If it weren’t for my friend Lori, I would have never started this project. She was the one who messaged me and asked me if I’d like to join her in a year-long gratitude project. Lori’s a great friend and I loved the idea so I agreed without hesitation.

During the course of this year, I made 52 posts with my thoughts on gratitude-related subjects and 52 pieces of gratitude art. I’ve also written 3 things I’m grateful for every single day this past year. That’s 1,095 things. For the last six months or so, my six-year-old son has also been telling me three things he’s grateful for each day. And since November, he’s also been keeping a gratitude journal:

I cannot put into words the impact all this has had in my life.

The practice of gratitude is very powerful. Especially having to write down three things on those hard days when the world seems mostly black. During those times of illness and fear and tiredness. The practice of gratitude is what reminds you that there’s a flicker of light every single day. Every single moment of every day. It gives you the opportunity to pause and look and listen and pay attention to the good in your life.

Because there’s always some kind of good.

However small.

We take so much for granted. It’s human nature. And this project gives you the room and opportunity to take a moment to appreciate, to give thanks, to pay attention.

I’ve learned it’s important to pause and take a moment to be grateful each day.

I’ve learned that it makes my heart grow. It makes me realize how very much I have to be thankful for. How little it takes to make someone else’s day better. How many people impact my day. How much good there is out there.

It restores your faith in your life. In other people. And in the world.

All it takes is this one little project.

So I hope that, in 2011, you will take the time to write down things you’re grateful for. I will be continuing my 3 things here on my blog along with my son’s list and his journal. I will never ever forget this year and how it started me on this very amazing path.

Thank you, Lori. More than words can say.

I am so very grateful.

As the last days of the year approach and the holidays come rushing in, I notice that the todo list grows and the deadlines loom. One of the things I did a few years ago is to make a list of all the things I like and dislike during the holiday season. I then looked for ways to do more of what I like and less of what I dislike.

Simple right?

Well, not so. Holidays come with a lot of guilt. Ideas of wrong and right and things you should do. Feelings of inadequacy or expectations from people around you. Many people around me feel a strongly under-appreciated during the holidays. As my kids grow and the Christmas wonder dwindles, I know this will happen here too.

Which is where the list comes in handy. The idea is to focus on what makes you happy during the holidays and increase the amount of time you spend on that. And all the chores you don’t like, see if you can get rid of them, or at least make them much much less time consuming.

Here is an example:
I don’t do Christmas cards. I never have and I have no plans to. I take photos of my kids all the time and I love doing that. I also talk to, email, or write to most of the people I am friends with. I don’t need the holiday season to remind them of me or send them a printed photo of me that they won’t know what to do with. I generally don’t know what to do with Christmas cards I receive. I like them and look at them for a moment and then I toss them. And, maybe because of that, I think they are a huge waste of money and time and hassle for the recipient because I imagine them hesitating (like i do each year) and then guiltily throwing them away. So I just don’t do them. I save the time, the money, and the hassle. I don’t feel even 1% guilty about it and I use that time and money elsewhere.

Please bear in mind that these are my thoughts. You might love making and getting Christmas cards. That’s perfectly fine. The idea is to not to what you don’t want to do. Without guilt.

I also don’t put bows or other fancy wrapping on our presents. This year, I might try to even use gift bags instead of wrapping. I don’t spend time making a lot of hand-made presents. I might make one or two each year. Maybe. I also hate shopping. I always hate it but during the holidays even more so since the stores are so full. So I do all my shopping online. Early enough to get free or cheap shipping. I do it all in one night and then I am done.

What I do love to do is go on family excursions and to craft. And to put up a tree with decorations. I do a December Daily album each year to document the season as it happens. We have a beautiful tree and I decorate it mostly by myself. I don’t resent it ever because it’s one of the things I love most about the season. I love looking at it all month long. I love baking with my kids. I love relaxing and reading. And I try to spend most of my time doing that.

This gives me the mental and emotional space to really enjoy the season and be grateful for everything I have. It gives me the energy to snuggle up with my kids and be thankful they still let me hug them.

So if you’re finding yourself resentful or rushed this holiday season, my suggestion to you is to make a list. Write down all the things you resent doing. See if you can get rid of them. See if you can delegate them. See if you can minimize the time you spend on them.

And then make a list of everything you love. Schedule those into your week/day/month. Make sure you do them often and for longer periods. Remember that life is short and it’s better to feel joy over guilt. And doing more of what you love will fill you with gratitude.

And remember to snuggle up. Even if it’s just with a book.

Happy Holidays.

There’s a bad place where all your thoughts are negative. The place where you’re mean to yourself an everyone around you. You wallow in self-pity or resentment or anger or frustration. You take everything from the worst possible angle. You make mistakes and then get angrier. You snarl at the people you love and then feel disappointed in yourself. And the cycle goes on and on.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who goes to that bad place.

I’ve been living in that place for the last couple of days. I am not entirely sure how I got there or why I’m stuck there but here I am. I’ve been grouchy and mean and having major meltdowns over the smallest things. It has not been fun and I go to bed each day determined to snap out of it and wake up each morning back in that place.

But here’s the thing: even during these dark days, I’ve had amazing moments of gratitude and joy.

People have been kind and understanding and generous with me. I’ve had moments of laughter. I’ve felt good about accomplishing a task and finishing some todo item. Even if they were fewer and far in between, they were there.

So if your week or day is going like mine have been, I urge you to pause and pay attention to the moments of gratitude you have in the middle of darkness. To me, those are little bits of hope seeping in to remind you that life is not nearly as bleak as it seems right now.

That’s what practicing gratitude is all about: paying attention to the good. Because some good is always there.

Always.

There are many places that inspire me. Beaches, mountains and redwood trees. Places with childhood memories. Places with college memories. Places I haven’t been to yet. Places where people I love live.

I am grateful for all of them. Thinking about them brings a smile to my lips and fills my heart with joy. But, for me, none of these places can surpass the place that I love most of all:

Home.

I am a homebody. I love being in my warm, cozy house. There are things that drive me insane like the crumbs my little one leaves in his trail. The tiny legos strewn all over the living room. The scrap table that never seems to stay neat. The dishes that pile up. The books that are constantly teetering on the edge of falling. The mountains of mail. And more.

Yet, despite all that, I love being at home. Sitting in my corner, snuggling under the blankets with my cup of coffee and my children. For the last few days, my parents have been visiting and we all sat on the very long couch in our living room. Mom reading the Turkish newspaper, dad dozing off or playing with Nathaniel, David playing with mom’s ipad, and me working on my photos. I loved looking down the couch and seeing so many of the people I love. Feeling safe and cozy.

But most of all feeling deeply grateful. Remembering that there’s truly no place like home.