The Joy of Art – January 05, 2024 at 09:42AM

 

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

#art #kolbieblume #thiswritingdesk #loveyourimperfectletters #etchr #practicingwatercolor #practicinglettering #practicingart #learningtowatercolor #learningtoletter #learningtopaint #landscapes #watercolorjournal #watercolors #watercolor #watercolorlandscape #watercolorsunset #landscapeart #seascapes #etchrsketchbooks #etchrsketchbook
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The Joy of Art – January 04, 2024 at 08:47AM

 

…the strange ones…

#art #kolbieblume #thiswritingdesk #loveyourimperfectletters #etchr #practicingwatercolor #practicinglettering #practicingart #learningtowatercolor #learningtoletter #learningtopaint #landscapes #watercolorjournal #watercolors #watercolor #watercolorlandscape #watercolorsunset #landscapeart #seascapes #etchrsketchbooks #etchrsketchbook
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The Joy of Art – January 03, 2024 at 09:23AM

 

Painting: I read about the #pantonechallenge2020 back in August and ordered myself the set of postcards and a set of acrylic gouache and did one card to try and then let them sit thinking I would use them for this year’s 100-day challenge but now I’ve been painting them and having so much fun so I am not sure if I will use them for that or just have fun whenever I am in the mood.

#art #pantonechallenge #pantone #color #acrylicpainting #acrylicgouache #gouache #watercolor #landscape #landscapepainting #holbein #holbeingouache #holbeinacrylagouache #clouds #havingfun #learningtopaint

The Joy of Art – January 03, 2024 at 09:17AM

 

Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.

#art #kolbieblume #thiswritingdesk #loveyourimperfectletters #etchr #practicingwatercolor #practicinglettering #practicingart #learningtowatercolor #learningtoletter #learningtopaint #landscapes #watercolorjournal #watercolors #watercolor #watercolorlandscape #watercolorsunset #landscapeart #seascapes #etchrsketchbooks #etchrsketchbook
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The Joy of Art – January 02, 2024 at 01:54PM

No one sees what you see even if they see it too.

My kid and husband don’t love the lettering, they think it should be either art or lettering but I like it so here I went small since I was conflicted…

#art #kolbieblume #thiswritingdesk #loveyourimperfectletters #etchr #practicingwatercolor #practicinglettering #practicingart #learningtowatercolor #learningtoletter #learningtopaint #landscapes #watercolorjournal #watercolors #watercolor #watercolorlandscape #watercolorsunset #landscapeart #seascapes #etchrsketchbooks #etchrsketchbook
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The Joy of Art – January 01, 2024 at 09:31AM

 

Start where you are and change the ending.

I didn’t plan it this way but a good quote for the first day of the year. Start where you are. Here’s to wonderful endings for all of us. Happy New Year.

#art #kolbieblume #thiswritingdesk #loveyourimperfectletters #etchr #practicingwatercolor #practicinglettering #practicingart #learningtowatercolor #learningtoletter #learningtopaint #landscapes #watercolorjournal #watercolors #watercolor #watercolorlandscape #watercolorsunset #landscapeart #seascapes #etchrsketchbooks #etchrsketchbook
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Review: The Defense

The Defense
The Defense by Steve Cavanagh
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This was a fast paced thriller, but I think my mind was distracted so I never properly got into it and didn’t care enough to really get engrossed in it.

View all my reviews

Review: The Cemetery of Untold Stories

The Cemetery of Untold Stories
The Cemetery of Untold Stories by Julia Alvarez
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I am a big fan of Julia Alvarez and have loved several of her novels. I love her narrative style and I love her beautiful characters and this book is no exception.

This is the story of Alma who is a famous author who decides to move back to her home country and create a cemetery of untold stories to honor and bury all the stories that won’t leave her alone but that she’s not managed to write.

The novel intermingles Alma’s story with Filomena’s (a worker she hires to tend to her cemetery) and several of the characters also tell their stories. Each story is unique and interesting and you can’t help but get attached.

