Open Book: I’ve journaled since I was 6 years old. It is still the best way for me to hear my thoughts and feelings, see myself and figure out next steps.
It helps me connect with myself, acknowledge my feelings and stay grounded in the present moment. I’ve been known to open my journal and write in the middle of a meeting in lieu of doing something I might regret.
I am so grateful for it.
Ps: this beautiful journal cover is from @cottonstitchca, it’s cork with shiny rainbow colors and it’s soft and really stunning in person. I don’t know her and this is not an ad, I just love it.
I am not sure if this is a trend or it’s a backslide or if I should worry or rejoice but I think for the first time in a long, long time, I don’t want to set specific goals that are tied to days. This might mean I do a lot less or it might mean I venture into new things, I don’t know and I get to always choose a different path if it’s not working but for now, I decided I don’t want to track, count, or measure things. I want to give myself grace, rest, space this year. Here are some themes I plan to focus on and we’ll see what form they take.
Staying open: Still trying to figure out if I will insta daily again, I go back and forth, we’ll see where I land on day 1.
Art: I have done so so much art in 2022. I didn’t post any of it, not sure why but I loved doing it. I filled 4-5 journals and I hope to continue to do more. Watercolors, sketching, whatever else I might stumble upon.
Reflection: Not sure about the reflection this year. I liked doing the monthly reflection but somehow it all fell apart towards the end of the year so I might or might not do it.
Wellness: This is continued area of struggle and focus for me. Taking care of my body, my skin, my health, sleep, nutrition, exercise. I will continue to focus on this. And I might or might not also write about it we’ll see.
Reading – I read a lot this year. I continued to read netgalley/edelweiss ARC books as well as audiobooks from the library and audible. I plan to continue this next year. I will continue tracking them on goodreads.
Here’s to a year of continuing to do what brings me joy and continuing to stay open to whatever magic might come and surprise me.
Open to showing up anyway: I woke up tired today and never really recovered all day. I spent the day reading on the couch. Read a whole book from start to finish and did nothing else.
When the end of the day was getting near, I said yes ok we can go climbing. I didn’t want to. I was sore. I was tired and I have work tomorrow.
But I’ve been focusing on doing things that I know I will be glad I did. I often ask myself what will I regret less? I never ever regret going climbing.
So off we went. Open to showing up even when I don’t feel like it.
As with all the previous years, I knew I wanted to pick my core desired feelings this year, too. If you want to know more about core desired feelings, please go to my post from 2016 and you can see the links there.
Like last year, the words came to me easily this year as well because I know exactly which feelings I am hoping to cultivate and which feelings feel good to me right now.
So walking into this year, I knew exactly what I wanted to hold on to. What core desired feelings I had. I chose: soft, surrender, equanimity, spacious, magic and trust.
Here’s what I came up with this year and what they each mean to me:
Soft: This is the peaceful word of this year. I want to feel light and peace and joy and ease. I want to feel quietly soft.
Surrender: I want to let it all be. I don’t want to keep track, manipulate, control or contrive anymore. I don’t want to optimize. I don’t want to count. I just want to surrender to what is. I want to be here in this moment and I want to listen to myself and trust the universe. Trust myself. I want to release everything. It’s a crucial step in being open to what comes and what is.
Equanimity: I love this word. I have felt it more this year than ever before. I felt that mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper. Emotional stability. It always results in unwavering kindness, expansiveness and deep peace.
Spacious: This is the way I feel when I am really open. I feel possibility and I feel abundance. I feel like I have room to breathe. Room to fully open myself up. to take up space.
Magic: And I think I want to hold a little closer to magic again this year. I want to feel that spark, that joy. that possibility.
Trust: This one showed up very last minute but it took a hold of me and it wouldn’t leave. Trust that you are right where you need to be today. Trust the timing of the universe. Trust yourself. Yes.
I love all of these. As always, I can immediately connect with the feeling I get when I say these words. I feel full. I feel content knowing these are the words I want for myself. They feel exciting and loving.
Here’s to a year of being open to staying soft and spacious, surrendering fully, and embracing equanimity and magic.
Open Mind: I spent some of today reading Emma Grove’s graphic novel about being transgender and having dissociative identity disorder. I’m grateful to people who share their stories so the rest of us can learn and understand better.
