Today wasn’t a good photo day. I didn’t capture enough. I am guessing I am a bit worn out from the WIL project I did last week and a bit overloaded on photos. It’s ok, I don’t mind the fluctuations. I’ve learned it’s a part of life.
Here’s David running towards me with a story. That little boy can talk!! He takes after his mommy. Tells me stories all day long.
And here he is posing for camera. I’m not a fan of the posed look. But when he tells me to take a photo, I take a photo.
And here’s the only good one of the little boy.
I worked a lot today, didn’t do much else but I am ok with that. I am feeling better though still in back and jaw pain which I am not particularly happy about. But it shall pass. This week literally flew by and I can’t even remember anything I did with it.
I did start Pam Carriker’s class last night tho and I love it so far! Here’s my first sketch from last night:
it’s got a long way to go and all the ones I did after this are even worse but I am still playing. I am drawing. I can do this. I promised myself I will draw at least one face every day this week before I move on to the next lesson.
Note to Self:
Soooo…I decided to do something crazy today. A part of me is still undecided about it but then another part wants to plunge ahead. So let’s see what I actually end up doing. I have been feeling blah and unmotivated etc. lately as you already know. While some of it is gone, the rest is still here so I decided I will jumpstart the process and “Fake it till I feel it” so I am going to do a Layout a Day in May. I might sprinkle in some art journal pages in there, too but I am not sure yet. That sort of feels like cheating. Is that cheating? I still need to plan and prepare so let’s see if I have time to do that in the one day before the month starts! Am I crazy? I think a bit. And I am not feeling 100% good about this yet. But…maybe it’s best just to take the plunge. I wonder if it will leave me more depleted or invigorated…
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Almost Friday baby! This is going to be a bit more of a hectic weekend than I’d like but still I love the weekend.
2. I am grateful for chocolate today. I love chocolate. A little too much.
3. Grateful for feeling and being more productive, too. It makes me feel better to feel better, isn’t that crazy?
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Grateful for Daddy.
2. Grateful for playing with Nathaniel.
Well finally it was a better day! I woke up at 5am and decided to just get stuff done. I worked and worked very hard and then I finished some smaller but nagging items on my list. I even did an art journal page which is also for an upcoming creative therapy. It wasn’t as productive as I usually am but it’s certainly a move in the right direction. Happie, happie.
This morning David was trying to get me to take a photos of the two of them but Nathaniel refused to cooperate. Hard to capture two kids simultaneously.
But I did a bit better when they were playing together. David loves pushing him around and Nathaniel loves being pushed. Happy kids make a happy mommy.
Today was pajama day in David’s school so he got to wear his new Lego Batman PJs. He was very happy.
And while he was at school and I was working, Nathaniel rummaged through my papers. Maybe he’s trying to remind me that I need to scrap more often.
After I picked up David, we all went to lunch together and that was great but then we came home and I was suddenly exhausted. I could barely hold my head up. So my productivity in the afternoon was considerably worse. Thankfully, I’d done enough in the morning to feel good that I am not upset now. I also always get another rush of productivity in the evening so we’ll see.
I haven’t mentioned my Silliness class cause I’ll be honest, I haven’t been working on it. I guess I am not silly enough 🙁 I thought it would be more about drawing but I was wrong. I don’t regret taking it cause David and I had a lot of fun doing many of the worksheets but I can’t say it was the best choice for me. I rarely rarely ever not do ALL of the work in a class so this is definitely an exception.
On that note, my order from dickblick finally arrived and I am off to sign up for Pam Carriker’s Pursuing Portraits class. I think I can never have enough portrait classes and I am in awe of her art so even if only 5% of it rubs off on me, it will be worth it.
Note to Self:
One of the things that really helps with feeling better is starting the day on a good note. On either a really productive note or a really fun note. So this is for me to remember that if I wake up tired and cannot be productive right away, I should do something that’s fun for me. This might be obvious but it isn’t always to me. I often check my mail and my reader and then get caught in the circle of checking more mail, more blogs, etc. While this might be interesting at times, it’s rarely fun or productive. Instead, I should play with my kids, go on a walk, draw, paint, scrap, work, or even take a bubble bath first thing. I think this is important. It sets the tone of the day. Are there any of you out there who, like me, aren’t morning people but are stuck getting up early? What do you do to get yourself in the mood of the day and to start it on the right foot?
