Last time we went on vacation, this is what it looked like. I hope that won’t be the case for tomorrow’s vacation. (chances are low.)
Nathaniel loves hanging out at David’s table. It’s his favorite place.
David doesn’t yell at him but he’s pretty good at ignoring him.
Still congested and frustrated and annoyed honestly.
Note to Self:
It’s amazing to me that I can go from being extremely happy to really sad in moments. For no reason even. I can read into a few words in an email and have them mean wildly different things than the sender intended and have that destroy my mood, my day, my feelings about a situation. How terribly stupid is that? I wonder what the trick is to avoid feeling like this? Is there a way I can stop myself before I dive into the despair and self-pity?
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that my husband was able to take time away and I can go on this trip tomorrow. We both work pretty hard so it’s good to know that we can take time when needed.
2. I am grateful for a teeth-cleaning today. It had been way too long.
3. Grateful for a low-key week and I have two TV shows I’m looking forward to watching tonight.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing house at school (he got to be the Daddy. It’s my game, he said, I’m always Daddy.)
2. Watching Daddy mow the lawn. It was fun for me too! 🙂
I am running out of photos, I need to go take some. I haven’t taken time to do that in a while.
Nathaniel is eating a lot of food by himself lately. All sorts of fruits, cheese, bread, etc. and it’s good for me cause I can do things while he eats and he can pace himself as he likes but it’s also so much fun to watch him pick things up and stick them in his mouth and smack his lips. Just a joy.
David reunited with his ipod today and he’s overjoyed. He’d forgotten about it and I’d kept it away for a while. But I don’t mind him watching movies. Much better than TV since there are no commercials.
And here’s one of Nathaniel crawling. It’s blurry, I know but I love that his little foot is in there.
I am still having an allergy attack and my nose and eyes are all red and dripping and it’s no fun. But the medication to fix it also dries up my milk so I am stuck this way until it goes away. I pray that it’s soon.
Another layout done today, that makes 5 in 4 days, not so bad. I then did a lot of work, too. I am really excited that I am getting stuff done and going through my todo list. It’s nice to cross things off. There are a few insistent ones sitting there but I plan to finish them before the week’s out, too. Then I can start planning for May.
Note to Self:
I’ve been thinking a lot about being unreliable lately. Over the years, it’s become a trait that irritates me more and more. I feel like if you say you should do something then you should do it. On most occasions, no one is forcing you to commit to something so it’s often by will. And I know life gets in the way sometimes. I respect that but most often it’s cause some people have no integrity and don’t value their word or promise. I don’t want to be a person like that. To anyone. I really want to be careful what I commit to and I want to make sure I can actually do what I say I will, when I say I will. Is that possible all the time? I want to take a good look at my life and see what I promise and see if I can deliver it without pain and agony. I want to be able to have my word mean something. I also want to surround myself with others who practice the same thing.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Getting my layouts done. I am grateful for the joy they give me and for the sense of accomplishment I’m getting from doing them.
2. I put together an art journal/journal of sorts last night. I used my trees from last week and some papers from a kit I’d bought from Rebecca Sower. I am planning to take it with me on my trip and I am grateful for the possibilities it’s opening in me now. Maybe it’s the first art journal I can actually use.
3. I am grateful for competent customer support. I have the luxury of going through business tech support for some of my devices and it’s amazing what a difference it makes. Grateful for speedy service and kind people who take the time to resolve my problems.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Getting to watch movies in his ipod (surprise, surprise!)
2. Playing superheroes at school (he was Batman again. I’m always Batman, he says)
Beware the ides of March.
I always talk about how David is so nice to Nathaniel and he really is. Nathaniel loves playing with this push-toy and he often pushes until he gets stuck so David was following him around today to help him turn around so he can keep going.
Isn’t he marvelous?
And I love watching Nathaniel play. David has always been a fantastic self-player. And Nathaniel is growing to be one too and it’s so much fun to watch.
I woke up with a sore throat today and didn’t think I was going to end up doing my layout but within 20 minutes or so, I was more awake and did sit down to do my layout. Four so far this week. Not bad. Then I took David to school and did a lot of work while Nathaniel was napping. So all in all the day is a success but I am just so tired from being sick that I can’t dwell in its joy.
Note to Self:
I often wonder if getting sick is your body’s way of telling you to slow down. What would happen if instead of fighting it, I just lay in bed (or on the couch) and really did nothing. Rested, watched TV, read, or whatever low energy thing I can think of. Would it go away faster? And isn’t it better because this way I can get better and go to full productivity faster? I don’t know. I know it’s really hard for me to completely slow down. It’s not in my system but I do wonder if my body is trying to tell me something.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Getting my layout done even though I really really didn’t think I was going to.