IT wasn’t my favorite of Alvarez’s novels but I still loved all the moments I spent with it.

with gratitude to netgalley and Algonquin Books for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review

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BOOKS READ IN 2023

  • My favorite read of the year was: Wellness by Nathan Hill (My runners up are Family Family by Frankel and The Wedding People by Alison Espach)
  • My favorite sci-fi (sortof) read of the year was: Fourth Wing
  • My favorite Fantasy read of the year was: The Book of Doors
  • My favorite uplit read of the year was: Cassandra in Reverse
  • My favorite nonfiction read of the year was: Radiant Rebellion
  • My favorite Historical Fiction read of the year was: The Women
  • My favorite Mystery read of the year was: Small Mercies
  • My favorite graphic novel read of the year was: When Stars are Scattered

Here are a few other books I loved

  • The River We Remember
  • Go As a River
  • Queen of Dirt Island
  • Shark Heart
  • The Second Ending
  • After Annie
  • The Last Murder at the End of the World
  • The Heart of it All
  • Thornhedge
  • The Other Mother
  • Adeleide
  • Tom Lake
  • The Bird Hotel
  • The Vulnerables
  • Tell Me How to Be
  • Foster
  • Happiness Falls

Here are all 202 books I’ve read this year. You can see my goodreads reviews here.

