I am one of those people who is always on the go go go. I literally have a list of fifteen things I try to get done everyday. I do so many things simultaneously, too. I feed the baby while I read my book or do some craft with my son. I watch TV while I do my art journal. (I am watching it right now as I write this.) I am very accomplishment-oriented. Or at least execution-oriented. I am a big doer. Relaxing is not my thing.
There’s this time at the end of most Yoga classes where you lie down and you have to lie there, be present and not think, not sleep, just be aware. I always hated that part. My mind would go on overdrive and think of the fifty thousand items to put on my todo list. Or things I was supposed to have done that day. Or how I forgot to call. On and on. Let’s just say I never actually relaxed.
But over the years, this is something that I’ve grown to value more and more. I’ve taken enough classes to value the importance of resting and recovering, especially after a time of hard work. And I’m also trying to learn to take the time to pause and observe. To just do nothing and be more aware and be more mindful. I think this is really important.
It helps me assess my emotions and control my reaction to things happening around me. Even when I can’t stop myself from making the same mistake, making it with awareness is actually helpful. Pausing allows me to pay attention. It allows me to step back. It also allows me to be more grateful. To observe the million little things that happen in my day that I would otherwise not notice or gloss over.
So now, I am trying to pause more. Observe my kids playing when they don’t know I am looking. Pause while creating a piece of art. Listen to my husband while he talks instead of planning my response or tuning out. Pause while I feel sad or uninspired or frustrated. Pause so I can give the feelings a lot of attention and then let them go, so I can exchange those feelings with gratitude for what’s here. For who’s here.
It’s hard for me to pause, but I think it’s very valuable and I am working hard to take the time more and more. Even if it’s in millisecond increments. I hope you take a few seconds to pause today, too. Go out for five minutes and just observe nature. Be grateful for the very ordinary things today. Pause to notice them.
They are the miracles of life.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
The journaling reads:
In 2003, Jake and I took two months to drive across the United States. It was one of my biggest dreams to do this trip. We went to forty states. Instead of doing all the big cities, we decided it would be more pleasant to visit each of the National Parks so we mapped our trip accordingly. Especially since we planned to camp a lot.
It was more beautiful than I could have imagines it. We visited the White Sands, the Painted Desert, the Great Sand Dunes, the Everglades, Yellowstone, the Grand Tetons, Zion, Bryce among many others. We saw canyons and caverns, sand and lava, swamps and mountains. The beauty of this country is vast and varied. And it’s breathtaking.
What’s even more amazing is that you can buy something called a National Parks pass which, for a small fee, will get you into any of the parks for free, for a whole year. It was the best purchase we made the whole summer. I am so thankful we live in a country that preserves nature.
Earlier last week, I read this wonderful post on Andrea’s blog. One of the things she mentions is how her son started playing this game where he shares the favorite part of his day at the end of every day. As I’ve mentioned before, I do something like this with my son where I ask him to tell me two things he’s grateful for every day. It’s part of our bedtime ritual. I also pick him up from school every day and when we’re walking to the car, I ask him what his favorite part of school was each day. Sometimes he doesn’t want to play along and just says “no parts” but most days this is how I find out about things he did at school. Today he had 3 favorite things ready for me.
One of the greatest parts of doing this blog is that I get to do it with Lori. It’s something we share. Something we plan. I love reading her posts and I look forward to them. I smile when I see that we’ve used the same topic. I learn and grow when she appreciates something I might not have noticed. Even when we pick the same thing, I love reading her interpretation of it. The words she uses, the photos she shares.
I think, like most things, gratitude is amplified when shared with others. If you have children who can speak, I highly recommend you play this game with them. If they can write, maybe you can keep a gratitude journal with them. I am pretty sure you’ll cherish every single day you do it. And even more so years from now.
If you don’t have kids, but are married, do it with your husband. Significant other. Best friend. Or even neighbor. Imagine how much closer you might get with someone just by sharing one thing you’re grateful for each day. Just pick a person who might be willing to play along with you and start sharing.
