Catalyst Ninety-Five is: What’s something you struggle with?.
I made a list of all the things I would like to do. I constantly struggle with choosing which thing to do, to learn. I want them all. I made a list and printed it as my background.
Here’s what’s in the list: Teach David how to read. Learn Russian. Get a PhD. Study Mathematics. Learn to sew. Learn to crochet. Drive fearlessly. Visit Antarctica. Ride on a hot air ballon. Write a novel. Write another novel. Learn to ballroom dance. Learn to draw. Really well. Play the saxophone. Read. read. read. a lot. Learn Hebrew. Visit New Zealand, Australia, and Africa. Pet a penguin. Master web design. Teach Nathaniel to read. Teach both my kids math. Spend oodles of family time together laughing and hugging and playing. See the Northern Lights in Alaska. Drive across the country again. See all of the states. Go camping. Write a product that I am really proud of and one that becomes popular. Learn to quilt and make a huge quilt for our bed. Get my coaching license. Learn to ride a bike. Make beautiful art journals. Teach courses. Let go. Journal every day. Run a marathon. Cook more and better. Start my own non-profit. Run a non-profit bookstore. Embrace imperfection. Publish a book with my photography. Take a lot more photographs. Master post-processing. Master photography. Become fluent in Japanese, Italian and French. And Sign Language. Go to an art retreat. Let go. Stop seeking validation. Embrace joy. Make a movie. Create art products. Affect the education system. Let go. Learn to paint. Acrylic. Oil. Learn wood carving and metal smithing. Learn more about physics. Chemistry. Statistics. Become a therapist. Learn to decorate a cake. Master design principles. Have a photo shoot with my family. Read all the classics. Go to the movies. Take daily photos. Make more scrapbook pages. Tell our stories. Tell my parents’ stories. Tell my grandparents’ stories. Collect family photos. Find my own style. Let go. Embrace myself and the way I look. Make lifelong friends. Spend regular time with good friends. Apologize from people I’ve hurt. Donate to charity. Volunteer. Learn to knit in the round and to knit a cable. Change a tire. Make wreaths. Make bread. Take photos of myself everyday for a year. Reach out to family more and connect. Take a trip alone. Watch the sun rise and the sun set on the same day. Bake a pie. Let go. Make a really complicated dish. Walk across the Brooklyn bridge and the Golden Gate bridge. Declutter. Practice kindness towards others and myself. Let go.
Catalyst ninety-four is: What’s something you swore you would never do? Why? Did you do it?
When I had my first son, David, I was working from home. Even though it was hard at times, I loved watching him grow and being there to see it all. And when he turned eighteen months or so, I took a job with Google and was working in an office for the first time since he was born. Although his dad was home with him, I missed him everyday and regretted not being there with him. And then I got pregnant with Nathaniel. I told myself that there was no way I was going back to work once the little baby came. My job at Google wasn’t something I could do from home and I was determined not to miss Nathaniel’s childhood which meant I had to quit my job.
Then, a month before my maternity ran out, I went into work and told my manager I would be happy to stay at work but only if they would let me work from home. I would be willing to do any job, as long as it meant I didn’t have to come into the office. As it turned out, they were very wonderful and helped me move into another job in the same group. One that I could do (and have been doing) from home. As it turned out, I got the best of both worlds: I get to see Nathaniel (and David) grow up and I get to work at a wonderful company, with a product I am proud to be a part of.
Catalyst Ninety-Three is What’s something you really look forward to? (It can be something you look forward to every day, week or just one thing that you’re really looking forward to.)
I look forward to December all year long. Not just Christmas, which I do love, but the whole month. The lights, the festivities, the joy, the generosity, the jolly spirit – they all make me really happy. Thanks to Ali Edwards and Shimelle Laine, I’ve been doing a December-long minibook for three years in a row and it is my favorite project each year. I love spending more time with my family. Winding down. Snuggling indoors and doing craft projects, watching movies, baking, and just being together. It is, by far, my favorite time of the year.
This week’s catalyst is: If you had to pick one single thing you wanted to do or accomplish before your next birthday, what would it be? What’s stopping you from doing it?
The one thing I’d like to accomplish before my next birthday is to find a way to feel more peaceful inside. To choose peace and joy. To let go of worry and feel a little lighter, look at the world in a more positive manner. My life is really full and beautiful and I would like to be peacefully blissful. So I stitched this dove and created a little olive branch out of wire and beads. This would, by far, be the greatest gift I can give myself.
Catalyst ninety-one is: Create art around someone you wish you got along better with.