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I am finally feeling a little better. Here’s to baby steps.
2. I have started listening to a book by Richard Feynman. His letters. He is so amazing and so inspring and just listening to his daughter talk about him makes me happy. I am grateful that there were (are) people like that in the world
3. I am grateful for lunch with my kids. As we were sitting in the coffee shop, chatting and eating, I sat back and realized this was exactly the life I’d wished for and I am so blessed and thankful to have it.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Going out to lunch with Mommy and Nathaniel
2. Playing with Noah’s Glass Ironman at school
Well, not much to say today. I was slightly more productive but I am still grouchy and in pain. My jaw and back and head are hurting so I am going to go crawl somewhere instead of writing not so nice things.
Nathaniel has been playing with the duplos nonstop. So has David to be honest. I am so glad legos are finally taking over our house. I love legos.
Nathaniel’s also taken to shrieking randomly. And it’s not very much fun.
Well that’s about it from the karenika household for today. Off to get my coffee and hide in the sand until I feel better.
Note to Self:
I’ve been working really hard not to attribute any meaning to this lack of enthusiasm I’ve been feeling. It might be hormones. It might be pain. It might be more, it might be this it might be that but I am trying to just let myself go through it and not over-analyze it (which is definitely my default instinct.) I am just trying to let it do its thing and then pass. It’s hard. It’s been longer than I’d like but I know it will pass. I will wake up and feel like myself soon. I hope it’s really soon, though.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for Glee tonight. Love Glee.
2. I am grateful that I did actually accomplish a bunch of todo list items today.
3. I am grateful that my husband’s been sitting with me so much, trying to keep me company so my mood improves. And I love being around him so much. I am so lucky.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing at home. He’s been keeping busy.
2. I’m grateful for Nathaniel’s toys, he told me today. For all of them.
The tulips are almost over. Almost at their life’s end but they are still so very beautiful.
So I was feeling much better this morning. I even thought the grouch was gone. But it appears to be back now. It was all going so well. After picking David up from school and eating lunch, I thought it would be great to get the kids to play outside. Nathaniel has been skipping his afternoon naps so I thought it would help with that, too.
They did really have fun being outside.
Though Nathaniel wasn’t sure about the grass and kept his leg raised the whole time.
Here’s a closeup. Isn’t it funny?
And it did work. After outside time, I put him down and he took a nice 1-hour nap. Success. or Coincidence. Who knows.
After that I just got less and less productive and my energy went down. I am just not feeling motivated. I wish I were. Maybe I should just go to sleep really early for a few days and see if it makes a difference.
Note to Self:
One of the things I struggle with the most is creativity. I’ve never wanted to be a singer or a dancer. But I’ve always wanted to be an artist (and a writer). I crave the ability to draw. The passion, the creativity, the talent. My desire is deep and wide and I so wish I could draw. I could sculpt. I could draw my feelings. I wish I could make scrap pages, art journals, etchings, paintings, sewing like many of the artists I admire. It’s like an ache.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for the tiny path of yard we have. It was so nice to get to sit outdoors today and let the kids play while I worked. My dream.
2. I am grateful for my patient husband who never takes it personally when I am grouchy. He’s always kind and wonderful.
3. I am grateful that I seem to be feeling a bit better. Here’s to an even better tomorrow.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing at school (he played batman and is apparently climbing something.)
2. Snack time at school (pretzels and tangerines today)
So we started our day with a delicious breakfast at the local cafe with Levent. And then there was hugs good-bye. walks at the park, naps, and lots of playtime. I will just leave you with some wonderful photos from our day.
I’ve also finished my Week in the Life project. Still only digital. I will post all my pages soon. I need to go to bed now.
Note to Self:
Despite the fact that I’ve struggled to accomplish things last week and I had no time to catch up this week, I am feeling great about things in general. I feel like the sense of peace I so wished I always had is finally here and covering me like a blanket.
And it’s as amazing as I hoped it would be. I feel a sense of calm, belonging, and contentment. (I think the word contentment is underrated. Being content sounds like settling, but I think feeling satisfied about one’s life is exactly the perfect way to be. Knowing that things are good, loving what is. I think that’s the key to happiness.)