2. I am grateful for a considerably lighter to-do list this week. I feel like it gives me space and time to think of new endeavors and projects.
3. I am really grateful for working from home especially on days like this when I feel so under the weather and can spend the day in my PJs and still get work done.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Snack time at school. (crackers and grapes)
2. Story time with Mommy (we read The Snow Bear)
I hadn’t had a tulip for a week. So here we are.
My little boy is still pretty clingy. But he does seem to be happier, thankfully.
Nathaniel got sent a book from Cbr (the bone marrow place) for his first birthday (which is coming up, amazingly) and David was trying to read it to him but he wasn’t paying any attention.
He did finally come by for a few seconds, but didn’t stay for the whole story.
And then he played with his walking toy.
And since some of you asked, I got Jake to grab some photos of me and David. They are not clear but I still like them.
And Nathaniel snuck in one, too.
Great day. I really finished all my tasks this weekend, I am flabbergasted.
Note to Self:
It’s amazing how tasks can have an effect on each other. I had a bunch of things I wanted to do this weekend. none of them were urgent and a few were things I really wanted to do but wasn’t really excited about. I did one of those big ones on Friday night which then gave me the energy to keep going and next thing I knew, I literally did all the items on my list. I know that the one task on Friday really caused all the others. This is the whole point of “eating the frog” but it’s amazing to see it in action. I think there’s something magical about starting your day with something for you (for example art for me) and then doing something that needed to get done that you’ve been putting off. The rest of the day is just icing in the cake. I’m going to try to do that this week and see if I can. Start my day with a layout and then when David’s in school and Nathaniel is napping, do my most important and burdensome task. Let’s see what that does…
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. An upcoming trip to Santa Cruz. I am filled with mixed feelings but also joyful anticipation.
2. Excited that I scrapbooked two days in a row just for myself. Grateful that I can.
3. Grateful for sunshine. It’s nice and sunny in beautiful California right now and I am so happy when it’s warm and sunny.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Craft time with Mommy. (I love hearing that!!)
2. Reading with Mommy and Nathaniel. (love this too!)
Today there are a lot of photos of me and the little boy. Feel free to skip 🙂
This is shaping to be one of those weekends where I didn’t think I would get to do my todo list items and yet I get them all done. Unpredictably. I processed my client shoot from last weekend. I did two layouts. I did a crafting project with David. I finished my book. I got a pedicure and a brow wax. I am even processing David’s birthday movie and photos. Quite surreal.
I asked Jake to take a bunch of photos of Nathaniel and me today:
And I snapped one of him.
And we’ve made a new rule that David can only play the Wii one day of the week. He chose Saturday. So here he is focusing.
I swear he doesn’t look that sickly in real life.
After I came back from my pedicure, Jake snapped a few more photos of us:
Photos of me with any of my boys is rare and special to me.
Note to Self:
I am doing really well with this “a project daily for a week” process I started. It’s making me create more every day and I love the feeling of it. I was reading this on Jen Lee’s blog today: ” I remember that someone once told me that balance isn’t doing it all, all the time, but it is often doing one thing for a time, then doing another and creating balance in this turn-taking fashion over the course of a month or a season or a year.” and I realized that’s exactly how I feel. I love the process of focusing on one thing for a while and then shifting gears. My creativity and interest goes in ebbs and flows and I love following it around. Since February, I’ve done:
– Feb 6 – 13: a week of heart stitching/sewing
– Feb 15 – 21: a week in the life project – daily scrapping of our day
– Feb 22 – 28: daily creative therapy catalysts
– March 1 – 7: daily stitching (for the sampler I posted today)
– March 8 – 14: the 5 in 5 challenge (using one concept – trees – with 5 mediums)
I never intended to do this and it wasn’t planned but I am loving it and I plan to continue. So this week, I am going to do a layout a day. I started on Saturday cause I am leaving town on Thursday and don’t think I will be able to do it where I’m going (I am not one of those “away from home” scrappers. I like to have all my things with me.) I already did two layouts today and it felt great. I have all my photos printed and I will be hand journaling. Sometimes I long for the days when I didn’t know about all the scrapbooking sites and books where I learned “how” to scrapbook. I wish I could go back to the days where I didn’t worry about design or products so much and really focused on telling my story, capturing the moments. In the end, that’s all that matters and I need to keep that in mind so much more often. So here’s to hoping this week can be about capturing that spirit.