I can be hit or miss on Moriarty’s books and I didn’t want something that was a gimmick so I kept picking this book up and putting it back down. But as my vacation winds down, I felt the pull towards something light and flowing. And I knew she would deliver.
This book turned out to be surprising for me. There wasn’t one big twist or revelation. In fact, as woman who’s been married 20+ years with teenage kids, there was a lot of interesting food for thought in this story if you’re willing to look past the superficial bits.
It was an interesting narrative on the stories we tell ourselves and how time and experiences can alter our perspective in ways that feel irredeemable. And yet how we always (at any moment) have the option to change the course of our life and choose what we remember or where we shine the light.
Resentment breeds more resentment and gratitude breeds more gratitude. I am very glad I read this book.
This is the story of Emma who is transgender and trying to get approval for hormone replacement therapy. So she starts seeing a therapist and slowly they uncover that she has a history of trauma and Dissociative Identity Disorder. The rest of the book is Emma struggling with her therapist and his lack of professionalism and ability to deal with her disorder (in fact, I’d say the therapist is abusive too often.) and her journey working her way through some of her trauma, etc.
It’s really heart wrenching in parts and really disorienting in others. It made me feel really angry at incompetent therapists who do more harm than good and it also broke my heart completely to read all the trauma she had to endure as a little girl. People can be so very cruel.
Many people commented on how big this book is, since I read it as an ebook I didn’t realize that until I started it but to me, it was a fast and engrossing (and heartbreaking) read.
Again, I want to start by saying that this is going to be a long post. These reflective posts are how I make sure to live my life intentionally. They matter to me and I love being able to look back on them in future years. I know that this might not be interesting to many (if not any) of you, so please feel free to skip it. If some of you find it interesting, all the better.
This particular exercise is following Susannah Conway’s Unraveling 2023 sheet. You can download it right here. I split the reflective questions looking back on 2022 in and the questions to help clarify goals/dreams for 2023 into two posts. This is part II. All questions are Susannah’s and are copyrighted to her.
It’s now most definitely time to look forward! I love how a new year holds so much possibility. It’s a do-over, a blank slate, a new page to be filled with whatever we want. There’ll always be the responsibilities and routines of our everyday, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep doing things in the same old way. Whether you wish to bring in big changes or do a bit of fine-tuning, it’s all to play for in 2023.
First, choose a word to guide you through the next 12 months. Pick a word that makes you feel expanded. Encouraged. Inspired. There’s no right or wrong answer so go with your intuition. What’s your Word for 2023? My word is OPEN.
If you truly embodied your Word every day in 2023, what would you do differently? I would lean into the spaciousness that being open creates. I would be generous and kind and at peace.
What one thing could you do each day to anchor your Word into your routine? Meditate. Smile. Hug myself and my people. Maybe do insta again but I am not sure. Give myself a hug. Ground myself in gratitude and remember my abundance.
How does your Word make you feel? Grounded and peaceful.
Do you want any extra words to support your Word for 2023? Brainstorm here. Think about what you need in the different areas of your life: home… work… relationships.. Health… self-care… What would support your Word? Here are some other words that really resonate with me: surrender, spacious, brave, equanimity, abundant, grounded.
What are you looking forward to in 2023?I am looking forward to some major milestones in my family. My younger one graduating middle school and my older one graduating high school and going off to college. Getting his license hopefully. Visiting my parents and celebrating my dad turning 80. I have a lot to be grateful for.
What are you feeling apprehensive about? I am apprehensive about a lot of things around the people I love and their journeys but I am also learning that we will all be ok. We will care for each other and we will weather whatever comes together. We can do this.
What life lessons are you taking with you into 2023?That I can only be there and hold someone’s hand but I can’t change them and I can’t fix things for them, I can’t walk their journey for them. I am one person and I can only walk my own journey. And all these mantras from last year still work well for me too: Is this mine to carry? Can I hold this lightly? Can I let this go? I have my own back. Give people an opportunity to delight and not disappoint. The ground beneath me is not going anywhere. Thank you for everything, I have no complaints whatsoever.
