And the weekend is almost over. Just a few more hours. Today was an uneventful day. I did my layout. I watched a few movies. I took a nap. I tried to relax and that was pretty much it.
The kids were in a funny mood. Tired and cranky and not in the mood to have photos taken.
Nathaniel did a lot of this.
And a bunch of this.
I am always sad when a weekend is over. Even when I work from home. Even though I love my job. It’s just stressful trying to balance it all.
Note to Self:
It’s amazing how much a thirty minute nap in the afternoon affects my day. I need to do this more often. I need to do it regularly. I took this course last year that talked so much about the importance of naps and rest, etc. And even though I know it mentally, I still don’t really follow it. I’ve been taking naps for the last few days and it makes my 4-6pm time so much more peaceful. It’s still not peaceful but considerably better and I feel less crazy and exhausted. I think if I napped more regularly and took a walk outside each day, I’d be a lot more productive and a lot less tired. (Probably eating more protein wouldn’t hurt either.)
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I love watching movies so today I am grateful for some movie time.
2. I always want to keep my heels softer but I hate wearing socks, especially to bed so I have a problem putting vaseline on and putting socks on. Yesterday I had the brilliant idea of cutting the toes off my socks. So I cut them so that what’s left is a tiny bit of the sole and heel and ankle. Now it doesn’t feel like I am wearing socks so I can keep them on but they do cover my heels and keep them moist. win win! grateful for solutions that work.
3. Grateful that my sweet, wonderful hubby will be here in a few hours.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. legos legos legos.
2. watching a new movie on his iPod.
Happy Saturday.
Things were really quiet and uneventful today. After I did my layout, I needed to read this book and I spent the better part of today on that. I didn’t even like the book so it was a shame but oh well. It’s finished now.
Today was David’s Wii day so when I told him to give me a smile, this is what I got.
And then Nathaniel tried to distract him and give him some love.
But he wasn’t having any of it.
So Nathaniel went to find some other toys in his favorite place which is under the dining room table.
And he was definitely in good spirits for most of today. Yey for my boys.
I think I am going to head to bed before it gets any later. I hope you’re having a fabulous weekend!
Note to Self:
Today I am mostly thinking about kindness and being nice. I don’t think you can have too much of either. The genuine kind of course. My first question is always if someone is nice. Not intelligent or rich or famous or whatever. Just nice. If they are nice, I know I will like them. What do you think is the most important trait in a person?
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Grateful that my book is finished (is that cheating?)
2. Grateful that my wonderful hubby comes back tomorrow. We love you babes.
3. Grateful that we all spent the day in our pajamas. Yey!
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. thankful for Nathaniel, he said.
2. Thankful for my daddy, i miss him. i’m happy he’s coming back tomorrow. he said his dad is the best dad ever and should be everyone’s dad.
(can you believe he didn’t even mention the Wii?)
Happy Friday! I hope your day was good. Quiet day here mostly. Jake left town to go to his brother’s birthday. Happy Birthday Danny!! We love you.
This photo is low quality but it shows exactly what Nathaniel likes to do which is to dig through a box of toys and just fling stuff he doesn’t like. I love that I got to capture it even if blurry.
And another one of my boy. I love him.
I love both of them so much. We went out to dinner tonight. Walked over to the restaurant, had a yummy meal and came back home. It was nice to get out and spend some time with my boys. I snapped this right before we went out.
And it’s already almost 9. I did take a short nap this afternoon so I am feeling a bit better but still too exhausted. And I have a 600-page book to finish this weekend. And my layouts etc etc. Oh well, whatever gets done, gets done.
happy weekend!!
Note to Self:
I did make a list last night. But I am still really taking it easy. Some things get done and others don’t. I am one of those people who really commits and does not like to give up on commitments (or people.) But the funny thing is, I have a lot of respect for people who know when it’s time to walk away from something. When to go in a different direction or when something is doing more damage than good or when something really is unsalvageable. People who understand the concept of sunk cost. Many years ago, I took this course where we talked about “strong suits” which are things that sort of make you who you are. Things you’re good at. And one of my strong suits is the “stick-with-it”ness I have with people and commitments and things. Often times I think a lot before I commit and then I religiously follow through. But sometimes circumstances change, people change, expectations change. Life changes. And sometimes it’s better and more mature to call it quits. (I am not talking about people who haphazardly commit and then walk away like it was nothing.) So I have a lot of respect for people who can assess a situation and know when to walk away. I need to get better at that.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Dinner with my boys. So nice to walk to dinner, sit outside, and enjoy my family.