I am not always very good to myself. I don’t appreciate all that I have and I might even go as far to say that there are periods where I really dislike myself. I know that if I were someone else, I’d be giving myself the benefit of the doubt. Yet, I cut myself so little slack. I criticize and judge myself so harshly. So I made this art to remind myself that I need to get along better with myself. Love all of me.
Catalyst ninety is: What’s something that embarrasses you?
My words:
I have a hard time accepting compliments. When someone says something nice, I am immediately embarrassed and start saying that it wasn’t that hard, or it’s not that great, or it looks better than it is. Anything. I’ll say anything to take the focus away from me and from the gratitude someone is showing me. One time, a friend to me to stop doing that and just to say thank you. I’m working on it.
I wanted to create a bouquet of flowers (like someone presenting flowers to me.) with wire and beads. I learned this technique from the amazing Rebecca Sower. She inspires me endlessly.
Catalyst eighty-nine is: Tell us about a time when you realized you had the answer to something you were struggling with where you least expected.
my words:
As I’ve written about several times before, in 2002, I quit my job on Wall St. to become a teacher for Teach for America. Relatively soon after I began teaching, I started having serious doubts about my ability to do this job justice. It was a very turbulent time in my life and I still struggle with it from time to time.
One of the things I did at the time was to take a course in the hopes that it would help me decide whether I was ready to quit the job or not. At the end of this intensive three day course, I had many answers to many other issues in my life but I still didn’t know if I should walk away.
A few weeks later, I was telling someone why I had originally chosen to go into the computer field (so I could work from home one day when I had kids) and then why I had quit the wall street career for a more altruistic one (so that what I did with my time away from my kids would be for a worthwhile cause). In talking to this person, I realized that I had made many significant decisions in my life on behalf of children I didn’t yet have. I also recognized that I had managed to setup my life such that I was working way too many hours to actually make room to have any kids.
As soon as I realized this, I quit my job, encouraged my unhappy husband to do the same (and pursue his dreams) and we moved across the country to setup a new life and within a year of moving we were expecting our first baby. I know that if it weren’t for the course, and for the struggles with my teaching job, I might have never stepped back enough to observe my life and notice how misaligned it was with my priorities.
Sometimes an unfortunate circumstance can be the catalyst to something wonderful and amazing.
Catalyst eighty eight is: What’s the best relationship you’ve had so far? It can be a romantic one, a family member, or a friendship. Why is it so special?
Here’s my journaling
These three men in my life have taught me what it means to love and to be loved. They are the reason I wake up in the morning and the reason I go to bed at night and feel happy and blessed every moment in between. Until I met Jake I didn’t know what it meant to be with someone who can love me just the way I am and who can make me feel whole. Until I had my boys, I didn’t know what it meant to love so much that it pysically hurt my heart. These men make me feel whole. They make me feel thankful and blessed and lucky. So so lucky.
I don’t know what I did to deserve this but I am not taking it for granted for one single moment. I hold them and kiss them and hug them as many times a day I can. Thank you, my boys.
All of the beautiful digital elements here are by Anna Aspnes.
Catalyst eighty-seven is: If money weren’t an issue what would you do with your time? (career or otherwise.)
If I had all the extra time in the world and my kids and husband were sleeping, I would spend most of it reading. The joy I get from getting lost in a novel is unparalleled. And Dickens is one of my favorites.
Catalyst eighty-six is: Write a letter to your younger self.
Well this is the book. The one that started the whole thing. The one that led me to start Creative Thrapy. I had put it away a long time ago, not sure what I wanted to do with the cover. I took it out and took a piece of fabric and stitched some interlocked hearts. Some beads and a heart and a note to remember: loved. This book is a reminder that I was loved. I am loved.
Catalyst Eighty-Five is What’s the most daring or scariest thing you’ve ever done?
My words:
“Let’s just do it!” I said. We were sitting in Bar 89. Facing each other. Talking about how much we hated our jobs how sick we were of New York. How we wanted something different. “Let’s just quit and move!” I encouraged him. (and myself) I wanted to know that we still had the guts. That we owned our life, not them.
It took us another year but we finally did it. Quit the jobs. Packed the apartment. Bought a car. And moved 3,000 miles. To a city we’ve never seen before. A city where we knew no one. Had no jobs.
We did it. We got jobs. Found a home. Started a life.
And, most importantly, proved we can do it.
We just did it.
Catalyst eighty-four is: What’s the best gift you ever gave?
This was simple for me. A few months after David was born, I became an American Citizen. It was the best gift I gave myself and the best gift I could ever give my kids.
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projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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