What area of your life do you most want to develop in 2023? To be honest, I am most interested and focused on sitting inside this peace and groundedness. Being open and remembering it’s all icing. I do still want to work on nutrition and exercise and body image because it’s a journey I would like to be in a different place with.
What part of yourself do you yearn to nurture in 2023? The spaciousness. The generosity. Remembering what matters and choosing to respond.
Fast-forward to December 2023. You’re sitting in a café, musing over the last 12 months. Where do you want to be… … in your head? (work, dreams, goals) I want to enjoy my job, feel like I’m adding value and working with people I learn from and enjoy being around.
… in your heart? (relationships, family, friends) I want my family to be happy and thriving. I want to have a few close friends who I can have deep conversations with and grow alongside. And I want to see and hug my family.
… in your soul? (beliefs, practices, self-love) I want to remember how it’s all bonus from here onwards. I want to make sure to keep abundance and spaciousness and be open to being delighted and surprised.
… in your physical world? (home, health, hobbies) I want to continue to do more art. Watercolors, sketching and things that make me happy. I want to continue to journal so I can stay connected to my soul. I want to find a movement that really resonates with me and I want to honor my body and feed it with love.
Everything is Possible
Okay, let’s take it up a notch. Use this page to describe what 2023 looks like in your ideal world. Be specific! What are your dreams for love this year? Work? Play? Where are you hungry for change? How do you want 2023 to FEEL? Use your answers from the previous pages to craft your ideal vision for the next 12 months. What would saying YES to your life look and feel like? Write out everything your heart desires for this new year. Be bold.
It would mean that I wake up and do my exercise and then my meditation, I continue to do cardio, strength and restorative work.
It would mean I tell my kids and husband how much I love them everyday and see the joy of our life together and invest in each of them individually as well as a family unit.
It would mean I find value in the work I do and feel a strong sense of belonging and contribution at work and find a way to give back.
It would mean that I eat what feeds my body, take care of my skin, and do what feeds my brain and soul.
It would mean that I prioritize sleep.
It would mean I spend time doing art and journaling and reading.
It would mean I see my friends in person.
It would mean I go out into nature and ground myself physically in what gives me deep contentment.
It would mean I would be open to possibility and surprise and growth and to listening.
Air
List 3 unhelpful beliefs about yourself you’re ready to release
I am alone
I am weak
I am ugly.
List 3 duties or commitments you feel ready to let go of in 2023
Others’ expectations.
Going places I don’t want to go.
Saying yes to things out of fear.
List 3 skills you’d like to learn or improve in 2023
Art. Drawing and painting. Landscapes. Urban sketching.
Climbing, hiking.
Cooking maybe, it might be interesting to learn it.
List 3 books you intend to read this year: I will read hundreds.
How could you bring more calm into your life (and head) this year? I will continue to meditate. I will go more slowly. I will lie in bed.
Water
List 3 things about yourself you positively love
I am dependable.
I get things done.
I am kind.
I always work on myself and try to improve.
List 3 ways you could be kinder to your body this year
I can eat more nutritious food.
I can put moisturizing cream on more regularly.
I can floss more regularly.
I can exercise regularly.
I probably can sit at my desk more or figure out a more ergonomic setup
List 3 ways you could connect with loved ones in 2023
I’d love to have some recurring connection with my friends.
Daytrips and adventures with J.
I can call/text an old/new friend a week.
List 3 people you could extend compassion to
Jake
Myself + the kids.
Everyone I see.
How could you bring more love into your life this year? I can do this by taking care of myself so I can stay grounded and open and operate from a space of abundance.
Fire
List 3 interests/hobbies you would like to explore more in 2023
art
cooking
Online classes
List 3 ways you could feed your imagination this year
Maybe learning some new skills like cooking
Traveling
Go on artist’s dates+sketching dates
List 3 ways you could bring more passion into your world this year
Do something new with J regularly
Volunteer for causes that matter to me
Love/Hug my people
List 3 dreams you would like to manifest this year (personal or professional)
Get really good at sketching (urban) and improve my painting.
Find peace with nutrition
Expand upon this newfound peace
How could you bring more creative energy into your life this year? Doing some sort of regular practice is what works the very best.
Earth
List 3 ways you could bring more mindfulness to your mornings
Exercise + meditation
Skin care
Some art or journaling
List 3 ways you could bring more mindfulness to your evenings (I added this because I want to do both mornings and evenings.)