I think I will sit and plan the next few weeks too. I’m thinking daily copics, daily drawing, daily journaling just to name a few. I also want to incorporate some of the recurring events into my week. Like actually sit and do a creative therapy and a layout each week. I work better with schedules, time constraints, and creative constraints. So I think I’d like to find some way to incorporate that in my week. Let’s see what I can come up with…
If you have ideas for weekly creative ventures, please do let me know. I’m up for pretty much anything.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. The two layouts I made today were for no one else but me. no assignment. no required products. nice journaling but nothing too long or even too deep. just genuine. for me. for nathaniel. i loved doing them. i have enough product to last two lifetimes and i am grateful that i got to use some of it.
2. I am grateful that I got to take some time to myself and get a pedicure. It’s as much about the time alone as it is about the pedicure itself.
3. I am grateful for how nice, kind, and easygoing my husband is. It’s a rare quality and one I appreciate deeply.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing the Wii! (of course)
2. Buying his lego toy (Jake’s brother got David a lego giftcard for xmas. we are now getting around to buying it.)
3. Learning to wash his own body during bath time.
He had three today.
It’s Friday and I am totally wiped. Five days of getting up at 5am will eventually get to you. I am really hoping that Nathaniel decides to sleep until morning soon. Please tell me it’s coming soon…
He spent most of the day glued to me as I wavered between tasks, accomplishing not much. Oh well, at least it’s now the weekend. And there’s much to be done, of course.
Note to Self:
I have a long todo list. And yet I don’t want to do any of the items on there. I want to curl up with my book and let myself off the hook at least for tonight. This always makes me feel guilty. But I have to remind myself that the strong urge to be let off the hook is a sign that I need some down time and I need to listen to it. Down time is important. Rest is how you recover the energy you need. So tonight I will rest and I can tackle the todo list tomorrow.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that bedtime with my kids is not painful. We eat, we take a bath, we read stories, we brush teeth, we nurse, we look out the window and laugh a bit and then everyone goes to bed. No whining, no complaining. It’s a miracle.
2. I am grateful that I am almost caught up in Nathaniel’s baby book. A few more layouts and I’ll be all there. It’s quite amazing.
3. I am grateful that it’s a quiet weekend with no commitments. I cherish being at home more than anything else.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing superheroes with his friends. David was Batman. Jace was robin. Joseph was superman and Noa was supergirl.
2. David said he’s so grateful for all of his friends at school.
Today was a long and stressful day. One of those days where things go wrong which causes the panic that then makes other things go wrong and it multiplies from there. Nathaniel woke up at 4 and would not go back to sleep. When I finally gave up and nursed him, he sat up and started giggling and wanting to play. Which made me mad and I put him back in his bed and passed out. Then when we dropped off David, Nathaniel wound’t take his morning nap. After complaining for a long time, he slept 25 minutes before it was time to get David which meant I had to wake him up. And then he would not take his afternoon nap and I was in the middle of the release craziness and he wouldn’t eat and then he wouldn’t sleep and I just was going a bit insane the whole day.
But in the end, it all worked out of course. Release went out. He slept, even if for 30 minutes. The kids took their bath where they hugged and smiled and played.
And they all went to bed and Jake and I got some quiet time and I got to play with my copics and do my trees. My arm is still hurting a lot and I am very tired. I think tonight will be a reading night. Haven’t done that in too long.
Note to Self:
I really need to focus on not letting the panic build. Sometimes I can literally feel the stress physically and it only does damage and causes more stress and causes more things to go wrong. Causes me to make stupid decisions which cause the whole thing to get worse. I need to take a moment, walk away, take a breath and come back calmer and more collected. I really need to work on this. For my sanity more than anything.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I was really at my wit’s end when Jake came home tonight and he just helped me and supported me all the way and thanks to him I now feel back to my calm and collected self. So thankful for him.
2. I am almost done with my art challenge and I love how my journal is turning out. I need another idea so I can keep the journal going. I am thankful for the internet for the inspiration and ideas.
3. I got a lot of support from another work mate today. I am thankful to work at a place full of kind, supportive people. I can never say this enough. People are what make a job suck or rock.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. School. He said he’s grateful for all of school.
2. Bath time!
I finally finished my stitching sampler and I love how it turned out. More on this on Saturday.
I am really enjoying doing this art challenge. In the last three days, I’ve played with fabric, pastels, stitching, copic markers, felt, beads, and wires. And I’m not even done yet. It’s awesome to get to have so much fun. Exactly what I was hoping for, for my journal. I am going to continue working on the journal for a few more weeks. Maybe I’ll do it two nights a week or something so it’s not so consuming. Or maybe I will just let it consume me.