2. It’s the weekend!!
3. Grateful for having no plans/obligations this weekend so we can spend it in our pajamas, playing and cuddling.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. having mommy read a story
2. telling mommy a story
Long and tiring day. The day of the release is always too stressful for me. But so far so good. I just need to get some more sleep. I noticed that I am so tired, I can barely drive. I am grouchy. I am whiny. I have no motivation. All cause I am sleepy. Need more sleep. That’s #1 goal for this weekend. Sleep. Kids. Play. Scrap. Read.
Nathaniel and David played so much today and I tried to snap away. Mosto of these aren’t perfect but then again neither is our lives. Here he is about to poke David’s eye out and actually does a few seconds later and David is so patient, so loving, so happy.
He lies on the floor waiting for Nathaniel.
Who smiles at him and walks.
And walks.
And then sits to ponder for a bit.
And then comes over for a hug. Each time I look at this photo, my heart swells. I love them so.
And here’s one of the little boy. See all those teeth?
Lovely day of playing. Jake came home early so I could go to work and pickup my stuff that’s been sitting there since Feb 09 when I left for maternity. One task done. I am very close to going to sleep. Still gotta post the book post, coming in a few minutes.
Note to Self:
Not only have I been really behind and unmotivated lately but I’ve been really disorganized. I normally make long and involved todo lists to keep track of my life. I notice that I haven’t made one in a long long time. The act of making one seems to fill me with dread lately. And I am so tired, I can’t muster the energy to make it even. And yet there are periods in the day where I really really want to get organized. So I think I should do that. Make the list even if I check nothing off. I think having it all on paper will get it off my mind and I really need that. Lists are my lifeline so I feel like I haven’t had a lifeline for the last few weeks.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. So so so thankful that my kids play together and love each other.
2. Thankful that I finally got my stuff from work, it was one of those put-off-forever tasks.
3. Thankful that most of the release is out and that it’s almost weekend.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. playing with Nathaniel and giggling and laughing
2. Watching lego movies with daddy
Something slightly different. Not sure how I feel about this photo but here we are.
Quiet day today. I am learning to be more and more peaceful every day. Working really hard on not freaking out. With work and with home-related things. Trusting that things work out somehow or another. Here are a bunch of photos from our day.
Nathaniel loves playing with David’s toys.
And the remotes.
And he loves looking at the TV when he turns it on. And I love looking at his lips and fingers and face.
He was being whiny this afternoon as David and I did some workbooks, so I put him on the couch next to David.
He immediately reached for the workbook (and pencil).
David, nicely, locked arms with him to block him lovingly. Isn’t he awesome?
And he also loves this toy I got for David years ago where it has different switches you twist and press and lift etc which opens these doors and animals pop out. He can’t open them but loves closing them. So he closes them and then shrieks until I open them back up again. And again and again.
Lovely day. I am trying to do my updates earlier so I can have time in the evenings to read and work and relax. Also gives me something happy to do during the 4-6 timeslot that I am not a fan of so win-win.
Note to Self:
I am working hard to learn to let go of things. To learn to realize that most things don’t matter. It’s not worth arguing. It’s not a big deal if a friend isn’t reading my blog. If my son spilled some crumbs. If Nathaniel skips a nap. If my hubby leaves something around instead of cleaning it up. These are small things and while they might be slightly frustrating, they don’t mean anything. They are not secret signs of bigger things. I am working hard not to make stories around them or get carried away. I think it’s better and easier to live this way. I want to work on this more and more. Sometimes I catch myself too late but still better to be mindful too late than not at all, right?
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am trying to enjoy this calmer, more relaxed attitude. Hopefully it won’t bite me.
2. I am grateful for my upcoming book club meeting.
3. I am grateful for David who helps me so much with Nathaniel and with the house.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Daddy and Nathaniel and Mommy, my whole family.
2. Playing with and getting presents from my family.
No idea what these flowers are called. I need to learn more flower names.
Nathaniel is practicing walking all the time now but he’s still a bit wobbly. His body is too forward. It’s so cute to watch him.
And David’s a clown as always.
Nathaniel with his walker. Loves these things.
And here he is quietly playing. Love these moments. They are pretty rare but fully enjoyable. I love watching him play.