Diffuser for a few minutes + foot cream
Floss
Maybe insta, maybe some reading
List 3 ways you could cherish your home this year
Buy flowers and twinkle lights
Let things be what they are
Enjoy the backyard.
List 3 ways you could connect more deeply with nature in 2023
Go on hiking/climbing trips
Toes in sand/water + watch sunsets
Sit outside as much as possible.
List 3 places in your city, town or neighborhood you want to explore
The city more
More parks
Caltrain.
How could you bring a sense of groundedness into your life this year? Continue to meditate and do restorative yoga. Journal. Stay present. Regularly release. Remember the icing.
Using your favourite tarot or oracle deck, draw one card for the overall theme of the upcoming year and then a card for each month of 2023. Okay, let’s take it up a notch. Use this page to describe what 2023 looks like in your ideal world. Be specific! What are your dreams for love this year? Work? Play? Where are you hungry for change? How do you want 2023 to FEEL? Use your answers from the previous pages to craft your ideal vision for the next 12 months. What would saying YES to your life look and feel like? Write out everything your heart desires for this new year. Be bold.
It would mean that I wake up and do my exercise and then my meditation, I continue to do cardio, strength and restorative work.
It would mean I tell my kids and husband how much I love them everyday and see the joy of our life together and invest in each of them individually as well as a family unit.
It would mean I find value in the work I do and feel a strong sense of belonging and contribution at work and find a way to give back.
It would mean that I eat what feeds my body, take care of my skin, and do what feeds my brain and soul.
It would mean that I prioritize sleep.
It would mean I spend time doing art and journaling and reading.
It would mean I see my friends in person.
It would mean I go out into nature and ground myself physically in what gives me deep contentment.
It would mean I would be open to possibility and surprise and growth and to listening.
Now let’s give those dreams and plans some shape. Use the grid to start plotting the details of 2023. Use words and pictures, dates and anniversaries. Include actual events and made-up dreams, too. Be playful. Doodle your heart out. Back in 2013, our January OLW assignment involved setting intentions and I really enjoyed that, so I thought maybe I can do that instead.
January: Open Eyes: Start paying attention. What’s there that you’re not seeing. Can you look with a different perspective. What are you choosing to not look at? See all of it.
February: Open Heart: Choose to be all in for the people you love. Don’t hold back. Be vulnerable. Share your feelings. Give them chances. Give it all.
March: Open Door: This is usually a hard month for you, so open that door. Walk through what has felt closed, what has felt hard. Try new adventures and things to do. Do something you haven’t done before. Welcome the new.
April: Wide Open: How far can you go? Are you feeling the spaciousness? Are you living the full depth and breadth of your life? Open to the goodness of your life. Remember it’s all icing.
May: Open Mind: This is the time to try something totally new. Challenge your assumptions about yourself. Take a class. Dance class?
June: Burst Open: Hug your people. Celebrate them. So much to celebrate this month. Let it all out. Crack open. Break open. Let the gratitude and joy flow in. Leap.
July: Open Air: The summer is here. Go have new experiences outside. Feel Alive. Watch the sunset and sunrise. Climb. Hike. Feel the water.
August: Open Arms: It’s time to be open to life, to experiences. Hug more. Reach out to your people. Receive the love, the kindness, let yourself feel it.
September: Open Sesame: This is your birthday month. Let’s make some magic happen. David will be in college. Aurelia in high school. So much change. Make it magical.
October: Open House: Take responsibility for friendship. reach out. show up. connect. Host people.
November: Open More: can you open wider? where are you still holding back? What’s getting in the way? go farther. risk more. deeper, wider, longer, what’s the next level? where can you lean in more?
December: Open Book: Reading, writing, journaling, telling our story, feeling seen and making others feel seen. Snuggle and connect.
The Wrap-Up
2023 will be the year I finallymake peace with my body.
I will nourish myself with kindness and love.
I will make more time forart, people i love, exercise.
I will recharge my batteries by resting, journaling and doing yoga.
This year I will open my heart tolove.
I will pay more attention tomy openness and abundance vs scarcity.
I will learn more about how to sketch, cook, move.
