April was a long, long month. Mostly because I had so many things I wanted/needed to get done during April that I spent most of it really anxious about whether everything would fall in place seamlessly or not. I am grateful that it mostly did. And yet it was still a really tough month for me.

This months intention was to take Joyful Leap: Time to go on adventures. See some colleges. Have deep conversations. See possibilities.

i took some leaps. We did go see colleges, we had some lovely conversations with friends. I went to see one of my nephews graduate. and I saw my parents after 3+ years. I tried to see possibilities. I did the best I could with where I was.

Here are some goals I had for April:

• continue to draw daily – did this. going strong.
• Go back to nourish plans/list – or at least make progress – not great on this.
• do most of of HCOTF – i did almost none of it this month, it was a total bust
• college tours – Pgh, Bos, Chi – did this
• Aksel’s graduation in Michigan – did this
• Support J – did this
• celebrate Nathaniel’s birthday – did this
• go back to the office – did this
• mail the taxes – did this
• take care of the work situation – did this too
• take a class – took Liz’s Tell It class, it was profoundly impactful
• file leave – did this
• help D and N – did this
• journal – journaled a lot as part of the tell it class
• Continue documenting the joy – did this too
• Connect with friends at least 2 times, ideally 4 – well we stayed with Eric and Samantha, I chatted with Audrey and then also with Jessica and briefly with Ashlie even. We also saw J’s friends Cathy and Max. and then I went to graduation and saw a lot of family. And I saw Leslie. I feel like I did this one.
• Love my people – I’ve loved my people so hard.
• read more, still. – I did read this month but still not as much as usual
• Scrap and OLW – did neither of these this month to be honest.
• Go climbing – did this but considerably less than usual likely around 1.5x a week.
• dive deeper into ease, release, equanimity, space, possibility and see what you might want to do for each. – didn’t really do this one, i will have to do it in May
• figure out linode and cloud stuff for email. – tried to do this but really couldn’t do it 🙁
• take care of karenika email – did this the first day of May
• try to stay sane – jury is out on this one.

I was brave for all of April. I did a lot of things that are hard for me. A lot of travel, a lot of socializing, a lot of advocating for my people, seeing a lot of family all around. Figuring out things at work, getting a new job, giving notice, taking leave. All of these were really hard.

I took a new job after eight years at this job. Even though it’s the same company, it was still really tough. I decided to take a leave which was also incredibly hard. I haven’t taken time off in a serious way since I started working in 1996. All these were big steps.

I got on the airplane for the first time since February 2020. In fact, I got on 7 planes in April. I filed and paid my taxes. I toured 6 colleges. I said a million goodbyes. I showed up for my people again and again. I am proud of all I did. It might be not much for someone else but it was a lot for me.

May will continue to be busy for the first half. My family will be here and then I have one more trip east. After that I hope that things will quiet down and I can take some much needed time to be quiet. I am also trying not to plan things and not to fill the days up. I want to create some space. And to be ok sitting with things.

I will continue to try take it each one day at a time and look for the joy again and again. Because I know that joy is possible in each and every moment.

Here’s to hoping May is full of joy.