Maybe, like Andrea, they will help you see some of your moments through different eyes. At a minimum, you’d be practicing gratitude and that’s gold right there.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
The journaling reads:
While I like almost every single animal, I have a soft spot for penguins. I cannot even tell you why. There’s something about these animals that makes me happy.
Maybe it’s that they mate for life or that they make great parents. Maybe it’s that they are incredibly cute. Maybe it’s the way they glide in the water and waddle on land. I honestly don’t know why they make me feel so giddy.
I just know that they do.
Whenever we visit a zoo, I first checkout the penguins. My favorite is the Central Park Zoo in New York City. Even though it’s indoors and you can’t take any photos that don’t come out blurry, I love watching the penguins there. They just look happy to me.
One of my biggest dreams is to get to visit Antarctica one day and get to see these creatures close-up. I love the idea of meeting them on their turf.
When I was a little girl, I kept diaries religiously. I used to write in them, carry them around, and make sure to never ever miss a day. If you ask any of my friends or acquaintances from that time in my life, I am confident that they will still remember my diaries. When I came to the US for college, I tried to keep them up but, for some reason, I could no longer do it. Little by little, I lost the habit. I regret that for many reasons and I have started keeping a daily dairy of sorts on my blog this year. But it’s not the same as what I used to do.
Over the years, I tried to start several diaries and kept picking up different kinds of notebooks that spoke to me. I bought magnificent ones, expensive ones, simple ones, lined ones and ones with squares. I started writing many times, but never went through with it for more than a week or two. During this time, one of the things I bought was a 5-year journal.
This cute book is arranged so that each page is a specific date, April 1, April 2, April 3 etc. And each page has five sections. Each section has a few lines. The way you use it is by journaling for a few lines each day and then starting the book over the next year and writing in the second section of each page. On and on for five years. This way, at the end of five years, when you look on a particular date (say April 6) you can see what you did on April 6 for the last five years. I thought this was the cutest idea.
But I never did it.
It just felt boring once I started it. I did the same stuff everyday. Even before I had kids. I worked. I came home. I read. I slept. That was about it. So I wasn’t able to keep this journal either. But I loved the idea of having a simple record of my year. Even if it wasn’t for 5 years, I’d love to be able to write 2-3 sentences everyday for a whole year and then to be able to read them. Wouldn’t that be fun? A different kind of journaling. A small snapshot of my year.
For those of you who use Facebook or Twitter, that’s something you could do, too. Use your statuses for a snapshot of your year. I don’t use either that much so, for me, I realized that the “Three Things I’m Grateful For” exercise I do daily is my record of the year. Yes, I often am thankful for generic things like my kids but since I have to come up with three, I also have something specific to my day. Like yesterday it was about a trip to the doctor and discovering that my little boy didn’t have a third ear infection (thankfully!). So if I were to collect all of the sentences I wrote so far, I’d have a pretty accurate snapshot of my year up until now. And from the wonderful perspective of giving thanks.
Isn’t that neat?
It isn’t something I thought of when I decided to do my three-things-daily but it’s a wonderful side effect and I am grateful for it.
So my message to you today is to try writing down one sentence everyday. If you’re only going to do one, pick something specific to your day. You use Facebook? Do it there. Or Twitter. Or your blog. Or a piece of paper. Find a jar and stick your pieces in there. Write the date. When you’re feeling down, pick one from the jar. Let it inspire you. At the end of the year, dump your jar and see a wonderfully happy record of your year.
You will be grateful you did it, I promise.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
The journaling reads:
In Turkey, we have some of the world’s most amazing sunrises. I’ve had the privilege of watching several (especially as a teenager coming back from a night out) and they are truly breathtaking.
Much like the sunsets in California.
Since California is on the West Coast of the United States it’s easy to find a spot with beautiful sunsets. I took this above photo at La Jolla Shores beach and I remember that day as if it were yesterday. People walking on the beach, surfers in the water, birds digging into the sand. Yellow, orange and red lights dancing in the sky as the rest of the skyline turns dark. It never ceases to awe and inspire me.