Of course, I still have a million things I want to accomplish and many times I feel frustrated, insecure, sad etc. but overall, I feel much happier, much more grounded, and a consistent sense of peace in my life. And I want to write this down so I can remember it forever.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a stroll around the neighborhood, taking photos and enjoying nature.
2. I am grateful for a day of rest and relaxation and enjoying both my kids, watching them play and giggle together. Nothing better than that.
3. I am grateful for spring. This morning, as we left for breakfast, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping and I just felt a deep sense of peace. Peace was my word for 2009 and it looks like I have finally achieved it. For that alone, I am deeply grateful.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Getting to have a croissant and apple juice for breakfast.
2. Going to the park and getting to play. And for Nathaniel’s new duplos. And wii time, too.
Happy Birthday Nathaniel!!!!!!!
Today my little boy turned one. A whole year. I cannot believe how fast time passes. As Grethen Rubin says, “The days are long but the years are short.” Yes, indeed.
Little boy started the day really early. So we both went down for a nap around 8:30 and woke up around 10:30. The night before, right as I was nursing him for bed, he started doing peek-a-boo back at me. It was and still is the most hilarious thing ever.
He doesn’t always get it right but he does it with a lot of joy and we both laugh like crazy.
When he woke up from his nap, he was really happy and giggled wit his dad for quite some time.
After we got prepared, we walked down to the little park in our complex and set him up in his chair and put his hat on (left from David’s first) but he wasn’t all too fond of it.
A few of our neighbors came over to celebrate with us and brought their little ones, too. We then sang to him and cut his cake.
A little chatting, some eating, some playing with the babies and we were back at home, going down for the second nap. After which, we drove to SFO to pick up my childhood best friend (and first boyfriend) Levent who happened to be visiting Las Vegas from Istanbul for a bachelor party and took a detour to come visit us. We drove into the city with him and did touristy things like Lombard street, Pier 39, and driving around.
After that, we came back home, put the kids down and Levent and I went to In’n’Out burger, drove to Google campus, and then came back home to chat until we were both too tired. (Sadly it was only 11:30pm, we’re getting old.)
All in all, an absolutely perfect day!
Note to Self:
I was worried about today and how overwhelmingly busy I thought it was going to be. I generally like my weekends to be completely free, let alone booked to the rim. But I kept telling myself to have faith. Both of the plans we had were for wonderful events with great people.
And we were lucky the whole day through. The weather shone. People showed up to Nathaniel’s party and they were kind, sweet, and happy. We felt overjoyed and lucky.
Seeing Levent again was such a rare luxury and then to get to spend a day in city that we don’t visit nearly often enough, yet another total bonus. And then I get to spend some alone time with my friend and chat honestly and laugh and be happy.
What more can someone ask out of a single day? Sometimes you just have to have faith.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. My little boy’s birthday! He’s such an incredible person and has brought so much joy into our family. We are truly blessed to have him. Happy birthday my amazing son.
2. Levent coming to visit us. I hadn’t seen him in over 3 years and I am so glad he took the side trip to come spend a few hours with us. We love you!
3. Honestly, today I am truly grateful for my life.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Visiting San Francsico. It was his first time driving down Lombard and visiting the pier. He got to ride on Levent’s shoulders and he was thrilled.
2. Nathaniel’s birthday. The party wasn’t really great for David as there was no one his age but he was patient and well behaved. And he surely enjoyed all of Nathaniel’s gifts.
I bought tulips again. I need to buy tulips every week.
And day 5. Today was challenging for me. I took most of the shots with my little camera while we were out and about. After we picked up David, we went to the grocery store to get Nathaniel’s birthday cake and a bunch of groceries we needed.
It was a long trip and the kids were wonderfully behaved but by the time we got home, we were all starving. After the kids ate, I made myself food again. Asparagus this time and some Mediterranean salad I’d bought at the store. It was all delicious.
Jake came home early and took David to Chuck’e’Cheese for the first time. I’m told it was fun but we won’t be repeating it anytime soon.
Today was David’s Wii day this week cause tomorrow is a hectic day. While he was out, Nathaniel wanted to eat the remotes and got really mad at me for not letting him.
And since I hadn’t done a good job today, I asked David to smile for me so I could get a good shot of him for the day.