Nathaniel is still being really clingy and quite grouchy about what he eats. I am hoping it’s recovery and antibiotics related and that it will go away. I just hate seeing him sad and frustrated so much. Not that I don’t get many many smiles, too.
At some point today, I had to put him down next to David who was playing and they just sat there next to each other and played and then they looked at each other and smiled and I just felt so grateful for my life all over again. I feel that way every night in the bath, too. And then Nathaniel just discovered that he can lift the curtains in his room and see light and look out the window and he loves doing that at bedtime now. So he and David looked out the window for a while together, too. I love watching them be together. So. much.
Note to Self:
Today was my friend Levent’s birthday. (I mentioned him in a recent catalyst. He was the first person I loved and he’s still one of my favorite people in the world.) I called him first thing in the morning and we talked for a long time. It had been quite a while since we chatted and it was so great to talk to him. There’s something magical about old friends. About the ease with which you talk and the comfort you feel about not ever having to be something you’re not. There’s a small chance I might see him in a month and the possibility fills me with joy.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. My chat with Levent. It started my day on such a great mood.
2. Some happy mail today. DMC floss and Copic markers. Yey!
3. Oh and I bought a piece of art today. If you have read my blog for more than a day, you know that I’m a big fan of Rebecca Sower and I’ve been staking her etsy store for a while now and when I saw this piece, I had to have it. I actually have that book and saw it in there first. I don’t know if it’s the little boys or the cream color that I love so much but I can’t wait to get it. I am grateful for inspiring, beautiful art.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Snack time at school (bagels and cuties – which is what he calls tangerines.)
2. Playing with Jakie’s speedracer. (it was share day today where kids are allowed to bring a toy to share.)
Another tree themed art in progress. I am using all the deliciously inspiring books I’ve recently bought.
I’m feeling happy. I’ve learned over the years that with rare exceptions there are no real reasons we feel the way we feel. I feel happy and then I feel sad and I work hard to attribute meaning to each. Instead I am just going to bask in the glory of it for a bit and enjoy it best I can.
I meant to mention this last night. Nathaniel stood up all by himself for the first time last night in the bath. When he was taking his bath, he pulled himself up on the tub and then I gave him this plastic toy and he held it with both of his hands, just standing up. David and I both cheered and Nathaniel of course didn’t even notice it. He was busy chewing his toy. We didn’t try to repeat it but I think I might practice with him some tomorrow.
He’s eating almost all by himself a lot now and I get to sit there and enjoy watching him.
Work is going well actually and I am feeling relaxed for a change. Trying to do the best I can everyday without stressing myself deeply. I hope I can continue to do this.
Note to Self:
I need to take care of myself more. Not only in the daily ways like taking time for myself, eating something besides graham crackers and coffee, etc. but also in the bigger ways. It’s been two years since my last checkup. A year since I’ve been to the dentist (even for a cleaning) and longer since I’ve had my eyes checked. My TMJ has gotten considerably worse and my arms are hurting and so is my back. I know sleep helps a lot with most of these but I do need to pay attention. I am not that young anymore (I am not saying I’m old, but I am certainly not 20.) and it’s part of my responsibility to not just myself but my kids and husband to do a better job of taking care of myself. This is just a reminder for myself for when I tell myself I am too busy or overwhelmed to take care of these things.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I felt some air going into my tooth this morning so I am thankful my dentist squeezed me in to check and even more thankful that nothing seems to be wrong.
2. I am thankful for art. SO thankful for art and how happy it makes me.
3. Thankful for my full life. That I get to do so much of what I love. That I get to have such a great husband and the most amazing kids. And that I get to work for a company i love with people I admire and respect and for a product I value and use daily (using it right now). That I get to do art every day. That I can afford to buy new supplies when I really want to. That I have the kindest and most supportive parents. And a sister who is so amazing and kind and generous and always makes me feel special. I can go on and on. There is so much I am grateful for in my life and when I sit to think about it, it always overwhelms me. I want to remember that feeling forever.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Playing imaginary ice skating with Ofir.
2. Getting a car that self-winds from my dentist.
No wii? Yep, didn’t get to play wii today.
Sometimes things just happen in so much synchronicity. Last week, I decided that my next project was going to be an art journal/journal of sorts. I am very inspired by Judy Wise’s journals and I love how there’s art all over and then she journals right along with it. I decided I wanted to do that, too.
Simultaneously, thanks to Jennifer Mcguire, I got completely obsessed with copic markers and ordered a whole bunch which promptly made me feel bad about spending money on something I might not use. Then I felt even worse about all the other “art supplies” I’d bought in the last year that I hadn’t really used. So…. instead of pouting I decided to take them all out and put them to good use right now.