I will release my attachment to controlling the outcome.
I wish for 2023 to feelspacious.
This year I will say NO to what doesn’t matter.
This year I will say YES to being here now and loving my people as they are.
What is your secret wish for 2023? Declare it here! That I continue to live in this space of peace, ease and equanimity. That I am open to what comes, that I operate from abundance. That I can see the pure magic of life. That I can be grounded in gratitude.
I wholeheartedly believe that everything is possible in 2023!
As always, I mention many of these same thoughts from last year and here, here, and here. I am pretty sure these themes have been in my life in some way or another for many years. I know that they will likely still be around in 2023 and onward. What I’d like to do this year is to make a dent. To move things forward a little bit. Every forward step I take moves me in the right direction and that’s all I can ask for.
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine stepping into the shoes of you from December 2023, one year from now. You are one year older and one year wiser and you’ve lived every day of 2023 fully and completely. You have a message of encouragement about 2023. There’s stuff you want to share… stuff you’re eager to tell yourself. When you’re ready, open your eyes, pick up your pen, and write a letter from your future self, starting with DearKaren: I love you and have your back. Keep going, you got this!
This time next year I will be at peace.
This time next year I will have gratitude for what is.
My word for 2023 is open. There’s a long story behind it but the short version is that I want to remember to stay open and create the grounded spaciousness that allows for. The presence and peace it gives me is exactly what I would like to hold on to in 2023.
Open Air: I never regret spending time outside in nature. So despite the almost 3-hour round trip, we made our annual trip to Rodeo Beach today. We hiked, we listened to the waves, we basked in the sunshine.
It’s interesting that both last year’s word and this year’s word started with a feeling.
2022 was a really tough year for me. Both personally and professionally, I had some of the most challenging times of my life. I finally had to say uncle and take a leave of absence from work during the summer so I could reset and take some time to go within an see if I could feel better.
I resisted taking the time and made up all the reasons why it was a bad idea when my coach recommended that I consider it seriously. I resisted it when my doctor told me I needed to start taking care of myself. I had a long list of reasons why it was all a bad idea and I couldn’t take what I needed.
And then I realized that I had no other choice. I had gotten to a place where I felt like my cup was full before I even got out of bed. My anxiety was overflowing and I could no longer contain it. The smallest things caused me to break down in the most unpredictable times and in the most unpredictable ways.
What finally helped me pull the trigger, unexpectedly, was a meeting with my old manager. I was talking to him and realized suddenly that he didn’t see me at all. It became so shockingly clear in that instant that every story I had been telling myself about everything instantly crumbled. Within hours, I had reached out to people looking for another job and decided I was going on a leave after all.
It was the best decision I’ve made in a long, long time.
I quit the job I was doing, moved under my new manager and took 2 months off starting right away. I was off from May to July.
For the first few weeks, things were hectic and i was traveling, and then I was home and I was reading and painting and doing nothing most of the days, which felt just right but I was still counting the days until it was time to go back to work. During my check-in appointment, my doctor decided I needed 3 more weeks off to really heal. When she said that, I felt instant relief.
And those three weeks made all the difference. For reasons I can’t explain, I finally was able to finally and completely release everything. I had this moment where I realized that I had already done everything I had hoped to do with my life. I had managed to move to America, study what I had really hoped to, make a life for myself, get citizenship, get married to the love of my life, have incredible children who are kind and smart and loving. I have a job I like surrounded by smart people. I have a home in a state and neighborhood I love and I have friends who see me and love me for who i am and enrich my life. I honestly feel like I am all set. I have books, paint and music and people I love. This is all I’ve ever wanted. I am done.
Everything from here onward is icing on the cake.
I also realized that in the grand scheme of my whole life, I didn’t care about any more “outside in” things. I didn’t care about things that look good but aren’t meaningful on their own. All I care about is my people and making sure they know how much I love them. Nothing else is really important.
As soon as I realized all that, I felt a huge shift.
I went from being scared, anxious and waking up with a feeling of scarcity to feeling spacious, expansive and as if I had all the time I needed. Because really I didn’t need any more time. I didn’t need to read one more book or do one more thing. I was done. It was all bonus from here. Which meant I could wake up and just do whatever my people wanted to do. This didn’t mean I couldn’t wake up and do what I wanted to do, too but I just didn’t feel that closing in anymore. I used to wake up on the weekend already worried about running out of time. But I don’t anymore. I have nothing I have to do. It’s all choice now.