Not the best but I’ll take what I can get. I’ve already done the pages for today. Since my friend will be here tomorrow, I am guessing tomorrow’s pages will get done on Sunday but I am happy to be caught up because it’s much easier for me this way.
I am feeling apprehensive about the weekend. Even though it’s not really a lot, I feel like there’s a bunch of stuff going on and I am going to be so tired. I feel like I need to relax and let it go, I am stressing well in advance and likely it will be wonderful.
Note to Self:
I am so grumpy lately that it’s almost unbearable to me. I have these terrible headaches and jaw-aches (i have TMJ) that are driving me crazy. I am unproductive all day long but have a growing todo list and thus refuse to go to sleep and rest and yet I don’t actually do anything when I am up. I am mean to everyone around me. And my bad mood is only generating more bad mood for me. I don’t know how to get out of the cycle. I think it’s likely hormonal but it still sucks and I want to figure out how to snap out of it. Getting caught in these cycles is one of the most frustrating things to me and if I could build a toolset of how to get out of them, I think it would be a lifesaver.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I’m grateful for my life. Despite the fact that I’ve been feeling more down and introspective and unmotivated than usual, I am still fundamentally feeling happy. This is a huge shift for me. I cannot tell you what an amazing gift that is.
2. I often send emails to reach out to people I like to help. I might read that someone needs technical help or something else that I know and I will email them and offer to help. Sometimes people take me up on it and other times, they ignore me. Today someone gave me the opportunity to help and I am grateful for that. It helped me as much as her.
3. Grateful for a full but exciting weekend with birthdays, best friends, and hopefully some rest.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Legos are still on the top of his list.
2. Jake came home early today and took him to Chuck’e’Cheese. It was a blast for him.
This is a snapshot of my neighbor’s plant.
Here we are on day 4. I took a lot of photos today. As promised, I tried to get myself in more shots. I used my little camera, gave it to David, and tried taking photos with extending my arm. I even used Photobooth.
Can’t say any of them came out so well, but I still am happy I have them. I also snapped some of Jake and Nathaniel.
And here he is playing with the Tivo remote. Seriously his favorite thing to do.
And here he is, after finishing his teething biscuit. I gave it to him so he could be quiet during my phone meeting. He made a mess, of course.
Then we went to pick up David and he got to play in the playground for a bit and even got to go into the office and play with the trains. I love watching them play together.
Since our CSA arrived yesterday, I got to have a super healthy lunch. Salad, carrots, cucumbers, cheese, vinegar, and oil. Zucchini with onions and a little cheese. Two slices of bread. Preparation time: 8 minutes. I don’t know why I get too lazy to do this everyday.
After another failed nap attempt, and a bunch of work, we took a short walk to the park with our neighbor Sara and her son Matthew. Nathaniel did this funny thing where he kept raising this one leg and would not put it down. I couldn’t tell why but he seemed to keep doing it.
David ran around and fell a bunch of times and picked flowers for me.
We then came home for dinner, some play time, and bed.
Well I am off to do today’s pages.
Note to Self:
Here are some things I’ve come to realize about the week in the life project:
– It only works for me if I actually get to work on it everyday as the day happens. Even a day later, I cannot remember much anymore and I definitely lose enthusiasm for capturing it.
– I need to take more portrait shots, if I want to use the baseball card pockets. My shots always tend to favor landscape.
– I need to focus on each day’s writing. I can’t remember everything and I’d love to have a focus or two daily so I can capture those things and have a well-rounded set of journaling cards for the week. Trying to do that from here on out. Still 3 more days left.
– I am loving how the digital bits have turned out so far. Still not sure if I will print it out. Trying not to make the decision yet. The good thing is, I can get it printed anytime.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for the week in the life project. I love the fact that I am capturing so much of our daily, ordinary life. I know it will be even more meaningful years from now.
2. I am grateful for our quick walk around. I need to get out and into the sunshine more often. And be around other adults more often, too.
3. I am grateful for my family. My husband. My kids. My parents. My sister. My nephews. I have so much and I am so thankful.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Making ice cream at school. They used a “magic liquid” David tells me.
2. He got to have a little bit of chocolate ice cream today and he loved it.
And another shot from San Francisco.