So the plan is that my journal will have different methods used in all of the pages. Depending on my mood, depending on what I am practicing or wanting to dive into that day. The plan is that these will eventually incorporate both the “draw everyday for a week” and “finish a journal” items on my 52 Things list.
So today, I’m reading Kal’s blog and she talks about an art challenge she is going to do this week. One topic, 5 mediums. And I was like “Wow! Exactly what I had in mind and the push I needed to get going!” You know me, I like having a project.
So my theme is tree. I am going to do a tree 5 ways (maybe 7 even). Here’s the list of mediums I plan to use:
1. Photography
2. Oil Pastels
3. Embroidery/Stitching
4. Copic Markers
5. Fabric art
6. Water Colors
7. Water soluble markers
As I said, I might or might not do 7. I will be ok with 5. I might end up using other mediums depending on my mood. Let’s see if I can do it. I know the art won’t be magnificent but the idea is to try new things and I need to not be afraid to suck.
Good day today. Relatively productive and the boys were mostly happy and I was in a really good mood, too. Though my arm is still not being very cooperative. Thank you for the suggestions, I think I will try some of them and especially try resting it. Sucks to be in pain.
My little boy is much better though he’s waking up a lot around 4am and having a really hard time separating. I am trying to balance being there and leaving him alone enough to relax and sleep. It’s hard and I don’t enjoy this part at all.
I love him so much.
Note to Self:
I noticed today again how much I like organizing things, optimizing things, and getting work done. Solving problems and finding organized solutions is really really something I enjoy. I know it sounds odd but I really love it. And starting my morning with a solved problem gave me positive energy and confidence all day long. I should find a way to do that more often.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for Kal’s idea because it was the last kick I needed to get my project started.
2. I am grateful for solving this problem at work because this was a new area to tackle and now I feel much better about it.
3. I am grateful for inspiring books and for people who share their art online and inspire me so much. Yet another way in which the internet is magical.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
David had 3 today.
1. Having fireman Will come to school to talk about fire safety. (He even got to spray the hose.)
2. Playing house at school (he was the Dad, I’m told.)
3. Playing the Wii! (you could have guessed that one!)
Look, Kim, no food items!!
Yes, I am learning to crochet. It’s HARD! hard hard hard.
Nathaniel’s having a little detachment problems lately and he seems to think that 5am is a perfectly ok time to wake up. So today started on a rough note. And then I had a photo shoot at 8:45 which meant I missed the morning nap which is usually my relaxing time. And my arms are hurting like crazy from the stitching I’ve been doing which makes me ultra sad since I have a long list of things I want to do that require my arm. Ugh.
David played some more Wii today. Yep, he gets to play 45 mins a day or so. I think it’s better than watching TV.
Nathaniel is eating a lot by himself now. Bread and cookies and fruit and cheese and turkey and chicken. He’s doing great!
And here I am watching the Oscars and yes I will be stitching in a few minutes and yes it will hurt my arm and no I don’t care. I’m on release again this week so it promises to be a long week which means I need to relax.
Note to Self:
This arm pain is new to me. I’ve never suffered from carpal tunnel and I hope it won’t start now. I know I am supposed to rest it but that’s ridiculous, how can I do anything without my arm? I’m frustrated and dejected. I cannot imagine how others live with this. Please, please let it be temporary.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I had a shoot today. It was challenging in a lot of ways but I love being with the families and sharing in their private family time and getting a glimpse of their wonderful life and getting to capture it.
2. I am delighted that I got to crochet a bit today. Grateful for a clear, well detailed book my mother in law gave me.
3. I love love love award shows. Always have! When I was in Turkey I used to wake up at 4am just to watch them. Yey for the Oscars!
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Wii. Wii. Wii. It would make the list everyday.
2. Daddy reading to him. (They’re reading the Little House on the Prairie.)
Good day. Lots of reading (tho the book is still not finished), a nice chat with mom, and lots of craft time with David. And lots of baby hugging. What more can one ask for?
I would write more but we’re watching a movie 🙂
Note to Self:
I realized today that what makes a day feel productive or not has really less to do with what actually gets done but how much it meets my expectations. I could get one single task done in a day but if it was the one I’ve been putting off for a long time, it will feel like it was an extremely productive day. I know it’s obvious but it also means that I could feel more productive sometimes if I just lowered my expectations a bit.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Finally digging deep into my book and I love this part where it just flies.
2. I am happy to have figured out what I am going to do about my new project. At least, I think I have.
3. Some wonderful movie time with my hubby!
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Craft time with Mommy!
2. Not having to eat oatmeal for breakfast.
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projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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