This feeling of spaciousness and abundance has been the greatest gift. For the first time in 40 years, I feel a sense of deep, quiet and resounding peace.
I’d been chasing peace my whole life, thinking it was one of the few things that might never be possible for me. But here it was, when I least expected it and it came in the quietest way.
I thought of choosing bonus or icing for my word this year to help remember that it’s all bonus but those don’t feel right. I also thought of picking abundance, spacious or light because those are how i feel. But then I realized what I really want to remember is to stay open. Being open is what welcomes all those feelings. It creates space and it encourages abundance and keeps me light and generous. From a place of being open, everything feels possible. I am my most peaceful, kind and generous self.
So what I want to work on the most in 2023 is holding on to this choice to stay open. To remember that I already have all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t have to do or be anything. I am good.
I’ve spent the last few years picking words that can be active and passive and in some ways “open” is that way, too. I can open the door and step through the threshold. But for the most part, open is a word that’s about receiving. Being open to the universe, the people and circumstances around me. It’s about paying attention and keeping myself open to receive. And this year, it feels just right to me.
Here are some things I hope to focus on:
Open Eyes and Open Ears: Pay attention. Look at the people I love, listen to them. Listen more than you speak. Let people tell their stories. Create space for people. The most loving thing I can do is pay attention.
Open Heart: Choose to be all in for the people you love. Don’t hold back. Be vulnerable. Share your feelings. Give them chances. Give it all. Be generous with your time and love.
Open Mind: Let yourself grow intellectually. Be curious. Challenge your assumptions about yourself. Take a class. What do you think you can’t do, are you sure? What do you think you don’t like to do, are you sure?
Open Door: Walk through what has felt closed, what has felt hard. Try new adventures and things to do. Do something you haven’t done before. Welcome the new. Choose to wander. Choose wonder.
Open House: Take responsibility for friendship. reach out. show up. connect. Host people. Make new friends. Reconnect with old ones. Make time to talk to friends.
Open Air: Go have new experiences outside. Feel Alive. Watch the sunset and sunrise. Climb. Hike. Feel the water, sand and earth.
Open Sesame: Make magic happen. You’re the magician.
and most importantly:
Wide Open: How far can you go? Are you feeling the spaciousness? Are you living the full depth and breadth of your life? Open to the goodness of your life. Remember it’s all icing. Hold on to the abundance and peace. They are yours to keep.
Here are some mantras I intend to keep for this coming year as they have served me well so far:
I already have all I need: I am done. I did all I needed to do. All I wanted to do. I am good. It’s all bonus from here onward. I can rest now. I can give now.
Is this mine to carry? Ask yourself this each time before you pick something up. Don’t get on the rollercoaster. If it’s not mine, I will not pick it up. I can love my people and I can offer to help, but I will not pickup what’s not mine to carry.
Surrender and Release: Let things go. Now you know you can. Visualize the balloons. Let them all go. They are not serving you.
Can I hold this lightly? Just like remembering what not to carry, I am trying to get clear what I can hold lightly. Does this really, deeply matter to me? Does it need to be held so tightly?
I have my own back. I have what I need. I am grateful to the people who love me and share my life and I am grateful for all I have and at the same time, when I remember that I have my own back, I feel stronger and more solid in the world.
Reset your expectations: Try to set expectations as low as possible. People don’t owe you anything. It’s wonderful when it happens but it’s not expected. Life is not transactional. Give people an opportunity to delight and not disappoint you.
The ground beneath me is not going anywhere: Things are solid. The ground is not moving. Especially when I choose not to get on the roller coaster.
Be Generous: Make room for others. Expand. Tell them why they are amazing. Praise. Donate. Be generous. Nothing is ever too much trouble and there’s always time.
Stronger: You have what it takes. You are getting stronger every single day and I am so proud of you. Just keep at it. Give yourself grace and keep going. Try a tiny bit harder. You can keep doing this.