  1. A Chance for Us (Willow Creek Valley, #4)
  2. A Love Letter to Whiskey
  3. A River Enchanted (Elements of Cadence, #1)
  4. A Short Walk Through a Wide World
  5. A Woman’s Guide to Inner Child Healing: Overcome Trauma, Recognize Your Feelings, Learn to Let the Past Go, and Become the Best Version of Yourself
  6. Absolution
  7. Adelaide
  8. After Annie
  9. All the Dangerous Things
  10. Always Human
  11. Amazing Grace Adams
  12. Antarctica
  13. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Aristotle and Dante, #1)
  14. Art for Self-Care: Create Powerful, Healing Art by Listening to Your Inner Voice
  15. August Blue
  16. Babel
  17. Baby X
  18. Beautiful Shining People: The extraordinary, EPIC speculative masterpiece…
  19. Before I Let Go (Skyland, #1)
  20. Before She Finds Me
  21. Before the Coffee Gets Cold (Before the Coffee Gets Cold, #1)
  22. Beginner’s Guide to Sketching Buildings & Landscapes: Perspective and Proportions for Drawing Architecture, Gardens and More! (With over 500 illustrations)
  23. Beverly Bonnefinche Is Dead
  24. Big Swiss
  25. Birnam Wood
  26. But You Have Friends
  27. Bye, Baby
  28. Cassandra in Reverse
  29. Check & Mate
  30. City People
  31. Come and Get It
  32. Creative Wanderlust: Unlock Your Artistic Potential Through Mixed-Media Art Journaling Techniques – With 8 sheets of printed papers for journaling and collage
  33. Damsel
  34. Day
  35. Demon Copperhead
  36. Drowning
  37. Every Summer After
  38. Everyone Here Is Lying
  39. Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone (Ernest Cunningham, #1)
  40. Everything’s Fine
  41. Excavations
  42. Expiration Dates
  43. Family Family
  44. Family Lore
  45. Fellowship Point
  46. Foster
  47. Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1)
  48. French Holiday
  49. Gender Is Really Strange
  50. Gender Queer
  51. Go as a River
  52. Going Infinite: The Rise and Fall of a New Tycoon
  53. Gone Tonight
  54. Happiness Falls
  55. Hello Stranger
  56. Homebodies
  57. How To Be Remembered
  58. I Am Homeless If This Is Not My Home
  59. I Feel Awful, Thanks
  60. I Have Some Questions for You
  61. I’m Glad My Mom Died
  62. If Something Happens to Me
  63. If We’re Being Honest
  64. In the Dream House
  65. In the Lives of Puppets
  66. Ink Blood Sister Scribe
  67. Iron Flame (The Empyrean, #2)
  68. Just Another Missing Person
  69. Korean Grammar for Beginners Textbook + Workbook Included: Supercharge Your Korean With Essential Lessons and Exercises
  70. Kritzelpixel
  71. Learn to Draw in 5 Weeks: A Beginner’s Workbook for All Ages
  72. Little Monsters
  73. Look Again: The Power of Noticing What Was Always There
  74. Lost in the Moment and Found (Wayward Children, #8)
  75. Lost in Time
  76. Lost to Dune Road
  77. Love, Theoretically
  78. Man’s Search for Meaning
  79. Meet Me at the Lake
  80. My Murder
  81. Never Lie
  82. Nightcrawling
  83. None of This Is True
  84. One Moment
  85. One of the Girls
  86. One Puzzling Afternoon
  87. Only If You’re Lucky
  88. Only Love Can Hurt Like This
  89. Pageboy
  90. Pineapple Street
  91. Promise Boys
  92. Radiant Rebellion: Reclaim Aging, Practice Joy, and Raise a Little Hell
  93. Remember Love
  94. Ripe
  95. Romantic Comedy
  96. Rules for Second Chances
  97. Savor It
  98. Sea Change
  99. Shark Heart
  100. She Gets the Girl
  101. Silicon Hearts
  102. Small Mercies
  103. Someday, Maybe
  104. Speech Team
  105. Starling House
  106. Symphony of Secrets
  107. Tangled Up in You (Meant to Be, #4)
  108. Tell Me How to Be
  109. The Art of the Line in Drawing: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Simple, Expressive Drawings
  110. The Bandit Queens
  111. The Beauty of Rain
  112. The Bird Hotel
  113. The Block Party
  114. The Book of Doors
  115. The Celebrants
  116. The Connellys of County Down
  117. The Coworker
  118. The Creative Act: A Way of Being
  119. The Eden Test
  120. The Employees: A Workplace Novel of the 22nd Century
  121. The Endless Vessel
  122. The Family Game
  123. The Five-Star Weekend
  124. The Good Part
  125. The Guilty Husband
  126. The Heart of It All
  127. The Heiress
  128. The Hike
  129. The Honeymoon Crashers (Unhoneymooners, #1.5)
  130. The Intern
  131. The Invisible Hour
  132. The Last Love Note
  133. The Last Murder at the End of the World
  134. The Last Ranger
  135. The Lightkeeper’s Daughters
  136. The Lost Bookshop
  137. The Many Lives of Mama Love: A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing
  138. The Marriage Act
  139. The Memo
  140. The Minimum Method
  141. The Minuscule Mansion of Myra Malone
  142. The Mostly True Story of Tanner and Louise
  143. The Other Mother
  144. The Other Valley
  145. The Passengers
  146. The Plus One (A Brush with Love, #3)
  147. The Possibilities
  148. The Queen of Dirt Island
  149. The Quiet Tenant
  150. The Rachel Incident
  151. The River We Remember
  152. The Second Chance Year
  153. The Second Ending
  154. The Senator’s Wife
  155. The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida
  156. The Seven Sisters (The Seven Sisters, #1)
  157. The Seven Year Slip
  158. The Space Between Worlds (The Space Between Worlds #1)
  159. The Sweet Spot
  160. The Tainted Cup (Shadow of the Leviathan, #1)
  161. The Takedown
  162. The Terminal List (Terminal List, #1)
  163. The Third Person
  164. The Throwback Special
  165. The Trail of Lost Hearts
  166. The True Love Experiment
  167. The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy
  168. The Unmaking of June Farrow
  169. The Vaster Wilds
  170. The Villa
  171. The Vulnerables
  172. The Way Forward
  173. The Wedding People
  174. The Whispers
  175. The Wishing Game
  176. The Women
  177. These Impossible Things
  178. Thistlefoot
  179. Thornhedge
  180. Through the Snow Globe
  181. Throwback
  182. Till There Was You
  183. Tom Lake
  184. Translation State
  185. True Believer (Terminal List, #2)
  186. Watch Us Shine
  187. Watercolor Your Way: Techniques, Palettes, and Projects To Fit Your Skill Level and Creative Goals
  188. We Are All So Good at Smiling
  189. Wellness
  190. What Alice Forgot
  191. What Lies in the Woods
  192. What We Could Have Been
  193. When Stars Are Scattered
  194. Wolf Hollow (Lew Ferris, #1)
  195. Women of Good Fortune
  196. Yellowface
  197. You Always Feel Better When…: Five-Minute Reset Exercises to Change the Day
  198. You Are Here
  199. You, with a View
  200. Yours Truly (Part of Your World, #2)