I got some more stuff done today. I talk about getting stuff done everyday don’t I? Isn’t it tiring to listen to it? I think I’ve also joined a new reading group. Still not sure but I’m going to read the book just in case. Can’t hurt to read a good book, can it?
Not much from me today, hope your day was well?
Note to Self:
I need to work on my yelling. I notice that I can go from calm to insane in a second. And I hate yelling. I hate who I am when I am yelling. I feel strongly that it doesn’t get my point across and it doesn’t make me feel better. I need to try to count to five or to walk away or something to calm myself down. I don’t want to be the mom who yells. I don’t want to be the person who yells or panics or loses her cool 50 times a day. I’d rather find a way to work on this while they are still small because I feel things will get more challenging with time. What do you do? Do you have ways to calm yourself down before you lose your cool?
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Glee tonight! Yey.
2. Grateful for some crafting time with my son.
3. Grateful for a relatively quiet day and a 15 minute nap in the afternoon.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. playing at home and with Nathaniel.
2. grateful for my Daddy
3. Playing with my legos!
Flowers are nature’s music.
Here’s a typical shot of our life. David eating, Nathaniel walking around. Playing.
And then both of the boys playing.
And Nathaniel practicing some more walking.
Uneventful but nice day here. Quiet, peaceful. David had a playdate in the afternoon and it was nice to have someone over, playing with him. He’s always so nice to others and I love that about him. He works hard to control himself even when he’s frustrated.
Not much to say tonight. Hope your Monday was well.
Note to Self:
I worked on being calmer today. Trying to stay low key, calm, happy and not get frazzled. For the most part it worked; I need to work on it more. I’m the one setting an example for my kids. If I am not calm, it sets off everything on the wrong path. Not to mention, it ruins my day, too. I certainly believe things are self-perpetuating and happiness is a state of mind and something I can choose. So is calm. I really want to work on this. I think if i could be calmer and happier, it would make life considerably pleasant all the time.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Good books. I’ve been reading lately and each time I read I remember how much I love reading.
2. Nice chat with my mom and with my sis. I love them so and I am thankful to get to talk to them so often.
3. I am grateful for tulips today. I got a new bunch yesterday and I love them so much. They make me happy.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I swear he said legos again.
2. Having a playdate with Ece.
The path to my house is filled with roses. They are each so large and stunning. So many colors.
A wonderful Sunday here. Some scrappy time, some quiet reading time, a delicious and wonderful lunch with my whole family, some more reading, and now a little bit of business. As always I didn’t get all my todos done but I’m ok with that.
The very best part of Mom’s day was getting wonderful photos of my family. One of all of us.
And then me with my boys.
And another.
And one of my three boys. The wonderful men in my life.
And another. The loves of my life.
I am a little sad the weekend’s over. But I am in a lot of pain, too. Maybe I’ll just take a sick day tomorrow and actually lie in bed. That would be a novel idea. I have no idea what to do to make my back pain go away. Anyhow. It shall pass.
A word for my mom. I love you mom. Over the years, you’ve always loved and supported me wholeheartedly. You’ve always always had my best interest in mind and you were patient and respectful of my choices (even if you didn’t understand them or agree with them.) No child could ask for a better mom. I love, adore and cherish you. With all of my heart and soul.
I also wanted to take a moment to thank and acknowledge my amazing sister, my grandmother, my other grandmother (who totally would have called me today. I thought of you so much Omama.), my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law, and all the amazing moms in my life. And all the people who’ve taken the time to make me feel special in some way or another. Those of you who come to read. I might be just another blog in your surfing but it means a lot to me that you take the time to read my words.
Note to Self:
I was thinking today that days like this (Mother’s Day) comes with so many expectations. So much comparison. Bad feelings for those whose kids might have passed away. For those who lost a baby or those who cannot yet conceive. I have a lot of thoughts on this. So I will try to organize a bit.
On what I want for our family: Over the years, I’ve been through a lot of different feelings about these events. Even about birthdays and anniversaries and Christmas, etc. On one hand I think most of these have become commercialized events and I am not excited about that. On the other hand, I think there’s nothing wrong with taking an occasion to make someone feel special. I want to celebrate life with abandon. I want days to be filled with appreciation and joy. And if there are certain days reserved just for that, I am ok with that. Why not? I want to make cards and banners and celebrations. I don’t care if others think it’s dorky. I think it’s happy. And why not live with joy. Sarcasm is so overrated if you ask me.