Yes You Can: You are amazing. You have proven again and again that you can do anything you set your mind to. So have faith in yourself. Work hard. Work smart. Do it for you. Do what you decide you want to. Keep at it. You can do it. Yes you can.
So there we go. Here’s to staying wide OPEN in 2023.
As always, I want to start by saying that this is going to be a long post. These reflective posts are how I make sure to live my life intentionally. They matter to me and I love being able to look back on them in future years. I know that this might not be interesting to many (if not any) of you, so please feel free to skip it. If some of you find it interesting, all the better.
This particular exercise is following Susannah Conway’s Unraveling 2023 sheet. You can download it right here. I split the reflective questions looking back on 2022 in and the questions to help clarify goals/dreams for 2023 into two posts. This is part I, part II comes next week. All questions are Susannah’s and are copyrighted to her.
Before we start unraveling 2023, let’s take a moment to look back over the last twelve months. How has this year been for you? Pick up your pen and let’s do some digging.
First of all, did you have a word for 2022? Joy
If you did, how did your word help to guide you through the last 12 months? Can you think of any specific examples?It helped me spend more time doing things that give me joy. I also surrounded myself with objects that give me joy. It was a great anchoring word.
What did you embrace in 2022? I embraced being here with what’s here. Spaciousness. I gave up both control and codependency as much as I could. I accepted my people as who they are and tried to love and support them.
What felt uncomfortable in 2022? So much. I decided to leave my role at work for another role. It was a huge decision and very uncomfortable. I continued to support my husband through his difficult journey. I took 3 months off work to take care of myself and my wellbeing. Both of my kids had important personal journeys. My new job came with a lot of drama. All of these were uncomfortable.
What changed for you in 2022?I read the co-dependency book which considerably changed my thinking. I also had a major moment around August where I realized everything in my life was icing from here onward and that all I wanted to do was love my people. I changed jobs and remembered that work is not my identity. I let go of trying to control outcomes. I let go of trying to predict the future. I embraced who my kids are. I embraced my husband’s struggles. I expanded and felt spacious and at peace for the first time ever in my life.
What did you discover about yourself in 2022? I discovered that I love my people with all my soul and loving them means letting them be who they are and cheering them on.
What new dreams did you uncover in 2022? I wrote this last year: “My biggest dream has always been to be able to live with peace and ease and I think this is the year I’ve come closest to it.” And this year I feel like I’ve come even closer. I feel so grateful. I also spent a lot of time painting and drawing this year and that is a big dream for me too.
When did fear hold you back in 2022? Less so than before. I notice the fear rising more often now and can respond instead of react. I am proud of myself.
Where did you practice courage in 2022? I practiced it again and again. I let go of my fear of how things will turn out or what others will think. I had faith this year. I trusted myself. I showed up to my life again and again despite being deeply scared and despite so much unknown. I just continued to show up. I am proud of myself.
What surprised you in 2022? Peace. Spaciousness. It is the most wonderful feeling to let go of scarcity and to have inner peace.
What was the best day in 2022? What happened?The day that I realized that I had accomplished everything I’d wanted in my life and that I was in fact deeply content and thankful and that everything from here onward was icing on the cake. That day completely freed me.
What was the most difficult day in 2022? What happened? There were many, many hard days in 2022. So much unknown and unpredictability. Work continued to be hard, home was hard. There was so much uncertainty in 2022. So many low points for the people I love. So much of not being seen or appreciated. But I survived them all.
Pandemic Reflections: Year 3
I don’t think anyone thought the pandemic would have magically resolved by the end of 2022. Things have been shifting and changing, but the majority of us are still living with restrictions. BUT! We’ve made it this far! If you’re anything like me you’ve likely been reflecting on what matters and what doesn’t. How has the pandemic impacted your life thus far? I wanted to keep this for one more year. I got covid in January. My kids still wear masks everywhere. Pandemic left my husband deeply scarred. I still prefer to work at home. And I still prefer to be at home in general.
What have you learned about yourself during this entire experience? I learned that people experience things differently. We observe the world and internalize information with our own filters. There isn’t as much “truth” as there is our own interpretations. This is important to remember because when I am certain something is true, I am likely to be wrong. My lens impacts my world. And I get to choose the lens I wear.