UNRAVELING – GOODBYE TO 2023

As always, I want to start by saying that this is going to be a long post. These reflective posts are how I make sure to live my life intentionally. They matter to me and I love being able to look back on them in future years. I know that this might not be interesting to many (if not any) of you, so please feel free to skip it. If some of you find it interesting, all the better.

This particular exercise is following Susannah Conway’s Unraveling 2024 sheet. You can download it right here. I split the reflective questions looking back on 2023 in and the questions to help clarify goals/dreams for 2024 into two posts. This is part I, part II comes next week. All questions are Susannah’s and are copyrighted to her.

Describe 2023 in three words:  challenging, change, grateful

If the events of 2023 were made into a film or a book, what would it be called? She tried, she grew, she let go.

Describe the plot and main characters of 2023. Any unexpected plot twists? Yes, so many twists and so many new characters. I am grateful for the new friends I made this year and people who held me and showed me so much patience and kindness. This year had some really hard moments and also some wonderful joys as many of them seem to lately. I am grateful to be here and grateful to love and be loved by so many people.

Did you have a word, words or a phrase for 2023? open

If you did, how have they guided and supported you through the last 12 months?  After my leave in the summer of 2022, I felt so much spaciousness and openness and I really wanted to hold on to that feeling of calm and generosity. I wanted to remember that I have what I need and it’s all icing from here onwards. Even though I lost that feeling on and off throughout the year, I can still connect with it deeply and my body remembers that feeling. Each time I felt myself closing in, I reminded myself to stay open. It has been a good companion for this year and I expect it will be a word I will carry all my life. 

How have you evolved over the last 12 months? What feels different now? Hmmm.  I think I feel calmer and more grounded. I also feel like I can see the good around me better. I also feel more generous about letting others be who they are.

When did you stand up for yourself in 2023? (And when didn’t you?) Several times at work and several times at home. I feel like I worked hard to protect myself and stand up for my needs. In both cases, I put up with more than I should have in several instances. My threshold is higher than it should be but I am working on it.

What’s supported you most in 2023? What’s really helped? I think it was a combination of things: I feel really supported at work with both friends and my manager. I am grateful for that. I also felt really supported by friends and art and books helped so much as they always do. And, of course, therapy helped a lot too.

What exhausted you in 2023? Did you notice at the time? I am most definitely emotionally exhausted. The beginning of 2023 was very tough with getting covid, surgery and a few really tough conversations. The last few months have been very intense at work with a lot to do. I also haven’t been sleeping well which isn’t helping either.

What did you let go of this year? And how do you feel about this? I am learning to let go of control. Of certainty that I think that I have but of course don’t have. I am learning to let things be and have faith that I can take whatever comes my way.

What new priorities have you uncovered in 2023? Big or small. This year, I invested a lot into slowing down. I took longer to get out of bed, I gave myself more grace and I didn’t push myself as hard. I also worked hard to have my people’s back. My people and myself are my priorities. 

Which connections have you cherished the most in 2023? Of course my family. Also friendships both old and new. My connection with Ellen at work. Several work colleagues who I’ve really loved working with.

What ambushed you in 2023? How did you deal with it? Covid, some conversations at work and home, and so many hard decisions. I am still learning to deal with it. I am trying to walk the path slowly and gracefully. 