I remember visiting the Muir Woods in Marin County and looking at the colossal redwood trees. The sea, the trees, and the sky always make me realize how big the universe is and how small my problems seem in comparison.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
The journaling reads:
I grew up in a city much like New York City, where people live in apartments and don’t have backyards. As a kid, I always dreamt of living in a house and having my own backyard.
When we moved to the San Francisco area, I decided we had to rent a house (instead of a condo) and it was the best decision I made. We then got lucky enough to own a house with its own small backyard.
Even though we don’t use it everyday and it’s really quite small, I still love having it. I love going out there to sit with the kids and soak up a little bit of the California sunshine. I love sitting outside when friends come to visit. I love taking my computer out to the yard. It’s like my own private piece of sunshine and grass. I really enjoy having it.
So this week I am really thankful for my little patch of green in this world and I plan to fill it with bubbles as often as possible.
I am a firm believer that your home should be filled with love and feelings of comfort and ease. I have been unfortunate enough to live in places where this wasn’t the case. My previous house was cold and I always felt uncomfortable and frustrated. It was also orevcluttered and disorganized. It didn’t instill a sense of peace in me.
So when I finally moved to this new house, I decided to make sure I could foster a sense of belonging. This wasn’t about home decorating or style. My main goal was to truly feel at home in my house. And while I still have a long way to go, one of my favorite spots in my home is my little craft area which I have filled with pieces of art that I love. Like this one from Rebecca Sower.
I love each of these pieces of art and they inspire me in their own unique ways. Sometimes I look up at my walls just to stare at the art and let it give my soul a little jump.
I’ve also filled the space with things that are meaningful to me in other ways. Like this nest I just bought from Saffron and Genevieve. I have always been a fan of nests and have a much bigger one in my living room but this little one brings me a piece of nature right here on my table. And I love that it has a single egg in it, too.
I also love putting meaningful messages on my desk. Things that encourage me and make me smile.
Reminders that I need every now and then.
My craft table is in the corner of our living area. It’s not that large but it’s my favorite spot in our house. It’s filled with my personality. It immediately inspires me and makes me feel peaceful.
I hope you have a spot like that in your home, too. If you do, I would love it if you shared it with us. If you don’t maybe today’s a good day to pick one and put one thing you love there. Maybe it’s just a piece of paper with a quote you cherish. It can start small. Anything works as long as it feels like “you.”
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
The journaling reads:
This might seem awfully silly to some people but I’ve grown to appreciate our appliances. The house we lived in before this had an oven from the 60s. It didn’t work at all and on rare occasions when it did, it was hazardous to our health. Literally.
I have never been a cook. During the years we lived in New York, I worked eighteen-hour days and there was no time to sleep, let alone cook. My singular attempt in 1997 was met with criticism and that was all I needed to stop attempting.
And yet, over the years, especially after we had kids, I’ve found the urge to cook more and more. So when we moved to this house and finally had high quality appliances, I told myself that this was a sign that it was time for me to finally learn how to cook.
And I have. I still have a long way to go but I am enjoying the process tremendously and so is my family.
This week’s words are dedicated to those of you who had great intentions but have still not started this project due to a plethora of reasons. I’m sure they are all good ones and I am not here to discount any of them but I am here to challenge you to make this week be the week to jump in with both feet.
Assuming you’re still interested.
I am loving this project so much that I started getting my son to play along, too. As I’ve already mentioned, I write down three things I’m grateful for each day and as of a few weeks ago now I write two things my son’s grateful for each day, too. It’s become one of our bedtime rituals. If you have little ones, I highly recommend it.
Back to my point, I was listening to a podcast today and some artists were discussing how they cannot start a project because they can’t think of the perfect medium or the perfect time or they don’t have it all planned out yet and so they can’t even begin. I am a big planner, so I totally understand the need to have things figured out before you start but at the same time, I also believe in the power of diving in with both feet. Is it better to have nothing instead of something imperfect?