Write down everything that’s helped you get through the year. Consider: new routines, boundaries, connections with others, online community, new things you tried, things you read, places you visited, new perspectives. I’ve done so much this year, here are some things that helped:
I really didn’t spend as much outdoor time as I would have liked this year but I did buy twinkly lights for the living room.
Did a lot of watercolors.
Did a lot of exercise.
Did a lot of climbing.
Did a lot of drawing and journaling
Did a lot of reading.
Saw a lot of friends..
Got us all vaccinated and boosted..
Gave myself grace again and again.
Note: With these next three questions there is absolutely no judgement here, so try to answer honestly so you can identify any areas that need tending to! How have you taken care of yourself physically?My exercise declined a lot this year, especially in the second half. Even though I likely did 16K or so, I didn’t climb as much and didn’t exercise as rigorously as last year.
How have you taken care of yourself mentally? I did daily mediation and still have a coach and a therapist. I journaled.
How have you taken care of yourself emotionally? Same as above.
What have you missed this year? I missed traveling.
What haven’t you missed? Commuting to work.
What new ways of seeing the world have you discovered? I have become more spacious and calmer and more able to see/sit with others’ pain without getting triggered by it. I’ve also become less anxious during the weekend. I feel less scarcity.
What will you never forget? This feeling of spaciousness and groundedness, I deeply hope it is here to stay.
What have you let go of? Trying to control outcomes. Trying to get too much done.
What feels more important than ever to you? Feeling my feelings, getting help, showing the people I love how much I love them. Being here for my people. Being kind.
What now feels unimportant? What others think. Outside in.
What are you ready to begin? Hanging on to the spaciousness and peace. Grace and kindness.
How has this year impacted your priorities? I grew so much as a person.
How has this year impacted your home life? Things have slowed down. IT’s still a mess here but I love my people.
How has this year impacted your relationships? I managed to grow two deep friendships this year. I am very grateful for both.
How has this year impacted your work life? I changed jobs. I took a leave. Both of these things saved me this year.
The Gratitudes
What have you been most grateful for this year? Big things, little things, the profound and the everyday, what are you grateful for?
Grateful that my sickness was very mild and no one else got sick.
Grateful that we are all still together and hanging on to each other.
Grateful D’s college applications and essays are done.
Grateful that A made even more new friends and has been socializing more and working on finding who they are.
Grateful for a new job and a very supportive manager.
Gentleness alert! Did anything happen in 2022 that needs to be forgiven? Maybe it was something someone did or said to you. Maybe it was something you did or said to someone else — or to yourself? Maybe you feel you let yourself down in some way. Here’s the thing — we are all beautifully fallible human beings doing the best that we can with the tools that we have, so where can you give the gift of forgiveness to yourself or to another? This was a tough year. So much struggle for me and people I love. There has been so much unknown and so much I can’t control. It was a tough year and I give myself endless grace for continuing to make it through and getting stronger and kinder and growing so much.
The Gifts of 2022
I now invite you to close your eyes for a moment and think about 2022 as a whole. As you cast your mind back over the year, consider the gifts that 2022 offered you on your life’s journey… What stands out the most? What really mattered?
The time off and medication really changed my life.
I helped David with his essays.
I quit my job and took 3 months off and started a new job.
I learned how to do watercolor landscapes.
I journaled. .
I went climbing with Jake regularly.
I read 250+ books
I gave myself grace, let things go
I documented our lives, did OLW and WIL.
We got more shots, more vaccines.
Kids continued to do incredibly well at school with loving friends.
I stuck by my people and worked hard at loving them.
I deepened two of my friendships considerably.
I showed up for my life. I loved myself. I was kind. I did the best I could.
David got into college!
Describe 2022 in 3 words: challenging, spacious, growth.
If the events of 2022 were made into a film or a book, what would it be called? And finally.
Before we finish with 2022, take a few minutes to write out anything else you need to say to the old year in the space below. You might like to say some final goodbyes and thank yous…Dear Karen, I am really proud of all the work you’ve done this year. I am proud of how you stuck with it. Got the help you needed. Took care of yourself. Stood by your people. Learned to let go and sit with uncertainty. You are so strong and kind. Remember this feeling of spaciousness, it’s how you’re meant to feel. Remember what matters most. Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. I love you.