If your body could talk, what has it been saying this year? I am here to support you and I know that when you’re ready, you will do better.

How have you taken care of yourself physically? What’s worked? What needs work? I tried to be less intense this year than I was last year but I think that resulted in relaxing too much and I didn’t work out nearly as much as I should have. I am weaker than I was last year. But that’s ok. I’ll slowly get back where I need to be.

How have you taken care of yourself mentally? What’s worked? What needs work? I’ve done a lot of learning this year. Both at work and for creativity. I didn’t take as many classes as I would have liked, but I liked everything I took and I practiced a lot. I also spent a year learning Korean. I am looking forward to taking more classes next year. 

How have you taken care of yourself emotionally? What’s worked? What needs work? I did a lot of therapy and work on myself this year. I’d like to say it worked but of course I need more work. I am grateful for all the time and effort I’ve invested into it. I plan to continue to do so.

The Releasing – Go gently with this next section. This is the space to remember the losses, the goodbyes and the struggles. Did anything happen in 2023 that needs to be forgiven, perhaps? Use this space to note down the more difficult moments of 2023 and keep going in your journal if you feel ready to untangle your feelings further. So much happened this year. I messed up so many times, I caused pain, I was hurtful or neglectful. I messed up more than I would like. I also got hurt so much. People were unkind. Conversations were difficult. I felt lonely and alone and unseen and broken and helpless. It was a tough year. 

The Gratitudes – Use this page to record everything you’re grateful for
from this wild and unpredictable year. Big things, little things, the profound and the everyday. What are you grateful for? I am so grateful that my family is healthy and safe. I am so grateful that I have good friends who see me and love me and are so incredibly kind to me. I am so grateful for my parents’ support and love. I am so grateful that I love to paint and can practice it every day. I am grateful for people who share their talent with us. I am grateful for art classes. I am grateful that I can afford them. I am grateful that I am learning to give myself grace. I am grateful that I made it this far. I am grateful that we’re together.

What are you proud of yourself for in 2023? I am proud that I finally did the surgery. I am proud that I am working hard and doing my best. I am proud of learning to give myself more grace. I am proud of learning to let go of control and learning to see my people and give them the space they need to be who they are. I have grown and learned so much. I’ve also realized that my capacity for all things is much higher than average.

When did you feel most like yourself this year? I can’t remember a particular time. I do think I am most like myself when I have a few days off and I can center myself and go back to that feeling of spaciousness. 

What have you healed this year (or identified needs healing)? I have identified a lot but I don’t really think I’ve healed anything in particular. 

What questions and explorations are you taking with you into 2024? I am taking everything with me. I plan to spend a lot of 2024 exploring who I am.

What’s deepened in your life? What’s changing in ways that delight you? Hmm… I don’t think I have a good answer for that except maybe my ability to see when people are kind to me. 

Who are you becoming? Does it excite or scare you? Hold space for the feelings…I think more than ever before, I am ready to become myself. Even though I’ve never been willing to be anything but me, I also think that I wasn’t always sure who I am in many ways and I am ready to find out.

Before we finish with 2023, take a few minutes to write out anything else you want to say to the old year. You might like to say some final goodbyes and thank yous…

Dear 2023, you were a hard one, for sure. This year started with covid and a surgery and then became very emotionally challenging and then became really mentally challenging but I am still here and I have learned and grown through the process. And I am a better person for it. Having said that, I don’t mind if we can make the next one a little less stressful.

Thank you 2023, you are now complete.

Review: After Annie

After Annie
After Annie by Anna Quindlen
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

“It had been almost two months and he still waited for her to walk in the back door every morning. That morning he had leaned over Ali’s bed, and when his daughter opened her eyes and he saw the look in them, he knew she did, too. They were all floating in some in-between where nothing seemed real and nothing seemed right. Waiting for the rest of life, whatever that was, a future that felt like a betrayal. He kept her phone charged.”

I started this novel months and months ago because I love Anna Quindlen and I knew it would be phenomenal. But it’s about what happens to a family when the mom dies. And it was so heartbreaking that I had to put it down. For months.