Here we are in day three and I am still snapping a lot of photos. Not coherently and not all are going well but I am having fun with it. I am not documenting as much as I should but I am also trying not to give myself a lot of should and musts. This is why I was never able to do this before so I am trying not to talk myself out of it this time around.
I am still heavily unmotivated. Maybe hormonal? Maybe lack of sleep? Maybe meaningless? How about I document some right now?
My beautiful, handsome boy. Doesn’t like to get out of his pajamas. He wakes up and starts playing with his legos pretty much immediately. It takes me a few minutes to nurse the baby, change him, check my mail, and wake up enough to make food for the kids. So David gets a mix of Oatmeal (Cinnamon Roll) and Cream of Wheat (same flavor). He doesn’t know about the cream of wheat but once I mix the two, he eats it just fine. I put it in for iron which it has a lot of. Nathaniel gets to have a slice of bread, a banana, and some cheese (right now it’s white cheddar but he likes gouda, too.) While they eat, I empty the dishwasher and fill it up. I then check some more mail, etc.
Nathaniel is really into his water right now. He usually eats all of his food pretty quickly and then waits for me while sucking his thumb. He makes loud noises occasionally to ensure I don’t forget that he’s still sitting.
After breakfast, we all get to sit around and play. I read some of the blogs I follow or if I am feeling super-ambitious, I might do an art journal page. I will often check my work email, reply to anything urgent, etc. David plays with his legos or he draws. Nathaniel crawls around the room and chews everything he can get his hands on and then more. He’s still not walking but he likes to get up a lot and practices it often.
After that, David gets dressed (all by himself), I change Nathaniel, shower, get dressed and we’re off to drive David to school. In the car, we generally chat or I listen to one of my books on tape. Right now, I’m listening to Easier than you Think. I much prefer non fiction. After we drop him off, we come home and I put Nathaniel down for his nap. Some days he struggles and other days (like today) he’s so tired from being up since 5:48 am that he falls into a deep sleep. While he sleeps, I finally get to have my breakfast, which is coffee, graham crackers, and Dairy Milk chocolate (and some water). I also do work sometimes with TV, sometimes with music. I try to accomplish a lot during this time since it’s often my quietest time in the day. Around 11:30, I get Nathaniel and we go pick David up from school.
When we get home, I prepare lunch for all of us. Nathaniel gets veggies, yogurt, oatmeal and water. And then some pear or strawberries or apples. David gets to have green beans and meatballs. If he finishes quickly, he also gets some fruit of his choice and sometimes bread or yogurt. I have lately been eating a cheese sandwich with one slice of salami. If it’s CSA delivery day (Wednesdays), I get to have a fresh salad with carrots, etc.
And while we eat, we often chat with my Mom and Dad. It’s around 10pm their time.
As they continue eating, I do work. After lunch, they get to play for a while and then I put Nathaniel down again. I drink another coffee, David plays, and I do more work. Today, Nathaniel refused to nap so after a long while, I gave up and decided to take a short break to do chores. So I folded all the laundry that had been piling up for too long a time and Nathaniel took the opportunity to destroy my books. He also loved playing with the hangers.
After all that, some more playing time, and more work for me, it was dinner time. Nathaniel got some oranges, strawberries, yogurt, cheerios, and a few pears. David go to have a half of cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese and some yogurt. And some pears, too. Jake came home around then and we were all so happy to see him. After he went running, we finished up the food, and headed to the bath. Two kids washed, teeth flossed and brushed, numbers 1 and 2 in the toilet, and it is officially bedtime.
While I nursed and dressed Nathaniel, David picked our book for the night (here’s Nathaniel wanting to “explore” it by mostly destroying it.) and even though A Visitor for Bear is the most recent favorite, tonight we read Please, Baby, Please. Short and sweet. We were running late.
And then Nathaniel went to bed (and complained of course) and David, too, but he got to read some on his own. About an hour later, I went up to ask him his two things and he was already in bed with the lights off. He told me his two things, we said our goodnight words (Goodnight, sweet dreams, I love you with all my heart, I’ll see you in the morning) and I tucked him in.
I went back downstairs, made myself my third cup of coffee and here we are.
how’s that for documenting? my boring, predictable day. I love it.