On expectations: Having said all of this, while I want to encourage my family to play along with me, I also want to live my life with no expectations. I can’t find it now but Gretchen Rubin has this whole thing about gold stars and not looking for them or the one about no calculations and I wholeheartedly believe in it. And when I see myself slipping, I try hard to give myself a talking. The fact is, I chose my husband and I adore him. I chose to be a mother. I chose to stay/work at home and be there with them (which i love love love.) and they owe me nothing. My mom doesn’t owe me anything. No one owes me. I am so thankful for these people in my life. I am so thankful for how much I have. The best part of Mother’s day is getting to wake up and being in the house with the people I love. Knowing that they are in my life. The flowers, the chocolate, presents. Those things are meaningless compared to the love. To life. So, if you’re comparing, I hope you don’t. I hope you realize the amazingness of your life and its gifts. Cause I am working hard to do that over here. To live and love the choices I made. (and if I don’t, I love that I have the freedom to change my choices.) So no expectations here. If I want a special day, I want to be a part of creating it, not expecting it.
For those of you who have personal tragedies or stories that keep you from feeling good about today, I hope you take the time to be kind to yourself. To pamper yourself. Don’t wait around for someone to recognize you. Recognize yourself. You’re amazing, just the way you are. I swear. You are. So make sure you are acknowledging that. Today and everyday. (I know it sounds cheesy but it is true. It really is. Let go of the stupid sarcasm and embrace joy and happiness. Life’s so much better when lived with joy.)
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Photos of us. I love having photos of us. I love love love them.
2. An absolutely delicious lunch with all of my boys.
3. Grateful for my life today. Just the little moments in between the craziness, the meals, the routines, the rush.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. legos legos legos. yep. and again.
2. getting to eat chocolate and dessert
So I am pretty pleased at the progress of LOAD but it does seem to be sucking all the other creative energy out of me. I have no idea what I did today and here it is 8pm and I haven’t accomplished much. I did take a walk with my family and have a mini-picnic. I read a bit. Oh and I bought a bunch of scrappy stuff. That’s it. Ugh. I will read a bunch more after this and I plan to get organized. Even if I don’t do any of my todos, it’s good to know what they are.
David was playing the Wii most of today and this is the best shot he’d give me.
And Nathaniel played.
And laughed when I made noises.
Love my kids. Love my husband who puts up with my crazy. Cause I have so much of it, trust me.
Note to Self:
I find that I can go from normal to crazy in a matter of seconds. Sometimes I don’t even realize I am feeling bad and yet, I am. And it all comes rushing out of nowhere. I think I need to pay more attention to these feelings so I can catch them before they come. Once it’s here, it’s too late and too overwhelming and too crazy. All bad things. Because then I start creating more and more chaos and making things seem way worse than they are. Whereas if I were able to catch it ahead of time, maybe I could prevent it, or at least I could let it come quietly, with more awareness and hopefully with pass with less damage.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. Grateful for chocolate. I am so grateful for chocolate. It makes me happy.
2. Grateful for our little walk. I love getting fresh air and being with my family.
3. Grateful that it’s only Saturday. One more wonderful weekend day.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. Getting to play wii, of course!
2. Having a pop-tart. Very rare deal for my little boy.
It all starts with the morning it seems. I woke up more rested today and that caused most of my day to go better. Amazingly simple and yet it’s something I cannot actually control. Oh well. Life.
I took a series of shots of Nathaniel getting up to walk today, I actually took like 12 of them but here’s a small montage.
A typical Nathaniel face. Checking things out.
And here’s a typical David look. Love this boy to bits.
David’s been learning how to ride his scooter. Two days in and he’s already better than I am.
We had some friends late today and one of the women gave Nathaniel some cheerios which he never eats when I give him.
But he didn’t hesitate when she gave him some. And jammed them all in his mouth.
As if he’s never seen them before.
Well, love these boys. I can’t believe a whole week of LOAD is finished and I am still going on. I didn’t think I’d make it this far honestly. My heart just wasn’t really in it even though I thought it would be a neat idea. And now, I have seven layouts every single one of which I absolutely adore. Let’s see if I can keep this going. Still taking it one day at a time. I am also hoping to read some this weekend, paint some, help a few friends with technical stuff, and maybe reach for my art journal which has been neglected a bit. I have a sewing project in mind too. Or and some long-overdue todo items. And the email. oh the email.