I picked it up and put it down many, many, many times because this year was hard enough on its own and I didn’t need to sit in more grief. I didn’t want to sit in more grief.

““Yep,” he said. Her “complicated” and his “yep” were first cousins, were two answers designed to keep the jack in the box, because who knew what might pop out, everyone has a whole universe of trouble inside and no one wants the world to know.”

Finally a few days ago I was ready to tackle it and I am so glad I did. I will say that I still think it’s very, very, very sad. The grief pours out of each page. It’s heavy and hard to read. Especially because it’s not “in your face” grief. It’s not wailing. It’s the quiet, subtle grief that’s so much more heart wrenching. It’s the little moments that will never be the same. It’s the ordinary losses that feel so acute.

“You know, one thing I like about Miss Cruz,” Ali said. “She never says that. It’s like she knows that time can pass, and things can get better, or things can get worse, or maybe they’ll just stay the same. People act like time will fix things so everything will be the same again, everything will be all right, but sometimes it’s the opposite. Ant can get harder and meaner until that’s the person he is, for all time.”

There’s so much sadness and grief in this story. But there’s also moments of joy and hope. As with life, mostly we tend to move on, mostly we’re resilient and we recover. People help us. Kindness helps us. And we pick up our pieces and we find a way to survive and if we’re lucky we also find a way back to joy.

What a beautiful story this was. As with all her stories, this will stay with me for a long time.

with gratitude to netgalley and Random House for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review

View all my reviews

Review: The Wedding People

The Wedding People
The Wedding People by Alison Espach
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

“There is no such thing as a happy place. Because when you are happy, everywhere is a happy place. And when you are sad, everywhere is a sad place.”

What a gift it is to read one of my favorite books for the year during the last few days of the year. This book was such a journey and so unexpected.

“I think we talk about happiness all wrong. As if it’s this fixed state we’re going to reach. Like we’ll just be able to live there, forever. But that’s not my experience with happiness. For me, it comes and go. It shows up and then disappears like a bubble.”

It’s the story of Phoebe who is at a particularly low moment in her life and can’t see a way out. It’s the story of Lila who is at a particularly high moment in her life about to get married. And how their lives clash and entangle in the most unexpected of ways.

“They get back in the car. She wonders if her feelings for Gary could be a new form of love, one she’s never known before: love without expectation. Love that you are just happy enough to feel. Love that you don’t try to own like a painting. But she doesn’t know if that is a real thing. She hopes it is. She looks out to the side of the road, like she’s a kid going on an errand with her father, announcing whatever billboard she sees.”

There are so many “life” stories in this one book. And it’s not about any one of them as much as it is about all of them. Infertility, infidelity, marriage, getting old, getting married, losing a parent, feeling lonely, death of a loved one, disappointment, loss, suicidal ideation, friendship, connection, lack of connection, art, literature, and so so much more.

“It is not an easy thing to do, walk away from what you’ve built and save yourself. It is so much easier to sit in things and wait for something to save us.”

At its core, it’s about what all good books are about, for me, it’s about humans trying hard to be humans in a world that’s hard, confusing, complicated and complex. It’s about trying to understand what cannot be understood. Life is not simple. Humans are not simple. We can’t even understand our own feelings let alone predict what others’ are feeling.

“Because Gary is not wrong—becoming who you want to be is just like anything else. It takes practice.”

I loved every one of the moments I spent with these flawed, confused characters. It all seemed real to me, and I loved the brutally honest conversations and the confused ones and the fake ones because they all seemed part of life for me, too. I just felt for all of them because I could see their struggle. Because I could see how hard it was to be a human.

“She is so good at predicting what will happen in books, so bad at predicting what will happen in life. That is why she has always preferred books—because to be alive is much harder.”

I cannot recommend this story enough. It was deeply moving and meaningful to me, what a gift it is to get to read stories like these.

with gratitude to Henry Holt & Company and netgalley for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review

View all my reviews