Note to Self:
I spent a long time thinking about a Week in the Life today and whether I was going to do it or not and how. I love what Wilna, Cathy and Ali are doing. Simple words and photos. But four pages a day is 28 pages for the week. Plus the front and back makes 30. That seems like so much ink and photo paper for something I can keep on the computer. I don’t know why I am feeling frugal suddenly but it feels huge suddenly, enough to make me not want to do it. But I also felt sad and bad walking away from it, so I decided I am going to it fully digital. And once I am finished, if I still feel like pinting it, I will decide then.
Another thing I noticed is that I need more photos with me in them. I tried to put my wide-angle more today but didn’t do a good job. I will try more tomorrow. This is something I am not too good at, as you already know.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I have been listening to “Gives you Hell” still and it makes me so happy. I am grateful for the amazing power of music.
2. Despite the blah’ness and lack of motivation, I am still feeling so happy about my life and I am grateful that I’ve been able to appreciate my life so much.
3. I found out today that one of my best friends from childhood is coming to visit me on Saturday. I cannot wait to see him!
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. He said he’s still so grateful for legos 🙂
2. And very grateful for Daddy and that he came home early today.
Another shot from San Francisco.
I still haven’t decided whether I am doing the Week in the Life or not but I am still taking photos and trying to document a bit more than usual in case I do decide to do it. I took 121 photos today and some 130 yesterday. So far, so good.
I finally completed some long-standing items on my todo list. I have like 45 more but I am feeling more optimistic. Even though I started my day with an art journal page that made me unhappy enough to cover the whole thing. I did work on some more pages later in the day and I am trying to teach myself to let go more. Not try to be perfect. To practice. That’s the goal. Practice.
I know this photo is terrible but the sentiment is so amazing that I had to put it there. I love that David goes and hugs his brother randomly.
The little boy laughs a lot. All day long. He’s just a happy little one.
A lot of people ask me how I can get work done with two kids and no help, but this is a common scene in my house. The big boy sitting at the table, playing. The little one crawling around and playing too (or napping) so I can do it cause I have the world’s best kids.
Late afternoon, David and I practiced writing all the words he’s learned to spell. There’s around 14 or so. He whined a bunch but he did write them all 5 times each. But I am not sure how much he retained. Baby steps, I tell myself.
And here’s one I snapped while he was playing with his Didj.
I am totally hooked on the song “Gives you Hell” the Glee version and can’t stop listening to it. Now that the kids are in bed, I hope to get creative therapy ready and then sneak in a quick art journal page before Glee. Let’s see if I can pull it off.
Note to Self:
After I finished Karen‘s new book, I saw that she was having a retreat right here in a few weeks. I immediately wanted to sign up but then I worried about going alone. Was it a bad idea? Would I feel lonely and crappy? I asked two different people at two different times but neither could go. So I spent ten days mulling it over back and forth. I am not so great at going to places by myself. But I really wanted to do this. So last night I just bought the tickets and decided to take the plunge. I am anxious of course but I am also excited. I certainly could use a full day to meditate and listen to the amazing Karen talk. Here’s to taking a step on my own.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Glee! I am so excited about tonight’s Madonna episode.
2. We woke up to pouring rain today but then the sun came out and it was such a beautiful day that it lifted all my bad moods immediately.
3. I am grateful for the few but important tasks I’ve accomplished today. My scheduling technique is working a bit so far. Not bad.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Legos! They have taken over the dining table.
2. He had a wonderful day at school today where each class was a different city and they “flew” from city to city and played games, ate snacks, did crafts. When I picked him and asked about his favorite part of the day, he said “I am grateful for the whole day, mommy.”
I love Nature. I cannot get enough of it.
Today, I was all set to put in place my new schedule but, as always, my day went on an unexpected path. I hadn’t decided if I was going to do A Week in the Life or not (still haven’t) so I figured I’ll take some photos just to have them either way.
I grabbed my camera as Nathaniel was having breakfast and as I snapped one shot, the camera went insane. It flashed “err 99” and then the shutter wouldn’t stop clicking. So I took the battery out and put it back in. One more photo and then the craziness again. After six more attempts the camera simply wouldn’t stop. Even with different lenses or batteries or CF cards. Even with no CF card. A bunch of research on Google explained that my camera’s shutter was kaput and a replacement would be around $300. Since I was planning on upgrading anyway, I decided this was a sign from the universe.
