was a tough year. 

The Gratitudes – Use this page to record everything you’re grateful for
from this wild and unpredictable year. Big things, little things, the profound and the everyday. What are you grateful for? I am so grateful that my family is healthy and safe. I am so grateful that I have good friends who see me and love me and are so incredibly kind to me. I am so grateful for my parents’ support and love. I am so grateful that I love to paint and can practice it every day. I am grateful for people who share their talent with us. I am grateful for art classes. I am grateful that I can afford them. I am grateful that I am learning to give myself grace. I am grateful that I made it this far. I am grateful that we’re together.

What are you proud of yourself for in 2023? I am proud that I finally did the surgery. I am proud that I am working hard and doing my best. I am proud of learning to give myself more grace. I am proud of learning to let go of control and learning to see my people and give them the space they need to be who they are. I have grown and learned so much. I’ve also realized that my capacity for all things is much higher than average.

When did you feel most like yourself this year? I can’t remember a particular time. I do think I am most like myself when I have a few days off and I can center myself and go back to that feeling of spaciousness. 

What have you healed this year (or identified needs healing)? I have identified a lot but I don’t really think I’ve healed anything in particular. 

What questions and explorations are you taking with you into 2024? I am taking everything with me. I plan to spend a lot of 2024 exploring who I am.

What’s deepened in your life? What’s changing in ways that delight you? Hmm… I don’t think I have a good answer for that except maybe my ability to see when people are kind to me. 

Who are you becoming? Does it excite or scare you? Hold space for the feelings…I think more than ever before, I am ready to become myself. Even though I’ve never been willing to be anything but me, I also think that I wasn’t always sure who I am in many ways and I am ready to find out.

Before we finish with 2023, take a few minutes to write out anything else you want to say to the old year. You might like to say some final goodbyes and thank yous…

Dear 2023, you were a hard one, for sure. This year started with covid and a surgery and then became very emotionally challenging and then became really mentally challenging but I am still here and I have learned and grown through the process. And I am a better person for it. Having said that, I don’t mind if we can make the next one a little less stressful.

Thank you 2023, you are now complete.