Note to Self:
Today’s note to self is that life is short and I need to remember that more often. Fill up the moments with joy. With what makes me the happiest. I think I love the recent layouts cause they are happy. They make me happy. Making them and looking at them. I need to shed as many “obligations” as possible and use my time happily. Not wisely but happily. Doing joyful things. And I need to give up more. When something stops being fun, I need to quit it. It doesn’t make me a quitter. It makes me appreciate that life is short and I need to make the most each moment’s value. Suck the marrow of life as my favorite movie quotes.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for a few hours of talking and relaxing with my husband. It’s wonderful to me that after sixteen years we still have so many interesting things to discuss. I love that he’s my best friend.
2. One of the mom’s in David’s school told me I looked great today. She had no reason to and it made me so happy. Grateful for random acts of kindness today.
3. I am grateful for a quiet weekend with almost no events planned. I want to rest a lot and maybe get a bunch done. Let’s see if I do.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. legos legos legos. yep. and again.
2. and the scooter again. he loves that thing.
I’ve discovered today that I don’t do well during the 4:30-6pm timeslot. No matter what, I get stressed, cranky, tired and overwhelmed. I’ve been suffering from back and jaw ache and I now have allergies again which is causing me to have headaches and means medication and lots of tiredness and crankiness. All in all, not good.
But I am still loving doing my layout a day and I’ve just received the May kit from A Million Memories which is full of beautiful October Afternoon which I love so I am really excited to be ripping into it tomorrow.
I can tell you without a doubt that my favorite thing in the world is watching my two kids play with each other.
And they both love it too.
I adore them.
With all of my heart.
I love how Nathaniel looks at David and how patient David is with him.
And how he walks him around. (I know this is blurry. I don’t care.)
I adore them. They and my incredible husband are the highlights of any bad day. Of any day. I swear. Even when they frustrate me, my heart swells with love at seeing them. I know I say this every night but I think I am going to head to be early tonight. I can tell I need rest. I just can’t seem to get enough of it. I am really behind in email and I apologize if you’ve sent me mail. I am not ignoring you, I swear.
Note to Self:
I was listening to the Feynman book today on my way home and one of the letters starts by this gentleman explaining how he puts off writing back to his favorite letters so he can dedicate them the time and effort they deserve. Which often means they end up sitting in a pile for a long long time. This made me laugh because I do the exact same thing. With email of course. But when I receive a wonderful email, I always put off replying to it. I feel like I want to do it justice and I constantly put it off cause I never have “enough” time to give it the time it deserves. In the end, it means I always choose the urgent instead of the important. I need to fix this. I think it means the people and the words I value always get the short end of the deal.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am extra grateful for my husband today. He was an angel to me both in the morning and in the evening. He always comes through for me. over and over.
2. I am grateful for Advil. I’ve been having a lot of headaches and it really is the medicine that works almost immediately.
3. I got to go out last night and have dinner with several of my workmates. It was quite lovely and I am grateful that I was able to take this time to sneak away, have some good food and some quality conversation.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. legos legos legos. yep. again.
2. david mastered his scooter today. here i was all worried he would never learn and boom he just did it. he loves loves loves it now.
Long, frustrating day here. I don’t even want to rehash it. I am ready to be over with today. Ugh.
Nathaniel’s started to push things around. He loves David’s chairs especially.
And when they fall over, he tries to pick them up.
But he can’t.
So he gives up.
And starts getting into other things, of course.
He’s a big fan of the empty water bottles I recycle.
And David spends most of his days with legos still.
And that’s pretty much life here.
Note to Self:
I noticed today that a small little problem can set my whole day off. This is ridiculous but maybe it’s cause I am operating at such full capacity that a tiny new drop causes me to spill over. Or I am easily frazzled. Or I am so tired. But either way, it’s a bad sign that small things can set me off. That they ruin my day and cause me to be angry and to yell and to look at everything else through negative eyes. There aren’t that many days and each is really precious. I do not want any of them to be ruined by my bad attitude. I need to work on this. I need to know how to stop things from triggering me. Things happen. This is life.
Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that my husband lets me vent when I am feeling frustrated for no reason and don’t want my problems resolved but just wanna vent. I know it’s hard not to try to solve and I appreciate it a lot.
2. I am grateful that Nathaniel decided to take both of his naps today, I really needed it today.
3. I am grateful that despite my unreasonableness at times, David is still wonderful and loves me.
Two Things David’s Grateful For:
1. legos legos legos.
2. more batman movies!
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projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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