And I bought a Canon 5D Mark II. And since my 10-22 won’t mount on that. I went ahead and bought a 17-40L. And I bought an 85mm 1.8 since the 50 is wider angle now and not as perfect for portraits. Man that 1.8 is sharp! I don’t even need to sharpen my photos anymore.
So I have a lot to learn with this new camera but I love it already and I am giddy with joy. When the battery did fully charge, I went ahead and snapped hundreds of photos for WIL in case I do decide to do it.
Nathaniel is still walk-crawling in his funny way. But at bedtime he was playing with David and did actually take 5 whole steps!
And one of David, of course.
He looks so much like me in this photo. It always amazes me.
David kept trying to get him away from the chair, thinking he would fall down but Nathaniel is getting into everything now. He is unstoppable.
And I also captured one of him lifting the curtains at bedtime. His favorite activity is looking out that window.
I have hundreds more.
We chatted with my aunt Ruthy in England today and also chatted with Mom and Dad while they ate dinner and while my mom was in bed. I love Skype. And David and I did some fun stamping today. I am hoping tomorrow will be more “typical” and I can be more productive. I also hope nothing else breaks.
Note to Self:
I decided recently that I will change some of my vocabulary. More like how I put things. I say “Oh I can’t make cards.” when I mean to say “I don’t like making cards.” I feel like the latter makes me sound pompous. But the former makes me sound like I am putting myself down. And a long time ago a friend told me that it’s best not to put yourself down too much because sooner or later people believe you. I worry so much about sounding cocky that I think I overcompensate sometimes. I think knowing yourself and knowing what you like and don’t like and want to spend your time on and what you don’t want to spend your time on is important. And I want to use that language more, for me if not for others around me. I want to pay attention to what I say, how much I belittle myself. Because doing it to myself is almost like giving others permission to do it to me, too.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am so grateful for my mom for being so generous with me. She’s amazing.
2. I am so grateful to my husband for putting up with my kind of crazy. I am certifiable and he loves me anyway.
3. I am grateful for my new camera and the joy it’s already bringing into my world.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Stamping with mommy’s stamps
2. Skipping veggies for lunch
A shot from San Fran from yesterday’s trip.
Today was not a good photo day. I was in such a funk that I did not feel inspired to take photos.
But of course I took a few anyway.
He’s almost one. My year of taking daily photos of him is going to come to an end. And then what do I do? I think I will focus on both kids more. David’s been a bit neglected (photographically) this year and I want to capture him more often, too. Knowing me I will likely create a schedule to ensure I capture each kid at least weekly or something like that.
Feeling sleepy. Haven’t I been saying that every day this week? It feels like I’ve dragged down and can’t get up. I will need some sort of jolt of adrenaline. Got any?
I will sadly admit I didn’t touch my art journal this weekend. Nor did I read more than 3 pages. Ugh. Here’s to hoping the week is more productive than the weekend was.
Note to Self:
I am not exactly sure why I am in such a funk lately. I feel unproductive, disinterested, tired, and too overwhelmed to be productive. Days are passing uneventfully and that’s inspiring me even less making the frustrating day even more unbearable. I hate it when I go to this place where nothing at all is inspiring or motivating me. But I still fight it and don’t sleep (like I should) and don’t play (like I should) and instead I lie on the couch, sulk, and make everyone else suffer.
I was just listening to a book which talked about how your attitude is in your control and how you can choose to be positive. Which I wholeheartedly believe. At the same time, I can’t seem to get myself out of this funk. I’ve listened to music, I’ve gone outside, I’ve watched movies. I haven’t done some art so I am off to do that now but not much seems to be working….
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Nathaniel took his very first step today. It was for a split second and if I had blinked I would have missed it. But I didn’t and it was a moment of pure pure joy for me. I am so grateful I got to see it. I know soon he’ll be walking and it will be no big deal but it is to me.
2. I am grateful that so many people share their talents online. I am so inspired by so many artists and I am so grateful for blogs and for getting to see everyone’s art so readily. What an amazing luxury!
3. I am grateful that my kids go to bed so early. I really need the quiet time tonight and I think I will actually head to bed soon, too.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. He got to play a tiny bit mor Wii today and that was a major highlight.
2. He’s been obsessively playing with his legos lately and it’s really most of what he does all day and he loves loves the little lego men.
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projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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