There are cases where I can see the value of being perfect (or as close as possible). If it’s for a job where you might otherwise be fired or hurt someone (like a doctor might). If it’s something where the goal is to master that particular craft or field etc. I can understand the need to be perfect in some cases.
Yet, I doubt that applies here. When you first heard about Weekly Gratitude and thought it would be a good idea and decided you wanted to play along, why did you want to do it? I imagine some of you thought it would make you more aware of how great your life is. Others thought it might be an exercise in mindfulness. Or a good reason to create regular pieces of art. Or make a little minibook.
I just can’t imagine you thought, “Well if I don’t do this perfectly, it will have been a complete waste.”
Seriously?
I think most people strive to be perfect because they think others will judge them if they are not. Let me tell you a secret: no one cares if your art isn’t perfect. No one cares if you didn’t spell a word correctly. No one cares if your lines are a bit crooked. Well…maybe a few people do. But those are not the kind of people you would like. No one actually spends any time looking at someone else’s work in detail and tearing it apart. Only small people do that and you don’t care what small people think. Trust me, you don’t.
So if you end up not doing your project because you’re worried what others will say, do you know who loses in the end?
Yep, you got it.
You.
You lose. Because while they won’t even remember your name a week from now, you’re the one who let that get to you and didn’t practice gratitude. Didn’t do art. Didn’t go for something you wanted just cause someone, somewhere might think you’re not perfect.
Sorry to make you mad but let me tell you: You’re not perfect. You’re not. Neither is your neighbor. Or the person whom you admire online. Or the “famous” person you wish you could be like. Etc etc. No person is perfect. Not to mention perfect is a moving target. The closer you get to it, the more flaws you see, the farther it gets. You never reach it.
Nor should you aim to.
I’m not one to tell you what to do in your life (even though I just did a bit) but I do have a challenge for you. If you’re one of those people who hasn’t started this habit because you haven’t found the perfect way to do it or the perfect album to put it in, I challenge you to throw all that out the window this week. Just pick a way and do it. Jot it on the back of your grocery list. Record it while you’re driving. Whatever, I don’t care. Just take a moment to be grateful. (This goes for those of you who started the project but haven’t done a thing for weeks, too. You haven’t failed. You can pick up and move on. You don’t have to go back and fill in. Just move forward. I promise, there is no WG police to come get you.)
Perfectionism can be a good drive for some people. An excuse to thrive and aim higher. And, in those cases, it’s a valuable tool. But for most people it’s crippling. It’s what stops you from functioning or accomplishing. In the case of this exercise, it’s possibly stopping you from feeling better. From realizing the good in your life.
Isn’t it worth it to let it go for a few weeks and see if you can enjoy being grateful?
Let me reiterate: there is no right way to do this project. Just do it. There is no right time to do this project. Do it now. Try taking a moment everyday for a week and write down one thing you’re grateful for. Don’t pick a format. Just write it down wherever it feels convenient each day. Say at 10am. Wherever you are at 10am, pause for one minute, grab a pen and write it down on the first piece of paper you can find. Just try it.
Maybe one week is not enough to reap the benefits, I don’t know but I hope you’ll try. I hope it will be the push you need to let go of the daunting task of being perfect with this and just doing it for the joy of practicing gratitude.
The following is cross-posted from the Weekly Gratitude Blog. I will post there every Tuesday and decided to post those posts here, too. For those of you who read both blogs, I apologize in advance. Some weeks the content might be different and other weeks, exactly the same.
The journaling reads:
Throughout my childhood, we spent our summers on this tiny island in the Marmara Sea. This island is so small that you can walk its circumference in two hours. It has no cars, only horse carriages. We know pracically everyone on the island and our family’s lived there for generations. So have many others. It’s like a small capsule of time. Our house and magical life there will forever be some of my fondest memories of my childhood.
